Our December (6 page)

Letters and Lessons

"Oooooh, Clark's got a leeettter!" A voice taunted and a hand jerked the notebook paper from Clark's grasp. Clark's face flushed red and he jumped up.

"Give it back! Give it back now!" Clark was desperate to get Alex's letter back, because Alex was in the habit of spilling his guts to Clark in those letters. The strapping jock turned to waggle his bottom at Clark.

"What's the matter, Clarkie, miss your fuck buddy? You need a new faggot to play with?"

Clark lunged after the letter but the boy held it high, out of reach. Clark guessed that was better than reading it but not as good as getting it back.

"You offering?" He smart-mouthed, but couldn't suppress a shudder at the idea of being intimate with Kasey.

"Ha ha, you wish, pansy boy," Kasey moved back a couple steps, trying to get enough space between him and Clark to read the letter.

"Sure, I wish, if I had a couple bags, one for your head and one for my barf." Clark shot back, and Kasey turned an impressive shade of purple.

His temper was legendary. Clark wasn't a little guy, but he was smaller than the school's star linebacker. His teasing Clark and Alex dated back to grade school. Clark wasn't intimidated. He didn't play organized sports, but he liked to play rough, and when he unexpectedly hit Kasey with a full body tackle, the other boy went down hard. Clark got the letter, cramming it into his pocket. When the staff pulled them apart, he didn't explain why he was fighting, because someone would want to see the letter. Clark didn't protest when Kasey said Clark started it. The assistant principal sent him home with two days suspension for unprovoked fighting in school. It was the third time since Alex left that he'd been in a fight. Alex being gay was an open secret among the kids. Everyone knew it, but no one talked about it. It just was. Clark didn't know why everyone accepted Alex just fine when he'd been there, but Kasey seemed intent on busting Clark's balls now that Alex was gone. Fielding so much gay bashing without anyone at his back wasn't much fun.

* * * *

Clark sat at the bar separating Jared's kitchen from his dining room, looking glum. Jared was fixing dinner for them, something he did most weekends and some nights. Clark was around a lot since making it his personal duty to keep Jared cheered up. Something he was failing miserably at that night.

"Talk about it?" Jared asked, stirring the spaghetti sauce. It was one meal Clark and he agreed on, so long as Jared left out the onions and mushrooms.

"God, no." Clark munched on celery he stole from the fridge, despite claiming eating celery had to be the gayest thing ever. "All mom did was talk, and then Dad, and then mom some more. They blame Alex's dad." Clark grinned around his celery.

Jared chuckled and shook his head. "What were you fighting about?" he asked, reaching for the garlic Clark had chopped for him and tossed it into the sauce.

"I don't even know. Kasey has some fixation on Alex being gay. Maybe it's suppressed attraction; I think Kasey wants me to fuck him."

Jared frowned. "Language, gutter-boy," he cautioned.

Clark rolled his eyes. "Yeah, fine, whatever. You sound more like a mom than my mom does."

He patted the pocket where Alex's letter rested, smoothed and folded, safe and sound. Alex was homesick, and he missed Clark, but missing Jared was about to undo him. Alex was coming home for Christmas and Clark was helping plan a surprise. He figured with him and Alex teamed up, Jared didn't have a chance. They had everything figured out. Jared thought Alex wouldn't be home for Christmas, the only thing left was for Clark to get Jared to throw a party Christmas day.

"What?" Lost in thought, Clark wasn't sure he heard Jared's last statement correctly.

"I said you have too much time on your hands. You need a job."

Clark made a face. "I don't need a job, pops has plenty." Clark pulled his wallet out, flashing some cash at Jared. He pulled out a card, "Plastic too."

Jared studied the full wallet. "Put that up, no one here is impressed.
You
need a job. It'll keep you out of trouble." Jared stirred the pasta and tested it, not quite finished. "We're working outside of town on some storage units. I'll pick you up after school tomorrow. Pay's ten bucks an hour and all the dirt you can carry."

Clark stared at him in disbelief. "Dirt?" he muttered.

"Plenty of it," Jared assured him "Wear jeans, boots, and bring some gloves. But for now, grab a couple plates out of the dishwasher and set the table.

Clark shuffled over to the dishwasher. "You used to be nice, and fun. Are you going to be nice again when Alex comes back to you?"

Jared strained the spaghetti. "Alex isn't 'coming back to me'. I'm sure he's got better fish to fry by now," Jared muttered.

Clark turned a level look on him. "If you believe that, you don't know Alex." He went to set the table.

New Rules

It was Clark's idea. Jared hadn't decided if he would congratulate him or choke him. Christmas hadn't been the best day for Jared. His visit with his mom was the highlight of his day and that had been hours ago. Now he was in the midst of the party Clark insisted was a good idea. Jared's work crew, grown to four full-time guys and Clark, were all single. When he took over the business, Jared had no choice but to downsize. His lack of experience and lack of credentials kept him from being able to fill his father's shoes. The experienced men had no trouble finding other work, the reputation of JD Construction created a high demand for those who previously worked there. Jared hired young men who could afford to live on what he could pay and dug in to rebuild.

"Dude, you're obligated to have a party," Clark told Jared, "You have to give one."

"They get a bonus, that's enough." He didn't add what was in his heart. No Alex, no party. He planned a nice Christmas night alone, curling up with some bad Sci-Fi movie and a lot of popcorn.

"Come on, it doesn't have to cost a lot. Have it at your house Christmas night. Everyone knows that Christmas day is okay, but Christmas night is
boring
. They can bring their girls, or their beer, or whatever."

Jared raised a brow, shoving Clark into a chair as he passed. "No beer for you, junior," he said.

Clark sprawled, pouting. "All the other dudes with old man friends get beer and all kinds of stuff," he grumbled.

Jared laughed. "Get a new old man friend," he suggested. "Want some hot chocolate?"

Clark perked up. "Yup. Do you have those little marshmallows? I like chocolate sprinkles." He followed Jared to the kitchen, taking his now familiar spot on one of the bar stools. He leaned on his elbows, watching Jared. Jared opened a box, pulled out an envelope, and tossed it at Clark. Clark snatched it out of the air.

"Have at it, teeny marshmallows included."

Clark made a face at the blue Swiss Miss package but got up to fetch his own cup for the microwave.

To Jared's surprise, all the guys showed up for the party. Two brought girl friends, and two were dating each other, which was news to Jared.

"I think there's a company policy against that," he muttered to Clark, watching them slow dance, nuzzling and kissing.

"Against being gay?" Clark gasped.

Jared slapped him on the back of his head. "Against employees hooking up," he said.

Clark glanced at the dancers. "What's that called? 'The anti-employee hook up clause'? Dude, that's just stupid, look at them. I think you're jealous."

Jared shook his head and went to check snack bowls. Clark was playing, but sometimes his teasing hit too close to home. Jared was leaning on the doorjamb leading into the hallway, watching the party, when a body pressed against his from behind, arms wrapping around his waist.

"Did you miss me?"

The breath was warm against his ear, a sensation that filled his dreams, but he'd never experienced. Alex slipped around in front of him and met Jared's look of shocked surprise with a grin that made Jared's knees weak.

"Alex!" Even in his moment of surprise he remembered his restraint. Jared reached out to tousle curls that had grown back into their full glory, instead of pulling Alex into the full body hug he really wanted. Jared cupped Alex's smooth cheek. He couldn't tear his eyes away. "I didn't know you were coming home."

Alex gave a half smile. "I wanted to surprise you," he said.

Clark was there, coming between them, wrapping his arms around their shoulders. "It's a surprise birthday party," he informed Jared, guiding them to stand in the middle of the room. "Alex is sixteen today, Jared, surprise! Oh! Look! Mistletoe!" His mission complete Clark went to flop back down into a chair.

Jared's gaze still fixed on Alex. "Sixteen, huh?" he said with a small smile, studying Alex, noting the many changes. The young man was taller and filling out. He looked more like the man he was close to becoming than the boy he had been. It was hard for Jared to keep his hands to himself. Alex took a step closer into Jared's personal space. Knowing he should take a step back, Jared stood frozen, unable to halt the erosion of his 'no touch' rule. He wanted Alex in his arms so much it was a physical ache.

"Sweet sixteen and never been kissed," Alex mourned, looking up at Jared with his best puppy eyes.

Jared snorted. "I remember a kiss," he whispered.

Alex blushed but didn't back away. "That one totally didn't count," he muttered. His eyes met Jared's, "It's legal to kiss me now."

Jared winced, legal according to the law. He wasn't sure if it was legal from the Jared Douglas point of view.

"Jared." Alex's voice was raw with need.

Closing the distance between them with a single step Jared pressed a kiss to Alex's cheek.

"Real kiss, real kiss," Clarke began to chant, and the others joined in, laughing.

Jared tangled his fingers with Alex's. "Shut up, jerks," he laughed, pulling Alex behind him, toward the backdoor. The backyard was a little bigger than the front and dominated by a huge old elm tree. Black skeletal limbs were stark against the moonlit sky. There were a few strands of twinkling white lights in the lower branches. The snow filtering through the branches decorated their hair and shoulders. Stopping under the tree they huddled together, using the trunk to block the wind. Jared cupped Alex's face, caressing his cheek with a rough thumb. The skin baby smooth under his touch.

"Your hands are cold," Alex complained.

"You don't care," Jared murmured. Leaning forward their lips brushed briefly. Stilling under his touch, Alex stared up at Jared, wide eyed. Jared trembled under Alex's intense regard.

"You're right." Reaching up Alex covered Jared's hand with his own.

"Do you know what's in this tree?" Jared asked.

"Snow? Lights?' Alex guessed with a laugh.

"Mistletoe. Lots of mistletoe."

Alex stared up into the shadowy branches. His earlier bravado deserting him, but when Jared leaned in to kiss him, Alex didn't pull away. Jared's mouth was gentle on Alex's, tasting and teasing his cold lips. Alex sighed, taking a tiny step closer. Giving in at last to his need to feel Alex in his arms, Jared drew Alex into a hug holding him close for the first time. His heart thundering in his chest, Jared buried his face in Alex's soft curls breathing his scent, something more precious to him than air. Alex nuzzled Jared's neck, threading his fingers through the silk of his hair. Making a soft sound of pleasure, Jared lifted Alex's face to his, their lips meeting in a heated kiss. After a long time, Jared pulled back to look at him.

"Happy birthday," he whispered, staring at Alex, his heart pounding hard against his ribs.

Jared's birthday wasn't until March. At twenty the difference between them was only four years. He couldn't keep rejecting Alex; he didn't have the heart for it. His love for the young man swelled his heart. Sixteen, the age of consent in their state, Alex was legally old enough to make his own decisions about sex. He was still so very young and Jared didn't trust himself to know where the line should be, what compromises to make.

"New rules?" Alex suggested.

Jared's heart melted, Alex knew him too well. "New rules. Sixteen year old rules, touching allowed above the waist with cuddling and kissing permissible upon occasion."

"Dude, guys don't cuddle," Alex protested laughing.

Raising a brow, Jared gave a one sided smile. "You don't think so?" he asked, bringing Alex closer.

Alex laughed, his eyes dancing. There were snowflakes caught in his lashes. Jared kissed them away. He'd never forget that moment, freshly kissed Alex with snow in his dark hair. Jared cuddled Alex against him; they kissed again slow and hot, tongues tangling. They broke apart breathless. Jared nuzzled Alex's cheek.

"No cuddling?" he asked his words whispered against Alex's skin.

"Maybe, just a little, if you don't tell Clark," Alex conceded. His hands fisting in Jared's shirt, he braved pressing a kiss to the corner of Jared's mouth.

Jared chuckled. "Okay,"

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart."

Shadowed in Love

The night of his thirtieth birthday found Alex leaning against the trunk of the oak tree watching the house. The lights he'd hung earlier in the month twinkled along the branches and snow fell in huge soft flakes. He wasn't there long before a curtain was pushed aside and the glass door slid open, letting light and the sounds of the party spill out into the night. Darkness fell once more and the sounds of merriment muffled when Jared closed the door. Alex watched his partner walking through the snow towards him; little more than a shadowy silhouette until he was close enough for the small twinkling lights to illuminate his face. Alex drank in the sight of him. Jared's expression was serious, this meeting under the tree in the snow as much a part of their Christmas tradition as the party inside. Alex didn't move, even when Jared stopped in front of him just out of reach.

"Happy Birthday, Alex," he said, a small smile quirking his lips.

Alex's lips curled into an answering smile. "Merry Christmas, Jared," he chuckled.

They met under this tree every year as the party was winding down. Clark would herd the guests out the front door and make sure the food was put away. That was part of the tradition as well, thankfully his wife didn't mind. Jared moved closer until their bodies almost touched. Alex watched him with large dark eyes.

"You've got snow in your hair," Jared said, moving raising his hand to brush the white flakes from the dark curls. Cupping Alex's cheek, he ran a thumb over Alex's full bottom lip.

"Your hands are cold," Alex whispered and turned his face into Jared's touch, savoring the rough feel of his fingers.

"You don't care," Jared's breath whispered against his cheek, a much softer caress than that of his fingers.

Alex's eyes fluttered closed, Jared was right, he didn't care. Jared's lips, when they brushed his, were also cold. Shuddering, Alex pressed against him and Jared backed him up against the tree. He clasped the trunk over Alex's head holding him pinned to the rough bark with his body. Jared's lips pressed Alex's more firmly and Alex sighed, parting his in a silent invitation. Jared obliged without hesitation, licking his way inside. There was nothing cold about the way their tongues tangled in the moist heat of Alex's mouth or the way Alex arched under Jared, eager for the feel of his lover's body against his.

"Jared," he panted into the kiss, his hands fisted in Jared's coat. He'd been thinking about this moment for days. The tree, the lights, the snow, and Jared. He was on edge and hungry for everything Jared's hard body promised. It was always like this for him. It was supposed to be a tender moment, a special time for them to remember how far they'd come from that night so long ago under a tree so much like this one. For Alex it just reminded him of everything he had, and how he never got tired of Jared's mouth on his, Jared's hands on his body. Fourteen years and Jared could still make him tremble with a glance.

"Please."

* * * *

Jared's fingers pressed hard against the tree, if he had the strength they would have sunk deep into its bark. He promised himself that this year Alex would get the tender words and soft kisses he liked so well, but as usual, Alex pushed him to the brink of his control and beyond. Jared pulled back looking down on him. The lights illuminated Alex's upturned face. The boy he had been could be seen in the lines of his face, but Jared didn't miss the boy. He adored the man Alex had grown into far too much for nonsense like that. A small smile tilted his lips.

"Thirty," he whispered, laughing when Alex grimaced.

"Death for a gay man," he muttered, burying his face in Jared's neck, licking and biting in an attempt to distract him from the teasing.

"I need a new twink. Mine's all worn out."

Jared's teasing laugh forced a grin from Alex his eyes narrowing. "Oh, you think I'm worn out?" he demanded as his hands gripped Jared's hips and he rubbed against him.

"I know it," he breathed into Alex's ear and then traced it with his tongue before he nipped the lobe with sharp teeth.

He felt Alex's answering bite on his jaw and a hard suction told him there'd be a small love bite to entertain Clark the next day. He grabbed a handful of Alex's curls jerking his head back. "Boy!" His mouth closed on Alex's pulse, it fluttered under his tongue. Moving his free hand between them Jared squeezed Alex's erection through his jeans. Alex moaned, pushing against his hand.

"Jared." Alex panted.

Jared couldn't resist the plea. His numb fingers fumbled with Alex's snap. "Hands are cold." he muttered.

Alex arched his throat under Jared's seeking mouth. "Don't care." When Jared's fingers brushed his bare stomach, Alex sucked in a shocked breath.

"Told you," Jared grumbled, not stopping until Alex's jeans were open and his strong hand was buried inside, wrapped around Alex's dick. The hard flesh was hot under his chilly touch.

Alex cried out. Jared didn't let him go, they'd come this far, he wasn't about to back out now. The snow fall was heavier. The flakes on Jared's neck melted and slid down his back. His feet were numb from the cold, but neither thing stopped him from stealing a final heated kiss from Alex's swollen lips before sinking to his knees and nuzzling his belly. Jared felt the hitch of Alex's breath in the flutter of his stomach. Alex let go of Jared's coat to tangle his fingers in his damp hair. Snow melted under Jared's body heat, soaking the knees of his jeans, but the only thing he was aware of was Alex's ragged breathing and the scent of his arousal.

Jared freed Alex from his boxers, briefly exposing the heated flesh to the freezing air before encasing it in his hot mouth. Alex's cry of pleasure was Jared's name. Jared swallowed Alex's cock, pulling another cry from him.

"Ah fuck, Jared" Alex howled into the night.

Jared intended to ignore the demands of his own cock until they were somewhere more hospitable, but Alex writhing and begging against the tree had Jared's hand moving to open his jeans before he even realized he was doing it. The ice cold of his hand wrapping round the engorged length of his cock stole his breath. Jared thought the cold might cost him his erection but lifting his eyes to watch Alex, the sight of his lover's head thrown against the wet bark, his beautiful throat arched and exposed combined with the friction of Jared's hand on his dick warmed things up before the ice could win. Still it
was
freezing. Jared didn't waste time with subtleties.

He sucked Alex hard, working him in all the ways he knew Alex liked best. Jared's efforts were well rewarded when Alex gasped and thrust forward, his cock swelling harder in Jared's mouth. Well versed in the signs of Alex's impending orgasm Jared breathed in deeply through his nose and was ready for the hot cum that shot from Alex's cock, filling his mouth and throat. Swallowing as well as he could around Alex's length, cum still leaked down his chin. Alex's orgasm had barely ended before he his hands fisted in Jared's coat, hauling him to his feet, switching their positions against the tree so swiftly it made Jared's head spin.

Alex didn't give Jared a breath to recover. His mouth chased Jared's, biting and licking his lips. He knocked Jared's hand away from his cock, wrapping it in his own. Alex stripped control from him, but Jared didn't care as long as Alex was stroking his dick with such brisk efficiency. Jared's hand cupped Alex's head, fingers buried in the snow-damp curls, bringing their mouths together. Alex jerked his head back, denying Jared. He bit Jared's bottom lip and sucked it hard, timing the flick of his wrist just right. Jared howled and thrust his hips, urging a faster pace.

Jared's breath quickened as Alex gave him exactly what he wanted. Sleet mixed with the snow and Jared pulled Alex close, encouraging him to burrow his face into the warmth of his neck. The wind picked up, but despite the freezing temperature heat remained trapped between them. Alex worked Jared's dick without pause, driving him closer to the edge. Jared pressed his face into Alex's hair, breathing his crisp, cold scent. Alex's thumb swept the head of Jared's cock at just the right moment. He stiffened, his back arching off the tree, and came with a shout. Hot cum coated Alex's hand but it cooled quickly, making them aware of the weather and how soaked they were with melting snow and ice.

"Geez, come on." Jared laughed, grabbing Alex by the hand. They ran through the snow toward their house and the warmth that waited just inside the door. Jared let them in, sliding the door closed behind them. Clark had turned off the lights when he left and only the subdued lighting of the tree broke the darkness. Music played softly in the background. They stared at one another in silence. Jared was so cold he ached and he couldn't feel his feet but he couldn't tear his eyes away from Alex's.

"Fourteen years," Alex said, awe coloring his voice. Jared pulled him into a hard hug and they turned together to stare out at the snowy night. Alex leaned into Jared, sung under his arm, as they stood in silence captured in the wonder of the moment. Outside the tree was a stark shadow relieved only by the twinkle of lights in the lowest branches. Somehow the tangle of shadow and light had come to represent the magic of their memories, the miracle of their present and their hopes for the future. Jared's hand cupped Alex's face. He leaned in to kiss him.

"Your hands are cold," Alex complained just before Jared's lips touched his.

"You don't care," Jared whispered.

And he was right.

THE END