Outlast the Night (14 page)

“I can see why,” Sam ventured, Caine’s smile and Kami’s candor giving him courage.

“I’ll let you get back to your conversation,” Caine said. “Oh, any thoughts on that project we were discussing, Sam?”

“A couple,” Sam said, “and I found the insurance policy, which we should discuss too, when you have time.”

“I’ll tell Macklin I need to stay here in the office tomorrow,” Caine said. “We can talk then.”

“Thanks,” Sam said as Caine left.

“Blow-in,” Kami said with an affectionate shake of his head as he watched Caine head back outside. “He doesn’t act like it now, but he was as clueless as you are when he first got here, probably even a little more so because he’s a Yank. Don’t ever forget that when you start thinking you can’t fit in here. A little over twelve months ago, Caine arrived for the first time. Chris has only been here for about six months. It’s not how long you’ve been here. It’s how deeply you invest your heart in this place that matters.”

“So you’re saying if I stick around and give it a chance, I’ll fit in as well as Caine does?” Sam asked.

“You’ll find your own place to fit in,” Kami amended. “You just have to take what’s being offered.”

Sam thought of Jeremy’s offer from the day before, to be his friend until his divorce was finalized and then to perhaps be so much more. He couldn’t let himself hope, not so soon, but it wouldn’t be such a terrible thing to have a friend. It had been so long since he’d had someone for himself, not someone who was married to one of Alison’s friends and so was his “friend” by default, but someone who’d chosen to be his friend. “I better get back to work. I don’t want to be stuck in the office after dinner. I have things to do.”

Kami smiled. “Get out of here. You’re in my way anyway.”

Sam flinched before the affection in Kami’s tone penetrated his shock. Kami had spoken to Caine in exactly the same tone of voice. He smiled all the way back to the office, warmed by the fact that he’d apparently made another friend without even realizing it.

S
AM
joined Jeremy, Chris, and Jesse at dinner again. He’d expected Neil and Molly to be back already, but he didn’t see them in the canteen, so either they’d been delayed or they were eating in their own house. Sam had seen a kitchen there, even if he hadn’t seen either of them use it beyond preparing a cup of tea or storing bottles of beer.

“What’s got you all in a twist?” Jesse asked when Sam looked around the canteen for the fifth time.

“I’m just surprised Neil and Molly aren’t back yet,” Sam said. “He said they’d be back today. I can’t decide if I should worry or not.”

“It feels later than it is,” Jeremy reminded him. “It’s getting dark earlier with winter approaching. I wouldn’t worry yet.”

“Neil knows his way around the station,” Jesse assured him. “He won’t get lost, and he’ll know if he’s in over his head. If he is, he’ll find a drover’s hut and stay the night. He might take risks by himself, but he’s not going to risk a single hair on Molly’s pretty dark head.”

“That’s true,” Sam said. “He has a phone. He’d call if he got delayed.”

“I’m sure he would,” Jesse said. “You could see if Caine’s heard from him. He might call the boss first.”

“He’d have to,” Sam said. “I don’t have a phone. I couldn’t afford one when I didn’t have a job, and I don’t really need one working in the office out here.”

Jeremy frowned. “If you leave the valley, make sure you either take a radio or are with someone who has a phone. As careful as we all are, things happen, and you don’t ever want to be out there without a way of communicating back if there’s a problem.”

“Is it really that dangerous?”

“It can be,” Jeremy said. “It can also be so breathtakingly beautiful you can hardly believe it’s real.”

The sound of a car door slamming interrupted them. “I bet that’s Neil and Molly right now,” Jesse said. “You want to go check on them?”

“No, there’s no need,” Sam said, tensing despite himself in anticipation of Neil’s reaction when he saw who Sam was sitting with. “They’ll come in for dinner. I’ll see them then.”

Jeremy must have felt his tension because he leaned toward Sam and asked, “Do you want me to sit somewhere else?”

“No!” Sam exclaimed, though he kept his voice low. “You’ve been kind to me. I’m not ashamed to be your friend. I’m just not looking forward to Neil’s reaction.”

“I don’t want to make problems for you,” Jeremy said.

“Neil’s the one with the problem if he can’t see that you aren’t your brother,” Sam insisted. “I just know what he’s like when it comes to making him admit he’s the one with the problem.”

Neil strode into the canteen with that same confident air Sam had noticed in the other year-rounders, although perhaps less in Chris and Jesse. Some of the others called out greetings that Neil answered absently as he looked around. When his gaze settled on Sam, and Neil realized who else was with him, his expression tightened, and he stalked toward their table.

Sam sighed. He’d hoped to avoid this in public, but Neil didn’t seem to care about the spectacle he was making of himself, and Molly wasn’t there yet to stop him.

“What are you doing?” Neil asked Sam.

“Having dinner,” Sam replied, reminding himself he wasn’t dependent on Neil’s generosity anymore. He had a place here independent of his brother. “That is what typically happens in a canteen at this hour of the day, isn’t it?”

“Don’t be a drongo,” Neil said. “That’s not what I meant. Why are you eating dinner with
him
?”

“I’m eating dinner with my friends,” Sam said, “because they invited me to join them, and I saw no reason to say no.”

Neil looked like he’d eaten something unpleasant, but before he could say anything else, Molly walked up to his side and put a hand on his arm. “Neil, leave Sam alone. He’s an adult and can sit wherever he wants. We’ll see him at the house after dinner.”

Sam hadn’t planned on that exactly, but he didn’t figure he could avoid it. “Yes, I’ll come by after dinner, and we can talk. You told Macklin you wouldn’t start anything, so don’t, okay?”

Neil opened his mouth to say something, probably something biting, but Molly tugged his arm sharply, and he closed his mouth, letting her lead him away.

“Bloody hell,” Sam muttered. “He’s my brother and I love him, but it’s a good thing he’s got Molly to keep him in check, or someone would have killed him a long time ago. I’m sorry, Jeremy.”

“No worries, mate,” Jeremy said with a smile that even felt genuine. “I’m asking people not to judge me for my brother’s actions. I owe you the same consideration.”

“I suppose that’s true. I’ll have to pass on the beer tonight, though. I have a feeling my conversation with Neil isn’t going to be short, especially once he realizes I’ve moved out,” Sam said.

“Oh, you haven’t told him?” Jesse asked gleefully. “Can I come listen to him explode?”

“Jesse,” Chris said. “Be nice.”

“I have a lot of respect for Neil as a stockman,” Jesse said. “And I have a lot of respect for him for standing up for Caine. I really do. But he can be a little overbearing. Maybe he doesn’t mean anything by it, but I can’t help but want to see him taken down a peg.”

“It’s still private,” Chris said. “I don’t want anyone outside our family to hear when I have to talk to Seth about stuff. Sam shouldn’t have to have an audience for his family disputes either.”

“Fine,” Jesse said, “but I want to know how it goes.”

“It’s going to go like this,” Sam said. “I’m going to remind him that I’m his
older
brother and that I’m perfectly capable of making decisions for myself. I’m going to tell him that I appreciate him letting me stay with him and Molly when I first got here, but that I need space of my own and so do they. And then I’m going to ask them about their wedding plans. Neil will probably bluster and protest, but I’m almost thirty-six. He can’t order me around. It doesn’t work that way.”

“We can have our beer in the bunkhouse tonight,” Jeremy broke in. “That way you can make sure Sam comes home okay.”

“You make it sound like I’m Seth’s age,” Sam protested.

“It’s not about how old you are,” Jeremy said. “It’s about how hard it is to argue with your brother, no matter your age. Believe me, I know.”

Sam couldn’t dispute that. He’d been there the last time Jeremy argued with his brother, and it hadn’t been pretty. “Fine, but I’m telling you, it won’t be like that.”

Chris changed the subject then, asking Jesse about the repairs they’d be doing on the station equipment over the winter. Sam knew nothing about engines, but Jesse obviously did as he chatted happily about tractors and more.

Sam lingered as long as he could over the meal, but eventually he couldn’t put it off any longer. “I’ll talk to you later, mates,” he said as he rose to deposit his plate with the dirty dishes.

Neil lay in wait for him just inside the door to his house. “You know what I think of Taylor,” he said the minute Sam stepped inside.

“I do,” Sam said. “I also know what Caine and Macklin think of him, and at the moment, I’m more inclined to trust their judgment than yours.”

“I’m your brother!”

“You are,” Sam agreed, “but they’re the bosses around here, and they’re the ones who made the decision to hire their rival’s younger brother. They’re the ones with the most to lose, but they don’t seem concerned about having him here. I don’t see why I should give your opinion more weight than theirs, especially when Jeremy has gone out of his way to be friendly and helpful to me.”

“He’s using you,” Neil warned.

“Why would you even think something like that?” Sam demanded. “Seriously, Neil, are you even listening to yourself? If Jeremy were here with some ulterior motive or secret plan—and I think that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard since I got here—I’m the last person he’d want to get close to because I’m even newer here than he is. Besides, when we were coming back from getting supplies in Boorowa, we ran into Devlin Taylor, and he and Jeremy argued again. Taylor doesn’t want Jeremy around, for whatever reason. Jeremy didn’t make that up. I saw it for myself.”

Neil didn’t look convinced, but Sam didn’t let that stop him. “Look, Neil,” he said a little more calmly. “I’m not asking you to like Jeremy. I’m not asking you to work with him. But I like him, and I’d like to keep learning from him, so I am asking you to accept that. Besides, he’s the only other person living in the bunkhouse at the moment, so it’s not like I can avoid him.”

“Wait,
other
person living in the bunkhouse? Why would you move into the bunkhouse?”

“Because I can only impose on you and Molly for so long,” Sam said. “I get room and board as part of my contract with the station, so I might as well take advantage of that.”

“Living here counts as room on the station,” Neil said.

“Maybe, but it also means depending on you for something when I don’t need to. I know it seems like I’m splitting hairs, but I spent the last nine months completely dependent on Alison’s generosity, if you can call it that. I finally have the means and the opportunity to not be dependent on anyone for anything, and that feels good. Please don’t ask me to give that up.”

“I….”

“Just say yes,” Molly said from the doorway behind them. “It isn’t your choice to make for him, Neil.”

“Fine,” Neil said. “I need a beer. You want one?”

“Sure,” Sam said, taking the peace offering for what it was.

Neil disappeared into the kitchen, and Molly came over to Sam. “Have a seat. I don’t have to tell you how stubborn your brother is.”

“No, you don’t,” Sam said. “He’s always been that way.”

“It has its benefits,” she said, “but I know it doesn’t seem that way today. He’ll come around, though. He loves you, and he worries about you. You’re gaunt and you look tired, even after almost four weeks here. He wouldn’t argue with you this way if he didn’t care about you.”

“I just hate it that the person who’s been the friendliest to me is the person he can’t see the worth of,” Sam said.

“There are years of bad blood to overcome,” Molly reminded him. “I know most of it was Devlin, not Jeremy, but Neil doesn’t see it that way, and you know why he doesn’t?”

“Why not?”

“Because he can’t imagine a world in which he would side with someone else over you,” Molly said. “He can’t wrap his head around Jeremy and Devlin having such a complete falling out that Jeremy would actually come here intending to stay. He can imagine them arguing, but not permanently. And if it’s not permanent, then Jeremy is, in Neil’s mind, just seeing things, learning things, to take back to Taylor Peak with him when he leaves, things that could perhaps be used to hurt this station.”

“His loyalty has always been his best quality,” Sam agreed.

“It is,” Molly said. “It saved his job here after Caine saved his life. It helped save the station this summer when so many of the new jackaroos didn’t know what they were doing. Nobody worked harder than Neil to make sure everything was done, not even Macklin. Of course that could be because Neil worked hard so Macklin wouldn’t have to, but the end result was the same. He thinks Alison must be an idiot because she left you. The list goes on. And so he can’t begin to understand how Jeremy could put anything above his brother.”

“I think it was more a case of Devlin putting something above Jeremy,” Sam said. “From what I could see, anyway.”

“Loyalty has to go both ways,” Molly said, “but the fact remains that Jeremy is here instead of on Taylor Peak with his brother, and for Neil, that can’t bode well for us. He’ll come around. He’s loyal, not blind. He’ll see that Jeremy means no harm. It’ll just take time.”

“I guess I just ignore him in the meantime?”

“I didn’t say that,” Molly said. “You should do exactly what you did tonight and call him on his shit. He trusts you. Once he gets over the shock, he’ll realize that if you like and trust Jeremy, maybe he can too.”

Chapter 12