Other Side of the Wall (17 page)

She
joined me at the counter again and gave me her motherly look of love as she
patted my cheek. “I can see you love him and that he loves you, but what about
the other love in his life?”

“He
told me last night that his conflict didn’t come from him loving her more than
me, it was the other way around and he felt guilty about that. His counselor
has been helping him work through his feelings and has helped him see that
perhaps he didn’t have the healthiest relationship with Jenna, and he’s coming
to terms with it.”

She
still looked concerned.

“Momma,
I promise I’m not just jumping in with my eyes closed and hoping for the best.
And I’m not going anywhere for a while. I still plan on selling my house.
Please, Momma, I need your support.”

She
got teary eyed and hugged me tight. “Ava Mae, you always have my support. And
for what it’s worth, your daddy and I really like Scott, but you’re our girl
and we will always worry about you.”

“I
know, Momma, and I love you both.”

The
only break I took during the day was to talk to Myrna; to say she was ecstatic
was the world’s biggest understatement, and I wasn’t only talking about the
impending arrival in July. My momma got a kick out of listening to our
conversation. She could hear Myrna loud and clear. I had a feeling that someday
they would be good friends.

The
rest of the day was spent in hyper drive. I decided that I wouldn’t be carrying
on this particular tradition. I wanted to have a more relaxed Christmas season.
By the way Scott looked when he came in for the night, I thought he would
agree. But as tired as the men were, they helped us in the kitchen until nine
o’clock when my Daddy was at the end of his rope. “Enough,” he called out.

We
were all grateful, even my momma, who just needed someone to tell her to stop.
We busted out the ice cream and sat at the table, each with a spoon in hand. We
didn’t even bother dishing it out. It didn’t take the five of us long to
demolish the half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The ice cream definitely hit
the spot, but the atmosphere in which it was shared was simply divine. I loved
watching my family and Scott be at ease with each other. Even Tucker was
playing nice. Scott just naturally seemed to fit in. I knew he would, that’s why
I had so wanted him to come home with me. And now here he was.

We
were all tired, but Scott said he was ready for that walk on the beach. His
feet hadn’t hit the sand since his arrival. It almost seemed like a crime, so
we quickly said our goodnights to my overly watchful and protective parents,
and we ran to my place where I could grab a jacket and a couple of blankets.

As
soon as we hit the beach, Scott picked me up and kissed me without the worry of
being seen by my parents. I couldn’t believe at our age we still had to worry
about that sort of thing, but my parents were who they were. After several
minutes of blissful, sigh-worthy kissing, he let me go. “I think we should
spend more time on the beach.”

“I
agree.”

He
took my hand and we walked for several minutes, not saying a word. It was
perfect. The sky was clear and the moon and stars seemed to be shining brightly
just for us. We picked a spot a good distance from the water and set out a
blanket and settled ourselves on the beach, wrapped up in the additional
blanket. It was cold after all, but Scott had a way of keeping me toasty warm.

After
another long, slow kiss, I settled in front of Scott with my head against his
chest as we watched the ocean waves marry with the shoreline. It was heavenly. And
just when I thought it couldn’t get better…

“I
have an early Christmas gift for you,” Scott announced.

I
turned my head up toward him.

“You
do?”

He
kissed me quickly once on the lips. “I do.”

He
asked me to turn around, sit in front of him, face him, and close my eyes. I
obeyed with a big smile on my face.

As
I sat patiently he gave more instructions. “Ok, before you open your eyes, I
just want you to know this isn’t what you think it is. Not that I don’t want it
to be someday, but just hear me out before you say anything, ok?”

He
definitely had my curiosity piqued, and to be honest, I was a little worried. “Ok,”
I said cautiously.

“Remember,
don’t say anything until I explain. Ok. Open your eyes.”

There
in front of me was a smiling, albeit nervous, Scott holding between his finger
and his thumb a beautiful diamond solitaire ring. To say I was stunned was
putting it mildly. I forgot I promised not say anything in my shock.

“Scott…”

He
smiled bigger and shook his head no as a reminder. How he expected me not to
say something under the circumstances, I couldn’t understand. I wasn’t ready
for this. He said we would take it slow, but yet there he sat with what looked
like a beautiful and expensive diamond engagement ring. And he looked so
sincere and happy, it caused immediate conflicting emotions.

“Ava,
a month ago I crazily let you walk out of my life and I made you think that we
never had a committed relationship. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I
know I said we would take it slow, and we will, but I never want you to doubt
how I feel about you. I want you to know that I’m committed to you and, when
the time is right, I want to be committed to you forever. So this ring is, for
lack of a better term, a promise ring, even though we may be too old for that
sort of thing. But I promise I love you and I promise when the time is right I
will ask you to be my wife, but for now, will you exclusively be mine?”

The
tears steadily ran down my cheeks during his little spiel, and it was a
beautiful spiel all the way to the end. Even though it was cheesy, I loved it.
“I love you and yes.” I responded without a moment’s hesitation.

He
breathed a sigh of relief like he thought I would say no. He smiled and then
asked me for my hand. I didn’t know which hand to give him, but he just gently
picked up my left hand and slid the ring carefully on my ring finger.

I
looked at him questioningly. “I thought this wasn’t an engagement ring?”

He
smiled, “It’s not, this is a she’s taken ring.”

“So
what do I tell people when they ask? Because believe me, they’re going to ask.”

He
leaned forward and kissed me and then looked lovingly in my eyes. “Tell them
there’s a marine biologist in Chicago that’s deeply and madly in love with you,
but he has a few issues he’s ironing out and when he knows he’s ready to be the
husband you deserve, he will be coming back here for you.”

His
words increased the tear production. “Promise?”

He
took me in his arms and held me tight. “I promise, Ava.”

As
we talked into the night I told him he didn’t have to buy such an expensive
ring, but he said he didn’t want me to ever doubt again how he felt about me.
He told me he had talked to my dad and he was ok with the ring as long as he
didn’t ask me to move to Chicago or marry him, yet. As much as we didn’t like
it, we both agreed me staying here was for the best right now, and Scott even
said if I wanted, he would move here when we eventually got married. I could
tell that was a hard concession for him. I told him we would cross that bridge
when we came to it, but I loved that he was willing to.

As
I admired my ring in the moonlight, I kept thinking,
if this was the promise
ring, what would the engagement ring look like?
It was absolutely perfect.
By far the best Christmas present I had ever received. Scott frequently held up
my hand and kissed it. He seemed proud that I wore his ring. As we walked back,
he held that hand as well. It was quite sweet.

He
kissed me goodnight before we walked through the gate. He was afraid of the
watchful glances from the wardens. I admired his gift one more time and told
him thank you and that I loved it and him more than words could express. He
said that was the best gift he could ask for. I loved his sincerity.

I
went to bed that night not feeling tired at all, even though I had spent my day
on my feet, working furiously. I don’t know how many times I looked at my ring.
Then, like a girl, I kept saying things out loud like, “Ava Langston” or “Mrs.
Scott Langston.” I knew it wasn’t an engagement ring, but he did promise we
would get married, and I thought “Ava Langston” sounded fabulous.

Chapter 18

I
got up Christmas Eve morning and hoped I could live off the adrenaline rush of
the previous night, because I knew this was going to be a very long day. But on
the upside, I had a beautiful diamond ring and the man that was attached to it,
so even if I died of exhaustion, I’d die happy.

I
think I floated into the main house, and I must have had one of those looks on
my face. You know those “I’m so in love and isn’t the world so perfect” looks.
It was only my momma in the kitchen when I walked in, and she kind of just
shook her head and smiled at me. She asked to see the ring. Apparently my daddy
had told her. I immediately walked over with my hand out. We both agreed he had
excellent taste.

She
hugged me tight. “I love you, Ava Mae, but seriously, honey, there is no time
for love today.”

I
laughed. “Can I at least eat first?”

“Your
daddy and Scott left twenty minutes ago to get breakfast and some more flowers for
the table arrangements, they should be back soon.”

That
bit of information surprised me. “Well they’re certainly getting chummy, or is daddy
trying to hide the evidence.”

My
momma gave me her “we don’t have time for jokes today either” look. “Your daddy
has been very impressed by Scott, he likes him and wants to spend as much time
as he can getting to know him better. He feels he should have done that with
Peter.”

“That
makes me happy.”

My
momma began to immediately ignore me as she poured over her list of things that
needed to be accomplished. She had everything perfectly timed and planned. I
was happy to help, but I couldn’t help but wish for tomorrow to be here so
maybe we could all relax and just enjoy each other’s company. Sure, the party
would be fun like it was every year, but I found I was in the mood for an
intimate gathering of just family and future family.

My
daddy and Scott arrived bearing gifts of bagels, freshly squeezed orange juice,
and a kiss for their respective partners.

I
looked over to my parents. “Momma says there’s no time for love today, Daddy.”

He
kissed my momma once more. “I beg to differ.” I think my momma may have
blushed.

“I’m
going to go with your dad on this.” Scott whispered in my ear.

I
completely agreed with him.

My
daddy joined us at the table. “Speaking of love, let me see the ring.”

I
happily showed it off. My daddy knew a thing or two about diamonds. He had
bought several throughout the years for my momma. My daddy was impressed as
well. But my momma was not impressed with all our talking and, apparently,
eating. We all finished eating quickly and got to work.

The
party began at six o’clock that evening, and by five, everything looked perfect;
I was just ready for it to be over. My momma had sent us all to change into
more appropriate attire to meet our guests that would be arriving soon. The
thought of putting on heels was making my feet cry for mercy, but I kept
telling myself it was just for a few hours. I quickly jumped in the shower, but
I didn’t wash my hair. I slipped into my new black dress that hugged me quite
nicely. I think my feet did cry when I put on my black stiletto heels, but this
was my offering to the fashion gods. I fixed and added some volume to my hair
and touched up my make-up.

Scott
sweetly came to get me at my door like this was a date. It was the first time I
had gotten to really see him all day. As soon as I opened the door, I pulled
him in and threw my arms around his neck and kissed him fervently. He was very
happy with the reception and welcomed it whole heartedly.

“Thank
you for putting up with my family’s craziness.”

He
pulled me tighter. “Thank you for looking amazing.” Then he teased, or maybe
not, “You’re wearing your ring, right?”

I
held it out for him. He kissed my hand and I smiled.

I
took a huge breath. “I guess we better go.”

He
kissed me once more. “If not, I have a feeling they’ll come looking for us.”

He
took my hand and we walked back up to the main house together, just in time for
the first guests to arrive. I had stayed pretty low-key since my return, so
everyone that came in seemed to come straight my direction, and of course, they
were all interested in the man that held my hand and my heart. The last time I had
seen these people, I was Ava Russo and another man stood at my side. I thought
I knew what love was then, but come to find out I had a lot to learn, and I
think I still did. I was happy to be receiving that education with Scott this
go around.

I
thought I might feel awkward since my marriage didn’t last long, and here I was
with someone else, wearing his ring, but I didn’t at all. I’m sure some of our
guests were probably judging me, but as odd as it may be, Peter was my gateway
to Scott. It wasn’t my route of choice, to be sure, but it was the way it had
to be. Scott was gracious and never left my side, even when my crazy cousins
showed up and made some asinine remarks about me going through men. I always
thought my cousin Marian was jealous of me for some reason, but her malice was
unwarranted.

Scott
protectively wrapped his arm around me. “Well, I’m so glad she finally made it
to me.” 

That
quieted her and her sister Sadie up. After that, we decided to check to see if
my momma needed anything. We refreshed the punch bowls for her and grabbed
something to eat ourselves. Tucker joined us while we ate, and we all decided
that we were never hosting parties like this during the holidays, or any other
time of the year for that matter. Even though it only lasted for a few brief
moments, I loved sitting there with my brother and Scott and laughing like old
friends. That was my Christmas miracle.

The
party was going off without a hitch, just like my momma had planned. Toward the
close of the evening my daddy always gave a Christmas toast as a thank you to
all our friends and the community. It was also his opportunity to publicly
announce how much he still loved my momma. I think she cried every year, and
this year was no exception. I cried, too, as he made special mention of my
return and the new addition to our family. And we all laughed when he called
Tucker his sweet boy and Tucker shouted out, “Finally!”

It
was a wonderful evening, but when nine o’clock rolled around and most of our
guests were just about gone, I kicked off my heels and took a deep sigh. Scott
hugged me tightly and I instantly felt better as I sank into him, but I also
felt like I didn’t want to move, which was not good as we had hours of clean up
ahead of us. Thankfully, some of my parent’s friends took pity on us, and they
stayed and helped us. In fact, so many stayed that it didn’t take as long as I
imagined or dreaded.

When
all of our company left, we all got in our new red pajamas and met in the
family room. Tucker was staying the night, and I was staying in the main house
too. My daddy, ever since we were little, read Luke chapter two from the Bible
to us before we went to bed on Christmas Eve. When we were little, he would
also read,
Twas the Night Before Christmas,
but that seemed like forever
ago. I couldn’t imagine being any happier as I found myself in Scott’s arms,
surrounded by the people I loved most, as my daddy read those sacred words. It
was the best Christmas yet.

As
everyone retired for a long winter’s nap, Scott and I stayed put on the couch.
I could tell my daddy was hesitant to leave us there, but my momma drug him off
to bed. As soon as everyone left, Scott turned to me. “Let me see your feet.” He
then proceeded to give me the best foot massage ever.

After
several blissful minutes, I looked over to him. “Are you doing ok?”

He
looked at me funny. “Of course, why?

“Well
it is your first Christmas without your wife.” It was hard for me to say it,
but I knew I should, and I needed to face that reality. We had both been
married before and he had loved his wife.

He
motioned for me to come closer. I didn’t need any convincing. I moved back over
to him and he pulled me on his lap. He looked lovingly at me. “Ava, thank you.
I know this is hard for you and I know I’ve made it more difficult. But to
answer your question, honestly, Jenna wasn’t really into Christmas and it
caused a lot of problems between me and my family. So, I admit, this year it
has been nice to not have to deal with the conflict of the past few years.” He
looked around. “She would have definitely not liked your family’s idea of
Christmas.”

I
touched his face. “But do you?”

He
reached up and grabbed my hand and kissed it. “Very much.”

I
leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes. “You know I’m here if
you need to talk and I’ll try my best not to get jealous.”

He
kissed my head and chuckled a little. “Ava, you don’t have anything to be
jealous of.”

Just
then the clock struck midnight. “Merry Christmas,” Scott said quietly.

“Merry
Christmas, Scott. I love you.”

He
rubbed my arms. “Do you remember that morning after that huge pile-up and you
came to my door?”

I
shook my head yes. That was the weekend we became more than friends.

“As
I held you in my arms and you said my name as you slept?”

I
guess I really had said his name, I thought he was just teasing me.

“I
knew then I was falling in love with you and so I took off my wedding ring.”

I
snuggled in closer if that was possible and sleepily sighed.

“I
love you, Ava.”

I
drifted off to sleep to that wonderful sentiment. I was awakened a few hours
later to Scott lightly kissing my lips. “I better go upstairs, I would hate for
there to be bloodshed on Christmas morning.”

“I
think we should live dangerously,” I muttered half asleep.

He
laughed softly and then covered me up with a quilt. I guess he didn’t agree. I
was so exhausted though, I fell right back asleep until the late morning. Gone were
the days when Tucker and I would get up at the crack of dawn and rush down to
look at what Santa had brought us. I still remember calling for our parents to
hurry and get up so we could open the rest of our gifts. I felt bad now,
knowing how tired they must have been. But I admit I looked forward to someday
having my own children to wake me up at insanely early hours on Christmas
morning.

My
parents came down first, and my momma looked gorgeous. She had definitely
showered and done her hair and make-up. She always had to look good for the
photos that were inevitably taken on Christmas morning. I could tell my daddy
was relieved to find me alone on the couch. Honestly, it was comical. Both my
parents joined me on the couch, and I felt like a little girl again as I leaned
my head against my daddy’s shoulder. We talked about the party the night before,
and it felt good just to relax this morning. Eventually Scott and Tucker made their
way down. My daddy kindly gave his spot to Scott. In a way, it was symbolic,
and I think both of the men in my life recognized it as such.

We
decided to eat first before opening presents. I offered to make breakfast; my momma
had out-done herself, and even though she looked fabulous as usual, I could
tell she was tired. Surprisingly, she took me up on my offer. Scott offered to
help, and there was no way I was turning him down. As soon as we reached the
kitchen, he picked me up and kissed me.
Merry Christmas to me,
I
thought.

As
we made French toast, eggs, and bacon, the Langston’s called; we put them on
speaker phone so Scott and I could both talk to them. Myrna had me laughing as
usual. “Ava, sweetheart, Merry Christmas. So, when are you coming home? What’s
all this you’re taking it slowly? You love each other, what else is there to
know?”

Scott
and I both smiled at each other.

We
tried to appease her the best we could, but she was anxious for me to be a
Langston and for us to add to her posterity. We told her all in good time, but that
was nonsense to her. She said next Christmas she wanted us there, even my
family was invited. I wondered if my momma would give up her party.

After
our fun phone call, we served breakfast, and we all took our time eating. I
looked around and thought,
“How did this ever become my life?”
I was the
luckiest woman. They say you have to know the bad before you can truly
appreciate the good. All I could say was my life was good. And it got even better
as the day went on.

Scott
loved the gifts I had purchased. He already had a million ideas for new
presentations and how he would use the new projector and sound system. I
couldn’t wait to help him again with those. He also loved the heart rate
monitor, and he reminded me how I was still raising his heart rate on a regular
basis. He even liked the cheesy dolphin shirt. His gifts to me were re-gifts,
in a way. I opened the first box to find all the movies I had given back to
him, but this time there was a note attached to each with a memory of each one
of those nights. They ranged from the silly to sentimental. I began to think he
watched me more than any of those movies. In fact, I began to realize how much
he observed me all along. He also returned every other gift he had ever given
to me, including his house key. For my last gift, he gave me a photo album his mom
had helped him put together. There were pictures from my birthday, pumpkin
carving, Sunday dinners and so on. I absolutely loved it. I don’t ever remember
crying so much on Christmas morning. I had to tell my daddy and brother they
were happy tears. My momma already got it.