Packed and Ready to Go (26 page)

For the balance of the ceremony a sweet peace settle over me.

After dinner, instead of mingling, I sat at the empty table, slipped off my shoes and wiggled my toes. They would never be straight again.

“
You’ve taken off your shoes already?” Ursula fell into the chair next to me.

“
Girl, my feet are killing me. I’m not used to dancing all night,” I said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you look so happy Anthony must be good for you.”

“
You and Walter seem… It looks like he’s ga-ga over you today. What is that about?”

“
Good question, but I’m kinda enjoying it.”

“
So, you guys are going away on a… little honeymoon, getaway, sex weekend?” She laughed at her joke and I joined her. Then with an introspective look on her face, she asked, “Do you think Max and Crystal will stay married forever?”

I placed my elbows on the table and put my chin in the palm of my hand. “Are you thinking about Crystal or yourself?”

“
Me.”

“
Don’t be afraid—you deserve to be happy. Claim it.”

“
Yeah. You’re right. But look at you and Walter.” Ursula dropped her elbow on the table, too.

“
I’ve never set good examples for anyone,” I joked.

“
That’s not true. I wouldn’t have gone to college if you hadn’t,” Ursula said.

“
Yeah, but then I got pregnant. Some kind of example that was for you.”

“
Tracy, that wasn’t the end of the world. Besides, look at your beautiful daughter.” She craned her neck to find Crystal.

I fingered the fork lying on the table. “I think my father forgave me today.”

“
I think he did that a long time ago. You just have to forgive yourself.” She patted my hand.

We sat in silence for several minutes. If being happy was so easy, what was my problem?

Anthony approached the table. “Well, enjoy yourself. Stop thinking about events that you can’t change,” she said.

“
There you are.” Anthony reached for her hand, pulled her into his arms.

What was it about weddings that made everyone think love was so attainable?

“
Tracy, I’m going to steal her away from you for a little while. I wanna dance.”

“
Anthony, you go right ahead.” I laughed.

I think he said
thanks
before he pulled Ursula into his arms, but they were both laughing and grinning so I couldn’t be sure.

I slipped my shoes on to walk over to my parents, who were seated at a table with my aunts and uncles.

“
Other than the bride, you are the most beautiful woman in the room.”

I turned into his sultry voice and smiled. “Marco, I’m so glad you made it.” I brushed my lips across his cheek, holding them in place for a moment too long. He placed his hand on my bare shoulder. A little too familiar for the setting, but I didn’t step back. His touch warmed my whole body.

“
I meant it. You are stunning. How are you doing?”

I scanned the large room for Walter. He was nowhere in sight. I nodded. He dropped his hands. Only then did I realize I had been holding my breath.

“
Did you bring a date?”

“
No, I’m alone.”

Even though it shouldn’t have mattered, I was happy he was alone. It made him more available to me.

“
You better go. I’m sure there are guests vying for your attention.” He stepped aside. I squeezed his hand before walking away.

I sat at the table with my parents. “I saw you and Mom on the dance floor. You looked pretty good,” I said to my father.

“
It’s not every day I get to dance with your mother.” He leaned back in his chair. “You know back in my day we use to go dancing almost every weekend. That was before you were born, of course. Because after you were born all we could do was stay home and try to get you to sleep.”

“
Dad,” I said. “I’ve heard this story so many times.”

“
I proud of you, Tracy. You’re a wonderful daughter.” His eyes held mine.

“
Your father has been drinking,” my mother said.

“
Quite a bit I might add.” My father slurred his words just a little. “This is the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever been to.”

“
What about ours?” My mother nudged him.

“
Hey—and what about mine?” I nudged him too.

We laughed. A magical charm touched the evening. I hoped it would never end. The last twenty-four hours had been perfect. The way I always dreamed.

Crystal and Max stood at the chocolate fountain, dipping strawberries into the sweet mixture. My daughter was true to her word, not afraid to eat chocolate in her white wedding dress.

Just before midnight, Crystal and I left the festivities to change into her travel attire.

“
Has the day turned out the way you hoped?” I asked her.

She turned and threw her arms around my neck, “Mom...” She planted several dry kisses on my check. “I can’t think of anything,
anything,
that could have made this day more special. I wasn’t this happy the day Max asked me to marry him. I’m really Mrs. Maxwell Davis.” She danced across the room and her dress slip over her thin frame.

“
Are you sure you’re going to be okay, Mom?” She thumbed away the tears rolling down my cheek. “You’ve been crying all day. I’m starting to worry about you. You knew I would to grow up one day and move away from home, didn’t you?”

“
Haven’t you heard of happy tears? And when you have my grandbabies and they grow up faster than you think. I give you permission to cry all the tears you want.” I reapplied my lipstick. “Besides, your father is taking me on a luxury trip so I won’t have time to worry. I’ll be sipping Bahamas Mammas by the pool during the day and playing craps into the night.” I laughed.

“
Just don’t lose too much money.” She stepped into a street-length white dress. “I’ll need your help and your checkbook to decorate our new loft.”

“
Is that so? Now that you’re Mrs. Maxwell Davis, I think you better start hitting
that
checkbook.”

“
Mom, be happy.” Her tone was more serious. “While I’m away we won’t talk every day and I want you to—”

“
Crystal, I have no intentions of calling you on your honeymoon. I’m fine, honey.” I reached for her hand. “Tell you what…I won’t worry about you if you promise not to worry about me.”

“
It’s a deal,” she said.

We sealed our agreement with a knowing look and smile. In a flash, the instant passed and we finished dressing. Before walking out of the room, I held her and she held on to me until we knew we needed to return to the reception.

“
Don’t forget your bouquet,” I said over my shoulder. She ran to the table and retrieved the white and yellow bundle of calla lilies.

“
Do you know how many women in that room are waiting to catch that bouquet and live happily ever after?” she said.

“
Yeah, your godmother Ursula is one that comes to mind. Aim it towards her.

“
Mom
, I can’t do that,” she blushed.

“
I was only kidding. Well, maybe I was a little serious; she is your godmother.”

Max was out of his tuxedo and in more casual attire too, and waiting for Crystal outside in the hallway. I walked up to him and placed her hand in his.

“
Take care of my baby, Max,” I said.

“
For the rest of my life, Ms. T.” He kissed her on the mouth like I wasn’t standing in front of them. I would have been embarrassed if his affection wasn’t directed towards my daughter. I left them in the hall.

Marco stood in the vestibule of the ornate hall. I saw him from the top of the stairs. Under the dazzling lights of the chandelier, his polished good looks left me awestruck. He spotted me and never took his eyes off me as I descended the stairs. The voice in my head yelled at me to ignore the desire in his eyes, but my heart screamed louder. He smiled me and my stomach knotted with fear. I wanted him. I wanted him more than I wanted my marriage.

“
I’m leaving now.” He stood close to me.

Too close.

“
Do you have to?” I asked. Knowing he was in the room made me feel happier. I wanted to touch him, kiss him, taste him. Dressed in his dark suit, with his hair slightly tousled, he looked so handsome I wanted to be in his arms. I could live in those arms.

“
Yes. But if you need me—”

I shook my head. This was wrong. “I won’t, Marco.” I bit my lip. “I can’t.” I placed my hand on his forearm. “I’ll be fine.”

His eyes locked with mine. The intensity of his stare shook my resolve. I wanted to touch him, press my hand against his heart to see it was beating as fast as mine. Then he turned and walked out.

Walter was seated back at the table. Maybe if I tried harder I could feel for him what I was beginning to feel for Marco. Buried deep inside, maybe there was enough love left for Walter to rekindle.

“
You look happy,” Walter said when exhaustion tugged me into the chair. The day seemed to run on forever.

“
I haven’t been this happy in a long time.”

“
Are you looking forward to our trip?”

He positioned himself closer to me. He wanted me to be happy, excited, maybe even thankful. So I tried. “Yes, very much. What made you decide on a trip? It seemed to come out of nowhere. I thought you were too busy at work to get away.”

“
You’ve been fussing so much lately, I think you need a little break.” He laughed.

“
Yeah, but you’ve been so distant and the last thing—”

“
Tracy, we’re going away, okay? So relax and try to enjoy it.” He patted my hand.

“
I think I can manage to relax, but it will take me some time to get used to your changing moods.”

“
Can’t a man love his wife?”

“
A man should love his wife every day, not just on special occasions.”

“
I do. This is my way of showing it.” He pulled me to the dance floor as a slow song began to play and drew me closer. I wrapped my hands around his waist and pressed my body against his, praying for my heart to race or my skin to tingle.

“
Okay everyone, the newlyweds are getting ready to leave. We want all the single women on the floor because after Crystal throws the bouquet, we’ll all go outside and wish them well,” the wedding coordinator announced.

Crystal’s single friends pushed to the front of the room. None of them seemed embarrassed to want to catch the bouquet like the men were with the garter. Ursula stood as close to the front as she could without elbowing someone. I gave her a finger wave. Crystal kissed her grandparents and the three of them shared a hug, then she kissed her father on the cheek before she reached me.

“
Be happy,” she whispered in my ear. She ran halfway up the stairs, turned her back and, without any preamble, tossed the bouquet very high into the air. Several women pushed to grab it. It was snatched out of the air by one of Crystal’s friends, who stood almost six feet tall.

***

As soon as I walked in the house I pulled off my shoes. Even though the heel on my sandals was only two inches I wanted to place my feet flat on the floor. I plopped down

in the kitchen chair and propped my feet up in the chair beside me.

“
Can I get you something?” Walter asked.

“
It’s wine o’clock. Give me a glass of wine.”

“
Don’t you think you’ve had enough wine for one day?” He dangled the bottle of Merlot in front of me.