Out Of The Ashes (The Ending Series, #3) (26 page)

Guiding me down onto my back, Jake
lowered himself onto his elbow and leaned over me, covering part of my fully
clothed body with his. His fingers trailed around the outline of my face, his
lips brushing against mine before he kissed the tip of my nose and the
sensitive skin beneath my ear, each offering putting my nerves at ease and
sending my heart soaring.

I tilted my head, giving him access
to more skin, while my hands explored the planes of his chest—the soft skin and
corded muscle—soliciting a delicious, aching feeling I never wanted to
forget…that I never wanted to go away.

I let everything Jake was feeling
drive my instincts. When his breathing quickened, so did mine, and my heart
pounded so loudly I was certain he could hear it. When he pressed his hips
against me, I pulled him closer. When he groaned, I tightened my grip on him.
When he removed my clothes, running his rough hands over my stomach and
breasts, immortalizing my body, I did the same with him.

I memorized the feel of the
muscles spanning over his shoulders and back. Every single touch was euphoric,
every hot puff of breath against my skin devastating. And every quiver of his
body sent ripples of exhilaration through mine.

I inhaled the alluring smell of
him. I tasted him. I finally, truly
felt
him.

Just as he’d silently promised,
Jake made love to me like it was our first time—like I was the virginal novice
I felt like. His touch was tender, but skilled and greedy, his movements slow,
but impassioned.

And when we were through, when I
could no longer think and our bodies trembled with fatigue and satisfaction and
we lay in each other’s arms, I tried to ignore his emotions. I wanted to bask
in my own euphoria, get lost in my own thoughts, and replay every moment of
what we’d just done, but that was impossible. Jake’s emotions were amplified
and raw.

Although he wrapped his arms
around me, nuzzling the inside of my neck, I couldn’t help the burn I felt as,
inside him, his contentment warred against an insatiable longing for someone
else, for someone I could never be.

19

DANI

MAY 1, 1AE

Fallon, Nevada

“You’re mad at
me,” I said as I pulled off my jeans, exchanging them for black leggings.

Jason was
kneeling in the corner of the tent, his back to me as he rummaged through his
pack. He didn’t say anything, didn’t confirm or deny my statement, but his
shoulders stiffened, and his back straightened.

“Because I hid
my—my
problem
from you?” I unclasped my bra and slipped it off without
removing my t-shirt.

Jason exhaled
heavily. “You should have told me.” He’d said those exact words to me once
before, when we’d finally reunited in Bodega Bay after I received Cece’s death
threat and fled with Jack and Wings.

He
faced me, the emotionless statue I’d come to know so well. “You should have
told me about the note when you first read it. We could have figured it out
together.”

“I
know.” The realization may have come slowly, but I knew that whatever happened,
whatever threat loomed ahead, Jason and I would face it together. He needed to
know that I believed in him…depended on him…trusted him. “I’m so sorry, Jason.
I won’t leave you again.”

Though barely
four months had passed, it felt like that conversation—that first kiss—happened
four
lifetimes
ago.

“You should
have told me.”

Once again, I’d
let him down…I’d failed to confide in him.

I could think of
hundreds of responses:
You’re right, I know. I should have told you. I’m so
sorry. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you.
But they all felt hollow. Jason
deserved better, so I said nothing. I simply stared at his back, at the way the
fabric of his t-shirt strained against his broad shoulders with each inhale.

He exhaled
loudly. “Why do you hide things like that? What are you so afraid of?” After a
moment, he turned on his knees and sat back on his heels. Staring at me, he
shook his head. “If you don’t trust me, maybe we shouldn’t be—”

Eyes wide with
horror at what he was suggesting, I lunged toward him, dropping to my knees in
front of him. “Shut up!” I covered his mouth with my hand. “Just shut up.”

He tensed, but he
didn’t pull away.

It took me a few
heartbeats to collect my thoughts. “I love you, Jason, and I trust you, more
than anyone else. It’s just—” I pressed my lips together and shook my head.
“This drifting thing…it’s embarrassing. It’s always embarrassing, these stupid
predicaments I get myself into, and, I don’t know, I thought if you found out I
was a drifting junkie, you’d finally realize that I’m more trouble than I’m
worth…that being with me’s just not worth all the effort it takes to actually
be
with me.” Ashamed, I looked away.

Reaching up,
Jason gently curled his fingers around my wrist and pulled my hand away from
his mouth. “Red—” He placed his hands on either side of my face and turned my
head, forcing me to look at him. “Dani, I love you. Whatever problems you’re
having, you can tell me, and it won’t change
that
.”

I bit my lip.

He blinked,
dropped his hands, and pulled back. “You don’t believe me.”

“What?” I asked,
my eyes widening. He was right, sort of; part of me didn’t
want
to
believe that he loved me, because I knew how he felt about love
,
especially after having a front-row view of the tragedy that
was his family. To Jason, love was a weapon; it was the single most powerful
way to destroy a person—or worse, to control them.

Jason frowned.
“You’re afraid…?”

“How could you
possibly know that?” I whispered.

He opened his
mouth, then closed it again and shook his head. “I don’t know; I just
do
.
Are you afraid of me?”

“No,” I said.
“I’m afraid
for
you. I’m afraid that loving me will kill you.”

“That’s ironic.”
He smiled wryly, coaxing a timid smile from my own lips. “I’ve never felt more
alive.”

I slapped his
chest, laughing softly. “I’m serious, Jason.” My eyebrows drew together.
“Promise me—promise that if something happens to me, if nulling me while I
sleep doesn’t work and I become as bad as Scott, or if something else happens
to me, you won’t end up like your dad. You’ll keep on living…
really
living.”

Jason’s teasing
expression sobered, and his eyes pulled me in like cerulean quicksand. “Only if
you promise me the same in return.”

I bit my lip
again and nodded.

“Deal,” Jason
said as he leaned in. He claimed my lips in the gentlest, most tender kiss. It
was sweet and delicate, and I wanted so much more…until he pulled away and
said, “Are you ready?”

I sighed, my
shoulders drooping. “What if it doesn’t work and you have to null me while I
sleep…forever?”

He smiled, and
his eyes consumed me. “I don’t think I’d mind that.”

I couldn’t help
but return his smile. He’d just said he was willing to remain by my side, being
my tether to humanity, for the rest of his life. I sighed as I reached for my
sleeping bag. I unrolled it, and Jason did the same with his, arranging it
right beside mine. And for the first time in over a month, he zipped our
sleeping bags together.

I slipped into my
side of the joined sleeping bags and sighed in pleasure. By the time my head
touched my camp pillow, my eyes were already closing.

Still kneeling,
Jason moved onto his sleeping bag, taking up a position with his knees flush
against my hips. “I miss those sounds.” He brushed a stray curl away from my
face, and I opened my eyes just enough to catch a glimpse of his gentle smile.
“Do you have any idea how badly I want to be with you…to feel you?” He groaned,
a rough noise deep in his chest. “But I can’t give in, not until we’re
somewhere safe for good.”

Oh,
right…because if he unintentionally nulled everyone, we’d all be in danger for
who knew how long.
I
blinked up at him groggily. “Until we’re safe,” I mumbled.

“Yeah, until
we’re safe. Sleep well, Red.” I felt Jason’s lips brush against my forehead,
felt his fingertips trail down my cheek, and then sleep claimed me.

~~~~~

I blinked awake
to the first rays of morning sunshine glowing through the green nylon of my
tent, feeling both sleepy and rested. Groaning, I stretched in my sleeping bag,
then turned onto my side. Jason was, of course, already awake. After all, the
sun had already started to rise.

He smiled lazily.
“’Morning.” Raising a hand to my face, he brushed the backs of his fingers down
my cheek and along the line of my jaw. “You look better. How do you feel?”

I frowned, taking
quick assessment of myself, starting at my toes and working my way up. “Better.
Not awesome, but better,” I said through another yawn.

Jason laughed. “I
think
you just said ‘better.’”

I smiled
sheepishly, but it contained genuine happiness…because it had worked. Jason had
nulled me all night, and I’d slept and dreamed and remained in my own body the
entire time.

~~~~~

Five mornings
later, I woke to the feeling of Jason’s body pressed against the back of mine,
to the tickle of his fingertips drawing lazy designs around my belly button.
Giggling, I squirmed into him, and heard his answering chuckle.

His hand started
moving lower, and I tensed, grabbing his wrist and moving his hand back up a
few inches. “Jason…”

“Red…” The desire
contained within that single syllable, the sheer force of need, almost made me
release his hand.

“No, Jason.” I
moved his hand higher, snuggling it against my chest. “No. It’s too dangerous.
You said so yourself…over and over and over…”

Jason groaned and
held me more tightly against him. “Right now, I really don’t give a fuck.”

My heart skipped
a beat or three. “Yes you do.” I held my breath for a few seconds, then said,
“Maybe I should start sharing a tent with Zo…at least until this is no longer
such a, um,
painful
issue…”

“If you tried
that, I’d throw you over my shoulder and bring you right back here,” he
whispered near my ear.

Craning my neck,
I stared into those intense eyes, as clear and blue and luminous as any
tropical sea, blinked several times, then burst into laughter. “You are such a
caveman sometimes, you know that?”

He watched me,
amusement making his eyes dance and his lips curve upward. “You make me crazy.”

I grinned like
the cat who caught the canary, leaned in for a quick kiss, then sat up and
stretched my arms over my head. “Good,” I said with a nod. “My life’s work is
complete.” With one final stretch, I pushed my sleeping bag down and out of the
way and crawled to my folded pile of semi-fresh clothes. I exchanged my leggings
and t-shirt for a sports bra, black tank top, long-sleeved shirt, and somewhat
faded jeans, then headed for the tent door to slip on my boots before heading
out.

“You’re in a
hurry,” Jason said as he finally emerged from our sleeping bags.

I paused with my
fingers pinching the zipper and shrugged. “I’m excited to get moving.” It was a
big day, a milestone day, and we couldn’t afford to waste time.

Today, if
everything worked out, we would reach Lake Tahoe.
If
everything worked
out, we would meet up with Holly and Hunter, our two companions who’d remained
behind with the liberated cult followers the last time we’d passed through,
enjoy several days of rest and recuperation, then continue on our way.

The coast, Bodega
Bay—my hometown—was mere weeks away, and it felt so close that I could almost
reach out and touch it. Tahoe was one step closer to home, and I wanted to be
there,
now
.

~~~~~

I stared at the
white letters carved into a rustic sign on the left side of the highway as
Wings and the other lead horses clopped past it:
TAHOE WOLF AND WOLFDOG
RESCUE.
A long cinder-block building, a small barn, and several sheds stood
on the land beyond it, with various fenced-in areas and cages arrayed around,
between, and behind them. It looked like a miniature ranch, set in the most
beautiful, wooded setting, and that wasn’t even accounting for the view.

We were traveling
south on Highway 50, along the east shore of Lake Tahoe, and a faint breeze was
making the lake’s surface glitter like an enormous cache of sapphires,
diamonds, and blue topaz. The rescue, located on the opposite side of the
highway, had one hell of a view. I laughed softly, my lips curving into a
closed-mouth smile.
Lucky dogs…

“Find some new
friends?” Carlos asked, and when I glanced his way, I found his eyes studying
the small cluster of buildings.

I shook my head.
“They’re gone.”

“Dead?”

“Dunno.” I looked
away from the rescue center, focusing on the road ahead and my sense of the
animal minds around me. I had dozens of open telepathic connections, and
keeping myself from drifting to each and every one of those creatures’ minds
took more effort and concentration than it used to take. “I hope not.” I
shrugged. “They’re intelligent enough that they could’ve found a way out…I
think.”

“Hmmm…” Carlos
steered Arrow further away from Wings, scanning the alpine forest on either
side of the road.

“Careful,
now,”
I said to Wings.
“I’m
going to be a little distracted for a minute or two.”

“Take good
care of you,”
she said,
her mental voice smooth and reassuring.

I ran my hand
down the side of her neck, feeling the gentle flexing of her immensely powerful
muscles with each step.
“Thank you, Pretty Girl.”

She whinnied and
raised her head, purposefully becoming more attentive to our surroundings.

Closing my eyes,
I extended the radius of my Ability beyond the mile or so I’d been maintaining.
Thousands upon thousands of minds flooded my awareness, and I noticed a less
dense spot a little over a mile south of us. I assumed that was Zephyr Cove,
where, as Gabe had discovered one night while scouting the dreaming minds,
Holly, Hunter, and the formerly mind-controlled cultists had relocated.

I narrowed my
focus, searching only for the minds with the distinctive canine feel that
belonged to the Canidae family of animals. Dogs, formerly domestic creatures
forced to fend for themselves once their owners passed away, were the vast
majority of what I sensed, but there were also a fair number of coyotes and
foxes. I didn’t actually notice the wolves at first because their minds were
clustered with those of some of the dogs, forming an unusual pack, both in
terms of its mixed-species makeup and its large size. There had to be at least
a dozen wolves and even more dogs.