Out Of The Ashes (The Ending Series, #3) (27 page)

And there was
something else…another mind that felt at the same time hauntingly familiar and
utterly unique.
Like Ralph,
I thought.
And Scott and the other
drifters.

It’s another
one of us.
The
realization sent a thrill of fear-laced excitement racing through me. I wasn’t
sure why, but I’d felt a kinship to Ralph that I hadn’t noticed until I was
away from him. I’d chalked it up to him being able to understand me unlike any
of my survivor companions, even Jason, but now I was starting to wonder if it
was something more.

Was it possible
that the gene therapy changed our DNA more than Dr. Wesley had intended? Had
she unknowingly given rise to dozens of new subspecies? Instead of all of us making
up one
Homo sapiens sapiens
group,
had we been broken
into Homo sapiens telepathicus, Homo sapiens regenerativus, and Homo sapiens
psycho-mind-control-megalomaniacus?

Whatever the
cause, I felt drawn to this new mind.

Opening my eyes,
I looked around. Carlos appeared to be the only person who’d noticed my
momentary lapse of attention. He watched me, curiosity and something else
shining in his eyes. When he noticed me looking at him, he smiled
uncomfortably, then returned his attention to the pines surrounding us.

At first, I
thought his behavior was odd, but then I remembered that while I was excited by
the prospect of seeing people I’d once called companions, if not friends,
Carlos would be reuniting with people who’d been around him during the worst
month of his life.

Fifteen, maybe
twenty minutes later, we were guiding the horses off the highway and into the
parking lot of an old lake lodge. The long, three-story building had been
painted a dark brownish red with forest-green trim, and an enormous stone
chimney ran up along the exterior of the north side. And standing in an uneven
column on the porch spanning the entire front of the lodge were more people
than I’d seen in one place since leaving the Colony. Holly and Hunter stood
foremost, waving and grinning like little kids.

Any eagerness I’d
been feeling had faded, or possibly had just been overshadowed by my desire to
search for the drifter whose mind I’d sensed among the dogs and wolves. As
Jason and the others dismounted and crawled down from their perches on the
wagon and cart benches, I remained in my saddle. My attention kept returning to
the expanse of pines stretching out on the east side of the highway. Somewhere
in there…whoever I was sensing was somewhere in there.

“Jason,” I
called.

Halfway to the
lodge, he stopped and glanced at me over his shoulder.

“I’m going to get
the horses situated in that stable up the road,” I said, nodding back the way
we’d come. “I’ll meet back up with the rest of you in a bit.”

Jason frowned,
glancing at the cart and wagon. “What about the teams?”

“We’ll get them
unhooked and bring them up,” Zoe said, looking first at Sam, who was standing
next to her, then at Carlos, who was holding his horse’s reins just a yard or
two away from Wings and me. “Right, guys?”

When both Carlos
and Sam nodded, I smiled at Jason. “See. All taken care of.” I asked Wings to turn
and head back up the road, then looped in the rest of the horses and requested
that they follow us. I looked back at Jason. “I’ll have the whole herd around
me. That’s about as safe as it gets, and I’ll come back in a bit…after all the
hubbub has died down.” I made a shooing motion and laughed softly. “Go—talk to
Holly and Hunter, see what their plans are. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay…”

With one last
reassuring smile, I faced forward, and Wings started clip-clopping back up the
highway. We reached the stable without trouble, the herd fanning out behind us.

Thanks to Harper
having removed my cast and given my no-longer-broken arm the okay a few days
ago, I was finally able to really use both of my hands again. I unsaddled first
Wings, then Jason’s unnamed horse. It was when I was sliding Arrow’s saddle off
his back that I felt it; the mind was drawing nearer. Whoever it was had sensed
me.

Smiling at the
fact that now I wouldn’t have to go hunt the person down, I sent out a
tentative greeting.

“Friend?”
The mental voice that responded was tiny
and high-pitched and very clearly belonged to a child.

A kid? It’s a
kid?
If the mind really
belonged to a child, and the little kid was out here all alone with only the
animals to help it survive…

“Yes, of
course I’m a friend!”
I
started walking toward the woods beside the stable, where I could feel the
young drifter’s mind.
“I’m Dani. What’s your name?”

“Annie.”
A distinctly childlike giggle came from
further in the trees, and I was extremely grateful that the ground had little
cover, because I hardly paid any attention to where I was placing my feet as I
picked up my pace.
“Dani and Annie.”
I heard the giggle again, closer
this time.

“I’m here,” I
called out. Going by her mind’s signature, the little girl—Annie—was just up
ahead, and some of the canines who’d been around her when I’d first sensed her
were scattered throughout the woods around us both.

Most greeted me
warmly in my mind, but it was the pack’s alpha female who showed herself first,
slinking between the trees as she approached. She had a snowy white coat, and
blue eyes that were so pale they almost appeared silver. Those eyes never left
mine.

“I’m honored
to meet you,”
I told her,
making a point
not
to lower my eyes. She was testing me, and I wasn’t
about to fail. Among her kind, this wolf held as much power as was possible.

She stopped a few
yards in front of me and, after several more seconds of intense staring, sat.
“You
take young two-legs?”

“I—I don’t
know.”

She half-stood,
then settled back down.
“You must take young two-legs. Be mother to young
two-legs. Cannot survive here. Cold too dangerous in time of longer night.
Nearly lost young two-legs.”

Did that mean
that the kid had been out here, alone for all intents and purposes, for most of
the winter? Had she been out here since the beginning?

“Yes,”
I told the wolf without thinking.
“Of
course, yes.”
Remotely, I wondered what the hell I’d just agreed to.

“I am
pleased,”
the wolf said,
then stood, turned, and trotted back through the trees.

As she left, a
tiny girl wearing the dirtiest clothing I’d ever seen on a child ran past her,
directly toward me. She was laughing as she ran…until an even dirtier person
lurched through the woods behind her. It was a woman—a
young
woman, I
thought…maybe—and her adult legs carried her toward me faster than Annie’s
could.

I was so stunned
that I didn’t register her as a threat until it was too late for me to draw a
weapon.

She lunged at me,
her dark hair a tangled halo, her face covered in a layer of dirt so thick it
almost qualified as a mud mask, and her tattered jeans and sweatshirt barely
recognizable for what they were. And she
reeked
, almost as badly as some
of the dead bodies I’d come across, which was really saying something.

“You can’t have
her,” she shrieked mid-leap.

She hit me hard,
taking us both down to the ground, and proved to be surprisingly strong for a
woman who appeared to have spent the past few months living in the woods like
an animal. I was just lucky that she was about my size. Had she been any
bigger, I’d have been at a severe disadvantage.

“You can’t take
her away from me! You can’t have her!” There was no doubt in my mind that she
was a Crazy.

Annie was wailing
like a banshee, but at least the sound told me she’d halted far enough away
that neither of us would accidently kick her while we grappled on the ground.

“Would it hurt
you…to brush…your teeth?” I grunted as I wrestled with the Crazy. Her breath
was
horrendous
.

Rolling us both,
I managed to get the insane woman beneath me and yank my knife from my boot
sheath before she could overpower me. I held the knife to her throat and—

“Dani! No!”
Carlos shouted from behind me.

The crazed woman
and I both froze, the edge of my knife’s blade just beginning to slice into the
Crazy’s flesh. My chest heaved as I sucked in air. “What?”

“Don’t hurt her,”
Carlos said. He skidded to his knees beside us, pushing my knife hand away from
the woman’s neck.

I stared at him,
dumbfounded. “Why the hell not?”

He glanced down
at the filthy woman, seeming to be at a loss for words.

She stared up at
him, and recognition shone in her unstable gaze. She started cackling
maniacally. “Mom! Jesse! Did you see?” She tilted her head back, looking at
empty space. “Carlos came back!” She giggled, the sound soon turning into a
full-blown laugh, and she flashed the grimiest teeth I’d ever seen.

I had to turn my
head away to keep from gagging from the stench of her breath. “Carlos…?”

The young woman’s
laugh cut off abruptly. “You can’t have him! He’s
my
brother! Mine!”

20

ZOE

MAY 7, 1AE

Lake Tahoe, Nevada

When Gabe left me a note to meet
him down by the lake at lunchtime, I knew he had either great news or terrible
news. Since he’d asked me to meet him in private, I assumed it had something to
do with my electrotherapy sessions. Like maybe he wanted to take a break for a
while.

Maybe he wants to focus on fixing
Vanessa?
Helping Carlos’s long-lost
sister, who they’d found the previous afternoon—and who was also a definite
Crazy—seemed more important than administering more failed attempts to recharge
my memories.

As I wandered down the cement path
to the lakeshore, I hoped that if Gabe
was
planning to take a break from
our sessions, he wasn’t going to pull the plug completely. They weren’t going
well, not in the least. There had been absolutely no advancement on my end, and
we’d been trying for almost two weeks. In fact, Carlos’s Ability was improving
quickly, growing stronger and more focused, but I was left with nothing more
than a headache now and again and a temporarily out-of-service Ability.
Regardless, we couldn’t stop now. A break I could handle, but I wanted us to
keep trying…I
needed
us to keep trying.

I spotted Chris a few yards away,
sitting on a large rock on the beach, Gabe pacing back and forth in front of
her
.
I
quickened my steps, trying not to let their bland expressions worry me.

“What’s wrong? Is everything
alright? Is it Carlos?” He was the only one missing from our undercover
electrotherapy group. Forcing myself to look away from Gabe’s pinched
expression as he continued to pace, I focused on Chris.

She offered me a reassuring smile.
“Carlos is fine, Zoe, don’t worry. He’s out with Dani and his sister.”

Gabe looked up at me like he
finally realized I’d arrived. To my surprise, his keen eyes widened, and he
smiled—not just a polite hi-how-are-ya smile, but an
aha!
-by-Jove-I-think-I’ve-got-it
smile. “Ah, great. You’re here.”

I let out the breath I’d been
holding onto like it would’ve made any impending bad news less knifelike.
“Wait, what happened? Why are you so…” I tried to pinpoint his emotions.
“Excited?” I wasn’t sure that was even the right word.

Gabe lifted his shoulder. “I had
an idea…something different. Have a seat, and I’ll explain.” He gestured toward
a smaller rock beside Chris’s.

I looked at Chris, and when our
gazes met, she shrugged and shook her head. “You know as much as I do.”

With a sigh, I sat on the rock.

“So,” Gabe started. He was pacing
again, back and forth in the sand, creating a trail of obscure, overlapping
footprints in front of us. “I’ve been an idiot.” He ran his fingers through his
long blond hair.

“What?” Chris and I asked in
unison.

Gabe let out a soft chuckle. “It’s
so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner.”
He
was quiet for a minute, deep in thought.

When he looked up at me, prudent
and appraising, I could only stare back at him in wonder. I tried to control
the increasing hope that he might’ve found a way to help me get my memory back,
but it was difficult while he was keeping me in such suspense.

Chris glanced at me in my
periphery, and I could feel her hope perking up alongside mine.

“Please tell us, Gabe.” I dropped
my head into my hands. “I’m dying here…”

“Sorry. I’m just trying to wrap my
mind around all the possibilities.” He exhaled heavily. “We’ve been treating
your memory loss like amnesia. Essentially, Carlos has been going in and trying
to jumpstart the memory centers of your brain, trying to spark them back to
life, right?” A small grin tugged at the corner of Gabe’s mouth. “But what if
there’s nothing wrong with your memory centers? What if it wasn’t actually
Clara who did this to you…at least, not completely?”

Bewildered, I frowned.

“Hear me out,” he said and
crouched between Chris and me. “What if you did this to yourself?” When Chris
and I remained quiet, Gabe continued, “Dani’s Ability is mental, like yours and
like mine. She can communicate with animal minds. Your Ability is similar. You
can’t communicate with other minds, but you can feel them, you can
see
inside
them.”

As much as I appreciated his
attempt to help me understand, I was still confused.

“Are you going to spit it out,
Gabe, or—” Chris said.

“I’m getting to it.” He flashed us
a cocky smile. “When Dani was in the Colony, she was in extreme danger. To save
herself, she drifted into Ray, remember?”

I nodded. I’d seen what Dani had
been subjected to while she was in the Colony, what Clara and the General had
done to her toward the end. Her memories were vivid and frequent, in spite of
her attempt to forget her time there.

“What if your mind did something
similar? What if you shut parts of your mind down to protect yourself from
Clara?” Gabe’s gaze was intense and filled with a spark I hadn’t seen in it for
a while.

“Are you thinking that if Zoe did
this to herself, she’s the only one who can reverse it?” Chris asked, rising to
her feet. She glanced furtively from Gabe to me.

“Maybe. I have an idea of what
we
can do to help her reverse it, but, yes, a lot of it might be up to Zoe. If
we stop thinking of your condition in terms of amnesia and instead think of it
more like repressed memories, it makes sense.” He looked at me intently. “Don’t
you think?”

I nodded. “I think so…”

“Your body’s natural instinct is
to protect itself. In fact, people’s minds do it all the time, blocking
traumatic memories and such. And I have no doubt it was traumatizing to have
Clara prodding around in your mind, threatening to destroy the very essence of
who you are.” Gabe paused, considering something before he continued.
“Depending on what she was trying to do to you, it might simply have been too
much, and your mind locked your memories away as a defense mechanism.”

A chill raked over my body as I
thought about her meddling with my mind. I never really thought about that
night, but suddenly I could feel the cool, night air and Clara’s looming
presence like I was there again.

“So…how does she
un
-repress
her memories, then?” Chris asked.

“We need to figure out what
triggered the reaction in the first place…what caused the repression.”

Brow furrowed, I glanced first at
Chris, then at Gabe. “Clara, maybe?” Although I obviously couldn’t remember her
from my past, I’d seen her in other people’s memories and knew she was pure
poison, and I could only imagine how terrified I must have been while she was
cerebrally raping me. But I couldn’t actually remember.

Gabe nodded. “Exactly. How much
have you thought about that night?”

I pulled my knees up against my
chest and shrugged. “Not much. I try not to, actually.”

“Well, it’s time to try,” Gabe
said.

Studying him and Chris for a
moment, I wondered how I was supposed to suddenly remember such specific
details if I really had repressed all of my memories from that moment backward.
“Every single day, I try to remember even a smidgen of my past…what makes you
think it’s magically going to work this time?”

“Because I’m going to help you,”
Gabe said, offering me his hand. I stared at it, wondering if this was the
final moment of being
this
me, or if it was another step closer to
defeat and desperation. Accepting his hand, I stood.

“Are you thinking about conducting
some sort of hypnosis?” Chris asked, an intrigued gleam in her clear blue eyes.

Gabe nodded. “It’s our best bet.”
He looked back to me. “If I can put you into a dreamlike state, we can try to
work backward to help you unlock everything you’ve repressed. We can free your
mind.” He was nodding and smiling enthusiastically,
trying to increase my
comfort
level.
“I
think this could work, Zoe.”

The general atmosphere around me
shifted. Not only had Chris suddenly grown more hopeful, but Gabe seemed
completely rejuvenated as well.

“Are we trying it now?” I asked.

Gabe turned to Chris. “Do you mind
sticking around? If this works the way I hope it does, Zoe’s going to be
quasi-awake, but totally focused on what I’m asking her to do. I’m not sure
what latent memories or emotions will surface; you might need to soothe her.”

“Of course,” Chris said with a
curt nod. “I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”

My eyes shifted back and forth
between them. “Thanks, you guys,” I breathed, wiping my clammy
palms off on
my jeans. “I
really appreciate all your help with this. Whether it works or not, it wouldn’t
even be an option without you.”

Chris smiled. “I like projects.”
Her eyebrows danced. “Especially ones that have to do with brains.”

Gabe made a noncommittal noise and
stared at me, deep in thought. As we stood face to face, I realized how
important this moment was…or
might
be. His pale blue eyes were fierce,
holding a glint of both apprehension and resolve. I could feel his certainty
that if this didn’t work, I would never get my memories back. This was his
final hope.

With a heavy exhale, he raised his
eyebrows and smiled. “Shall we?”

Offering him my own weak smile in
return, I gave him a quick nod. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” Goose bumps were
already inundating my body at the thought of what he might uncover inside my
mind, should his theory prove correct.

“Alright.” Gabe pointed to the
shady base of an evergreen at the edge of the shoreline. “Have a seat over
there. I want you as close to the ground as possible in case you collapse.”

I let out a nervous laugh, and on
shaky legs, I walked over to the shady patch beneath the tree.

“Chris,” I heard Gabe say from
behind me. “I’d like you to be next to her to hold her up in case she loses
consciousness completely.”

“You worried she’ll pass out?”

“That, or I’ll push too much and
put her to sleep. I need her to be partially coherent for it to work. But,
again, I’ve never done a procedure quite like this before.”

“That makes three of us,” I
muttered and sat down, propping myself up against the base of the pine tree
that would serve as my psychiatrist’s chair while my mind was invaded one last
time.

Gabe crouched down in front of me,
and Chris sat to my right. Her mere presence was reassuring.

“No matter what you hear, Zoe, no
matter what you see, I need you to listen to my voice and do what I say, okay?”
Gabe said.

After taking a deep breath and
nodding, I settled into a comfortable sitting position, my legs folded in front
of me and my eyes closed. To rid my mind of anticipation and doubt, of fear and
excitement, I focused on the gentle breeze tickling the back of my neck and the
grating call of the jaybirds off in the distance. I could almost smell the
crisp freshness of the melting snow from the mountains surrounding us as I let
the warmth of the sun lull my senses.

My mind was suddenly lighter,
almost like it was floating away, and remotely, I wondered if it was Gabe
sending me into a half sleep.

“Alright, Zoe,” Gabe said softly.
“Think back to your very first memory.”

Letting out a deep breath, I felt
my body wilt as I unwound my limited memories like a spool of thread, the days
and weeks unraveling into frayed images and incohesive thoughts.

One of my earliest, blurred
memories was from that first night, when I’d been found in the abandoned house.

I felt fear and uncertainty…I
saw Dani’s wide, green eyes and Jake’s horror as I stepped out from the closet.
I felt what I now understood was Chris’s soft, cerebral touch lessening the
edge of uncertainty filling me. I saw Jason’s hardened features, which made me
question Dr. Wesley’s decision to leave me with them—complete strangers, or so
it seemed to me.

“Who do you see?” Gabe’s voice was
a velvety cord of trust and reassurance, binding me between this time and a
not-too-distant past.

“Ja—” I cleared my throat. “I see
Jake and Chris, and Dani and Cooper…we’re in the house in Colorado Springs.” I
was vaguely aware that I was sitting on the hard ground, surrounded by towering
evergreens, and that Gabe and Chris were sitting with me, but my mind was
drifting somewhere far away…

“What happened before that?” Gabe
asked quietly.

Holding onto the tether that was
Gabe’s voice, I tried to reach further back, to delve deeper into the past. A
slight pain blossomed in my temples, making me hesitate. “It’s not working…”

The more I tried to focus, the
sharper the pain became, making me wince.
I’ve felt this before…

“Who brought you to the house?”
Gabe asked. His voice was a bit more distant now, but just as persistent. I
strained to hear it over the images fading in and out of my mind.