Authors: Ashley Johnson
Tags: #Romance, #Contemporary Fiction, #Contemporary, #Literature & Fiction
Chapter 32
Sam
The phone rang briefly pulling me away from any form of happiness I was having this morning. When I saw Brenda’s name once again, I knew I needed to answer it. She would keep calling until I did and Cole would keep pressing the issue. I agreed to meet with Brenda alone this first time. Apparently Dad and
she have been talking and although there was not a snowballs chance in hell they were working anything out, I suppose this was a good thing. I drew in a deep breath and began to count to fifteen, yes I know that’s a random number, and as I let it out, I made my way to find Cole. He stood in the kitchen about to eat an apple when I slid my arms around his waist. I could feel his body instantly relax under my touch. “Will you come with me?”
Please say yes. I can’t do this on my own. I need you.
There wasn’t a hint of hesitation in his voice when he told me yes. I probably would have thrown myself on the floor like a toddler kicking and screaming if he had told me no. He has no idea how much this means to me and how much I need him there.
I’m antsy the whole ride to Brenda’s. The fact that we passed Dad’s house didn’t even faze me. There was nothing that could be said or done to calm my nerves or so it seemed. Why did I agree to do this again? Right, because I like to do the right thing and I somehow believe in second chances. Cole pulled up and I was relieved to not see Dad’s vehicle. She had told me he wouldn’t be there but part of me believed they were playing me. As if I weren’t already tense, I couldn’t help but jump when Cole asked if I was ok. I practically shot out the roof of the truck. “Yeah babe. I’m fine. Thank you for coming. You have no idea how much this means to me. I’m just talking to Brenda today. I have to work my way up to talking to him, I know that must sound harsh but this is how it has to be.”
He leaned in pressing a kiss against my forehead, bringing me to a screeching calm. I needed this calm right now, especially when I looked towards the door and Brenda stood waiting for us to come inside. I griped Cole’s hand for dear life as we began to walk towards her. “Geez babe,” he quietly laughed. Oops, guess I was holding his hand a little harder than I needed to.
My grip loosened and then fell as I pulled Brenda in for a hug and introduced her to Cole. She gave a very approving smile as she looked him up and down before inviting us inside. I sat on the same couch I sat on every time I came to see her. The same couch that heard about Marsh and I breaking up. The same couch that heard about the black eye I endured. This time, there were no tears to be shed and I felt I could breathe easier. She handed us each a glass of sweet tea, I took a sip quickly to quench my thirst. My throat was suddenly dry from the stress of being here.
“Thank you for coming Samantha, you have no idea how much this means to your father and me.” Those eight little words keep popping up today: ‘You have no idea how much this means”. My eyes wanted to roll into the back of my head but I wouldn’t let them. Instead I plastered a smile to my face pretending to care to be there. Cole just sat patiently as Brenda continued to speak. “Your father called me a few weeks ago completely broken. I’ve never heard him sound like he did and I agreed to meet with him to talk. It took a lot of convincing on his part, it’s just not something I was willing to do. That’s why I understood your reasoning to avoid my phone calls. I would have avoided them too.”
“I’m sorry about that Brenda. I just, I didn’t know what to say or do. And I got mad at Cole when he told me he answered the phone. I never meant to ignore you, I know you meant well.”
She continued, “Your father has started going to anger management classes to try and help him. He wants to talk to you privately, in a few weeks he can bring anyone he’s hurt to his meeting to talk to them in person and he wants you and I to go. He wants to make things right. I know it doesn’t fix anything but it’s a start for him and a chance at healing. He told me everything, I know about you being arrested and I know this isn’t easy.”
The room feels like it’s closing in on me and the sudden emotion of sadness comes over me as I clasp my hand over my mouth and run for the door. I need air. Lots of fresh air. Why didn’t this happen before I left the house? Why was I getting so damn emotional over this too? Makes no damn sense. Maybe it’s because this is what I’ve wanted all along and now it’s finally happening. Wouldn’t that make these happy tears instead of sad ones? My thoughts are gone like ash in the wind when Cole’s voice flows like velvet through my ears.
“You ok? I know it’s not easy to hear that, it’s alright you hear me?” He grabs my hand in his and brings my knuckles to his mouth as he plants a kiss on them. Yeah, I definitely couldn’t have done this without him. My eyes focus on the branches on the trees. They focus on how intricate they are and the way they flow causing the green leaves to cascade the way they do. Trees don’t have feelings. They don’t know what it’s like to be hurt; it’s a tree for crying out loud. I’m drawn back to reality when his voice breaks into the thoughts I was now having on how white and fluffy the damn clouds were. “Sam?”
It’s now or never as I turn to really face him and stare into his eyes. Did I ever think I would find myself in this position? Hell no. Did I think I’d ever be with Cole? Nope. Was I really understanding everything that Brenda was telling me? Kinda hard not to get it. The fact that he’s here with me means more than he could possibly imagine.
“I know. I should uh get back inside. I didn’t mean to run out like that.” I didn’t let go of his hand as we walked back inside. I mumbled an apology to Brenda before making plans to finally meet with my dad. The nerves sitting inside are more than I feel I can handle and I’m ready to just go back home and crawl into bed. Tomorrow. That’s when I’m promising to meet with him. Brenda tells me she will get back with me with a time and place. My gut says I shouldn’t trust any of this but another part of me tells me that this is something I shouldn’t ignore. Life is too short. I never even knew my mother but had the blessing of having a wonderful father to call mine. So yeah, things happen and these past few months he was a totally different person, a monster even, but people can change I suppose.
I once was a young girl sitting on her dad’s lap while he read her some of her favorite books. I once was a young girl whose dad played baby dolls with her when he would get home from an exhausting day at work. I was once the apple of his eye, his pride and joy. Maybe he was stressed to the max with work. No excuses, I know. I just remember, like it was yesterday all the times we spent watching football with Brenda and well, you know who. Can he change? I’m not sure but I hope so. Will I ever move back home? Most likely not but to have our relationship again? I’d do anything. There were those moments before I was arrested when he did hold a decent conversation with me and then and even now it breaks my heart. I miss him. If this doesn’t work, then well I’m out of ideas and frankly I won’t give a damn anymore.
Chapter 33
Cole
We talk with her step mom a little longer before Sam begins to show signs she’s ready to go. Her full answers have decreased to single words like ‘yeah’ and ‘ok’.
Sitting still was proving to be a real chore no matter how firmly I held her hand in mine. If I could take this pain away from her I would. I don’t know how she’s honestly feeling inside. It’s refreshing to see how at peace she is with talking with her step mom. Their conversation flows easily until her dad gets brought up once again and then Sam tenses up and quickly changes the subject. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, she’s meeting with him and I told her no matter what I will be there for her. I won’t let her do that alone. I shoot a quick text to check on Wendy and within a minute Rocky let me know she is sleeping like she should be. Good. I was worried about her.
My phone vibrates with a text message from Trey. It worked for breaking the ice and helping make the escape Sam so greatly wanted to make. She just didn’t want to be the one to speak up and say anything.
Trey: Hey asshat, the fair is in town. Bring your ass down here.
The fair? The wheels begin turning in my head as I think about how good this can be. What better way to take Sam’s mind off everything? I respond quickly.
Me: Shut up. We’ll be there.
Sam can read my mind like no other. It’s kinda scary. The minute my phone is in my pocket, she raises her eyebrow at me trying to make me break but I am steady as a rock. I don’t give her the satisfaction. When she notices, she stands and proceeds to tell Brenda bye. Brenda hugs me telling me how thankful she is that I am in Sam’s life. What I really want to tell her is that she has no idea how thankful I am that Sam is in mine, but I don’t. I simply smile. Sam finally lets a breath out and begins to breathe normally once we are in the front yard making our way to my truck.
Like I’ve done it a million times before, I open the door letting her get in, not shutting it until I get a kiss. She seems scared still, probably wondering if she made the right decision. I know she did and I’m so proud of her. I pull her hand into mine wanting her to feel safe and a smile instantly spreads across her face. I love those beautiful blue eyes of hers so much.
“Now it’s my turn to ask. Will you go somewhere with me?”
She raises her eyebrow again like inside the house before we leave the driveway. “And just where are we going?”
“Just sit back and relax. You’ll see.”
“Wait.” She laughed. “I didn’t say yes.”
“Yes you did.” I smile driving in the direction of the fair that I’m almost positive she will love. And as I pay to park and her eyes catch the bright lights on the horizon, a certain fire lights beside them and she lets out a squeal. “What are you so happy about?”
“The fair?! Oh. My. Gosh. Cole this is freaking amazing!!”
She flew out the truck almost running towards the fair but I caught her arm pulling her into me holding her there. “Hey, you a little excited?”
“You have no idea!” She beamed as I led her inside the fair. The aroma of carnival food filled the air. Her eyes lit up when she noticed someone holding a funnel cake. Much to my dismay I bought one after trying to change her mind. We walked around eating it until a little boy ran past us accidentally bumping into her sending the sacred funnel cake flying through the air before it hit the ground. I don’t think the kid even noticed that happened, he didn’t come back. Sam just laughed it off and squeezed my hand as we continued to walk to a ticket booth. I’ve always been up for riding the craziest carnival rides. Flipping upside down doesn’t bother me.
“Cole,” She asked in the most angelic beautiful voice, “Can we ride the Ferris wheel?” How could I ever tell her no? I can’t. At all.
The line for the Ferris wheel was no where near as long as the line for the Ring of Fire or the Scrambler for that matter. The laugh I heard as we approached the line was not one to be mistaken. I’d heard it many times at Joe’s both drunk and sober on my way to being drunk. The blonde was here and she saw me. I can’t deny it because the man-eating grin she just flashed tried to tell me she would get what she wants by the end of the night and that is me. Hate to break it to her but she’s not getting me ever again. My hand finds the small of Sam’s back and instantly she’s pulled in closer to me with barely any room between us. I cup her chin and bring my lips to hers barely touching them to tease her before fully crushing our mouths together. She moans into my mouth as the kiss deepens. I hate to be possessive, but my point was made as the sound of laughter slowly faded away. Either it faded or I was so into the kiss that I wished her away. As I broke the kiss, Sam wore a goofy grin on her face as she asked, “What was that for?”
“I can’t kiss you?” I ask as I brush a strand of hair behind her ear. She’s perfect and everything I never want to be without ever again. “I just love you, I’m so proud of you for today.”
“I love you too.” She says. We inch closer in line and soon enough we are sitting in our own little car on the Ferris wheel. Sam rests her head on my chest as we go around in circles. The view of the city around us is breathtaking. Nothing in this world can ruin this moment. Nothing can take away this feeling in my stomach. This feeling that tells me she is everything I want and need. She’s the one who changed my whole world. The one who made me want to believe in love. The one who made me want it all. Nothing can take this away.
My hand reaches for hers, lacing our fingers together. Instantly, her head rests against my shoulder and her perfect scent climbs up nestling itself into my nose. She smells like heaven. She knows how I feel about her, I made that clear but I still feel like there’s so much I want to say to her. So many things I want to express but I don’t. I sit here in this little Ferris wheel car as we continue to circle around and around. For a brief moment, we’re stuck at the very top not moving. She squirms a little and I can feel her heart beat escalating. “You ok Sam?”
She closes her eyes continuing to bury her head into my shoulder. She won’t look up at me or acknowledge anything other than my voice. “Why’d we get stuck up here? Make it move, I’m ready to get off. I hate heights.”
“You’re safe babe. I’m here. We’ll move soon, I promise.” I kiss her hair pulling her in tighter to me until she begins to relax a little. A short minute later, we’re on the ground and our car is being opened. We step out hand in hand.
She’s smiling that infectious smile again as she leads me to some carnival game that I’m almost positive will drain all the cash out of my pocket. Lucky me, she just wanted me to pop a few balloons and only about thirty dollars later, she proudly held onto a giant pink teddy bear. Her smile faded briefly as she looked to her right. I’d recognize that guy anywhere. Ever since her first night, when I saw them talking I couldn’t help but hold a twinge of jealousy. Her expression turned cold for a minute, I was about to step in and ask if she was ok when Trey came running up holding a super sized corn dog in his hand.
“Sam don’t you wish Cole was this big?” Trey put the corn dog in front of his dick and started jumping around like a damn idiot. I rolled my eyes trying not to smart off, he meant well. He was a joker, I know this all too well.
“Trey man shut the fuck up.”
“You know Cole, when you react like that, it makes him think he knows what he’s talking about. Good thing I already know the truth.” Sam winked and damn I about lost it that was hot. Trey moved the corn dog to his mouth and took a big bite out of it. I could slap the shit out of him sometimes but what would this life be without Trey and his dumbass remarks.
“That’s my boy. Hung like a mule! Cole, hold this bear. It’s Sam and me on the ring of fire.”
Her blue eyes shot up in his direction. What he didn’t know but I did was the fact she was a little terrified of being stuck up high. My gaze stayed on the ride as it went through it’s typical round going fast and then slowing down to a dead stop at the very top before going back around again. No way in hell was she getting on that. She clung to the giant bear for dear life as she firmly told him no. He only pressed the issue two times before telling me to ride. I gave her a quick kiss as my best friend and I stood in line waiting.
“How’s your dads new job?” I inquired rather cautiously.
“It’s a job. It’s helping me out I know that for sure. Mom misses him during the day though. I don’t know how much more I can take of this, its hard man.”
Before we stepped onto the ride, I clapped my hand on his shoulder, “Everything will be ok. She appreciates everything you do, never forget that.”
“I know man, that’s what keeps me going. I met a girl, but shit it’s complicated.”
I raised my eyebrow making sure I just heard him right. Did my best friend who happens to be a man-whore just tell me he met a girl? “You met a girl? Am I hearing things?”
He laughed before changing his expression. “No you aren’t hearing things. I fucked it up though. We were getting ready to have sex and she told me she was a virgin. I couldn’t touch her. She deserves better than my fucked up self.”
“Hey don’t be so hard on yourself; what you did doesn’t make you a dick if that’s what you’re thinking. You didn’t take advantage of her even after she told you that. Have you talked to her since?”
“No she is avoiding me and I don’t know why but it’s driving me fucking nuts.”
“You turned her down after she said she was a virgin, I’m sure she was pretty damn embarrassed man. Give her time.” I had to laugh since I could see what I used to sound like with Sam. My best friend had it pretty bad over a girl. I wanted to pry a little more but the line moved and we stepped onto the ride getting ready to have our worlds literally turned upside down.
Sam stood by the exit waiting patiently. Her jaw was practically lying on the ground as we approached her. “I think I would have puked on that.”
“That could be hot, depending whether you’re into that sort of thing or not.”
Dammit Trey. Sam threw her head back laughing before retorting, “Yeah, no. Don’t you have some poor defenseless woman to prey on?”
I wanted to laugh, I wanted to have fun but I know what I saw just a moment ago. While Trey and I rode the Ring of Fire, her ex approached her and they seemed to have quite the conversation going. How convenient he waited until I wasn’t around but honestly, I guess I don’t blame him. Trey shoots back at Sam with some witty remark then walks off into the night and I’m alone with her wondering what the hell to even say.