Painfully Ordinary Special Edition (16 page)

The pain in my chest deepened.

“Cay?
I’m here if you need me,”
Leah whispered

“I know, and I love you
for it. I just don’t know if I can talk about him right now.” I choked up.

“It’s okay. I just wanted
you to know I was here if you need someone to talk to.”

“Thanks, Leah-poo. Just
knowing that makes me feel a little better.” I gave her a fragile smile.

Leah put one hand on the
hammock. “Oh man, they are still wet from the rain.” She groaned.

“Great. That just tops off
my fabulous day.” I swept one hand over them in frustration. Suddenly, we
were caught
off guard by a gust of warm air. When the wind
died down, we realized the hammocks were completely dry, as were our clothes.

“Wow! When did you learn
how to do that?” Leah asked in amazement.

I just stood there with my
mouth hanging open. “I have no idea. I wasn’t planning on doing that—it just
happened.” I rubbed the hem of my shirt with two fingers.

We settled down and tried
to get comfortable. At any other time, I would have found great solace in gently
swaying back and forth in the cool breeze. Tonight, I was restless, and I was
pretty sure
why.

Was I being so terribly
unreasonable? He said himself that he couldn’t stand the thought of me feeding on
another that way. Why should my feelings be any different? I hated feeling so
conflicted. There had to be another way to get him what he needed. Yes, I was part
human, but I was also part
Feydall
…an
Ethereal
. Who was to say I would even
be subject to the conversion? Ugh.

I was never going to get
any sleep at this rate. I climbed out of the hammock, walked back to the porch
and flipped through the music on Talon’s Zune. As I flipped through the
playlists, I found something that stopped me dead in my tracks.

He actually had a playlist
called ‘Caitlin’. I pressed ‘play all’ and walked back to my hammock while the
soft strains of the music gently floated through the cool night air. Swallowing
against the lump in my throat, I climbed back into the hammock more confused
than ever.

***

Once they cleared the tree
line and were well away from the girls, Jace quickly stepped in front of Talon and
stopped him.

“Talon, stop for a minute.
What exactly happened?”

Talon refused to meet his
gaze and attempted to step around him. He was still too frustrated to put his
scrambled thoughts into words.

“Nothing.
Let’s just finish our
patrol. We have a job to do.”

Jace put a hand on Talon’s
shoulder and shook his head. “Man, we have been through way too much together.
You are not being honest with me. You and Caitlin were fine when I walked away.
Well, fine is a bit of an understatement, I would say. What happened?”

Talon’s shoulders sagged.
He would eventually have to talk to
someone
and he knew he could trust Jace completely. “I let my guard down – that’s what
happened. I made the mistake of allowing myself to believe that she, or anyone
else, could accept me for anything less than the monster I am.”

“Monster?”
Jace asked. “What are you
talking about?”

“Jace, she started asking
me why I was so adamant that we had to go slowly. She thought I didn’t want
her.” He shook his head. His heart constricted at having to relive the
conversation with Caitlin. “Can you believe that? She still doesn’t understand
she brings light and laughter to my world. She insisted she was open-minded and
she could handle whatever I had to say. I made the mistake of telling her what
I am, how I feed. She was disgusted.”

“Disgusted? Wait, Talon.
What
exactly
did she say?” probed
Jace patiently.

“She said she couldn’t
handle it. I believe her exact words were ‘That, I cannot handle’. I tried to
explain to her the things that occur while feeding have nothing to do with
emotion and it’s quite simply a means to an end. If the donors don’t find it a
pleasurable experience, then why would they ever agree to be a donor? She got
very upset and asked me if I could handle it if she had told me the same.
Jace, by the gods!
The picture she drew with her words was a
scene of pure seduction. The thought of her holding another in her arms, and
hearing the donor’s cries of pleasure while her beautiful green eyes smoldered
with passion, ripped my heart to shreds.”

His voice rose as he felt
his self-control slip. Why did she always seem to have this effect on him?

“I was angry at a donor
who
doesn’t even exist
! What happened
to my control? I worked for centuries to achieve that level of discipline.” Talon
shook his head in shame. It was so embarrassing for him to have to admit even
that small weakness.

Jace looked at him with a
sad smile.

“I’d say love happened to
your control.” He patted Talon on the shoulder. “Give her some time. She
’s been forced
to deal with so much in such a short time.
We’ll find a way to work through this. We have faced much larger challenges and
come out victorious. Are you really willing to give up on your newfound
happiness so easily?”

Talon dropped his head and
looked at his feet. Hell no he wasn’t ready to give up– but was it selfish of
him to continue to fight for his own happiness?

“I really don’t know Jace. I would fight my way to the
ends of the world and back again for her. Yet, I have to wonder if the right
thing is
to just let
her go. I cannot change what I
am. I have to feed to survive and stay strong enough to protect her. If she
cannot accept that for what it is -- simply feeding—not love, then I’m causing
her pain by trying to make her stay. Do you see what I mean?”

Jace threw his hands up in
the air.

“You really want to know
what I
see?
I see two extremely strong-willed people
creating a great deal of unnecessary pain for
themselves
over a miscommunication. You both have some misguided notion you don’t deserve
to be happy. Talon, give her time. She’ll come around. We will figure out a
solution to this. Give her a little space and let her come to terms with the
changes in her life. If you try to force her to accept everything right now,
you are going to lose.”

Talon looked up. He was
relieved that he had shared his concerns with Jace. Perhaps Jace’s solution
would be best for everyone.

“Maybe you are right. I’ll
take myself out of the equation for a while. I’ll be here to protect her at all
costs, but will give her the time and space she needs to sort things out.”

Jace clapped him on the
back. “There you go. I’ll be here for you, as always. Who knew such a tiny girl
would be able to cause so many problems?” He chuckled.

Chapter 12

The Real World

I
awoke to the sound of
birds singing. Funny, I didn’t even remember falling asleep. I rolled over and
saw Leah sitting cross-legged in the middle of her hammock. Jace and Talon were
nowhere to
be seen
.

Ugh.
Talon
.

Everything from last night
came flooding back to me.

What was I going to do? I
just couldn’t stand the thought of him holding someone else in his arms. Obviously,
he didn’t feel the same way since I hadn’t seen him since our argument last
night. There had to be a compromise. Otherwise, whatever we had would end just
as quickly as it began.

“
Caiti, stop getting all worked up.”

“What?”

Leah sighed. “You know
what? Jace told me a little of what happened with you and Talon last night. Why
didn’t you tell me? Cay-bear, he’s still the same person. He cares for you.” She
grinned. “He cannot help what he has to eat any more than you can control how
much you hate macaroni and cheese.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Logic
tells me the same thing. Problem is, when I think of him feeding on someone, it
reminds me of how Tami watched him that first day at school. Leah, it makes me
sick to my stomach. I get so angry I shake all over. I tried to explain it to
him by putting himself in my shoes. I asked him if he would be okay with it if
it was the other way around, and he said no.”

Leah came over and sat
next to me, throwing her arm over my shoulder. “Cay-bear, sounds to me like you
are both suffering from a little jealousy. I’m sure we can come up with a way
around all this. First, we need to figure out how, and if, these rules apply to
us. Once we have that part sorted out, the rest will fall into place. The way I
see things, we’ve a larger, more immediate problem. Johr will be here to pick
us up tonight. We only have a few more hours here before we have to go back home.
Tomorrow we
will be back at cheer trying to act like none of
this ever happened
. The worst part is we may be doing it on our own. Who
knows if Johr and the rest of the
Turvata
will even allow them to return with us?”

I groaned. “Crap. I hadn’t
thought of it that way. That’s just great. I have to face Ryan and Tami again. Wow,
there’s
something to look forward to.”
I said sarcastically.

Leah giggled.
“Yeah.
Doing a little hand to hand combat with the
Accendersi
looks pretty good when you
compare it to high school.”

I rolled my eyes. “Here’s
to hoping I won’t be constantly making the lights flicker every time I get
mad.”

I chuckled and soon we
were laughing like fools and covering the majority of the backyard in
butterflies. I felt an instant relief. That is until my gaze lit on the back
door of my aunt’s house.

Talon and Jace were
watching from the back porch. Talon wore a pained expression.

“Good morning, pixie
girls!” Jace called, waving at us.

Leah beamed at him.
“Good morning yourself!”

Talon stood next to him
with his massive arms crossed over his chest and a confused look on his face,
but he remained silent. When he spotted me looking at him, his eyes flashed a
bright blue and he quickly glanced away.

Leah elbowed me in the
ribs. “Morning, Jace,” I mumbled. None of this was Jace’s fault, so it wasn’t
fair to take my frustrations out on him.

Jace quickly glanced from
me to Talon. He punched his friend lightly in the arm and Talon snapped back to
attention and faced us.

“Morning,
ladies.
Hope you slept well.”

Leah nodded emphatically. “Slept
like a baby.”

I murmured, “I wish I
could say the same. I didn’t sleep very peacefully last night.” I hadn’t slept
well at all and I placed the blame squarely on his shoulders. Leah frowned at
me. “Must have been all the excitement,” I continued lamely.

Jace strode over and
whispered into my ear. “We’ll figure it out. He’s my brother, and you’re my
little pixie princess. I promised to take care of you,
right?
He’s stubborn, but he’ll come around. You’ll see.”

I nodded and stared into
his eyes for a moment. Suddenly, I threw my arms around his neck, kissing him
on the cheek. Jace had given me the hope I so desperately wanted.

“I absolutely adore you,
but you know that, don’t you?”

Jace’s grin threatened to
split his face in half. Leah had her hands planted on her hips and stared at us
like
we had lost our minds. I caught Talon’s gaze out
of the corner of my eye. His eyes were blazing, and he clenched his teeth. He
stared at Jace, still not speaking directly to us.

I released Jace and gave
Leah a quick squeeze. “I’m going to go inside and see if Gail needs any help
with breakfast.” I was certain Talon could hear how hard my heart was pounding,
and I walked away as quickly as I could without breaking into a run.

 
I could feel Talon’s gaze burning into my back,
and I knew I was being a coward, but I just couldn’t handle facing him yet. Confrontation
would be inevitable before the day ended, but I wasn’t ready to tackle it first
thing in the morning. I needed to find some coffee, and fast. I peeked around
the corner in time to see Talon stalk off into the woods. I turned and sat just
inside the kitchen while listening to Leah and Jace through the screen door.

“Wow! That went well.
Don’t you think?” Leah asked sarcastically.

Jace sighed deeply.
“Neither one can see the forest for the trees. They are causing themselves
unnecessary anxiety.”

“Wait.
Last
I checked the trees don’t normally get off by feeding on each other. Can’t you
see how hard that is for her to accept?”

Wow she
was
getting wound
up, I could almost picture Leah planting one hand on her
hip and waving the other in the air.

“Seriously?”
Jace sounded astonished.
“It doesn’t mean anything at all. If you eat a steak and you really enjoy it,
does it mean you are romantically involved with the cow?”

Leah’s voice rose. “No,
but I’m also not normally listening to the cow moan in pleasure at the time!
You are talking about two totally different things!
It’s the
intimacy of the entire process that bothers her.
Think about it for a
minute, Jace. How would it affect you if I told you I had to feed that way,
with someone else in my arms and both of us got completely hot and bothered
during the entire procedure? You would just accept it blindly and it wouldn’t
bother you at all?”

“That’s different!” His
voice rose. “This is Talon we’re talking about. He couldn’t care for another at
this point even if he WANTED to.”

Leah was yelling.
“How?
How is it different? You’re making no sense at all!”

Jace’s voice dripped with
disbelief. “You really can’t see it? I give up!”

I peeked around the
doorframe to see him turn on his heel and stalk across the yard after Talon.

Leah just stared at him
with her mouth wide open. “What?” She yelled at no one in particular. “What the
hell
!” Leah screeched.

I opened the door a crack,
poking my head out. “What’s the matter?” As
if
I
didn’t already know.

“They are both wrong in
the head.”

“Huh? What happened?” I
worked hard to keep from smiling at her.

“They just don’t get it.”
She muttered.

“Well, I could’ve told you
that! What do you think caused all the tension last night?”

“Come back outside so we
can talk. I don’t want to be yelling across the yard.”

I chuckled and stepped out
the back door. “Okay, so what happened that has you so fired up? I can’t
remember the last time I saw you so frustrated.”

She grumbled. “I tried
explaining things to Jace as simply as I possibly could without using puppets! He
still didn’t understand why Talon’s ‘eating habits’ bother us. I swear I’m
going to have to grab someone and bite
them
on the neck to make him understand. He admitted he
didn’t like the idea of
me
feeding
that way. However, he says it’s ‘different’ and ‘this is Talon’ we are talking
about
. Then he said something about the fact that at this
point Talon couldn’t care for anyone else even if he wanted to, whatever the
hell that’s supposed to mean. When I told him I didn’t see what the difference
was, he threw his hands up in the air and walked away from me.
He walked away!
Can you believe that?”

I glanced at her
innocently.
“Puppets?
Really?
Maybe you should try it next time. Maybe it would help.” I was fighting back my
amusement.

Leah’s eyebrows came
together. “Knock it off. I am being serious. I swear, if you start …”

Just then, a trill escaped
my lips. I quickly stared at the ground. I knew if I made eye contact with her
at this point, I was going to be completely lost.

“Caitlin,” she warned. “I
mean it. I may just kill you.”

I made the tactical error
of looking in her eyes and burst into laughter.

“That’s it! You better run.”

I took her at her word and
ran for the hammocks, jumping into the first one I came to.
“Base!”

Leah was laughing so hard
she could hardly stand, and collapsed into the hammock next to me. “You freak. You
lose it at the worst times. I was trying to be serious.”

I had to take a minute to
catch my breath. “It’s your own fault. I was picturing you trying to explain
things to Jace with puppets. I couldn’t help it.”

Leah grinned. “Okay, you
got me there. It does make a
pretty funny
picture. Seriously
though, I wonder if it would help.” We burst into hysterics again.

“Two lunatics–not exactly
what I was planning on finding in the back yard,” Pops said with a wink.

We both sat up.
“Pops!
Did you bring breakfast? We are starving!”

“I promised, didn’t I?”

We hopped out of the
hammock and followed him into the house to grab our share of breakfast before
the rest of the pack appeared.

***

Jace stomped over to where
Talon was standing staring deep into the woods. “I am beginning to think this
whole thing is a test,” he snarled.

Talon turned from the
woods with unfocused eyes. He
was so caught up
in his
reaction to seeing Caitlin this morning that he hadn’t heard Jace approach. He
blinked several times before he responded.

“What’s a test?”

Jace motioned toward the
house with his hand.
“Being assigned to protect these two and
all the insanity which comes with it.
I tried to explain things to Leah
in the simplest of terms, but she just couldn’t grasp the concept.”

Talon raised an eyebrow. Jace
was normally so happy-go-lucky. Leah must have said something that really got
under his skin.

“So what happened?”

Jace started squirming.
“Well, um, I was sort of trying to explain to her why Caitlin really doesn’t
have anything to worry about. There is nothing romantic about the feeding
process. It is a matter of survival, not seduction.”

“How did she react? Did
she understand it at all?” Talon asked. He was afraid to hope that Leah had
understood.

“Hell
no!
She
was as stubborn as the other one. I even asked her when she eats a steak and
really enjoys
it,
does it mean she is romantically
involved with the cow?”

Talon chuckled. He
couldn’t even imagine how Leah would have looked at that statement. “What did
she say to that?”

Jace shrugged. “She
started yelling at me – something about not usually listening to the cow moan
in pleasure while she ate it. She just didn’t understand. I finally threw my
hands up in the air and walked away.”

Talon looked surprised. He
had only seen her temper flare once or twice and wasn’t sure how deep it
ran
. “Wow. I bet that didn’t go over very well.”

“I couldn’t tell you. I
never looked back.”

Talon cringed. That
probably wasn’t the best choice. “Ouch. You may pay for that one later”.

Jace looked at him
sideways. “You know, you may be right. We don’t need both of them mad. Who
knows what could happen?”

***

Leah and I were sitting at
the kitchen counter when the rest of the
Elders
arrived.

“Hey
girls!”

“How did you ladies
sleep?”

“Did those boys take good
care of you last night?”

I winced at the last
question. Gail watched me with sympathetic eyes. Sometimes I wondered how many
things she already knew about, but didn’t let on to everyone else.