One or Two Things I Learned About Love (10 page)

Farmer
John said business was definitely up when Ely dressed as the Vegetable Avenger. He wants Ely to do it again. Not every day but maybe once a week. So it’s something people talk about and look forward to. And tell their friends about. Ely wants me to do it with him. He has it all figured out. I just have to wear something green and glue some paper leaves onto a swimming cap and I’ll be the Vegetable Avenger’s trusty sidekick, Lethal Lettuce. I said I’ll think about it.

Connor’s started texting me every hour or so. Just
hi
or
thnkng bout u
or
i really hate coffee
or
boy do I wish u wr hr
. And sometimes he calls when he’s on his break. Especially if something funny happened. Every time my phone went, Ely said, “Geewillikers, I wonder who that could be.”

Maggie’s mom stopped by the stand today for tomatoes. And just happened to mention that she just happened to hear that I’m seeing someone. That’s exactly what she said, with a big smile: “So, Hildy, I hear you’re seeing someone.” (Oh, those jungle drums, they just never stop, do they? Day and night. Night and day. Boomboomboomboomboom.) But I wasn’t really annoyed. I was kind of pleased to be honest. I don’t usually do things people talk about. (Except stuff like the time I threw up in the middle of the third-grade Christmas play. Which wasn’t something I did really. It was something that happened.) I joked with Ely that maybe I should take an ad out in the
Redbank Observer
, you know, in case there’s anybody in town who hasn’t heard about me and Connor. Ely said I can save my money – he’s already posted it on Facebook. (If I didn’t know he hates Facebook, I would’ve thrown a tomato at him.) He wanted to know why Connor texts me so much. Ely says it’s as if he doesn’t want me to be by myself. I said Connor just likes to keep in touch, that’s all. Ely said he likes plums but he doesn’t eat one every ten minutes.

Broccoli Man called the stand to say that he couldn’t leave the house but he needed some things. This happens once a month or so. (I think of it as the stand’s period: annoying, inconvenient, but just the way things work.) Sometimes he can’t leave home because there are too many people outside or “the numbers are wrong”. Sometimes it’s because THEY are waiting for him or he doesn’t like the weather. I didn’t ask. There’s such a thing as too much information. So Ely gave me a ride home and we dropped off Broccoli Man’s order (12 oz string beans, 15 oz potatoes, 18 oz tomatoes, 18 oz squash, two bunches of spinach, one head of lettuce,
not iceberg, whatever you do!
). I had to go around the back and put everything through the cat flap. Then he passed out the money. You have to wonder what his neighbours think. Ely said they probably think he’s nuts.

More trauma and drama at Casa D’Angelo. The washing machine broke
again
. (It’s as if we live on a tape loop.) My mother said it was my father’s fault because he’s too cheap to buy a new one. My father said it was working dandy as candy after he fixed it last time it broke and that he suspects outside interference. That means one of us. Escaped to the Masiado’s to help Louie with the
Anniversary Waltz
. (That’s what he’s decided to call the
Love and Lawnmowing
movie about his folks.) Personally, I think it should be called the
Anniversary Tango
. The waltz is very formal and orderly, which the Masiados aren’t. Almost every clip has them waving their arms around and yelling. (No wonder Louie feels so at home with my family, right?) So far my favourite scene is when Mr Masiado is teaching Louie’s mom to drive. She backed out of the driveway and straight into the garbage can. Even though there isn’t any sound, I swear you can hear Mr Masiado shouting.

Louie said he heard I’m officially going out with What’s-his-name. I said it’s Connor. And it’s only semi-official. He said so are we going to meet him this week? Are you coming on Thursday? I said I’d talk to Connor and let him know. Louie said that made it sound pretty official to him.

When I got home there was a small, purple dinosaur (a Brachiosaurus if I’m not mistaken) hanging from the kitchen light by a string. So Dad found out why the washing machine broke again.

And three messages from Connor! Nomi wants to know why he texts me so much. I said because he’s unprecedented. She said he’s more like a haunting.

Blue
Eyeshadow Lady wanted to know who the handsome young man is that she saw me with the other night. So I got to say it out loud for the first time! “He’s my boyfriend.” Just saying it made me feel like my heart was going to pop. She said we make a really cute couple! (How awesome is that?) Then the Countess came for her five-a-day. She said she’d heard I have a beau. She said there’s nothing like young love. Ely said, “Unless you’re like Romeo and Juliet and it all ends in tears.” The Countess said, “Oh it all ends in tears anyway.” I didn’t like to ask.

Connor wanted to know why we call him Broccoli Man. I told him Farmer John named him. He’d come to the stand a few times after he’d been banned from the two big supermarkets and the wholefood store over in Calder, but he’d been OK. We thought he was normal. Well, pretty normal. And then one day he came by for broccoli and we didn’t have any. He clamped his hands to his ears and started rocking back and forth, chanting, “No! No! No!” He refused to leave. Ely had to go to the store and buy a head of broccoli and sneak it in. And then I explained that Blue Eyeshadow Lady always wears a lot of blue eyeshadow. And Green Pick-up Guy drives a green pick-up. And the Countess isn’t really a countess but when she first came to the stand she always wore a tiara. (Now she just wears it on special occasions.) Connor said he was almost sorry he asked.

We’re missing Movie Club again. Louie’s not going to be happy. Connor says it’s enough to be coming to supper with my family on Friday without having to deal with meeting all my friends in the same week. He’s only human. We’re going to have a Watching The Sun Set Night and chill instead.

Dad’s making Zelda help him with the deck as punishment for the washing machine. He’ll be sorry.

The Brachiosaurus is still hanging over the kitchen table.

The
sunset-watching was
so
immense! (I have seen the sun go down before, but not like this!) We walked up the beach till we were completely alone (except for the gulls and the bugs). We sat with our arms around each other, not talking, just being there in the moment (like yoga but without the exertion or the incense). I don’t think I’ve ever just sat and watched the sun set before like I was watching a movie. It was mystical. Really. (Connor says a sunrise is even better. It’s like watching the earth being born.) We made a wish on the first star. I wouldn’t tell him what I wished for because then it wouldn’t come true. Connor said he already got his wish. And then he kissed me! (If I’d been standing up I probably would’ve fallen over.)

Connor was worried about what he should bring to supper tomorrow. I said, “You.” He said you can’t go to someone’s house without bringing something. (How sweet is that?) Does my mother like flowers? Do my parents drink wine? His dad has a wine cellar, so he could bring a bottle of wine. I’ve never known anybody who has a wine cellar before. He said it’s more like a rack, but it’s a big one. Then he thought maybe he should bring something for Zelda. He wanted to know what she’s into. I said, “Trouble”. He said, “No really, Hildy. Drawing? Dancing? Computer games?” Zel’s actually really good at drawing, but she already has enough crayons, pencils and paints to start her own class. Then he wanted to know about my other sister. What’s Gus into? I said she’s incredibly fond of boys. Connor said it’s too bad his brother’s in Beijing right now or he could bring him.

I’ve never felt like this before. Like I’m really special. I figure it’s kind of like winning one of those talent shows or an Oscar or something. Or being a princess. Nomi doesn’t get it. (Now there’s a surprise. Let me pick myself up off the floor.) She says that if you think about it, feeling special because somebody says you’re great is no different to feeling lousy because someone tells you you’re stupid or your eyebrows are too thick or whatever. Winning a talent show doesn’t make you special, and some dork telling you that you’re disgusting doesn’t make you a horrible person. (Is she too much or what?) I said, “I don’t think you were cleaning the toilet when they were handing out the romance gene, Nome. I think you were cleaning out those big stables in Greek mythology. You know, like Hercules.” Nomi said, “You mean Augean Stables.” I said, “Probably with a toothbrush.”

Already put Mike on red alert for next week in case there’s another game on Thursday, but now Connor says it’s going to be Wednesday. Which means we can go to Movie Club!