Out of Chances (12 page)

But he was smiling as he offered her another spoonful of ice-cream. Sitting here like this felt so normal—it was what she wanted. He was what she wanted in a guy and that was terrifying. The cold raced all the way to her toes.

‘What are we doing?' Her words were soft, as though she was worried about breaking the moment.

He glanced up, the spoon almost to his lips. ‘Eating ice-cream? Am I doing it wrong?'

She shook her head. No, he was doing everything right. They were supposed to have sex once and never see each other again. She was supposed to have a shiny memory and a warm glow when she heard his music or saw him on stage. Now she wasn't so sure.

He wasn't just the bass player anymore. He was a real guy who didn't shave every day, or dress up when she was coming over. He hadn't made a single comment about what she was wearing. He'd seen her all dressed up and now like this, with no make-up on and her hair in a knot.

They were entirely too comfortable with each other.

‘It's just weird for me. Is it weird for you?' She was boring Indigo from Kal, and he was Dan from Selling the Sun. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was going to wake up and it was all going to be a dream. Or it was real life and it was going to turn into a nightmare.

‘Why would this be weird?' Now he was frowning. ‘Eat more ice-cream.' He offered her the loaded spoon, it seemed more salted caramel sauce than ice-cream.

She hesitated then ate. Maybe she was making it weird and reading too much into what was going on. He was enjoying being single and free, even if he was only being free with her. It was nice to know that he wasn't sleeping with every fan who offered herself to him.

Have fun while it lasts and quit analysing it.

Or get up and walk away and never come back.

They were her only two options. But when she looked at him she knew she couldn't walk away; she was having fun with him. She leaned closer and kissed him. His lips were cold and sweet, but his mouth was hot.

‘I can't stay for too long, my sister thinks I ducked out for ice-cream.' She wanted to stay all night. Her sister wouldn't miss her.

‘Keeping me a secret?'

There was nothing to keep secret. ‘She doesn't need to know about every guy I see.'

There was a flicker of something in his eyes. He put the ice-cream to the side and ran his hands up her thighs.

‘Well then, I wouldn't want you to be late home.' He sounded disappointed that she wouldn't be staying the night.

Is that where they were at? Sleeping over? Well, he had already spent the night at her place. She couldn't hang around until he got bored or someone else more exciting caught his eye. This wasn't a relationship, but she could easily see how it could accidentally become one. She needed to regain control of what was happening. Not staying over was a good thing.

It didn't feel like a good thing. And while he kissed her and undressed her, she could feel a distance that hadn't been there before. She didn't like it. The fun had been destroyed by a few careless words.

Chapter 10

While he didn't want to go to family dinner, he didn't want to upset his mother. There would be no way to avoid his father and he suspected dinner was going be something like getting intimate with a cactus—painful during and painful after as all the thorns were removed.

He parked in the driveway. His sisters were already here. He checked the time but he wasn't late. It was a few hours, that was all. They couldn't force him to do anything, only harp on at him. Nothing he hadn't heard before. All he had to do was bite his tongue and tell them everything was great.

There would be no mentioning he was now late with his rent to Mike—he hoped Lisa was struggling with hers too—or he was contemplating what else he could sell to fund this temporary shortfall.

He'd get by. He always did. Usually because family money was bailing him out. He'd grown far too used to having that parachute without looking hard at the consequences. Now he was close enough to the ground he could see them, but too close to change his course.

He got out of the car and made the short walk to his short stay in hell.

He didn't have to stay for dessert, even though it would be his favourite.

And he didn't have to talk to his father.

As soon as he opened the front door he smelled the roast beef. His stomach growled. He'd run out of cereal, then he'd run out of food altogether. He knew he was going to have to buy some, but not today. He could always mooch around Ed's place for a meal, that was definitely a possibility. Almost a certainty.

‘Hey, Mum,' he called as he walked in. He could hear his sisters talking. From the sounds of it they'd brought their partners. Great. Maybe he should've brought Indigo. Nah, she was spending time with her sister and they weren't in a meet the parents' space. Inflicting his on her wouldn't be fair, plus she'd probably run a mile.

‘Dan. Been a long time, little brother.' Grace hugged him.

Lauren gave a wave. His mother smiled. His father was nowhere to be seen. Good.

‘You invited everyone, Mum.' So much for a quiet family dinner.

She nodded but there was a moment of hesitation. Doubt bloomed in his gut. Had he walked into some kind of set-up? If Lisa had been invited, he was walking straight back out.

‘Would you like a drink, beer or wine?' Grace had the fridge open.

He was about to say yes, but he was okay for the moment. He'd rather wait until his father started up. Pace himself instead of diving in. ‘I'll just have a water for the moment.'

Plus he hadn't eaten. He moved closer to the kitchen island where the dips, chips and homemade mini quiches were.

‘Why don't you take them to the dining table?' his mother smiled.

No one ate nibbles at the dining table, it was too formal, but he did as he was told and downed three mini quiches on the way. His sisters and mother followed. Everyone knew exactly where to sit—even his sisters' partners. Did they ever stop to wonder what kind of in-laws they'd be getting? Or was the bonus off the mortgage worth it?

His gaze scanned the table. The place where his girlfriend was supposed to sit was set. He doubted they had found and invited Indigo. Nor would it be Gemma, the woman even his mother had thought he was seeing on the side just because they worked together.

‘Who else are you expecting?' he asked even though he knew the answer.

His mother cleared her throat. His sisters looked away.

‘Lisa and I are no longer dating. You didn't need to invite her.' He stood up.

A heavy hand landed on his shoulder. ‘She's part of the family. I made sure she was invited.'

His father took his seat at the head of the table.

Grace mouthed
I'm sorry
.

‘I might have that beer now.' He was going to need it.

‘Get me one too,' his father said.

Dan gave his father a mock salute, mostly because he knew it pissed him off, before leaving his family to plot against him. Did they really think that putting Lisa and him together in a room was going to make it happen? Or was he looking for conspiracies when really there were none? No, there was definitely something afoot.

Well, if they pushed him he'd tell all and see how they felt about her then. He'd tell about the bribe Dad had offered. If things were going to get ugly, he wanted the whole truth on the table for once. He was tired of playing nice.

Nice had got him nowhere.

Nice let people walk all over and take what they want.

Nice people finished last while those who smashed through with a smile and a swagger got everything. Ripley was living proof. If Dan had spent less time blindly rebelling and more time planning he might have come out holding a better hand.

The front door opened and Lisa announced her arrival.

Dan flicked the cap of his beer. ‘They're all in the dining room.'

She walked into the kitchen, all smiles and heels. Beige. ‘Oh, I'm surprised you came.'

‘If I'd known you were going to be intruding on a
family
dinner I wouldn't have bothered.'

‘I was invited.' She flicked her perfectly coloured and cut hair.

He preferred Indigo's wild curls.

Dan shook his head. ‘You could've said no. This isn't your family.'

She stalked closer. ‘I'm smarter than you. I know how to play this game. You move back in, we play house. We get the money, and then we break up.'

When had she become this person? Had he really been away so much he hadn't noticed the changes?

He took a step back. ‘This isn't the first time he's given you money, is it?'

When else had their relationship been ensnared? Was any of it real? When they'd been at uni things had been different. But when she'd started working and the band started coming together, something had shifted. Had she been afraid that he'd move on without her?

That thought had never crossed his mind until twelve months ago when she'd flat out said that she wished that he'd grow up just before the tour had started.

He should've recognised his father's words coming out of her mouth. But he hadn't and he'd come back as often as he could. Each time she'd try to convince him that there were better jobs, more stable jobs. That they could have a better life or better cars or holidays if he'd just come to his senses. If he complained about anything related to the band she jumped on it.

‘That's none of your business. But this could be business.' She reached for him and he sidestepped.

‘Can you hear yourself? You are talking about sleeping with me for my father's money. There's a word for that … what is it?' He took a swig of beer as he stared at her, waiting for her to fill in the blank. He lifted an eyebrow as the pause swelled.

Lisa pressed her lips together then let out an exasperated sigh. ‘You never think of anyone but yourself.'

‘You being the pot to my kettle?' All she was thinking about was the money.

‘God, you are such a child.' She turned and flounced into the dining room.

‘You're the one who wants to get back with me,' he muttered, then followed. His father would be waiting for his beer. By the time he'd been ten he'd learned that was not an errand to muck around with unless he wanted a slap around the ear.

He plunked his father's beer down and took his seat opposite Lisa. Conversation hadn't died. They were acting as though this wasn't weird at all.

A couple of hours. That was all.

Every time his father wanted a beer Dan helped himself to one too. He assisted his mother in clearing the nibbles, any excuse to get out of the room. He was here for his mother, not them.

‘Why did you do it, Mum?' She'd know exactly what he was talking about.

‘Lisa loves you.'

‘She loves the money Dad offered her to get me to quit.'

His mother tutted. ‘We've given your sisters money so they could buy a house. It's no different.'

‘I'm not buying a house with her.' He ditched his empty beer bottle and grabbed another couple, pre-empting his father's request. ‘If you keep inviting her, I will stop coming.'

‘Daniel.' Her face crumpled as though he'd just suggested something much more appalling.

‘I'm serious. When I get a new girlfriend it's going to be hell awkward with Lisa sitting there.'

‘Please don't swear. Lisa is friends with Lauren. She's been coming around for years, it would be rude to stop inviting her.'

‘It's insulting to me. No, hurtful every time I look at her …' He drew in a breath then looked his mother in the eye. ‘Did you know she was pregnant?'

His mother stepped back. ‘What? When?'

‘Did she tell you what she did?'

His mother frowned. ‘I don't know what you're talking about.'

Which meant the baby was a lie or that Lisa didn't want anyone to know. Either way it was about time his family saw her true colours.

‘I'll tell everyone over dinner because you all deserve to know. I should've told you sooner but I …' But he was afraid of looking like a dickhead. He was there already so what did it matter. He had nothing to lose.

He took the beers and the dish of potatoes through. He sent his sisters out to help with the rest. He stared at Lisa as he rolled the beer cap between his fingers. He needed to get the words right. He'd only get one shot. He had to open up the wound once more and let the poison out. Then he could heal. It would truly be over.

When everyone was seated and the food had been served and people were sticking the fork into their mouths with their first bite of what he knew would be delicious melt-in-your-mouth beef, he spoke.

‘I want to thank you for your support over the last six months.' He was being sarcastic, but he kept his tone sincere. ‘They have been incredibly tough. But it's true what they say. The loss of a baby really can destroy a relationship.'

It was as if all air had been removed from the room. There was no sound. Lisa turned white. He hoped she choked.

‘Plenty of musicians have families, I never thought my decision to remain in the band would cause Lisa to terminate.' He looked down at his untouched food. Saying it hurt, but not as much as holding it in had. ‘I've really struggled to deal with it.'

That was no lie. Keeping her secret had been killing him. He glanced up and exhaled. He was glad it was no longer a secret.

His parents looked at Lisa. Everyone looked at her. Including him.

Wriggle out of that one.

‘I don't know what you're talking about, are you drunk?' She smiled and glanced around, her eyes a little too wide and her lips a little too stiff.

‘Shall I refresh your memory?' He pulled out his phone. He'd kept all the messages, even though he'd wanted to erase her from his phone and life.