Our Time (31 page)

Maddy was already at my side
clutching my hand and trying to uncurl my fingers and Ben looked like he was
ready to make his way back to the operating room with the way he kept eyeing
the door.

"Um, I'm not completely
sure. Dr. Harrison will be able to explain it to you when he comes out."

"Excuse me, I'm Dr. Benjamin
Moore. I was Jocelyn's oncologist before."

"Nice to meet you, Dr.
Moore," she said stiffly.

He didn't care that she was
trying to placate us and make us wait longer, he wasn't going to wait and I
thanked God for him because I was ready to climb over the desk and strangle her
for an explanation.

"I think it would be best if
I was able to speak with someone who knew what was going on. I could relay the
details to Mr. Carter here."

"Sir, I don't think
that's--"

"Listen, Grace, is it?"

She nodded.

"As you can see, Mr. Carter
is a lot stronger than I am, stronger than you, too. He isn't going to last
much longer if he doesn't get some kind of reassurance that his fiancé will be
coming out of the surgery to him and her daughter. So I suggest you let me get
some information from whoever I can so I can give him that reassurance before
he jumps over this desk."

Her mouth opened and closed,
searching for words, but unable to find them. Her eyes shifted back and forth
between the three of us until she made her decision. Then she nodded quickly
and scurried to the door that would lead Ben to the answers I needed.

He turned to me while she waited
for him to follow her and grasped my shoulder. "Sit tight for a few
minutes, Andrew. Take some deep breaths and remember that Olivia needs her
daddy, okay?"

I felt like I was being torn to
shreds, but I nodded anyway.

He disappeared through the door
behind nurse Grace, leaving my tiny little sister to hold me up as I made my
way to the closest chair.

"What am I going to do,
Maddy? I can't lose her."

"Shh, Drew. Don't you worry,
big brother. Jocelyn is tough and whatever happened back there is probably
going to end in her scolding the doctor for whatever mistake he made."

I didn't give her the smile she
was looking for and she pulled my head onto her shoulder while I tried to calm
my erratic heart.

"She has something to fight
for, Drew. Two somethings. Olivia and you. That's better than what she had
before, right?"

I sighed and shut my eyes
tightly, trying to conjure her image in my head.

"She has more time, Drew.
All of you do. You are going to be a family, you know that? My big brother is
going to have a family of his own." She let out a quiet sob and added,
"My big brother is going to love that woman with everything he is for the
rest of his life and he is going to make another baby with her and name it
Madison if it's a girl or Bennett if it's a boy because the baby will
have
to
be named after his favorite aunt, right?"

My lips twitched at the thought
of a little boy with his mother's brown eyes and dark hair. He would protect
Liv when they grew up and would help me chase away any boys that came calling
for her.

"She isn't going anywhere,
Drew."

I took a deep breath and lifted
my head off of her shoulder. "Thanks, Maddy."

She wrapped her arms around my
neck and hugged me tightly. "I only speak the truth."

I ignored the burn in the back of
my eyes and cleared my head of all the 'what ifs'. I would wait for Ben to tell
me what was happening before I fell apart.

Our time wasn't up yet.

Jocelyn

My head was pounding, my arms
were heavy, and my stomach felt like it was about to cave in.

Plus, I was freezing my ass off.

"I'll have the nurse give
you another dose of pain medication after your fiancé comes and sees you. From
what I hear, he is pretty anxious to see you, dear."

I smiled because I knew he was
absolutely right. He told me that Ben had been informed about the minor
complication the nurse had slipped to Andrew. He was able to remove the tumor
completely and in the process, by some miracle, found another piece beside it
that didn't show up in the imaging. He told me that tiny piece looked more
threatening than the rest of it and the lab results would let us know for sure.

I had been awake for the
procedure, following whatever instructions they gave me to make sure they
weren't destroying my brain. It was always a little unnerving to say the least.
They poked around my brain while I repeated the alphabet and moved certain body
parts.

It was over now.

He didn't think I would need any
chemo or radiation, but we would know for sure when I had some imaging and
blood work done.

I was hopeful. I'd had enough of
the nausea and I didn't want Andrew to have to go through that with me even
though I knew he would without hesitation.

Dr. Harrison smiled down at me
when I met his eyes again.

"I'm sorry. Did you say
something?" I asked, wondering if I had missed a question or another bit
of instruction.

"I asked if you had any
wedding plans set."

"Oh, no. Not yet."

His brow furrowed and his lips
pursed. "Why is that?"

For the second time since meeting
the man, I wondered why I felt the need to share my personal life with him.
"I wanted to wait until I was better."

"Well, you are better. So
get planning, yeah?"

I chuckled and winced because the
act put pressure on my head.

"Thank you."

"We'll see you soon,
Jocelyn."

He left the small recovery room
and shut the curtain behind him. I heard the nurses wandering back and forth,
chatting about different things, and laughing about others. I took a deep
breath and closed my eyes.

I was okay.

"Joss?"

My lips couldn't help but smile
wider than they had since I heard that voice ask me to marry him. I opened my
eyes and saw him standing there, his ocean blue eyes wide with a mix of concern
and relief, with my little girl in his arms and her head resting on his
shoulder, fast asleep. My family.

"Andrew."

Andrew

"Oh, Andrew! You look so
handsome!"

Maddy burst into the room and
nearly jumped into my arms.

"I'm so happy for you, big
brother. Jocelyn is going to faint when she sees you in this. Oh, just wait
until you see
her
. Gorgeous! And little Liv. Maybe you will be the one
to faint. God, I wish I had my video camera."

"Maddy! Calm down, you're
talking so fast I feel like I'm going to pass out
right now
."

She swiped a tissue across her
cheeks and caught the tears that had fallen. She was wearing a strapless blue
dress that stopped just below her knees. Jocelyn decided that the color
reminded her of my eyes and it was her absolute favorite.

"You look beautiful,
Maddy."

"I do don't I? Tyler's going
to forget all his worries about making a baby when he sees me in this."

"God, I don't want to hear
that!" I shook my head to get the image of my best friend and my little
sister out of my head. I would never get used to it. She walked over to the
white couch that ran along the outside wall of the dressing room. I looked in
the mirror again and smiled. I was wearing a tux for the second time in my
life, but this time I had no complaints. "How is she?" I asked.

"Nervous. She thinks she is
going to fall in those heels I got her," Maddy chuckled.

I didn't turn around, but looked
down at my feet, "Is she having second thoughts… about me?"

Maddy shot up and stood on her
tip toes to kiss my cheek, "Never."

The door opened and Tyler poked
his head in. "Hey, we are ready for--" His eyes stopped on Maddy and
his jaw dropped to the floor. "Holy shit!"

"Tyler! We are in a church.
No cursing for hell's sake," Maddy said and made her way over to him.
"Come on, Drew. Let's get you married."

"Yeah, hurry up, Andrew.
I've got things to do." Tyler grabbed Maddy's hand and yanked her out of
the room, grabbing her butt in the process.

"Come on, Tyler! That's my
sister."

"Yeah, I know," he said
with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

I followed them out taking deep
breaths and willing myself to walk straight.

Jocelyn told me to choose a date
the first few minutes I was in the recovery room with her. She said she didn't
care if part of her head was shaved and she didn't care if it took her hours to
get down the aisle, she just wanted to marry me.

So, I put my townhouse up for
rent after emptying it out, and a month after we returned from the hospital to
our home, there I was, at the front of a small chapel in Portland, waiting for
my bride to come out. Maddy and Tyler stood on either side of me after hugging
me tightly and whispering words of encouragement.

Olivia was dressed in a white
dress with a sash around her tiny waist that was the same color blue as Maddy's
dress. She was carrying a small basket full of white and pink rose petals.
Instead of dropping them as she walked, she started throwing them up in the air
and let them fall on her with a huge smile on her face. She made it half way
down the aisle before she saw me at the end and darted toward me, spilling the
petals along the way. I dropped down and caught her in my arms.

"Daddy!" She wrapped
her arms around my neck and squeezed me so tight. I laughed and kissed her
little cheek. "Mommy pretty," she whispered in my ear. She was only
twenty months old and too smart for her own good.

I looked up then and saw Jocelyn
standing in the doorway with a smile on her face and my heart almost lurched
out of my chest. I stood slowly, never taking my eyes off of her, as Maddy
grasped Liv's hand and walked her over to where she was supposed to stand.

I only caught a glimpse of
Jocelyn's white dress and how it hugged the curves of her body. But once my
eyes locked with hers, I couldn't look away. Everything that had happened in my
life before her was only a stepping stone to finding her. She was the love of
my life. The mother of the most beautiful girl in the entire world. The
strongest woman I had ever known. And no matter what happened after today, I
would be by her side.

Forever.

Five
years later

Olivia

I held on tight to Monty's leash
while Daddy held my other hand and slowly pulled me up the hill to stand in
front of the dark box that was laying in a big hole in the ground. I had tried
to stop crying. Tried to show everyone that I could be strong, but I wasn't. I
wasn't like Mommy.

She was always strong and always
knew what to do. Whenever I fell down and scraped my knees, she knew just what
to do to make it stop hurting and she always knew how to make me feel better
whenever I was sad. Daddy always said that I was just like her in every way.
That always made me smile. But right now, I couldn't smile.

I felt Daddy squeeze my hand and
I looked up at him. His eyes were really blue. Mine were more gray with tiny
specks of other colors. Mommy's were brown and reminded me of chocolate. He
smiled down at me before kneeling in front of me.

"Liv, sweetheart, I know you
miss her, but she is in a better place. I promise you." He was talking
really soft and his big finger lifted my chin up as I sniffed.

Mommy always said that Daddy kept
his promises no matter what, so I believed him.

"Do you think she misses
me
?"
I asked him.

He smiled and kissed the tip of
my nose. "I
know
she does. You took care of her and loved her so
much. And she loved you, too."

I nodded, "Okay."

Monty huffed next to me and laid
down at my feet. He looked as sad as I was and I felt like telling him it would
be okay, but he started wagging his tail and sat up next to me looking back
down the hill we had just climbed.

Mommy was holding my little
brother, Bennett's, hand and helping him climb up the hill. Bennett looked a
lot like me, but his eyes were blue like Daddy's and he was a boy so he had
really short hair that wasn't curly like mine.

"I found it, Liv."
Mommy held out the folded up piece of paper I forgot to bring with me. She had
helped me write down what I wanted to say about Sasha, my pet goldfish, who was
now lying in the black shoebox Daddy found for her.

She had died last night after I
had only had her for three days. I had fed her every day and talked to her all
the time to keep her company like Mommy and Daddy did for Monty. Daddy won her
for me at the fair and bought her a big bowl to live in with colored rocks and
a little castle she liked to swim in and out of. When we got home from the
doctor's yesterday, she wasn't swimming anymore.