Once Burned (Firehouse Fourteen Book 1) (14 page)

Kayla sighed and closed her eyes, her lips moving silently. Nick couldn't tell what she had muttered to herself, but the relief was evident in her eyes when she reopened them and looked at him. "Thank you."

Nick was silent for a minute, then fixed her with a hard look, stepping closer to her. "Don't thank me yet, Kayla. If we're going to do this, we're doing it my way. No more battles, no more tension, no more butting heads. Can you do that?"

"I—"

"Can you? Because if you can't, tell me now and that'll be it. I'll send another letter, and I'll make sure you can't get to it first. Do we have a deal?"

A range of emotions flickered across her face, from surprise to resentment to reluctant acceptance. She pursed her lips and nodded, a quick jerk of her head. "Fine. But what is it you want to do differently?"

Nick studied her, then stepped away, putting a safe distance between them. "I'll get in touch with Jay and let him know."

"Fine."

"Good."

They stared at each other, awareness and tension pulsating between them. Kayla finally looked away and grabbed her jacket, pulling it on and zipping it with surprising speed, like she couldn't leave fast enough. She cast a quick glance at Nick and took a deep breath. "Thank you."

Nick nodded his acknowledgment and watched as she walked out of the kitchen. He followed her as she made her way to the door. "Kayla," he called.

She paused at the door and looked up at him. "Yeah?"

"What would you have done if I had said no? If I hadn't changed my mind?"

Her shoulders slumped and she looked away for a minute, considering. She opened the door then looked back at him, her face carefully blank, her eyes not quite meeting his. "I don't know."

Nick continued standing there after she left, staring at the closed door, and wondered if she had told him the truth.

"Tell me again why we're here," Mike said to Jay when he pulled his truck into the parking lot of a bar and grill. Jay turned the engine off and got out, not bothering to wait for her. Mike rushed to catch up to him, wondering why he seemed to be in such a hurry.

"Because this is where Nick said to meet him. Other than that, I have no idea."

"This is ridiculous. How are we supposed to work in here?" Mike asked when they walked through the door. It was close to five o'clock and the happy hour crowd was starting to thicken in the bar, the noise a raucous symphony around them. Jay paused at the entrance and looked around, then turned to face Mike, his expression serious and unforgiving.

"Ridiculous or not, you just better be grateful Nick reconsidered. You have one hell of a lot more to lose than I do, so you better just keep the remarks to yourself."

Mike bit back the retort she wanted to make, knowing that Jay was right. For the moment, they were at Nick's mercy. Or rather, she was. It wasn't a position she enjoyed. Worse, she couldn't figure out what Nick had in mind. Because there was no doubt he had something planned, and she was sure she wasn't going to like it one bit once she figured it out.

"There he is." Jay pointed to a table in the far corner of the restaurant side and threaded his way through the crowd, dragging Mike with him. They reached the booth and Jay motioned for her to slide in first then he followed, setting his bag containing the files on the floor next to him. Mike slid further into the corner, doing her best not to look at Nick, which was difficult since his gaze was focused directly on her.

"Did you guys want to eat first?" Nick asked, finally pulling his gaze away from her. She breathed a sigh of relief and stretched out more comfortably, straightening her legs in front of her.

"Maybe just something light, I can't stay long."

"What?" Mike turned and stared at Jay, not believing what he said. "What do you mean, you can't stay long?"

"Just what I said. I have a date later."

"Date, my ass. Why didn't you say something earlier? Just how am I supposed to get home? You're the one who drove!"

"I'll drop you off."

Mike turned to face Nick, not bothering to hide her anger. The vague uneasiness she had felt ever since Jay had told her about this meeting solidified with the suspicion that she was being set up. She turned her look on Jay, narrowing her eyes at him. "You had this planned, didn't you?"

"Actually, no. I was planning on dropping you off before my date, but this will work out, too."

"The hell it will—"

"Mikey, we're wasting time. Let's just grab something quick so we can get on with this." Jay's voice was calm, but far from reassuring. She studied him, looking for some sign that he was lying. His face was a picture of perfect innocence, which only made her even more suspicious. She bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from saying anything and leaned back in the corner, nodding her silent acquiescence against her will.

A waitress showed up at their table less than a minute later, her attention called by Nick. She smiled down at him and Mike rolled her eyes at the obvious interest on the girl's face. Nick and Jay agreed to split a large serving of nachos, then Nick looked at her expectantly.

"Nachos are fine. And a margarita," she added. "On the rocks, no salt."

"No alcohol."

"Excuse me?" Mike stared at Nick, her expression clearly telling him what she thought.

"No alcohol. That's one of the conditions."

Mike glared at him, silently stewing at his high-handedness. So this was what he was up to. Fine. Like it really mattered to her. She waved her hand at the waitress, who was watching them with undisguised curiosity. "Whatever. I'll have an iced tea then. No big deal."

The waitress left with their order and Mike sank further into the corner when Jay pulled out a stack of files. Nick rearranged the table to give them more room and the two of them got down to business, planning in more detail what should happen with the first presentation. Mike tuned them out, not interested, still steaming from the obvious set-up.

"So what do you think, Mike?"

"Huh?" She looked up at Jay, who was watching her expectantly. "Think about what? This isn't my show, remember? I'm here to observe and evaluate and sign off, that's it."

"Not anymore. That's another condition. From here on out, you're taking a more active role in this," Nick said, his tone of voice telling her that it was a demand, not a request. She stared at him, clenching her jaw and doing her best not to say anything. Her effort collapsed after five seconds, and she slapped her hand down on the table.

"That's it. This is such bullshit. Let's get something straight, Nick. This isn't my project. It never was. I'm not
supposed
to have anything to do with this. And for you—"

"Mike, take it easy." Jay rested a hand on her arm and tried to ease her back into the seat. She shook his touch off, not even sparing him a glance.

"No. For you to sit there and start making demands—ridiculous demands. This is outrageous Nick, and you know it. You have no right to do this!"

Jay stiffened next to her and mumbled something but she paid him no attention, instead focusing on Nick. He sat up straight across from her, his dark gaze intense as he studied her. A minute went by before he reached into the pocket of the blazer he was wearing and pulled out a sealed envelope. He held it in his hand for a second, then slowly reached across the table, holding it out for her to take. She looked down at the envelope, noticed the address of fire department headquarters neatly typed across the front, and felt her stomach sink.

Nick held the envelope out for another second then, when she made no move to take it, placed it in the middle of the table and pushed it toward her. "We made a deal the other night when I told you that I was going to change things. This is part of that deal. Now you can either go along with it, or I can mail this letter. And you can be sure it's not going to go where you can get it first."

Mike slumped back in her seat and stared first at Nick then at the letter, trying hard to rein in her temper. A tense silence fell over them, a silence that wasn't even eased when the waitress returned with their order and quickly placed it on the table in front of them.

"Mikey." Jay's voice was a tense whisper, holding a warning in that single low tone. She turned to face him, staring, looking for help in his gaze. What she saw didn't ease her mind at all. Instead of help or even reassurance, she saw warning—and even impatience. She looked away from Jay, not liking the feeling that she had just lost support from her best friend, then took a deep breath and faced Nick, speaking in an angry hiss when the waitress left.

"This is blackmail, Nick. And really low."

Nick shrugged then scooped some nachos from the plate and took a bite. He chewed the food, then fixed her with a steady gaze. "I never said I wouldn't stoop to low tactics."

Mike ran her hands through her hair and fought the very strong urge to bang her head against the table. She let out a deep breath and turned back to Jay. "What do you think?"

Jay returned her look, that same expression on his face. He reached under the table to give her leg a reassuring squeeze. "I don't think you have a choice."

More than three hours later, Mike was still stuck with Nick, completely against her will, and totally alone. Jay had abandoned her two hours ago, leaving for his date, handing the files over to Nick so they could continue to tweak the first presentation. To Mike's surprise, Nick had put the files away and suggested they order dinner, which she reluctantly agreed to. There was no sense in starving herself just to prove a point.

The surprises continued when Nick then suggested they continue work at his house once they finished eating, using the noise and crowd as an excuse. Mike said absolutely nothing, just shot him numerous dirty looks when they left the restaurant and drove to his place.

And now here she was, sitting on the leather sofa in his living room, seething with anger while Nick went to change. Mike glanced at her watch and wondered how long this charade was going to last. It was already after eight o'clock. Surely Nick would want to call it quits soon since it was a weeknight and she was certain he had to work in the morning.

All she wanted to do right now was go home, change into her flannel pajamas and a t-shirt, and have a drink. A nice, stiff drink. She was sure Nick would turn
that
one around to mean something menacing if she told him.

And speak of the devil, here he came. She looked up as Nick came down the hallway from his bedroom and wished she had that drink right now. He was barefoot, wearing a pair of loose, low-slung sweatpants and a ratty old tank shirt. Mike swallowed a groan and tried to look like she wasn't interested in the change of scenery.

"It's a little cold to be wearing a tank shirt, isn't it?" She didn’t bother to hide the sarcasm from her voice. Sarcasm was ten times better than letting him think, even for a second, that she was effected by the sight of his broad shoulders and sculpted arms. Nick paused to stare at her as if she was crazy, then walked over to the built-in entertainment center.

"Did you need me to turn the heat up?" His voice was laced with insincere hospitality and Mike bit back another sarcastic comment, knowing he would only turn it around like he did with the shirt comment. He raised his eyebrows at her silence, the barest hint of a grin teasing the corners of his mouth, then turned away and sorted through a collection of CD's, inserting them into the stereo. Mike watched him, noticing the play of muscles in his back and arms. Her eyes widened when she noticed the tattoo high up on the back of his right shoulder.

"When did you get the tattoo?" She immediately regretted the question and wished she could take it back. Shouldn’t she have noticed the other night when they were together? When she had been in bed with him. Naked. Not that she had been paying any attention to his back.

Nick hit a button on the stereo then turned to face her. "When did you get yours?"

"How did—never mind." Mike looked away, cursing the blush heating her face. Nick walked over to the sofa and sat down next to her, entirely too close. She edged away from him, only managing to move a few inches because she was already sitting as far over as she could go. Any further and she would be sitting on the arm of the sofa. Or the floor.

"I guess I was the only one paying any attention to the details the other night, hm?" Nick draped his arm across the back of the sofa, his hand grazing her shoulder, and watched her in silence. Mike closed her eyes and barely refrained from groaning out loud, both at his nearness and at the realization he must have been awake when she got out of bed the other night. That was the only way he would have been able to see the small dolphin tattoo in the middle of her lower back.

"So, um, why don't we just finish up with this presentation? Where did you put the files?" Mike looked everywhere but at Nick, needing to change the subject before she embarrassed herself even more. He shifted next to her, stretching his legs out and propping them on the glass coffee table in front of them. He was so close, she could feel the heat of his legs next to hers. The heat of his arm where it barely touched her shoulders.

"Actually, I think we did enough for tonight. We can give it a break for now."

Mike clenched her jaw and turned to stare at him, not trying to hide her surprise or her anger. "Then what the hell am I doing here? I thought the whole point was to do some more work."

"I changed my mind."

"Yeah, right." Mike watched him for another second then abruptly stood, her fists clenched at her side. Anger coursed through her and she welcomed it, knowing it was better than the other emotions warring within her, unwelcome and confusing. "I want to go home. I mean it, Nick. I don't know what game you're playing, but you can count me out. Now take me home."

If she had been expecting a reaction, she was going to be disappointed. He didn’t move, not even to raise an eyebrow at her demand. Nick just sat there, looking too relaxed and too comfortable, his legs stretched out in front of him and his arm still draped across the back of the sofa. He watched her, his dark eyes intense, piercing. Long minutes went by, filled only with the music coming from the stereo. Mike recognized it as the same CD that had been playing the other night when she stopped by, the one filled with songs that held too many memories. Watching Nick sit there, looking at her with that dark intense gaze, she wondered if it had been a deliberate choice. If the music meant to him what it did to her, or if it was nothing more than a casual coincidence.

Nick stood suddenly, his lean body unfolding from the sofa with a powerful grace that made Mike take a step backward. He closed the distance between them, tension radiating from him in suffocating waves that froze her in place. He stopped an inch in front of her, staring down at her, holding her in place with nothing more than a look. Mike swallowed her sudden uncertainty and forced her gaze away from his, needing to break the hold he had on her. How was that possible, after all these years?

"Nick, please take me home." Her voice was just above a whisper, pleading. But she didn't care if it made her sound weak. She was weak, where Nick was concerned. She had always been weak with Nick. And she wanted—needed—to leave.

But Nick said nothing and she wondered if he had heard her because he just stood there, looking at her, his expression unreadable. Slowly he reached out for her, his hand gently closing around her arm and pulling her to him. His other arm wrapped around her back, tucking her body against his in a tentative embrace. Mike stiffened and placed her hands against his chest, trying to push away, only to have him tighten his hold. "Nick, take me home."

"Not yet," he whispered. His hand drifted up her back and behind her neck, then cradled her head and guided it to rest on his shoulder. His body began swaying to the music, so slow at first that Mike didn't realize what he was doing. Her eyes closed and she swallowed, not wanting to follow his lead but doing it anyway. "Remember when you said you wanted to go back, just for a little bit? To pretend like nothing happened?"

Mike nodded, not trusting her voice, wondering where Nick was heading. His arm tightened around her waist, pulling her even closer, and his lips grazed her temple, a fleeting touch that was there and gone before Mike could react.

"That's the final condition. While we work on this, we pretend the last ten years never happened," Nick explained, his voice a soft breath against her ear. The words, wrapped in the seductive whisper of his voice, sent a shiver through her. She leaned forward, melting against him. It was too easy; it felt too good, even though her mind was screaming
no
. "We pretend to go back, just for a little bit."

Mike pulled away, but not hard enough to break his hold on her. Anger flared then stilled, disappearing just below the surface, replaced for a brief moment by fleeting hope. She bit down on her lower lip and rested her forehead on his bare shoulder, just for a second before reality crashed over her. She pulled back again, still not breaking Nick's hold, but no longer leaning against him.

"That's impossible, Nick, and you know it. You can't make it a condition. It'll never work."

"How do you know?" He studied her with a quiet intensity that disturbed her because she didn't understand it. His eyes searched hers, silent and dark as his fingers gently rubbed the back of her neck. Nick's right arm was still wrapped lightly around her waist, leading her in the gentle sway of the music. Mike closed her eyes, no longer able to meet his gaze, tempted to give in to the hope he waved in front of her.

Tempted to give in to
him
.

But what he was suggesting was impossible. She could never forget; she wasn't sure if she could ever forgive. For all that she missed what they had before, they could never go back. They were two completely different people now.

"Kayla, look at me," Nick whispered. Reluctantly she did as he asked. Her breath caught in her throat at the look in his eyes and she had to fight to hold on to the reasons she had just given herself. "I'm not saying forget. Too much has happened for either one of us to do that."

"Then what are you saying?"

"I'm just saying that while we're doing this program, we pretend like nothing is wrong between us. That we spend time together, that we act like normal people. No animosity, no tension." He held her tightly against him, his hand rubbing circles on her lower back, distracting her. So much for the 'no tension', she thought. Mike closed her eyes, trying to concentrate, trying to remember why Nick's idea was a bad one.

"I don't think it's going to work."

"Will you at least try?"

She knew she should say no. There was no doubt that there was at least one ulterior motive behind his plan, probably more. Not to mention everything that could go wrong. But a small part of her, someplace deep down where she kept her secrets, wanted to say yes. To take just this small slice of time, this little bit of make-believe, and make it hers. To pretend there was no bad history between them. To pretend things were the way they used to be.

Mike took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then nodded. "Okay, I'll try."

It was probably her imagination but she thought some of the tension left Nick at her words. His arms tightened around her once more and she let go of the hesitation holding her back, allowing herself to lean against him, to wrap her arms around his waist.

Music drifted around them as they swayed in each other's arms, not saying anything. She had been wrong, she realized. There was still tension between them, but not like she thought. This was something completely different, heat flaring to life with awareness—and with her body's reaction to the nearness of his. As close as she was to Nick, pressed against him, it was obvious he felt it as well. Her breath hitched in her chest as her pulse soared, awareness and excitement building along with apprehension. Nick's lips trailed a light path along her jaw to her temple. Mike closed her eyes and tilted her head, her mouth seeking his and finding it.

The kiss was tentative at first, slow and searching, innocent and inquisitive. Nick's mouth opened under hers and their tongues met. The kiss exploded, detonating the desire within her. She leaned against him, her arms moving up and wrapping tightly around his neck, her body seeking to get closer. Nick moved quickly, backing her against the wall, cupping her face in his hands while his tongue invaded her mouth, doing dangerous things to her mind and body.

And to her soul.

His body pressed closer to hers. Her hips arched against him, rubbing against the hard length of his erection as her hands reached under his shirt and moved up his chest. A groan broke free from her, only to be swallowed by Nick's mouth, still ravenous on hers, hot and wet. Frantic.

Mike broke free from the kiss with effort, trailing her lips along his jaw and down his throat, nipping. She pushed his shirt up, exposing his chest, and trailed hot kisses along his heated flesh, feeling the rapid beat of his heart under her lips. He reached up and lightly gripped her chin, tilting her head back to claim her lips again, opening her mouth under his. The kiss slowed, then stilled, and Nick finally pulled away with a soft moan.

"I think it's time for me to take you home," he said in a ragged whisper. Mike shook her head to clear it, not grasping the meaning of his words. Her body was still anchored between him and the wall, and there was no denying that Nick was effected by their physical contact. She tilted her hips slightly against his and let out a moan of frustration when he pulled away.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, at the heated desire burning in his gaze, and knew she hadn't heard him correctly. She leaned forward, only to have him pull away a little more. His thumb gently caressed her cheek as he stared down at her, leaving her confused. And frustrated.

"I need to take you home, Kayla," he repeated.

"Why? I don't—"

With a sigh, he stepped away, leaving her feeling cold and empty. She cursed her body's reaction to him, to the loss of him, even as she stared at him in bewilderment.

"Because I don't want you to think this is about sex. And if we keep this up, if we finish this, that's exactly what you're going to think."

Mike uttered a colorful curse in frustration. She ran her hands through her hair and clenched her jaw so tightly her back teeth were grinding. Did he really think he was doing either one of them any good by stopping? "God, this is so stupid! That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! First you get me to agree to this stupid game, then you start something, and now you're telling me to stop! You're not making any sense, Nick."