Packed and Ready to Go (25 page)

“
Hey, where’s Walter?” I asked.

“
Here I am. Who’s looking for me?” Walter walked in the room and for a short minute I forgot our troubles and was struck by how handsome he was. Seeing him and Crystal in the room together and how much they resembled each other made me smile.

“
Where have you been?” I asked, and it sounded more like an accusation than I intended.

He sat on the arm of the loveseat closest to me. “I was in my office making a few phone calls. Before I could moan my complaint, he said, “It’s not what you think, it wasn’t about work. I’m planning a little something and I had to make some calls.”

“
Mmm hmm,” I said. He bent and kissed my cheek. Across the room Carla raised an eyebrow and smiled.

“
Everybody, breakfast is ready, and if ya’ll don’t come on and get it, I’m going to start without you.” My father stood in the doorway looking a little less vibrant than the week before.

“
I’m ready, Granddaddy.” Crystal jumped off Max’s lap and looped her arm through my father’s and together they walked into the kitchen.

The kitchen island was loaded with fluffy scrambled eggs, steaming hot grits, pancakes, crispy scrapple, and lots of other stuff. I was happy to see Crystal hadn’t lost her appetite. Once the photographer showed up and she started preparing for the wedding I was sure she would be too excited to eat.

“
I’m sorry I’m late,” Ursula called out as she walked into the room with Anthony at her side. “We got a little caught up this morning, if you know what I mean,” she whispered in my ear.

“
That’s too much information this morning,” I said to her. “Hey Anthony, get in line and help yourself. You might need the stamina,” I said to him.

He had an electrifying smile. It was easy to see why Ursula loved him. She stood behind him. They helped each other fill their plates, touching each other every few seconds. Ursula hadn’t looked this happy in college when she dated the second string quarterback and picked out the names of their four future children.

I felt like a voyeur, watching everyone else’s happiness, wishing it were mine. I pushed that thought to the overstuffed compartment in my mind where all the other matters waited to be dealt with. I even tried to push thoughts of Marco away. Thinking about him only complicated an already muddled life.

We all sat around the kitchen and dining room tables, sandwiching chairs as close as possible to make room for everyone. My food grew cold, but I continued to listen to the conversations and laughter. Walter sat next to me, gobbling his food like a man eating his last meal.

Midway through the meal, the caterers walked in with a tray of Moet Mimosa balanced on a silver tray. Together, they went around the rooms, placing a goblet in front of everyone. Crystal raised her glass and nodded just for me from the end of the table.

“
Before you sip your mimosa I’d like to say something.” Walter stood with his glass in his hand. Fear shook my heart. What would come out of his mouth? Walter shied away from the limelight, and getting him to say something aloud at family outings was like seeing snow in July. I glanced at Crystal to see if she knew what was going on. She hunched her shoulders.

Walter waved his hands for everyone in the kitchen to join us in the dining room. My parents stood side-by-side at the end of the table. The look on my father’s face said he’d rather finish his breakfast.

“
Later today things will get real busy and I might not have this opportunity. But as I look around this room, some of the most important people in our lives are here, so this makes it a good place to say what I have to say.” Walter turned to me and my face froze.

“
The wedding and reception will be about Crystal and Max and I wish them all the happiness in the world, but this morning I want to take a moment to thank the woman who has made all this possible. The woman I have loved since the day I met her.” He lifted his glass a little higher, “To my darling, beautiful and sexy wife, Tracy.”

I took in his performance from my seat. My breathing came in short spurts. I expected him to say it was all a joke. Walter bent and kissed me on the mouth, sticking his tongue in my mouth in front of everyone in the room.

When he straightened, I tried to look normal. This announcement shouldn’t have made me nervous, or my stomach sour, but I settled into his compliment like I should have.

“
She has been under a lot of stress lately. I’ve been working late. She and Crystal have done most of the wedding planning without me. So just to thank her for always being understanding and loving, I’m taking her on a third, fourth, or who knows what, but we’re going on another honeymoon next week, too. A little get away to Nassau. To you baby.” He raised his glass to everyone in the room, then to me. Through the glass in my hand I could see his blurred handsomeness.

“
Walter. Why?” I stuttered. “What made you decide to do this?” This was so unlike the Walter I’ve known lately that I could not fathom what would have brought him to this loving gesture. Had he seen my packed bags and was trying to preempt my actions?

“
Ah Tracy, didn’t your mom tell you not to look a gift horse in the mouth?” he said, grinning.

“
Yeah, but…”

“
Tracy, we deserve a little fun. Some rest.”

“
Here, here.” Crystal raised her glass, ending our discussion.

I sipped my mimosa. Walter wrapped his arm around my waist and lifted me from the chair. Carla and Ursula whispered their congratulations in my ear, but my mother’s skeptical look said everything I couldn’t voice.

“
Hey Mom, it looks like we’re both going away. Way to go, Dad.” Crystal nudged her father and gave him thumbs-up.

Maybe I was blocking my own happiness, looking around every corner, suspecting the boogey man to snatch away my joy. I warmed to the idea. The handsome man with his hand around my waist was the man I remembered. Everything he said could be true, but I was too blinded with a silly flirtation to trust Walter. Guilt crawled up my spine. Allowing my feelings for Marco to step beyond friendship was unforgivable.

I was afraid to speak and reveal my ambivalence. Spending several days away with Walter would have been my dream come true.

Months ago.

But now it felt as if Walter had tossed me a wooden token. I couldn’t muster much excitement. Instead, a dull finger strummed the strings of my heart with no enthusiasm.

A mirage of Marco and me frolicking on a beach danced across my mind. I blinked the image away and dropped my head.

Everyone looked at me, expecting me to say something kind and loving. I cleared my throat. “Wow! Walter this is great. We need a getaway. Thank you, honey.” Why wasn’t I more excited? Wasn’t that the gesture I wanted?

“
The photographer will be here shortly. We better get ready, because everything we do will be captured for eternity,” I said.

“
Yeah. Mom is right. I asked him to snap pictures of everything, so get ready,” Crystal put the last forkful of food in her mouth.

Max and his parents, along with the ushers and groomsmen, left for the hotel. Crystal and her girls headed upstairs, giggling and crowing about events that only they understood. Walter and I sat at the table with my mother and father.

“
What time will Aunt Edna and Uncle Bill get here?” I stirred my coffee.

“
They got a late start. They’re going straight to the church and you should be happy. You know the way they carry on, arguing all the time, it’s best if they take that mess right on to the church where they have to be quiet.”

“
Frances is right, the last time they came up for Thanksgiving, they upset the whole dinner arguing about who controlled the remote and how much weight Bill had put on. I had indigestion for the rest of the evening.” My father shook his head.

“
But they are my godparents,” I laughed. I wanted to get pictures of them.”

“
Get ’em at the church. Take my word for it, that’s best for all of us.”

“
Dad, you look tired, maybe you need to get a nap before—”

“
Yeah.” He stood up. “I think I’ll get forty winks, that way I can dance the night away with my granddaughter.” He stood, but leaned on the chair before heading upstairs.

Before my mother followed him out of the kitchen, she gave me a look. “See what I mean?”

“
I have an appointment on Monday. Stop worrying, Mom.”

The doorbell chimed, stopping her reply. She twisted her mouth into a disappointed line and walked out.

“
That must be the photographer.” Walter got up from the table. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

From where I sat in the kitchen I could hear the heated conversation and guessed that instead of the photographer arriving, Walter’s mother had landed on her broom. I sighed and made my way to the front door.

“
You know your brother drives like a maniac, I don’t know why you didn’t just send me a ticket and let me fly up here last night.” Mrs. Baptiste set her purse on the table in the foyer. “You’re stingy, Walter, always have been.”

“
Well, he got you here safe, didn’t he? Come on in and stop complaining.” Walter closed the door and rubbed his chest.

“
You are a mean self-centered ass. You only think about yourself. Always have. After all I sacrificed for you and your brothers, I deserve better treatment than this. I pray for your narcissistic soul. Out of all my boys, you are my biggest disappointment because you could be so much better.”

I tried to rescue him from his mother’s bite. “Good morning, Mrs. Baptiste. We just finished breakfast but I’m sure we’ve got plenty here for you guys.” I tried to sound chipper.

“
See Warren, if we had left when I told you, we could have gotten here so we could have a decent meal. Now we’re stuck with leftovers,” she yelled at her son before following me into the kitchen.

“
Tracy, it’s a wonder you’re still with him. You must be a saint.” His mother rolled her eyes before plopping into the chair with a huff.

“
I’m sure we can ask the caterer to fix you a nice hot meal. Please get comfortable, I’ll talk to them.” I indicated a seat at the table, then disappeared into the kitchen, happy to be away from the fire-breathing dragon.

Walter slipped into the kitchen behind me, looking like a little boy caught shoplifting candy.

“
I hope you made a reservation for your family at the hotel. Please don’t give her another reason to be angry,” I whispered to Walter.

“
Yeah, I did. Now let’s get them fed and out of here as quickly as possible.” He gripped the counter so tight the veins in his hand bulged.

Chapter Twenty - Tracy

Before Walter and I escorted Crystal down the aisle, I grabbed a tissue from the coordinator to wipe the tears from my eyes.

“
Are you going to be okay?” Crystal asked me. She wore a simple but elegant Rivini gown—her strapless, satin A-line dress was tiered and fit like the design was made especially for her. She looked like a princess as she stood between her father and me.

“
Yeah, I’m okay. These are happy tears.”

“
Come on Tracy, you can do this.” Walter wrapped me in his arms. “We’ve been getting ready for this day for over a year.”

“
Yes.” I faked confidence. “Yes, I can. Let’s get this show on the road.” I signaled the coordinator to start the music. We took Crystal’s arms after positioning ourselves in front of the vestibule doors. Before we proceeded down the aisle, I gave her hand a strong squeeze.

Throughout the ceremony, Walter kept his arm around me, comforting and shoring me up. Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes at the impeding emptiness in my life. Beside me, my father reached for my left hand and held it between his massive warm palms. He beamed with happiness. Maybe this was the thing that would allow him to forgive me. After twenty-one years, I detected a smidgen of forward movement.

“
Your mother cried when you got married, too, but she stopped long enough to smile for the pictures. Are you going to cry through the pictures, too?” He leaned over and whispered in my ear.

“
No, Dad.” I kissed him on the cheek. “Are we okay?”

“
We’re fine, baby. You’ve made your parents proud. We couldn’t have asked for a better daughter.” He kissed my nose.