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Authors: Yvonne Collins

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Rachel, Izzy and I regroup just before 1 p.m. Since the hall monitor made me doff the hat and shades, I enter the cafeteria to glares and hisses.

‘Holy hostile,’ Izzy says, glancing around. ‘Has it been this bad all day?’

‘This is nothing,’ I reply. ‘My homeroom class booed when I walked in.’

‘Didn’t the teacher stop them?’

‘I think she started it.’

I fill them in on the rest of my morning, but like everyone else, they’re out of good ideas.

Someone walks by and deliberately knocks my water so that it spills into my lap. The ripple of laughter proves that everyone really is watching me.

‘This is brutal,’ Rachel whispers.

It is, but I’m still glad I came back. If I want to graduate, I have no choice but to try to live this down. And as long as no one beats me senseless, I can take the hazing.

‘Life was easier when no one except the other ten Luisa Perezes knew my name.’

‘Nine,’ Izzy corrects. ‘The one in my homeroom just announced she’ll be using her middle name so as not to be confused with you.’

‘Ouch,’ I say. ‘Add that to my two prank calls last night.’

We look up to see Jason Baca and Tyler Milano standing beside us.

‘Well, I thought your column rocked,’ Jason says. ‘And I’m sorry it got ugly at the gala.’

I smile up at him gratefully. ‘You’re the first student to be nice to me today – other than these two.’

‘I’ll be number four,’ Tyler says. ‘I enjoyed your column,
too. When I designed the website for Mr Sparling I read all of them.’

So
that’s
why he had copies of the column on his computer. ‘Thanks, Tyler. I’m sorry I blew it for everyone.’

‘We’d never have made the top three without “The Word”, Tyler says.

I stare at him, realizing that I should have stuck with Mr Fantastic all along. Tyler might not be my soul mate, but he’s a hell of a lot closer to fitting the glass sneaker than Joey is.

As if sensing my thoughts, Tyler adds, ‘My girlfriend loved your column. But Scoop’s totally cracked me up.’

Okay, so he’s not my prince. But Jason might still be Rachel’s. He keeps staring at her when he thinks she won’t notice. ‘She still likes you, Jason,’ I say. Rachel gives me an indignant look. ‘Well, you do. And he likes you too. Believe me, there are worse things than parental trouble.’

Rachel looks up at Jason and shrugs. ‘If he does, he can call me – on my cell phone – anytime.’

They exchange a smile, and Tyler and Jason walk away.

‘At least one of us gets a happy ending,’ Izzy says.

I point to Mariah approaching with Mac and the Understudies. ‘Mine is getting more tragic by the second.’

‘Well, if it isn’t the famous Newshound, who left the party with her tail between her legs,’ Mariah says. ‘Mac and I worked hard to win that competition, and you ruined it.’

I stand to face her. I deserve crap from some people, but
not from her. ‘If it weren’t for “The Word” and my special guest, we wouldn’t have raised nearly as much as we did, Mariah. And as for leaving the gala, it might not have happened if you’d kept your big mouth shut.’

‘I could still call the cops on your sister,’ she says, pointing out a bruise on her arm the approximate size and shape of Grace’s hand.

‘Go ahead. But Grace never forgets a grudge.’

‘The only reason anyone read “The Turd” was to laugh at you and your loser boyfriend anyway.’

At one time I’d have believed that, but not anymore. Somewhere along the line I had gained a little confidence. ‘Actually, you got a lot out of Newshound’s advice. And I want you to know that I’m still here for you.’

Behind her, Mac and the Understudies snicker.

She squints at them before jabbing me with a long nail. I notice it’s freshly stenciled and that she has reverted to her old uniform of skanky yoga wear. ‘I would never –
never
– take advice from you. Especially about relationships. I took another look at your columns last night—’

‘I’m touched.’

Mariah continues smoothly, ‘—and I couldn’t help but laugh at how Mr Sensitive played you to get between the sheets. But then, if I were you I’d probably be so grateful someone was willing to sleep with me that I’d have been that gullible too.’

At this point Mac intervenes. ‘You’ve said your piece, Mariah. Let’s go.’

‘I’ll tell you when it’s time to go,’ she says, backing away anyway. ‘Better stay out of my face, Coco-slut.’

‘Does this mean I don’t get your VIP number?’ I call after her.

She offers a string of Spanish expletives that generates a round of applause.

‘Put a sock in the whining,’ Dan says as I plow through my second slice of coconut cream pie. ‘I pay you to serve, not complain, and there’s a customer in your section.’

Sighing, I head out front, only to discover there’s a mutiny afoot. While Dan distracted me in the kitchen, someone set up foot-high chocolate lettering on table four that reads ‘SORRY.’ There’s a white rose protruding from the O and dark eyes peering at me over the R’s.

My first instinct is to return to the kitchen, but I realize it’s better to go over there and explain in no uncertain terms who gets sole custody of the diner. If it were up to me, Joey Carella would never taste another Rodeo Burger.

‘What do you want?’ I ask.

‘A large slice of humble pie?’

‘We don’t serve that here.’

‘Sure we do,’ Dan calls. ‘But you ate it all.’

I glance over my shoulder at him. ‘Do you mind?’

‘Give the boy a chance,’ he says.

‘I don’t think so.’ I turn back to Joey. ‘All the discount chocolate in the world can’t fix what you did to my reputation.’

‘For the record, I paid full price for the S and the Y,’ he says. ‘But anyone with half a brain knows that column was pure entertainment. Have guys come around today looking for a good time?’

‘Right now, no one would touch me with the ten-foot pole Scoop mentioned. I’m not ready to
saddle up
the next mule anyway.’

‘You made me out to be a spineless—’

‘Eunuch. Your word, not mine, by the way. Maybe the guys thought so, but I guarantee you the girls didn’t. Do you really think making me look easy is the same thing as making you look sensitive?’

He opens his mouth to reply and closes it again.

‘You knew it was bad. That’s why you avoided me the whole week before the gala, isn’t it?’

‘At least I tried to ask you to come with me. You can’t say that.’

‘Maybe not, but at least I portrayed you as a decent, caring guy. You, on the other hand, portrayed me as a slut.’

Joey leans forward. ‘You’re exaggerating. If I hinted that things were a little hotter between us than they were, it was to get a rise out of Newshound. That’s the dynamic that made our column so popular.’ He slumps back into his chair. ‘And maybe I was overcompensating a little for feeling outclassed.’

It’s a red herring designed to throw me off the trail. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘You didn’t notice me for the first two months I came
in here, because you assumed I was a dumb dropout. Meanwhile, all these guys you thought were so much better than me were welcome to hang around. Maybe I talked big in my column to make up for that.’

‘So you’re saying this is my fault because I’m a big fat snob.’

‘No, I’m just trying to explain.’ He pushes the chair out for me to sit down, but I ignore it. ‘In a weird way, I thought the column might even impress you – and make you laugh. I mean, once you got over the spin.’

I roll my eyes. ‘You’ve got a lot to learn about girls.’

‘Haven’t we all?’ Dan calls, elbows propped on the ledge of the pass-through.

‘I was planning to ask Mr Sparling to run a retraction,’ Joey says.

I perch on the edge of the seat for a moment. ‘This isn’t about my feelings anymore, Joey. It’s about Solana. I made her look bad in the press. She’s just starting out, and it could hurt her career.’

‘I know,’ he says. ‘But I’ve got a plan. Get your coat.’

I highly doubt he has a good idea. It’s probably just an excuse so we can pick up where we left off. But I’m not forgiving him. Ever. ‘I can’t leave. My shift goes till eleven.’

‘You’re off in ten minutes. I already asked,’ he says. ‘Can you really afford not to trust me? What are you going to tell Buzzkill tomorrow?’

Looks like I’m not the only one who got the summons today. ‘Fine. I’ll come with you, but don’t think it means anything.’

‘Should I return the chocolate?’

I turn to Shirley. ‘Can you wrap this up? Big fat snobs like me need all the calories we can get.’

Dan shakes his head. ‘You sure you want her back, Joe?’

We hover in the alley until a guy in a white uniform beckons us into the back door of Mama Zeta’s Jazz Crib. The guy looks familiar, but I can’t quite place him.

‘You’re Paz’s sister-in-law, right?’ he asks. ‘I’m his cousin, Ricky. We met at the christening.’

I nod. It was pretty clever of Joey to take advantage of this connection, but I only hate him about five percent less for it. If it works, that could drop another twenty, but still nowhere near reunion range.

‘I could get fired for this,’ Ricky says, leading us into the cavernous room and pointing out a table, where we grab a seat. ‘So don’t order any booze, and don’t cause any trouble.’

‘We won’t.’ I hop up to give Ricky a hug.

He pushes me back into the chair. ‘And don’t draw attention to yourself.’

‘Quiet as mice,’ I say.

Joey shushes me as Solana steps into the spotlight.

Joey is already outside when the bouncer pushes me out of the club.

‘You’re lucky Solana wouldn’t let me call the cops,’ the
bouncer says, giving me one last shove.

‘What happened?’ Joey asks as we walk to the train station. ‘You were gone so long I came to look for you, and then I got the boot.’

I snuck backstage and into Solana’s tiny dressing room before intermission, just as Joey had planned. But Solana didn’t even let me apologize before laying into me about everything that’s happened. Mrs Alvarez told her that a reporter was trying to dig up some dirt about her years at Dunfield, and apparently there is dirt to find.

‘She
cried
,’ I tell Joey. ‘So then I cried. It was awful. She said she wished she’d never trusted me and her reputation is ruined.’

‘That’s a little harsh. Your running off the stage didn’t ruin her rep –
her
running off the stage did that.’

‘Yeah, but Grace and I talked her into sharing the story of her learning disability. She got rattled when I took off.’

‘We’ll think of something to fix this.’ Joey walks in silence for a while before adding, ‘I understand what you mean about your reputation, and I want to apologize again for what Scoop said.’

I look up at him and he self-corrects. ‘I mean what I said as Scoop. I take full responsibility, and I’ll write that retraction tomorrow.’

‘Don’t bother,’ I say wearily. ‘It seems stupid to get so worked up about what people think of me, given Solana’s situation.’

If a few Dunfield losers think I have a more exciting life
than I do, it’s not the end of the world. Until recently I was so average I was practically invisible.

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