Out of Chances (11 page)

But he had a fair idea what Lisa was referring to. One of the pictures of Indigo with him must have made the cut for the gossip pages. He smiled and wished he had seen the paper. She had looked damn hot … the red shoes and stockings afterwards would be something he wouldn't forget in a hurry.

‘Who is she?' There was a snap in Lisa's voice, as though she couldn't believe he'd gone out with someone else.

He took a breath and then a second one. Lie and say she was a girlfriend or be honest and say friend? Neither. Lisa didn't have the right to know. ‘What does it matter? We aren't together. I can do what I want.'

‘We
have
to get back together.'

Dan leaned back on the sofa. Her insistence was annoying. Could she not see that he wanted nothing to do with her? He'd collected his stuff when she wasn't home. Taken his name off the lease without talking to her. What else did he need to do? ‘No we don't.'

‘We were so good together.'

May be at the start, but not at the end. ‘You weren't happy—'

‘Because you were always away.'

And it was always his fault. ‘That's my job.'

‘So change jobs.'

He laughed, but there was no joy in it. ‘I won't jump to your demands and I sure as hell won't jump to his. Find another sucker.' He hung up.

His phone rang again and he hit ignore. It wasn't him she wanted, it was his father's money. That left a bad taste in his mouth. His whole relationship with her disintegrated into ashes. For how long had she been thinking of the money and not him?

Indigo wanted the brush with fame. Would anyone have done? He tried to push away the thought. She wanted
him
. Had known who he was from the start. But that didn't erase the doubt that if it had been Mike sitting there, she would've hit on him instead. He swept his notebook off the table and shut his laptop.

Then he went to the fridge and pulled out a beer from under the pizza box.

On his own he wasn't good enough.

Never had been.

Never would be.

Chapter 9

Emma and three of her friends arrived at Indigo's flat on Thursday. They immediately took over her living room floor and filled her fridge with soft drink and her pantry with snacks.

That kind of stuff usually never came into her house. While her job kept her fit, it took effort to keep the fat off. She was never going to have anyone tell her she was letting herself go. That if she just did this or that …

Her father's voice echoed in her ears. She only had to look at Emma to hear him.

Emma looked like him. She had the same blonde hair and straight nose. It only took the girls staying there for one meal for Indigo to realise how her sister was staying so painfully thin. She'd lost more weight since Indigo had seen her at Christmas.

‘I can do an ice-cream run if anyone wants dessert?' If she was nice tonight they'd be less likely to abuse the privilege of staying. If she had to clean up spew there would be words. Many words, most of them swear words and all of them out of her mouth.

Some of the girls nodded. Emma shook her head.

‘Come on Emma, you didn't eat much dinner,' Indigo said.

‘Jay's sister is getting married and I want to drop a dress size before the wedding.'

‘Why? You're not the bride.' Her sister was thin enough already. There was a difference between thin and fit.

Emma gave a one-shouldered shrug. ‘I don't want to be like Mum.'

‘Mum is always on a diet.' And it seemed Emma was too.

‘She never sticks to it, that's her problem. I can.' She smiled as though that should've been obvious.

Indigo frowned and rested her hip against the kitchen counter. There was nowhere to sit in her living room and the two chairs at her lame little dining table were covered in clothes that apparently needed to be hung so they wouldn't get creases.

She tried not to think about what had happened on the kitchen counter with Dan. But the memory was too fresh and her heart gave a little trip of excitement. While they had exchanged text messages, they hadn't organised anything else. She hated that she was waiting for that message to come. With her sister and her friends crashing, there was no way she could invite him over.

‘Dieting screws your metabolism.' Her sister really didn't need to get thinner, none of the girls did. Were they all on a diet?

‘Getting fat screws with your social life.' Emma crossed her arms. ‘Men don't want you because you are too muscly. You look like a man.'

Like she hadn't heard that before, even before she'd become a personal trainer. It was a damn good reason to get bigger boobs.

‘Better muscles than bone.' No one wanted to hug a skeleton.

The girls laughed. It was that giggle that the popular girls at school did when they thought they knew best. Indigo had always hated it, because she was usually on the receiving end of the joke or snide comment.

Guess that hadn't changed. Except her sister was now one of the class bitches.

Emma and friends were only here for four nights.

She could do this.

Would it be wrong to text Dan and see if he wanted a booty call at his place so she could accidentally sleep there?

Yes it would.

‘So no one wants ice-cream except for me?' Indigo asked again to get a final head count.

This time all the girls shook their heads.

Sheep.

Indigo picked up her car keys, feeling a little sick that her sister was the ringleader. When had that happened? How had that happened? Indigo remembered hiding under the bed with her while their parents had argued, their father blaming their mother for another affair. Mum had tried being blonde, being brunette, wearing skirts, wearing push-up bras and for a while the changes would make him happy, then it would happen again.

Then the diets would start.

Then the arguments.

Then there would be a new look and a new diet, and Indigo would wait for it to happen again.

Which it did.

She shouldn't be surprised that her sister had taken those arguments to heart and was determined to be thin and loveable. No doubt their father approved.

‘Fine.' She walked out and shut the door a little firmer than necessary.

The more time she spent away from her parents the less she wanted to go back. She didn't even want ice-cream. No, but she should buy a tub and eat it in front of them. She'd work extra hard tomorrow to burn it off.

Because that was different to dieting how?

Was she really too muscly?

She pulled her phone out of her pocket ready to text Dan … and what, get his approval on her body? She didn't need it. He had quite happily slept with her and hadn't once said anything—except to admit he was jealous of her abs. Of course, if he had said something she'd have tossed him out; maybe, what kind of idiot would kick him out of bed? There were plenty of women who would be more than happy to be in her shoes.

She unlocked her car and got in, still annoyed her sister had gotten under her skin so fast. Her sister's words were just as cutting as the ones the kids at school had thrown around and the boyfriends who'd complained about her lack of breasts like it was something she should fix for them.

Well, she wasn't doing it for them; she was doing it for herself so she didn't have to listen to those comments. Why did she care what they thought anyway?

She started up the car and drove to the corner shop. She marched in grabbed a tub of salted caramel ice-cream, paid and marched straight back out. Feeling less like ice-cream and more angry with every step.

She pulled out her phone and sent a quick text.

I have ice-cream

That didn't sound desperate. It was a suggestion that he could either take up or not. She hoped that he'd at least reply.

Dan responded immediately.
I have spoons

That was obviously an invitation to turn up on his doorstep.
On my way

She wouldn't stay for long. Just long enough to eat the ice-cream with him, get naked and be appreciated. Being with him was better than being in her flat and listening to her sister and her friends.

Having someone she could call up when she wanted some was a definite upturn. One she could get used to real fast. Less than ten minutes later she was pulling up outside his flat.

She wasn't sure if she was here for sex or just hiding from her sister. It had to be the former because she and Dan weren't friends or lovers. They were occasional bed partners.

Bed buddies didn't share ice-cream. This was expanding their agreement.

The tub of ice-cream was cold in her hand as she got out of the car and walked up to his door. Nerves formed as she knocked. It was different this time. She hadn't been brought here by lust. She glanced at the tub. He hadn't even asked what flavour she was bringing. Maybe he didn't care about the ice-cream at all. She sighed. That would be for the best.

Dan opened the door.

He had on jeans and a dark grey t-shirt that looked as though it had been scrunched up in a corner for far too long. His feet were bare but he had two spoons in his hand.

‘Did you think I was joking?' he said with a smile.

She had. She had been beginning to think that the ice-cream was an excuse for sex and that had made her feel a whole lot better. Now it was looking as though they were actually going to have ice-cream. ‘You may not like what I picked.'

He shrugged. ‘I'm easy to please, unless it's got fruit in it.' He looked at her, his gaze skimming over her tight t-shirt and tracksuit pants. ‘Fruit is a definite deal-breaker.'

She should've gotten changed. She hadn't thought this through very well at all. If she was here for the sex then she should be dressing that way. This was too … too something close to being friends.

His eyes widened in horror. ‘Oh God. It's frozen fruity yoghurt, isn't it? Diet frozen fruity yoghurt.' He sighed as though that was the worst thing that could happen tonight. He lowered the spoons. ‘I don't think I can let you in if that's the case.' He sounded completely serious.

Indigo grinned, half tempted to nod and agree just to see what he'd do. The ice on the outside of the tub was melting against her palm and making her skin cold. Instead she took pity on him and lifted the tub so he could see. ‘If I'm going to splurge on junk calories, I do it properly.'

There was no point in only having half a luxury, as it wasn't satisfying. Give in, enjoy and make good the next day. And try not to feel guilty about it. Food, like sex, should be enjoyed. She planned on enjoying both tonight.

He read the tub and leaned in. His lips caught hers in a surprise kiss. ‘You are awesome.'

A little bubble of joy grew and swelled in her chest. He dragged her inside and shut the door. Her body was pressed against his as he kissed her hard, leaving no doubt about how he felt about her—regardless of what she was wearing.

While his body was hot and hard against her, her hand was freezing. She pressed the tub to his ribs. He yelped and drew back, but there was a glint in his eyes and a half smile on his lips.

‘We don't want the ice-cream to melt.' She tried to look innocent and was sure she failed. She expected him to put it in the freezer so they could get sweaty, or even forget about the ice-cream all together.

‘You're right. Come have a seat.' He indicated to the sofa.

Her eyebrows lifted. ‘Oh.'

Dan glanced at her. ‘Was the ice-cream an excuse? You know you don't need one.'

‘I don't want you thinking I'm too easy,' she said with a laugh she didn't entirely feel. Did he already think that she was easy? He was right though, getting the ice-cream had provided a reason to come around. She'd spent the day thinking about him, maybe she'd have found any reason to get out of her flat tonight.

‘As long as you're only being easy with me.' He dropped onto the sofa and patted his thigh as if he expected her to sit on his lap.

She swallowed. Was he asking if they were exclusive? Wasn't that a step in the ‘this is getting serious direction'?

‘Are you only screwing me?' She tried to put this back on familiar ground. Back to sex and nothing else.

He nodded. ‘Despite what you may have heard, I am very respectable.'

She glanced at the glass of spirits on the coffee table and the almost empty bottle of cheap rum. Then his bare feet and scruffy hair. It looked as though he hadn't shaved today either. He was the very image of all things not respectable.

Indigo sat on his lap facing him. ‘If you're the angel in the band then the others must be truly wicked.'

‘You have no idea. They are all getting serious while I have just escaped the shackles of a long-term relationship.' He peeled off the plastic seal on the tub and then removed the lid.

She hadn't realised that the rest of the band had girlfriends. She'd heard about Mike, a lot. And then there were the Ed fans … Dan got attention but it wasn't quite the same, maybe because he'd been with someone when the band had started. She remembered being in the crowd and hearing some girl ask which guy was single—she apparently wasn't fussed about who she slept with as long as it was one of them.

That Indigo didn't understand. If you didn't like someone, why sleep with them?

She knelt over Dan and took the mouthful of ice-cream he offered her. The gesture was so simple, the look on his face so tender that she accidentally melted a little inside. She liked him. Really liked him in the way she'd managed to not like any guy.

He loved what he did and was fun to be around. He showed what it was like to be someone instead of no one. He made her feel like someone.

It was one thing to think a guy was worth getting her panties off for, but another to want to see him again and again. She was beginning to enjoy seeing Dan entirely too much.

Which was a dangerous thing to do. The next thing she knew she'd be needing him and one day she'd wake up alone and crushed. The future of their dating life and his rising celebrity status flicked through her mind. This wasn't going to end well. She should walk away now.