Paper Cuts (11 page)

‘I wouldn’t argue with Full Tilt Plaid if I were you.’ He pats the back of a bulky and battered old chair that is covered in the ugliest green plaid imaginable. ‘This baby’s a certified antique.’

‘Old and
antique
aren’t the same thing, you know. An antique has value.’

‘This has value – to my old man. He bought it at a garage sale twenty years ago. First stick of furniture he ever owned.’

‘And he’s letting you drive it around the school yard?’

‘Mom let me take it since it’s for a good cause. Dad won’t be happy, though.’ He points to a tear in the upholstery. ‘It was a wicked ride. Did you catch it?’ He gives me a strange look, half hopeful, half sheepish.

‘I got here late. But I heard there were some spectacular wipeouts.’

His heightened color confirms my suspicions. ‘Plaid got the worst of it. She ain’t built for speed.’

‘She? That thing is not a “she”.’

Before he can respond, Coach Martin’s voice crackles over the loudspeaker. ‘All Mixed Heat participants to the starting line, please.’

Plaid’s driver starts pushing. ‘You coming?’ he asks.

‘Me? Why would I come?’

‘Because this is a two-person job,’ he says. ‘Start pushing.’

I intend to scoff, but somehow I find my hands on the
green upholstery and we push the chair to the starting line, where dozens of people jockey for the best position. ‘You’re on your own from here, uh …’

‘Russ,’ he says, wiping his hand on his jeans before offering it to me. ‘Russ Davis. But you can’t take off now: it’s the Mixed Heat.’

‘Which means?’

‘One dude, one chick, one chair.’ He motions for me to take a seat. ‘Let’s ride.’

‘You’ve got to be kidding,’ I say, backing away. ‘I’m not getting near that thing.’

‘But I need a copilot and they don’t come more aerodynamic than you. Whaddaya weigh?’

‘I am
so
not answering that!’

‘I give you one-ten tops,’ he says. ‘And you’re barely five-one.’

He advances on me, and I make a run for it.

‘Get back here,’ he says. ‘Small is beautiful!’

Russ catches up to me and tosses me over his shoulder. I try to scream as he carries me back, but my voice is
swallowed
by my own scarf.

In a moment we are ensconced on Full Tilt Plaid, and Russ’s pit crew appears out of the crowd. One of them hands Russ his helmet and plants a second helmet on my head. It’s so big it falls forward and blocks my view. Meanwhile, Russ’s other friend starts the engine.

‘I don’t want to do this,’ I say, and the words echo inside the helmet.

Russ lifts my visor and says, ‘Chill. You’re gonna love it.’

Some girls might like the idea of being squished between a cute guy and the arm of a chair, but given the way this plaid warrior performed earlier, it’s not for me. I don’t want to be known as the Luisa Perez who perished in a grisly chair crash.

‘Positions,’ Coach Martin announces over the mike.

Russ drops my visor and reaches across me to grab the controls and maneuver the chair between two others. Adjusting my helmet, I check out the line of chairs and see Izzy’s streaked ponytail poking under a silver helmet. She is perched on Carson’s lap and doesn’t appear to be a captive.

‘This isn’t going to work,’ Russ says.

Since I’m the one pinned into a plaid corner by his muscular arm, I have to agree. If the chair tries to throw me, there’s nowhere to go but up.

Russ pats his lap, and I barely hesitate before climbing aboard. It’s my chance to run for it, but for some reason I don’t take it.

‘Hold on,’ Russ says.

The plaid upholstery is too worn and shiny to get a proper grip, so I reach down and clutch his pant legs. This is more intimate than I expected to get with anyone today, let alone a guy I just met.

The starting pistol fires, and we lurch forward. Although we probably aren’t going all that fast, it sure feels like it. Full Tilt Plaid takes the first curve at such speed that a screech rips out of my mouth: ‘We’re going to die!’

‘Trust me!’ Russ yells back.

I bet guys always say that before a fatal accident. ‘Pull over! I want off! Now!’

Our chair pitches violently to one side as another vehicle smashes into us. I turn to get a look at the perpetrator: It’s Mac
Nificent
Landis with Mariah astride.

When we straighten out, Mac’s leather chair hits us again. It’s clearly intentional. I lift my visor and shout, ‘Back off!’

Mariah flips me the bird and Mac cackles wildly before coming at us again.

I squeeze Russ’s leg. ‘What are you waiting for? Hit it!’

Mariah is still cursing behind us when we cross the finish line after four laps. It’s all I can do to not seize the controls and run over her myself.

Full Tilt Plaid takes third place, and Russ offers me the ribbon.

‘Give it to your dad,’ I say, holding on to the chair to stay upright. My legs are weak, either from excitement or an overdose of testosterone. ‘She belongs to him.’

Russ plucks something from the chair and hides it in his fist while he grabs my wrist with his other hand. ‘Thanks. We make a good team.’

He leans down and kisses me on the cheek while placing something in my hand.

It’s a plaid-covered button.

Rachel’s message appears on the tiny screen of my cell phone:

Mean Girls on MTV 2nite. U watching?

Can’t
, I type back.
Grace hogging TV. Again.

‘Are you bitching about me to your little friends?’ Grace asks, grabbing the phone out of my hands as she comes into the kitchen.

‘I wouldn’t bore them to death by talking about you.’

‘On my dullest day I’m more interesting than you are.’

‘Maybe to the Donner crew, but not to normal people.’

She crushes her empty soda can with one hand. ‘Are you saying I’m stupid?’

With Grace, all roads lead to one destination. ‘No, I’m saying they’re easily amused.’

‘Because
they’re
stupid?’

‘I’m not calling anyone stupid, Grace.’

‘If you’re calling both Paz and me stupid, you must think Keira is stupid, too. You’re a snob.’

‘My niece is
brilliant
,’ I say, seizing on the easier issue. ‘Anyone can see that.’

This mollifies her. ‘She knows more words than any kid in this building.’

‘Yeah, she dropped the F-bomb the other day. Who taught her that?’

‘I’ve heard you use it a few times.’

The trill of my telephone, still in Grace’s hands, catapults me out of my seat. Russ Davis asked if he could call tonight, and I’ve been waiting eagerly. Last month I wouldn’t have seen myself with a guy who uses words like ‘wicked’ and
‘dude,’ but times have changed. Actually, I still don’t get the blond highlights, but a columnist must keep an open mind.

‘Give me that!’ I say.

Detecting the urgency in my voice, Grace instantly holds the phone out of my reach.

We struggle briefly, but I’m no match for her. With the phone over her head, she presses talk and yells up at it. ‘Gracie’s Escorts. How may I help you?’

‘Hello?’ It’s Russ’s voice and he sounds confused. ‘Hello?’

I jump at the phone, but miss by a few inches. ‘Russ?’

‘If you need a date for the evening, you’ve called the right place,’ Grace shouts. ‘We have all kinds of girls.’

‘I must have the wrong number,’ he says.

Grace backs away, fending me off with one hand as she lowers the phone to her mouth. She doesn’t intend to give up the game so quickly. ‘I’m sure you have the right number. It’s Russ, isn’t it?’ I can’t hear his answer, but Grace says, ‘Of course I know your name. I make it my business to know my client’s names. But don’t worry, discretion is a priority here at Gracie’s Escorts. My lips are sealed.’

Grace stops grinning long enough to pretend to zip her lips for my benefit.

I make another lunge, and she stops me with a flat hand to the sternum.

‘Luisa?’ she asks Russ. ‘We have a couple of Luisa’s on call. What’s your type? Short, dark and mouthy?’

This isn’t a battle I can fight on Grace’s terms. She is bigger, stronger and meaner. Fortunately I know her Achilles’ heel.

Ducking into the living room, I pick Keira up off the couch and carry her into the bedroom. My nerve almost fails, but I remind myself that Grace has tried to ruin my chances with every guy who’s ever shown the slightest interest in me. It’s time I started fighting back, and if it means fighting dirty, so be it.

‘Let’s play hide-and-seek, sweetie,’ I whisper to my niece. ‘You get under the bed, and I’ll tell Mommy to look for you. Stay very, very quiet, okay?’

With Keira hidden, I walk to the hall door and open it. ‘Grace,’ I call. ‘Keira’s out in the hall again. You left the door unchained.’

There’s a thud as my phone hits the linoleum and Grace races down the hall.

I pick up the phone and close the door. ‘Hi, Russ. Sorry about the comic interlude. My sister is an idiot.’

‘It’s okay, so is mine.’

He doesn’t say anything else, so I ask, ‘How’s it going?’

‘Good.’

‘Did you get your antique home in one piece?’

‘Nah. Tossed it into the Dumpster behind the school. Took six of us.’

‘May Plaid rest in peace.’

There’s another long silence, and I wait for him to fill it. Since he called me, I figure he’ll take the lead.

He doesn’t, and when the silence becomes uncomfortable, I jump back in. ‘So, did you tell your dad about the race?’

‘Yeah. He laughed.’

‘At which part?’

‘All of it.’

In the long pause that follows, I hear the television in the background on his end.

I have to speed this up. It won’t take Grace long to run down to the lobby and back up. I decide to drop a huge ask-me-out hint. ‘So, listen—’

‘Yes!’ he interrupts.

Is he a mind reader?

‘Buddy just did a flamingo!’

‘A flamingo?’ What is he talking about?

‘Turn your TV to Channel ninety-three. It’s a skateboarding competition.’

I’ve just risked my life at my sister’s hands for a guy who’s watching TV while we talk? ‘Maybe I should let you focus on the show.’

His voice is suddenly alert. ‘Don’t go.’

Hearing the distant slam of the stairwell door, I say, ‘I have to. Grace is coming back.’

Keira has come into the living room. ‘Mommy no find?’ she asks.

I nudge her into the middle of the room and back away. As the door to the apartment flies open, I lunge into the bathroom, slam the door, and lock it. This will buy me a couple of minutes while Grace finds something she can use to pick the lock.

‘Everything all right?’ Russ asks, now paying more attention.

‘Fine,’ I say brightly. ‘So …’

‘So, do you want to get together sometime?’

‘Sure.’

‘Great, I’m going to teach you to skateboard.’

‘Skateboard! I don’t know, Russ … I’m not very athletic.’

There’s the rattle of a pick in the lock, and I try to hold the door closed as Grace pushes on the other side.

‘You sound like you’re working out right now,’ he says. ‘With your low center of gravity, you’ll be a natural.’

I’d be insulted if he hadn’t said earlier that small is beautiful. At any rate, I don’t have time to quibble.

‘Okay, I’ll try it,’ I say, sliding across the floor as Grace shoves the door open. ‘Gotta go—’

THE WORD … FROM SCOOP
Now Who’s Sucking Dust?

Proving once again that Newshound doesn’t know her snout from her tail, the guys’ latest fundraiser was a roaring success. Pimp My Chair attracted 3,000 spectators, many of whom don’t even attend Dunfield. That’s 3,000 people who paid admission, sponsored riders, and pushed the guys’ team ahead of the girls’ again.

Scoop’s sharp eye detected a lot of girls in the crowd – maybe not fifty percent, but close to it. Pimp My Chair had major crossover appeal, and if Newshound can’t concede that, it must be because no one asked her to participate in the Mixed Heat. Personally, I’ve never gotten so much out of eight minutes in a desk chair.

The event offered nonstop entertainment, from Russ
Davis’s spectacular crash to Carson Cota’s even more spectacular win. And who will ever forget the sight of Mr Sparling piloting his rickety desk chair around the track with the lovely Principal Alvarez aboard? That little stunt raised $450. A wipeout would have topped a grand, but you can’t have everything.

I’ve been pondering what Newshound said about Dunfield men crushing on each other. Although Scoop can’t speak for everyone, he’s secure enough in his masculinity (and anonymity) to admit that he’s guy-crushing on Carson Cota. That ride was enough to make anyone’s heart pound.

Did Carson enter the race simply to impress his friends? Of course not. The guy loves speed. He loves competition. A performance like that comes straight from the heart, and that’s what impresses other guys. Pure artistry.

If anything, it’s Dunfield’s women who live to impress one another. You can’t make the simplest decision without taking a poll to see which way the estrogen blows. If your gal pals think you look good in blue, your whole wardrobe transforms. And if they think you should hold out for a guy with better hair, a cooler car, or higher social status, you do that, too. You never have an independent thought. After your friends finally endorse a guy, he discovers he’s dating all of you, with none of the fringe benefits.

Once again I wonder if Newshound’s attack is
motivated by personal experience. If I were a betting man (and after Casino Night, I am), I’d say Newshound got burned at the Dunfield Groove. Maybe no one asked her to dance – at least no one who shows well enough – and now she’s down on all guys.

Get over your bitterness, Newshound, and you may just get a date.

I crumple the
Bulletin
and turn up the volume on my iPod. If I weren’t sitting on a bus right now, I’d set a match to the paper. Scoop is so far off the mark. I am not bitter, and I am not a snob. It’s true that I didn’t want to dance with Curtis the tech geek, but that’s because he’s a pervert, not because he doesn’t ‘show’ well. I may not like Curtis, Mac or Scoop, but that hasn’t turned me off all men.

What’s more, I absolutely make my own decisions about guys. I do not depend on Rachel and Izzy to endorse my choices, although God knows I need their help to figure out what goes on in the male mind.

Take Tyler Milano, for example. He was so nice to me at the dance that I quickly resurrected the Arty FB dream. But then he didn’t call. After a week of fretting, Izzy pressured me into calling him, and I left a casual ‘just calling to say hi’ message. And he
still
didn’t call. Izzy says I should have been more specific in my voice mail, but seriously, if a guy is too stupid to take a big hint, it’s time to find a new FB.

Which brings us to Russ Davis. He has no trouble picking up the phone, but committing to an actual date is another
matter. Worse, he continues to watch TV throughout our one-sided conversations.

Romance is much more complicated than I imagined. I remember when I thought landing a boyfriend was as simple as filling an empty seat beside me at the school assembly. Back then, guys seemed so elusive. Now I know they’re easy enough to find and even to talk to, but impossible to understand. They have a mysterious – and sometimes malicious – way of viewing the world.

Someone nudges my backpack on the seat beside me. ‘Is this seat taken?’

I hear the question over my music but ignore it, keeping my eyes trained on the window. Obviously the seat is taken – by my backpack. That’s how I keep losers at bay. There are other free seats.

‘Excuse me,’ the voice repeats. ‘Could you move your backpack?’

I sigh. My policy is to move the backpack when asked directly. I’m not about to instigate a fight with some guy on a city bus; he could be armed. Pulling the backpack onto my lap, I continue to stare out the window as he slides into the seat beside me.

‘What are you listening to?’ he asks.

I sigh louder to let him know I’m not open to idle chitchat with strangers. Sulking is taking all my energy.

He tries again. ‘Carrying that attitude around must be exhausting.’

This gets my attention. I turn to see a guy with dark eyes,
unruly dark hair and smooth olive skin. The last time I saw him, he was wearing a hairnet. ‘Joey, right?’

‘Right. You working today?’

I nod, hoping he doesn’t plan to talk the whole way. I need time to shake off my mood before I get to the diner; I learned long ago that nobody tips a grumpy waitress. Besides, I have no intention of becoming too friendly with someone on Paz’s crew.

‘You finished with that?’ Joey asks, pointing to the crushed newspaper on my lap.

‘Sure, take it,’ I say. If he reads, he won’t talk.

He smoothes out the paper and starts to read Scoop’s column.

I replace my earbud, only to yank it out again a second later when he snickers. ‘That columnist,’ I say, ‘is an idiot.’

‘Well, he’s opinionated, that’s for sure,’ Joey replies.

I shrug and look out the window. ‘The
Bulletin
is lame anyway.’

‘No argument there.’ He tosses it back into my lap.

I happen to write for that paper, so I’m the only one who gets to call it lame. ‘You don’t even go to Dunfield,’ I remind him.

‘I can recognize lame when I see it. I think it’s universally understood.’

I suppress the urge to smile at this. Joey is obviously like Paz – too smart for Donner’s, but not smart enough to stick it out in school. They probably share the same desperate need to prove their brilliance. It’s the hallmark of insecurity.

Joey points to a building as we pass the corner of South La Salle and West Adams. ‘Did you know that The Rookery is the oldest high-rise in Chicago?’

Just as I thought. Paz is forever dropping useless bits of trivia into a conversation. I’ve learned that the best response is to sound bored. ‘Yeah?’

‘Finished in 1888 and still standing.’

I can tell he’s burning to tell me more, and if I were in a good mood I’d let him think he’s enriching my world. But I’m not in a good mood. ‘I guess Frank Lloyd Wright knew how to build them.’

Joey is silent for so long that I start to feel cheap for showing him up. Mom hates that kind of behavior. Turning, I add more kindly, ‘That’s a famous architect.’

‘I know who Wright is. But he didn’t design The Rookery. John Root did.’

He sounds convinced of that. ‘Really?’

‘It’s a common mistake,’ he says, ‘because Wright remodeled the lobby in 1905.’

Whatever. So he knows a few facts about architecture. There are information plaques all over town, and anyone who pays attention could pretend to be an expert. I may not pay attention, but I can call a bluff. ‘You seem to know a lot about buildings,’ I say. ‘Name your top five architects.’

‘That’s a tough one,’ Joey says.

I bet it is, Mr Fake Smarty-Pants.

‘I’d have to go with van der Rohe, Aalto, Gehry, Libeskind and, at number one, Antoni Gaudi.’

‘Gaudi?’ For all I know Joey is passing off a hockey team as architects, but if I keep him talking, cracks in his knowledge will eventually start to appear. ‘Why?’

‘Because his work is so organic,’ Joey says.

Organic? How does that relate to architecture?

‘You know, unrefined,’ he continues. ‘Gaudi designed this one apartment building that doesn’t have a straight line on it. Even the roof is a work of art. The chimneys look like dozens of little sculptures.’

‘I’ve never seen it,’ I say. ‘Is it downtown?’

He stares at me. ‘Well … downtown Barcelona, I guess. Gaudi lived in Spain in the late 1800s.’

The jig is officially up. ‘I knew that.’

‘Sure you did,’ he says, laughing.

It’s more gracious than Paz would have been in the same situation. ‘So you’ve been to Spain?’

‘Are you kidding? I’ve never been on a plane. But I took a bus to Florida once.’

‘Well, that’s more than I’ve done.’

Joey tells me that his mother moved to Tampa with his two sisters after his parents split six years ago. He stayed behind with his father, who worked such long hours in construction that Joey has been virtually fending for himself ever since.

‘Grace and I had to be pretty independent too,’ I say, pulling out my other earbud and resigning myself to the conversation.

‘At least you stayed in school,’ he says. ‘It’s hard to be motivated when you’ve got a lot of freedom.’

‘How did you become so interested in architecture?’

‘My dad used to take me to his construction sites. I got my first hard hat and steel-toe boots when I was six.’ He grins at the memory. ‘I loved all of it: the machines, the noise, the blueprints. Imagine how it must feel to design a building that will stand for centuries after you die. Wouldn’t it be cool to leave a legacy like that?’

I nod, thinking it’s a shame he probably won’t be able to achieve that vision. Even with an education, leaving a lasting legacy is a rarity. ‘Why don’t you work in construction instead of at Donner’s?’

Joey frowns. ‘Because I was on my dad’s job site the day he got hit by a steel post. He’ll never be able to work in construction again.’

Now he’s the one staring out the window.

‘I’m sorry,’ I say, feeling awkward.

Joey shrugs. ‘It is what it is. I know you don’t have it easy at home either.’

My defenses prickle. Joey barely knows me, and if he thinks I have it hard at home, Paz has been talking. ‘We’re fine,’ I say, plugging my earbuds back in.

Joey backpedals. ‘I just mean that I know your mom has had to work really hard to raise you guys on her own. Paz says he wants to do as well for Grace and the baby.’

‘He left them,’ I point out.

‘I heard it was the other way around.’

‘Well, don’t believe what you hear at Donner’s.’ I throw him a warning look, but he doesn’t take the hint.

‘Paz is going back to school someday, you know. He says if your mom can save for your college education on a tight budget, he can too.’

This startles a response out of me. ‘She’s not saving for me.’

‘That’s why she picks up so many extra shifts. At least according to Grace.’

My mother has never said a word to me about college, and I highly doubt this virtual stranger knows more about us than I do. It must be a story Grace concocted to make herself feel better about my mother’s working so hard for Keira. I certainly wouldn’t want to be the one adding lines to her face.

‘For your information,’ I say, ‘my mother is earning extra money to help Grace with the baby. Not that it’s any of your business.’

Joey leans back in his seat. ‘Sorry. I’m just telling you what I heard.’

‘This is my stop.’ It’s stating the obvious, since Joey gets off at the same one. He stands, and we wait in silence until the door opens.

Outside, he picks up where he left off. ‘I didn’t mean to offend you.’

‘Then don’t talk about my family like you know us.’

‘Sorry,’ he repeats, sticking to my side.

I pick up my pace. ‘Do me a favor? Sit in Shirley’s section today.’

I needn’t have worried, because Paz’s crew doesn’t show up. Now and then they go up the street for a sub or pizza. I’m sure it has nothing to do with my conversation with Joey.

Dan complains about business being slow, but the downtime gives me a chance to catch up on my homework. He’s helping me with a history project on the expansion of the West. By ‘helping me,’ I mean he’s trying to seize the pen and write it himself. He actually brought in a prize set of antique spurs to inspire me. If we don’t end up with a good grade, someone will be very disappointed.