One Step Away (A Bedford Falls Novel Book 1) (2 page)

“Unbelievable.” He scooted out of the booth,
sneering as he looked down at her. Then he turned to Alexander.
“Good luck with this one. You’re going to need it.” He strode away
from the booth, shaking his head in frustration.

To the unobservant eye, the guy looked angry
and impatient, but since Alexander had developed a keen eye for
body language in order to recognize anything behind the virtual
cloak that Marisa wore at all times to hide her feelings, he also
saw sorrow in the man’s eyes along with a bit of lost hope.
Alexander identified with both feelings. When it came to Marisa,
he’d spent quite a few lonely nights suffering both of those
unwelcome sensations with no clue how to end the torment.

As he slipped into the booth beside her,
Marisa reached across the table and took his hands in hers. “I’m
sorry about calling you again,” she said with warmth in her voice.
She lowered her gaze, deep in concentration. “I feel stupid for
needing your help. Like I’m some kind of drama queen on reality
TV.”

She tightened her grasp around his knuckles
then released him and met his expression again. “I went out with
Rudy because my hair stylist suggested it, and she’s such a nice
person.” Marisa shrugged with little enthusiasm. “I wanted it to
work out, but we just didn’t have much in common. And I hung on
longer than I should have because I didn’t want to disappoint my
stylist. It’s ridiculous, I know. But she’s such a sweet person. I
didn’t want to let her down.”

Marisa spent a few seconds mired in
despondency before her face brightened. “Oh, hey, guess what?” She
retrieved two tickets from her purse and, with a beaming smile,
placed them on the table between them. “These are for you and your
dad.”

Alexander stared at tickets to a Chicago
Bears game two months from now. Earlier this week, Marisa had won
them from a local radio station giveaway.

“But you and Kelsey were planning to go. She
was really looking forward to it.”

Marisa’s expression turned sympathetic. “But
the Bears are the only thing you two really talk about. It’s the
only time you two bond.”

“But Kelsey loves the Bears. Even more than
me. I couldn’t do that to her.”

“Well, when I suggested giving you and your
dad the tickets, she was all for it.”

He paused as another thought took hold of
him. “This isn’t because I just helped you, is it?”

The enthusiasm in Marisa’s expression
flattened. “I can’t believe you just said that.” She stared at him
as though doubting that he truly knew her.

The disappointment lining her face made him
question his assumption. “I’m sorry, it’s just—”

“I wanted you two to have fun. I know how
much you care about him. And even if you don’t see it, he loves
you. I just wanted you to see it in his company…I wanted to give
you a great memory to hold onto.”

He should have known that she wouldn’t have
selfish motives for gifting the tickets to him. It made a bulge
enter his throat. “Now I feel like a total asshole. I’m sorry. Me
and my dad, we just…” But as he thought about telling his father
that they’d see the Bears play at Soldier Field, a smile came to
his lips.

“I know,” she said with a flicker of pain
entering her voice. She pushed the tickets across the table to him.
“Please take them. It would mean a lot to me.”

He accepted the tickets and placed them in
his pocket. “Thank you.” His mood lifted. “I think we’ll actually
have a pretty great time.”

She lowered her gaze to the table. “I’ve got
to admit that, when I have a nasty breakup, I may exaggerate a
bit…in needing you to be here.” She looked off to the side. “It’s
selfish, I guess. But you make me feel better just by being here
with me. ”

Alexander didn’t know what to make of those
statements. On one hand, he was glad they had established such a
strong friendship. But on the other, he wished that connection had
developed into something more intimate.

Of course, Alexander hadn’t told her how he
really
felt. Doing so would cause irreparable damage to
their relationship. But each day, in every way, he showed her what
she couldn’t see: they were soul mates.

Whenever Marisa wanted to talk, no matter
how tired or irritable he might be at that moment, he locked down
those feelings and lent an ear. Alexander included her in family
game nights and thought of her first whenever a new blockbuster
played at the movie theater. They had traditions like visiting the
Chicago Botanic Gardens each spring, talking on the phone while
providing their own commentary during their favorite television
shows, and seeing the Cubs play every opening day at Wrigley
Field.

Alexander turned to her for advice on
everything from clothes and career opportunities to exercise and
women, the latter of which she always offered her undivided
attention and, with the utmost exuberance, presented various
opinions to help him make the best first impression.

In those instances, he’d always hoped that
Marisa would get a little jealous. But she was always so excited
for him and spent a lot of time and energy trying to help him land
a woman that he’d
ordinarily
have asked out – if he hadn’t
been in love with Marisa.

Nevertheless, if Alexander even suggested
the possibility of something more than a deep friendship, if he
mentioned how she consumed his thoughts and desires, all of those
heartfelt, late-night conversations and treasured rituals would
collapse with all the power and fury of a star going supernova.

Now, Marisa sat back in the booth, peering
through the plate glass window, watching her ex walk down the
street. “Why is it so hard?”

“Wow, already flirting with me? You sure
move fast.”

A flicker of a smile indicated that she
approved of the dirty joke. “Dating is so…exhausting. It’s getting
tougher to smile and actually mean it. Constantly looking and
hoping and praying.”

“Calling in favors from the Almighty, are
you?”

“I’m serious.” But once again, she couldn’t
hide a little grin.

Marisa had dated plenty of bad boys: rock
musicians, professional athletes, and actors. But she also held out
hope for a high percentage of successful lawyers, stockbrokers,
doctors, and bankers. In the time they’ve known each other, she
hadn’t dated any of them for more than three months.

Although she never explained why things
didn’t work out with any of those men, Alexander figured she was
looking for a bad boy who was loyal, trustworthy, intimate, and
affectionate. She didn’t seem to realize that if she found a bad
boy with those characteristics, he probably wouldn’t be…a bad
boy.

“Why can’t I just find a nice guy?”

“Have you tried eBay?”

“A nice guy with a sense of humor. A
gentleman who knows how to treat a lady. That’s not asking too
much, is it?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because there
aren’t any of those around.”

Her failure to acknowledge that he possessed
those same qualities felt like she’d just kicked him in the gut.
And yet, he didn’t blame her for overlooking his better attributes;
he blamed himself. She’d placed him in the friend zone for a
reason. He just didn’t know why. What had he said? What had he
done? Where had he gone wrong?

Marisa looked down at her blouse, an exotic
experiment of purple swirls, navy blue dots, and gray splotches
that would have made Jackson Pollock jealous. “Is there something
wrong with me?”

Alexander just stared at her.

“Why do I always attract jerks?”

“Four times.”

She shook her head, puzzled.

“That’s how many times I’ve gotten rid of
guys who wouldn’t take no for an answer. They all have something in
common: you. I’m not getting rid of another guy for you. And if you
want to stop attracting jerks, stop being attracted to them.”

She titled her head to the side, deep in
thought before looking into his eyes with new insight.

Alexander always found these temporary “lost
moments” both intriguing and maddening. He desperately wanted to
find out what she thought about: was she considering him in a new
light? If so, what was she thinking about, exactly? But all told,
he hated it when she analyzed her thoughts because she never
explained what distracted her.

“I don’t even know why I even care,” she
said. “Love is just a fantasy created to profit from naive
fools...like me.” Seeing Alexander about to object, she said,
“Valentine’s Day: you have Hallmark cards, which require paper,
envelopes, stores to sell them and post offices to deliver these
cards. Plus the chocolates, flowers, candy…all just another excuse
for businesses to sell their stuff. And don’t get me started on
Sweetest Day.”

“Right, we should have Saddest Day. Women of
all ages could sit in a big circle and go around the room, bashing
men for not being nice, good-looking, and having a sense of humor
or a well-paying job. Oh, wait. That was in a movie:
Jerry
Maguire
.”

“See? You buy into it. It’s just a fairy
tale.”

Many women loved the part at the end of that
movie where Tom Cruise admits his love for Renee Zellweger, but
Alexander always enjoyed the part in the middle of the film when
their characters meet for their first date. From opposite ends of
the street, they simply smiled at each other. That single moment,
when both characters tossed aside their cynicism and opened their
hearts to the possibility of what the future may hold, was in his
opinion the most romantic scene in the movie. More than anything,
Alexander wanted to experience that feeling. And he held out hope
that one day he’d live out his own version of that special
moment.

“Of course it’s true,” he said. “Romance
like that happens every day. We just don’t see it. Where do you
think those stories come from?”

“Some guy who never got the girl, that’s
who. He uses a story to get the girl because he couldn’t get her in
real life.”

“Only he did. Cameron Crowe, that movie’s
writer and director, is married to Nancy Wilson from the rock group
Heart. And she’s better looking than him, so…”

“Of course you’d think that. You’re a guy.
No guy will ever admit that another guy is hot.”

“George Clooney. Brad Pitt. Matt Damon.”

“The cast of
Ocean’s Eleven
? Really?
Soon you’ll be talking Elliott Gould and Carl Reiner…although Andy
Garcia: yummy.”

Her remark made him envision Marisa wearing
one of those outfits erotic hotel maids wore (in the movies) while
clutching a black wiry duster. Alexander found himself getting
stiff. The response startled him: most often, when he caught sight
of her, he wanted to feel her in his arms and plunge his face into
her lily-scented hair.

“Let’s take weddings,” she said. “Total
racket. Flowers costing hundreds of dollars? Thousands for a
wedding dress you only wear once? Seventy-five dollars a plate for
chicken, potatoes, and broccoli? Don’t get me started.”

“You’re right. Romance is for idiots. When I
take out a woman, I meet her at a restaurant, shovel some grub down
her throat, and say, ‘so how many dates before you put out?’”

She chuckled. “What woman wouldn’t find that
romantic?”

“Maybe that’s too forward. It could explain
why they don’t return my calls after a first date.” Over the years,
so many women had ignored his calls that Alexander had never
actually experienced a long-term relationship, unless you
considered one month a long time.

Even then, that woman had blown him off for
another guy. A couple weeks later, after the guy dumped her, she
tried warming up to Alexander again.

But by rejecting him, she’d shown him her
true character, and he had no interest in committing to someone who
couldn’t commit to him. Besides, if she preferred someone who
didn’t respect her after sleeping with her, then what did that say
about her? And if Alexander took her back, what would that say
about him?

Marisa reached across the table and rested
her palms over his left hand again. “One day, a good woman will
come to her senses and take your call.”

He looked away from her fond expression. It
drudged up too much pain. Too much sorrow. He withdrew his hand
from hers, disinterested in another friendly gesture. It meant a
lot that Marisa wanted to comfort him by reaching out. And it
provided evidence that, deep down, she didn’t really believe her
own comments about romance.

“We should get back to work,” he said.
“Lunch break is almost over.”

“What’s wrong?” she asked, sitting back
against the booth cushions with a playful smile. “Not prepared for
the big interview?”

Marisa referred to the Assistant Director
position that their Library Director, Lance Albrecht, had already
spent several weeks trying to fill. He planned to interview both
Alexander and Marisa this afternoon.

It would probably shock Marisa to learn that
Alexander didn’t have much interest in the position. While the
promotion would increase his salary by over $15,000 per year and
give him a more substantial reputation among his peers, the job
wouldn’t allow him much of an opportunity to learn from their
director, who didn’t share the more challenging administrative
tasks and didn’t mentor the person who worked most closely with
him. For these reasons, after a few weeks of deep contemplation,
Alexander had interviewed last week for the Library Director
position at the Vista Heights Public Library.

Since the Vista Heights community consisted
of homeowners in the lower economic sphere and the position came
with a salary that would equal that of the Assistant Director slot
at the Bedford Falls Public Library, their Board of Trustees had
thus far failed to hire a candidate for the job.

Many candidates who might otherwise jump at
the chance to take the director spot at Vista Heights had instead
interviewed for the Assistant Director position at Bedford Falls
because, over the last ten years, numerous library journals had
consistently recognized their library as one of the best in the
country.