Out of Chances (20 page)

Dan stood there, his thumbs hooked into the pockets of his jeans. Waiting. He could have anyone. He could've tried to deny the head job in the club, but he hadn't. He could've blamed her. While she wanted to ask why he was even here, it was painfully obvious he wanted her.

She had no idea why. No one had ever made any kind of effort to fight for something with her.

Around her the familiar noise of the bar was almost covering their conversation. She hadn't missed that the lead singer of Selling the Sun had been commandeering the sound system. Over Dan's shoulder she could see Gemma and Mike.

The whole band was here. Her toes scrunched against her shoes.
The whole band.
No pressure. They were watching what was happening. How much had he told them?

‘Maybe I was just seeing you to meet the band.' She put the tray down on an empty table.

‘Then you wouldn't be pushing me away, you'd be asking for an introduction.' He hooked a thumb in the direction of the rest of the band. ‘If it was really nothing, and you're done, tell me. I'll delete your number and I won't look back.'

She raked her teeth over her lip. They hadn't been dating, but it had started to feel like they were and she'd run, pushed him away when they'd been on the edge of going deeper. She took a breath. It wasn't her fault what he'd done. It probably wasn't cheating as they hadn't been together. But it had pushed all the wrong buttons. She didn't think she could jump back into bed with him and not think about it.

‘I don't know where I am, or how I feel.' She sighed, knowing it was a cop-out but not having anything else to say right now. She'd been angry and hurt, but she hadn't expected him to want her back. ‘I don't know if I can trust you.'

He nodded. ‘I totally get that. I don't deserve a second chance, but I want one anyway. Tell me what I have to do.'

She had no idea. She didn't give second chances. She usually walked away before guys had a chance to hurt her. Dan had hurt her even though they weren't really together.

She looked at him. ‘Why did you do it?'

‘I don't know. I had the feeling you were done with me. She came on to me, but I realised too late it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted you. I'd have rather been at home eating ice-cream in our trackie pants.'

She almost smiled. ‘We both know you wanted to go out with Ripley. And next time you get hit on … you didn't exactly say no to me.'

He looked at the floor. ‘I'm not a cheater, Indigo.'

Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. She'd be able to get a couple of other opinions from his friends. She forced out a breath. ‘My father is. I just …'

It was too much. She couldn't be with a guy like that. She didn't want to wake up in twenty years and be living her mother's life.

Dan's eyes widened and he rocked back on his heels. ‘Oh. Shit.'

And just like that he seemed to get it. He just stood there, all the fight gone. He'd come here to win her back and she was pushing him away again.

Dan looked at her, his lips turned down as though he understood exactly why she never wanted to see him again. Except she did. She wanted to give him that chance, to date him, but the idea made her break out in a cold sweat. He was all the reasons she didn't date. He'd proven her theory that guys grew bored and moved on, but that didn't explain why he was back.

‘I guess this river is too wide to cross,' he finally said.

‘Yeah, maybe. I have issues.' She nodded. They were never going to make it. They'd drown halfway across. If they were lucky they'd wash up on the bank half dead and with more scars.

‘I should go. Let you get back to work.' He took a step back. Then another.

Once he walked out, that was it. She knew that, but she couldn't tear her eyes away. He'd admitted to mistakes, but how much of an effort was he making? ‘When was your last AFD?'

His lips twitched. ‘I'm on day two. I'm dying. But I figure I should go three and then have one beer. Try and get back to normal, whatever that is.'

‘That sounds better than feast and famine.'

They stood there looking at each other. The attraction was still there. She wanted to ruffle his carefully styled hair and see him smile. She wanted that man back, the one who laughed and knew how to have fun—or had that always been the alcohol talking?

At the same time she didn't want to touch him. The betrayal was still raw.

‘I don't think I can be with you. Yet.'

‘What does that mean?'

‘I don't know … Maybe we could take it slow?'

He smiled. Her heart gave a flip. He must know that smile was like a weapon. ‘Start over and do it right this time?'

‘You can't erase what happened. Do-overs don't exist.' If she agreed this time, what happened if he slipped and his dick landed in some chick's mouth again? ‘Let's just try and be friends first.'

‘You want to see if you can trust me.'

‘Yeah. I do.'

He looked down. ‘So I'm on probation.'

Was he going to decide it was too hard? Was she making it too hard? She was being torn in so many different directions. Lust, fear, worry, hope. ‘I'm giving you the chance you wanted.'

How serious had he been, or was it just about sex?

‘Yeah, okay.' He glanced up at her with a glint in his eyes. ‘Do you want to meet my friends?'

Her chest tightened. ‘Now?'

‘If we're going to be friends, you need to meet mine.' He took her hand and led her over to where Ed, Gemma and Mike were sitting.

Indigo fixed a smile even though she didn't feel comfortable doing this. This wasn't her world, it was his, and he was doing his best to make her a part of it. He didn't want to keep her separate. Or secret.

She'd wanted to try being friends and he was taking her literally.

She shouldn't be scared. She'd already seen the worst of him, and if he was dealing with it then she wanted a chance to see the best of him. Not just the man who was on stage.

Epilogue

They were flying up to Broome to film a clip tomorrow. Dan hated filming clips. It really wasn't his thing. Tonight they were all hanging around the Vincent's barbeque, for warmth as much as the food.

By all he meant Gemma, Ed, Mike and himself, plus Kirsten, Olivia, Ava and Indigo. This was the first time everyone had been in one place over the last month. Living here wasn't as bad as he'd thought it would be. Ed's parents hadn't given him the third degree, but there was a noticeable lack of alcohol around the house.

Indigo had suggested he get some counselling.

He'd told her the same thing.

It had been a tense stand-off, but in the end they had both agreed. Maybe neither of them had been in the right place to start a relationship when they'd met. He didn't like knowing he'd been the one to hurt her, and make it hard for her to trust him. But he liked that they were putting the pieces back together.
Slowly.

They were friends, but there were definitely no benefits.

Nothing more than a kiss.

She put her hand on his back pocket and leaned against him. Everyone here assumed they were dating. He guessed they were. But this was the first time he was going to be away.

He hadn't even been out clubbing with Ripley again, in part because Ripley was lying low and licking his wounds after injuring himself. No dancing for him right now.

Having seen the tour schedule, Dan knew he was going to be away a lot for the next six months. They were going to be doing some shows in the US. He'd let Mum know so she could tell Dad. He still wasn't speaking to his father, it was too early to raise both hands in a giant fuck you one-finger salute, and that was all he really had to say to the man.

‘Worried about your court case?' Indigo gave his butt a pinch.

There had been so many mixed signals over the last month he got a hard-on just looking at her, but he was still trying to keep things even and not rush her.

‘Only every other minute.' He knew what the result would be but he couldn't help but worry about it. When he got back from Broome he had to front up and plead guilty. ‘At least I won't miss my licence much.' He wouldn't be around to drive.

He crushed the lemonade can and tossed it in the box being used for empties. It wasn't the court case he was worrying about right now. It was leaving Indigo and whether or not there would be something to come back to. He wanted what they were doing made official so there could be no misunderstandings.

‘You got a moment?' He knew she did. The sausages weren't done yet and she wasn't going to take off when dinner hadn't been served. There was actually salad and dessert too, courtesy of Ava and Olivia.

Her smile fell away.

Ed shot him a glance but kept rolling the sausages around like he cared that they got burned evenly all over. Sometimes Dan was sure Ed was watching and waiting for him to screw up. But nothing had been said. Gemma often asked how he was going though, and they were sliding back to the easy friendship that they'd had. Mike was smiling a bit more. He also had whole conversations with Ava that involved more words than Dan had ever heard him say. She was good for him.

Dan and Indigo walked away from the heat and the other people. He shivered.

‘It's starting to get cold,' Indigo said as she rubbed her arms. ‘I left my jacket in the car.'

‘I'll get you one of mine.' He had been planning on staying outside, going in looked far too obvious. While they all assumed he and Indigo were dating, they also knew it was bumpy.

He took her hand and they went in. She hadn't been into his room here. It had taken him a week to tell her he was living here. His life had fallen apart so badly that he was living on a friend's charity.

The bed wasn't really made, but the rest of the room was tidy, if a little cluttered.

‘Settled in?'

He shot her a look over his shoulder as he pulled out a fleece jacket for her to wear. ‘It's okay.'

‘Thanks.' She slipped into his jacket and pulled her hair free. The red curls tumbled around her shoulders. Then she patted the bed next to her.

Dan didn't move. He wanted to—he wanted to be pinning her to the bed and removing items of clothing one by one. ‘I need to know where we stand, Indy. I'm heading off. We either make this official or call it a failed experiment.'

He didn't want to be jerked around again. And he didn't want to fuck up again. If it was nailed down and he knew where he stood, it would be fine.

‘I've been thinking about it too.' She frowned and folded her hands in her lap. It was clear she still didn't trust him. He couldn't make her trust him. He tried hard not to let the hurt show.

Dan's face hardened but he said nothing. The last four weeks had been different to anything she'd ever done. They had carefully danced around each other, seeing each other at every opportunity while trying to avoid drawing too close and getting burned. There had been moments when all she'd wanted to do was rip his clothes off.

‘I've never done this. Been friends with a guy. Just done stuff.'

‘But we aren't just friends. I feel a pull. I want to touch you and I have to fight so damn hard not to because I don't know where the lines are.' He forced out a breath. ‘I want you. I want to date you. I don't know if I can keep being friends when you hold my hand, or we kiss and forget to breathe.'

‘I know.' She tucked her hair behind her ears. ‘But I can't imagine not having you in my life now.'

‘As your boyfriend? Are you actually asking?'

He drew in a breath and held her gaze. Then he nodded. ‘Yes.' He dropped to his knees in front of her. Her heart stopped as he lifted her hands. ‘Will you please go out with me?'

She tried to ignore the heat creeping up her cheeks. No one asked outside of high school. He was on his knees as though it was a marriage proposal. All she had to do was say yes. It wasn't a big step to take. The last four weeks had revealed a lot about who he really was, the way he was with his friends and their girlfriends. No one thought he was an idiot and no one had tried to scare her away. They all wanted him to be happy and had said what a good thing she was.

None of them knew the reason behind her hesitation.

He had spent the last month getting himself together. She could see that now. Looking back, she could see the way he'd been falling apart. The way she'd been on edge, never trusting. Never letting anyone in out of fear.

She bit the inside of her lip and stared at him. He was what she wanted. They would make it work. ‘Yes.'

He grinned and kissed her. They fell back on the bed, their legs tangling.

‘Your friends will be waiting.' His hands were under her top and sliding over her belly.

‘Our friends won't care.' His hand slid lower.

She'd missed the way he touched her. But she was aching for all the wrong reasons.

She put her hands on his chest and pushed. ‘It's not going to happen tonight.'

He closed his eyes. ‘You still think about it.'

She did, but that wasn't the reason this time. ‘I have my period, so you'll have to wait until you get back.'

He rolled off her. ‘Damn.'

‘Plus I am not hiding in here while they are all out there imagining what we're up to.' It wasn't good manners to sneak off during a barbeque for a quickie. She propped herself up and looked at him.

‘They are already thinking the worst.' He reached for her hand and smiled. ‘We might as well let them think we're taking our time and doing it right.' He tugged her closer and she curled up against him.

He kissed her forehead. She tilted her face so she could taste his lips.

If their friends were already thinking they were up to no good, then there was no point in rushing back out. Her lips curved. They didn't have to rush at all. This wasn't for just one night.