Paper Cuts (10 page)

Like her namesake, Mariah is wearing short shorts, high heels, and a top that would qualify as a bra in my wardrobe. The Understudies are equally underdressed. Either the Dunfield dress code doesn’t apply after hours, or the teachers have decided to turn a blind eye because Mariah’s team is raking in so much money for the cause. Although Mariah delegates most of the work to her legions of fans, you have to give her credit for scoring one hit after another.

Jason is waiting for us by the locker room door, as promised. ‘You look amazing,’ he tells Rachel, kissing her cheek. ‘And you guys, too. Very hot.’

My eyes meet Rachel’s, and she gives me a strained smile. We’re both thinking about what Scoop said about how guys minds work. Jason’s smile seems so sincere that I can’t believe he’s imagining anything tasteless.

I hope Jason turns out to be as nice as he seems, because Rachel is head over heels. The only hitch is that her parents still don’t know about him. While she’s hinted that she likes
someone, they automatically assumed he’s Jewish, and so far she hasn’t enlightened them. Jason’s grandmother is only half Jewish, but Rach is banking on a few drops of the right blood being enough to win over her parents.

After Jason and Rachel leave to dance, Izzy and I circulate, pushing through the crowd.

‘There are too many people here,’ she complains. ‘We’ll never find Carson and Mac.’

‘I already saw Mac. He was at the drinks table with his friends.’

Izzy looks at me as if my curls have gone limp. ‘And you didn’t say hi?’

‘I don’t think he noticed me. I didn’t want to disturb him.’

‘Uh, news flash: Every guy in this room is hoping to be disturbed by a cute girl. Let’s go back and see if he’s still there.’

‘Later,’ I say, but Izzy’s already changing course like a missile locking on target.

‘Mac liked you as of this afternoon, but some cheerleader is probably sweeping him off his feet tonight. We don’t have forever to find the right guy, Lu. The pool will dry up in ten years, tops.’

‘Ten? That’s crazy. Look at your aunt Alicia. She’s still dating.’

‘Yeah, one jerk after another. And how about your mom? When’s the last time she had a date?’

Before she married my father, as far as I can tell.

Izzy takes my silence as victory. ‘All you have to do is ask him to dance.’

Like that’s a total breeze. ‘Why can’t I sort of lurk until he asks me?’

‘Ten years, that’s why. Carp diem.’

‘That’s car-
pay
diem. A carp is a fish.’

‘You’re the writer, not me.’

Mac is still at the drinks table surrounded by seven or eight of his jock friends when we get there. Izzy gives me a little shove, but my feet are rooted to the floor.

‘I can’t do it,’ I whisper. ‘What if he says no?’

‘He’s not going to say no. It’s just one dance.’

‘One dance with Mac Landis,’ I remind her. ‘Dunfield all-star.’

‘The same guy who practically asked you out this afternoon.’

At this moment, Mac’s eyes happen to light on me. There’s a brief flicker of what appears to be admiration on his face, but the fact that he doesn’t crack a smile isn’t encouraging.

‘If he’s interested he’ll walk over here and ask me,’ I say.

‘He’s probably saying the same thing to his friends right now. Maybe he’s shy. Just because he’s popular doesn’t mean it’s easy being Mac Landis.’

Easier than being one of the many Luisa Perezes, I’m sure. ‘He’s not shy. Look at how he behaves around Mariah.’

‘That’s because he doesn’t respect her. You earned his respect by fighting him off at the planetarium and now he’s intimidated.’

I laugh. ‘You’re really stretching.’

‘All I’m saying is, sometimes you have to help the process along.’

As she speaks she’s easing me ever closer to Mac. Giving me one last push, she whispers, ‘Good luck,’ and races toward Carson, who has just arrived.

I’m practically standing among Mac’s posse, but no one acknowledges me. If I want to be noticed I am going to have to speak up. The question is, do I want to step out of the faceless ranks of the Luisa Perezes and put my pride on the line?

I should just ask Mac to dance. Yes, it’s a risk, but not a huge one. The guy showed up at my workplace twice in the space of a week. I’ve already spent hours talking to him. Besides, he’s just a guy, and if I’m even starting to consider a career in journalism I’ll have to get used to putting myself in uncomfortable situations.

It’s moments like these that define a person. I can complain about being invisible for ever, or I can ask to be seen and perhaps change the course of my high school life.

Pulling my shoulders back, I straighten to my full, nearly normal height (thanks to Izzy’s heels), and do what any self-respecting, modern, intelligent woman would do.

I order a drink.

In the time it takes for the kid behind the table to hand me a soda and count out my change, the posse breaks apart, leaving Mac with just one other guy. Unfortunately, the guy is Morgan McGee – or Morgan the Moron, as he was known at Lincoln Elementary. Like Mac, Morgan eventually grew into sports
prowess, and although his IQ didn’t change, the term Moron fell into disuse. I’ve never had much to do with him, but the deadly combination of size and stupidity makes me nervous.

Still, I am determined to make my move. Covering the few steps that separate Mac and me, I say, ‘Hi.’

Morgan is describing a move on the basketball court and doesn’t even pause.

‘Hi,’ I repeat, much louder.

Morgan turns to stare down at me. ‘What?’

I direct my full attention to Mac and ask, ‘Doyouwanttodance?’ The words tumble out so fast they run together.

Morgan frowns. ‘Do we know her?’

With an almost imperceptible nod, Mac says, ‘The auction.’

‘She must have got her money’s worth if she’s back for more,’ Morgan says.

An explosion in my head prevents me from responding.

Mac says, ‘Look, uh … I don’t dance,’ he says, his voice completely and utterly flat. ‘Ever.’

‘Oh. Okay. No problem.’ I’m surprised to see that he already appears farther away when I didn’t feel my feet move.

‘You got your date,’ Morgan calls after me. ‘Don’t be greedy.’

I turn to make my getaway, and someone sideswipes me.

‘Watch where you’re going, Coconut,’ Mariah says. She pushes past me to slide her arm around Mac’s waist. ‘I need you.’

He drops his arm over her shoulder. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘It’s that geek from the auction,’ she says, pouting. ‘He won’t leave me alone.’

Morgan points to me. ‘Mac’s having the same problem.’

‘You’ve got to be kidding me, Coconut,’ Mariah says. You can’t possibly think—’

Mac cuts her off. ‘Where’s the geek?’

Behind us, someone calls her name. It’s Curtis, and he’s wearing the baseball cap with the hidden camera. ‘You owe me a dance,’ he reminds Mariah. ‘I rigged up the sound system like you asked and dubbed fifty copies of your demo reel.’

Mariah gives him a strained smile. ‘I appreciated your support, Kermit, but remember, it’s not personal. It’s all for the Literacy Challenge.’

‘You said you’d dance with me,’ he repeats stubbornly.

‘And I will,’ she says. ‘But Mac asked me first, so I’ll have to catch up with you later.’

Mac follows her to the dance floor, and the guy who doesn’t dance –
ever
– is soon draped over her with his hands on her butt.

Now I know what happens when you ask to be noticed: humiliation. No wonder Mac seeks me out at the diner instead of just chatting with me at Dunfield: he’s ashamed to be seen with me. Among his people, he needs to be with the right type of girl, and I clearly don’t qualify. I feel like crying, but I won’t. Not now, anyway.

‘Would you like to dance?’ Curtis asks, peering at me through dirty glasses.

‘No thank you,’ I say. ‘I’m actually leaving as soon as I find my friends.’

‘You have time for one dance,’ he says, obviously less deterred by rejection than I am. Without waiting for a response, he starts jerking spasmodically on the spot. His arms are white and rubbery, and his eyes half closed as he blisses out on the music.

We are not on the dance floor. We are yards from the dance floor. We are surrounded by a crowd – a crowd that is parting to watch the show.

‘I’m sorry,’ I say, starting to walk away. ‘I really have to go.’

In a flash, Curtis circles me and starts flailing again. ‘Just one dance.’

I dart the other way, but he cuts me off. He is dancing
at
me. It’s a weird sort of assault. All I can do is stand there and watch, speechless with embarrassment. Taking this as encouragement, Curtis bucks his hips in my direction.

All eyes are on us. In the distance, Mariah is leaning on Mac, laughing as she watches the show. Beside me, Morgan’s guffaw shakes the drinks table.

Tears well up in my eyes, and I vow to myself that if I make it out of this with a shred of dignity, I will never again ask to be noticed.

Someone takes my hand and squeezes. ‘Dance with me?’

I glance up to find Tyler Milano at my side. Even as I’m choking out a ‘Yes,’ he is towing me onto the dance floor, away from the writhing Curtis. Once the crowd closes behind us, he turns.

Thank you so much,’ I say. ‘You really are a superhero.’

‘It’s okay,’ he says. ‘I like to dance.’

He’s good at it, too. Much better than I am, especially when hobbled by humiliation and footwear a size too large. ‘I owe you, Tyler.’

‘You do,’ he agrees. ‘Because of you, half the Dunfield population is under the impression that I date guys.’

‘Untrue. The guy who won your tickets sent out a news release confirming his heterosexuality.’

‘You know how it goes: the more you protest, the guiltier you look. Not that there’s anything wrong with dating guys. If you actually like guys.’

‘I know how to make it up to you,’ I say. ‘I’ll set you up with a nice girl.’

‘Not just a nice girl – a
hot
girl.’

I laugh. ‘Okay, a hot girl.’

‘Given how humiliated I was, I think you’re going to have to make that
two
hot girls – at the same time.’

‘Dream on,’ I say. ‘I will set up a date with
one
hot girl and make sure she gets the word out about how great you are.’

‘Deal,’ Tyler says. ‘On one condition: the hot girl has to be you.’

I spin happily under the disco ball, relieved to have gotten my priorities in order before it’s too late. The all-star has nothing on Mr Fantastic.

Rachel, Izzy, and I debrief on the way home, wedged in the back of Izzy’s dad’s old hatchback. He likes to have his toolbox beside him on the passenger seat at all times since the car breaks down often.

I act out all the parts of Mac, Curtis and Tyler, to a mixed reaction of sympathy, disgust and satisfaction.

‘I’m so glad you’ve got another chance with Tyler,’ Rachel says, her hopes of double-dating reigniting.

‘I am too, but I still worry he might be Scoop.’ Lowering my voice, I describe how he mentioned an interest in a threesome. ‘Plus, he was wearing a Strokes T-shirt. He was at the concert last week.’

‘Tyler and thousands of other people,’ Rachel says.

‘He’s too nice to be Scoop,’ Izzy says.

I turn to glare at the side of her head. ‘Your opinions on guys aren’t very reliable.’

She sighs. ‘I’m sorry about encouraging you to ask Mac to dance. I honestly thought he’d say yes. But at least it saved you from wasting another thought on him. Tyler’s the better man.’

‘Not if he’s Scoop.’

‘Every guy you meet can’t be Scoop,’ Rachel says. ‘Anyway, it’s just a column. Scoop is trying to get a rise out of readers.’

‘Just like you are,’ Izzy adds slyly.

‘I am not! I believe what I write.’

‘Your views are more extreme in print, though,’ Rachel says. ‘You’re pretty critical of guys.’

‘What’s happened to you?’ I ask. ‘You totally backed me before.’

‘We love your column,’ Rachel says. ‘I’m just saying it’s possible that Scoop is exaggerating his views to create a persona.’

Since when is Rachel the type to drop terms like ‘persona’ into casual conversation? She doesn’t even like English. Obviously she has allowed herself to be swayed by Jason’s views. And Izzy, who ended up dancing for a full hour with Carson, is no better. They have succumbed to pheromones.

One day, when their heads have cleared, they’ll look back on my columns and realize I was more than fair to the guys at this school.

In the meantime, I give them the silent treatment to punish them for their lack of support. They’re so busy comparing notes about their guys, however, that they don’t even notice.

 Mr Sparling looks up from my draft and stares at me. ‘Are you sure you want to say that all guys are spineless?’

‘I didn’t say they’re
all
spineless.’

‘Just Dunfield guys.’ He leans back in his chair. ‘That might make Newshound rather unpopular.’

No more unpopular than Lu Perez, a girl who guys like Mac Landis are too ashamed to acknowledge within the walls of Dunfield. As I see it, I don’t have much to lose.

‘It’s not a popularity contest, right?’ I ask. Over the past few weeks I’ve become more comfortable speaking my mind to Mr Sparling – the editor, if not the teacher. ‘A columnist can’t afford to worry about what people think of her. That’s why you wanted us to be anonymous.’

‘I didn’t tell you to alienate a whole gender.’

His
gender. I bet he isn’t complaining to Scoop, whose
words are even more inflammatory. ‘You wanted us to feel free to express our feelings, so I am. I can’t believe you’re going to start censoring me now.’

Mr Sparling’s eyes narrow behind his glasses. I suppose no English teacher wants to be accused of squelching free speech, but columnists have to push buttons sometimes – it’s part of the game. I know this because I’ve been researching some of the columnists he recommended. Whether they’re writing humor pieces, or about sports, or politics, they all seem to push buttons. They have strong opinions. They say what other people would say if they only had the guts. Writers don’t get offered a prime chunk of newspaper real estate for being wishy-washy.

‘No one is censoring your opinions,’ he says. ‘But Mrs Alvarez is concerned that “The Word” is drifting from the Literacy Challenge.’

‘The whole column’s about the Literacy Challenge,’ I insist. ‘Besides,
she’s
the one who pitted the guys against the girls. She
wanted
to create sparks.’

Mr Sparling ponders this for a moment before nodding. ‘True enough.’

‘So you’ll run the column as it is?’ I ask, convinced there’s a hitch.

‘It’s a little long,’ he says. ‘I told you to keep it to four hundred words.’

‘But I had a lot to say this week, especially with reporting the school board results. Doesn’t that deserve a few extra words?’

‘I guess so,’ he says. ‘This time.’ He picks up his red pencil and scratches something out before sliding it toward me. The word ‘Buzzkill’ has been replaced by ‘Alvarez.’

‘She knows we call her that,’ I say.

‘She also knows who’s behind the Newshound disguise.’

‘I’m willing to take risks to speak for the people.’

He sighs. ‘Pick your battles, Lu.’

I push the copy back to him. ‘Okay. You win.’

‘Your editor is not the enemy. But he does have to keep the publisher happy, or she’ll take away your platform.’

I check to see if he’s joking. ‘You mean Mrs A could cancel the column?’ The thought worries me more than I expect.

‘She could, but she probably won’t,’ he says. ‘Since “The Word” first appeared in the
Bulletin
, we’ve quadrupled our initial print run, and we’re still running out of copies. I don’t think Principal Alvarez will want to mess with something that has actually gotten Dunfield students reading.’

He smiles, obviously pleased that this is working out so well.

As I stand to leave, Mr Sparling stops me. ‘Today’s fundraiser doesn’t start for an hour, right?’

I was going to catch up with Rachel and Izzy in the cafeteria, but if my editor wants me to stick around and debate the freedom of the press, who am I to say no? ‘Right,’ I confirm.

‘Good. Spend some time in the library. Your last homework assignment was a little slapdash.’

And just like that, my cool editor morphs back into my English teacher.

As I step out of the office, Mac Landis almost walks into me. ‘Oh, hi,’ he says, obviously taken aback.

I make a show of looking in all directions before answering. ‘Are you speaking to me? Here in a hallway, where anyone could see you? What about your rep?’

He examines his Nikes. ‘You’re mad about the other night.’

‘I’m not mad,’ I say. ‘Okay I
am
mad – at myself for falling for your nice-guy act. I thought I was a better judge of character.’

His blue eyes bounce up. ‘You don’t know what it’s like to—’

‘To be Mac Landis, basketball star? I can’t even imagine the pressure you’re under.’

Mr Sparling’s voice drifts out of the office. ‘Mac, do you want help with that assignment or not?’

Mac’s scowls. ‘Sparling’s been on my case for weeks, and my coach says I’m off the team if I don’t pass English.’

Obviously Mac isn’t Scoop. From the sounds of it he’s a lousy writer, and Scoop, for all his flaws, is not.

As I turn to go, Mac calls after me: ‘You won’t tell anyone, will you, Stargazer?’

‘Don’t call me that,’ I say. ‘And you should be a little nicer to people if you want them to do you favors.’

After the way he treated me, I see no need to put Mac’s mind at ease. But I won’t tell anyone his secret. If I can help it, I’ll never mention his name again.

I stand under the enormous PIMP MY CHAIR banner, waiting for Izzy and Rachel. I texted them to meet me here, knowing the event would be nearly over by the time we found each other in this crowd.

Nearly half the student body has assembled for the guys’ latest testosterone fest. The student parking lot has been converted into a racecourse shaped like a figure eight, complete with portable bleachers. There are banners advertising local businesses, and food and drink vendors are scattered everywhere. From the clips I’ve seen on the sports news, this looks pretty authentic.

Teams have been working for weeks to rig small engines to different kinds of chairs, and today they’ll be competing in time trials. The guys have raised money by selling tickets to the event itself, and each team also had to find sponsors to pledge donations based on the number and speed of laps the chairs complete.

It seems stupid to me, but it could be good for a laugh. I assume that’s what all the other girls milling around me think, too. Either that or they’re here to meet guys, which is more likely.

‘There you are,’ Rachel says as the girls come up behind me. ‘I was afraid you were going to miss the whole thing.’

I’m happy to see they’re both alone. Although it hasn’t been that long since Jason and Carson arrived on the scene, somehow I already miss my friends. It’s weird, because we’ve spent more time together than ever since the Literacy Challenge started.

‘Anything good so far?’ I ask.

Around us, the crowd cheers as a purple desk chair whizzes past and crashes into orange pylons. A guy in a purple jacket dusts himself off and raises a hand to signal he’s okay. Meanwhile, his ‘pit crew’ carries the demolished chair off the track.

‘A couple of spectacular wipeouts, but no major injuries,’ Izzy says. ‘Carson’s up next.’

Three guys in silver jackets push an aluminum chair to the starting position. One of them is wearing a silver helmet, and he turns to wave in our general direction. Izzy stands on tiptoes to wave back excitedly.

‘Ah,’ I say, examining the broad streaks of silver that have appeared in Izzy’s hair. ‘That explains a lot.’

Carson straps himself into the chair as his team fires up the tiny engine. At the sound of the starter pistol, the chair takes off like a shot. Using the joysticks rigged to the arms of the chair, Carson maneuvers his machine around the first bank of pylons. He shoots down the straightaway, but on the second curve the chair swings out wide.

Izzy clutches my arm. ‘He’s going too fast!’

Regaining control of the chair, Carson makes the turn safely, and after that it’s smooth sailing for twelve laps until the engine sputters to a stop, out of gas. Amid the cheers, Carson pulls off his helmet and blows Izzy a kiss. She’s already running toward him, silvery ponytail swinging. It’s a total
Top Gun
moment.

The crowd’s cheer grows as Mac Landis settles into a
leather chair at the starting line. His pit crew is prancing around him wearing skintight, black vinyl jumpsuits. It’s Mariah and the Understudies, and the word
MacNificent
is emblazoned across their chests in red letters.

Rachel laughs at my expression. ‘To think that could have been you,’ she says.

Mariah kisses Mac with enough suction to take the chair along with it.

‘That would never have been me,’ I say. ‘I don’t do vinyl.’

‘I don’t think they’re a couple,’ Rachel says, reading my mind. ‘It’s just a show for the cameras.’ She points to the crew from the local television station.

‘I don’t care if they
are
a couple,’ I say. ‘I’m just surprised Mariah is putting pit duty before dancing.’

Jason comes up behind us to watch the race with Rachel, and they become so absorbed that they don’t see me slip away. I have no interest in watching Mac’s ride. My time would be better spent trying to bump into Tyler ‘accidentally.’ I expected him to call after the dance, but he hasn’t. In fact, I haven’t run into him once in a full week, and I don’t know what to make of it. Maybe Mr Fantastic has reunited with Sue Storm.

I haven’t gone far when a large wing chair rolls directly into my path.

‘Chairs have the right of way,’ says the guy pushing it.

‘Show me the bylaw,’ I say. I’m not really in the mood to meet new guys, but if I were, this one would be worth meeting. Even with helmet head and engine grease smeared
across his cheek, he’s cute. I’m not sure what to think about the grown-out blond highlights, but I definitely like his hazel eyes.