Packed and Ready to Go (8 page)

“
If Javier ever acts up, I’m getting on that boat, too.” Carla glanced in his direction and used her napkin as a fan. “Anyway, how are you and Walter doing? Any better?”

“
Well…” I didn’t know where to begin. “Today has been a good day so far.” It wasn’t until I spoke those words that I realized I hadn’t talked with my husband since last night. “I found a cute pair of kitten heels at Macy’s, so I’m happy. Sorry I’m late.”

“
Don’t worry about it. We haven’t been here long and we’re still waiting on our drinks,” Carla said. “Let’s enjoy lunch because I’ve got some news to share with you guys.”

“
What?” Ursula and I said in unison.

Carla’s face lit up. She clapped her hands and sat on the edge of her seat. “Well…” She looked from Ursula back to me. “Javier and I are going to start a family. I want to have a baby.” She almost sang the words. Her eyes bored the raw hunger of longing.

“
Get outta here. You want a baby? You and Javier want a child?” I asked.

“
Ah, I guess it was only a matter of time,” Ursula said. “But what took you guys so long to decide? You’re at the end of your baby-making years.”

Carla hunched her shoulders. “I know, but we both really want a child.”

“
Wow.” I reached for her hand and squeezed it.

“
I know! It’s unbelievable, isn’t it? But we’ve been talking about it for a while and now it seems right. Maybe we’ll have two.”

“
You’re willing to stretch your tight stomach out of shape?” Ursula asked.

“
I’m not worried about my body. I’ll get back in shape.” She ran her manicured tips through her long hair. “I’m so excited.” She bounced in her seat like she couldn’t sit still.

“
Good for you.” I patted her hand again then released it.

“
I’ll believe it when I see your stomach sticking out like a balloon,” Ursula replied.

“
We’ve already been trying for a few months. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened yet.”

“
The way you and Javier go at it, there will be lots of little Valdezes running around in no time at all.” I wanted to sound reassuring, but my voice came out too cheerful, like I was trying to convince her the world was flat and people didn’t fall off the edge and get hurt.

The server returned with their drinks and took my drink order. From the corner of my eye I saw Marco eyeing me. I dropped my head before either of my friends noticed.

“
I see you flirting with Marco,” Ursula’s eyes danced with mischief.

“
Oh, don’t start, Ursula. He was saying hello.”

“
Well, it sure was a friendly hello.”

Every time Ursula saw me talking with Marco, she swore we were getting ready to have sex.

“
I’ve told you, he likes you. Every time he looks at you, it likes he’s imaging you with your clothes off.”

“
You’re being silly. I’m married and he’s separated. We’re just friends.” I glanced across the room and watched him take a bite of his burger.

“
Marco’s divorce is final. I think he may be seeing someone.” Ursula sang the words, baiting me to take the hook.

I felt my cheeks flush. “Divorced doesn’t mean he’s ready to start dating.”

The server set my drink on the table. “Are you ladies ready to place your orders?” she asked with her pencil poised over her pad.

“
Give us a few minutes, please.” I faced Ursula. “How do you know he’s seeing someone?”

“
Oh…” Ursula smirked. “
Now
you’re interested. I keep up with the office chatter. If you could get away from your numbers long enough, you would know, too.”

“
Ursula, stop giving her such a hard time.” Carla nudged Ursula on the arm. “You know Tracy is so faithful, so committed to her marriage, she can’t even think another man might be interested in her,” Carla teased. They both snickered.

When the waitress returned we all ordered salads.

“
Have you ever flirted, Tracy?” Ursula asked.

“
Okay you two, stop picking on me. I’ve flirted,” I said. “But it’s been a long time. I think…yes, I’m sure I’ve flirted.”

“
Don’t you and Walter flirt?” Carla continued before I could answer. “Girl, Javier and I flirt all the time. Last week he called me at work, and while I viewed some proofs, we had phone sex.”

Ursula and I burst into laughter.

“
I’m not surprised,” Ursula said. “You practically had an orgasm at the restaurant last night.”

“
Carla, I love your spontaneity. Walter would never do something like that. I can hardly remember the last time I had sex.” I sipped my diet soda.

“
Didn’t you have an orgasm this morning?” Ursula grinned.

“
No, I didn’t. I was interrupted. Besides, masturbating doesn’t count anyway,” I shot back at her. “Walter is so busy with work he comes home exhausted. And even if he weren’t exhausted, there’s no emotion in his touch.”

“
That’s pitiful.” Ursula shook her head.

Carla took over. “Take control. You gotta step it up. Set the mood.” Her hands were animated. “I’ve never met a man so exhausted he’d rather sleep when you’re in his face. Honey, all you have to do is strut buck-naked in front of him and, he’ll forget about work or whatever is on his mind. Don’t you own something sexy and frilly? Put it on and let it all hang out.” Carla shimmied in her chair to demonstrate.

“
Carla, everybody is not as aggressive as you,” said Ursula.

“
I’m not aggressive. I just know how to get what I want.”

“
Whew, girl you’re too much for me.” I sat back in my chair.

“
Now it’s time to pick on you, Miss Ursula.” Carla turned to Ursula. “Are you going to tell us more about the mystery man you’re seeing? The one you’re keeping a secret? We don’t even know his name.”

“
I’m not ready to talk about him yet. When it’s right, I’ll tell you guys. You know I tell you both everything!” Ursula blushed.

“
Is he married?” Carla asked with her index finger pointed at Ursula. “You know how we feel about messing around with married men.”

“
No, he’s not married. I’m not one of those women.”

“
I don’t understand the secrecy,” said Carla. “Is something wrong with him? Does he walk with a limp or have a third eye or something?”

“
Very funny. No it’s just…” She hesitated and hunched her shoulders. “The relationship is still new. When I know for sure it’s going somewhere I’ll tell you all about him.”

“
That’s never stopped you before,” I said. “You usually parade your men past us like flags. A few months ago it was Sam, a few months before that it was Barry, and before him it was—”

“
Okay, I got it,” Ursula laughed. “But no matter how much you tease me, I’m not telling. Yet.”

“
And remember you were halfway down the aisle a few years ago with that guy… What was his name?” Carla looked at me for help.

“
Oh, how can we forget the Denzel lookalike? What was his name?” I asked.

The server sat our meals in front of us, and for a moment we were quiet while we tasted our entrees.

“
So what was going on between you and Walter at the graduation? Why were you so angry about the car?” Ursula shoved lettuce leaves into her mouth.

“
It’s not the car,” I started. “I wish I knew what was going on. You know, every now and then Walter slips into one of those moods where he’s quiet and distant. It takes a little prodding, but eventually he comes around. I’m waiting on him to come out of this latest mood.”

They both looked at me and nodded.

“
Why can’t the man buy a car if he wants?” Ursula always took Walter’s side.

“
I don’t mind if Walter buys a new car. But who goes out and buys a $70,000 car without mentioning it to his wife? He could have said, ‘Oh honey, I’m thinking of buying a car today after work.’”

“
She’s got a point, Ursula.”

“
But it’s not like a car is going to break your bank.”

“
When we were buying the house, I talked to Walter about every little change and upgrade, even the five hundred dollars for the security wiring. It’s something we’ve always done. Now he’s changing the rules mid-stream.”

“
I guess that’s why I’m not in a permanent relationship. There are too many rules.” Ursula put her fork down.

I shrugged, excused myself, and went to the ladies room. Maybe Ursula was right. Did we have too many rules? Inside the stall, I dialed Walter’s BlackBerry. When the recorder came on, I punched out his office number. Then I called the country club and asked them to page Walter. I glanced at my watch, it was well after two now. If he played this morning, his game had to be over. Why hadn’t he returned any of my calls? Before exiting the restroom I opened the prescription bottle tucked in my purse. At the sink I cupped water in my hands and swallowed a pill.

I walked to the table and tried to ignore the sour acid churning in my stomach. Ursula and Carla were whispering, probably about me. I know they thought I was weak and pathetic for putting up with so much stuff.

“
You should try it,” Carla said to Ursula.

I took my seat. “Try what?”

“
I was telling Ursula about the spinning class I teach on Thursday evenings. I just put together a new jazz track, it’s real nice.”

“
I should come too,” I said. The numbers on the scale still stung. Instead of spending time trying to track down my husband, I could work on my wide hips and growing waist. “Will my hips get as slim as yours?”

“
For sure they will. It’s a good workout.”

We paid the check and headed out. I glanced back to see if Marco was still there. He was gone. Now a woman with a young girl sat at the table. A vision of Crystal and me popped into my head. We used to go out for lunch after our hair appointments. That memory seemed so distant now it was hard to believe it belonged to me.

After hugging my friends in the parking lot, I pulled onto Main Street and found myself heading to the country club. Without planning, I crisscrossed through traffic until I pulled into the lush green grounds of the club. I drove up and down the neatly slanted rows of cars looking for his new Lexus. Even though I didn’t see his car, I parked and went into the pro shop.

“
Hi, what time is the Baptiste tee time? I hope I’m not late,” I lied, and waited while he scrolled his computer screen to confirm Walter’s appointment.

“
Ma’am, his tee time was at eight this morning.”

“
Are you sure?” I feigned disappointment as I looked at my watch.

“
Yes, I checked him in myself.”

“
Oh my goodness, my husband is going to be mad I missed it.”

“
Sorry, ma’am.” I heard him respond, but I was already hurrying out of the clubhouse.

In the car, I dialed the house phone. Maybe he was sitting in the den watching television. After four rings the recorder came on. I pulled out of the lot with every intention of going home and doing whatever I could to occupy my Sunday afternoon. Instead I took the north interstate ramp to his offices. My stomach rebelled against my lunch, but I refused to turn back.

The white lines in the highway blurred. My fingers grew numb from gripping the steering wheel. I had no plan, but I wanted to find him.

Now.

Walter needed to find balance between his private life and his work life, to spend some time with me. We were supposed to work to live, not live to work. I wanted to cuddle in his arms like we used to do. I wished he looked at me with just a hint of lust like he did when we were in college and he convinced me to give him my virginity.

I pulled the car into a slot in the office garage, and walked across the street to his office building. Nodding to the security guard behind the desk, I signed my name in the visitors log, and he handed me a pass that allowed me to go up to the ninth floor.