Parker's Island (33 page)

“I’m safe.  I’m sorry that I haven’t called sooner.  I miss you all.”

“Come home!” m
y mother pleaded, crying.

“I can’t come home yet.  I will, but not yet.”

“Why?”
m
y mom sniffled.

“You listen to me young lady…”
m
y dad started in.
             
“Dad, I’m an adult now, whether you choose to believe it or not.  I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, but I had to leave.   I needed to do some thinking and do a little more growing up on my own.  I’m fine though.  I’m safe, healthy and very happy
,
” I said, looking up at Logan as he walked into the room with two cups of hot chocolate.

“Please come home
,
”
m
y mother pleaded
,
again
.

“Mom, I will come home, but not yet.
  I still have some growing to do!”

Logan smiled and rubbed my stomach.  I
had to
laugh
as it was out of character for him.

“I d
on’t think this is one
bit funny,
young lady.”
             
“I wasn
’t laughing about that.  It was…
my roommate,
” I said, praying they didn’t ask me about him.

“You have a roommate?”

“Yes.  I promise you both, I’m fine.  It has to be this way for now.  I need this, please understand.  I’m n
ot trying to stay away from you. 
I just needed some space.”

“From Brian?”

“From Brian, yes…
but it’s not just him.  E
verything was getting so compli
cated.  I needed to get away…
I just did.”

“Please come home.  You don’t have to see Brian.  We’ll tell him to stop coming over.”

“Does he visit you?”

“Yes.  He comes over at least once a week, asking if we’ve heard from you.  He loves you.”

“
I know. 
I have to go now.  I love you both.  Tell Seth I miss the little brat.  Oh, and stop quizzing Molly
.  S
he doesn’t know where I am.  I miss you.” 
I hung up the phone happy that I had called, but still feeling bad for Brian.  I knew it was for the best.  He deserved more from a woman than I could give him.

“Feel better?”

“Yes.  Thank you.  You always seem to know what I need.”

“I think there’s one more call you should make
,
”
h
e said, picking up the phone again.

“I can’t tell Brian the truth, not yet
, and I won’t lie to him again
.  He knows where I am, he knows I’m safe.  I don’t want to hurt him anymore.”

“He knows you’re with me,
and
I’m sure
tha
t’s killing him.”

“I know…
I just…”

“I didn’t say that to make you feel bad
.
I just know how I felt when I saw you with him.  If you don’t plan on going back to h
im, then you should tell him…
let him go.”

“I told him when I left.”

“You told him you were leaving, but d
id you tell him it was over between you two
?”

“I don’t think so.
  I don’t remember what I said, I was so upset.
”

“You’re not going back to him
,
are you?  I’m sorry
.
I don’t have any right to ask you that.”

“You have every right. 
I could never go back to Brian
now
.  M
y heart is here, with you.”

“This will work out…
I promise.  You should call him.
 
He needs to know how you feel so he can move on with his life. 
I’m going to take a walk.
”

Logan grabbed his jacket and called Duchess to take a walk with him while I sat there staring at the phone.  I wasn’t sure I could pick it up.  I knew that Logan was right and that we both needed some closure, so with shaky hands
,
I reached for the phone.

I dialed Brian’s cell phone number, all the while wondering what I could possibly say to him without hurting him more.

“Hello.” 

“Brian?”

He was silent for a minute and then quietly said, “Yeah.”

“How are you?”
w
hat a stupid question, I told myself.

“What do you want
,
Delaney?”

“I don’t know.  I just…
wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine.”
             
“How’s your mom?”

“Fine.  Is there something else?
 
I don’t want to keep you from…
anything
,
”
h
e said, sarcastically.

“My mom said that you stop by the house every week.  I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay.  I’m so sorry.  This is definitely not what I had planned.”

“You got what you wanted.”

“No Brian, this isn’t what I wanted.”

“You’re still with him?”

“Yes.”

“Then you got what you wanted.  I have to go.”

“Brian, I wish…
”

“What?”
h
e snapped.

“
I know I owe you an explanation, and you deserve the truth.  I can’t tell you everything right now.  I really just needed to know that you were okay and that you’ve moved on.  I will always love you
.
I know you don’t believe that, but it is true.”

“I have to go.”

“Brian, please don’t hate me
,
”
I begged.

“I don’t hate you
,
Delaney
.
I love you.”

“I know, but you hate me
,
too.  I can’t tell you how sorry I am for hurting you.”

“I knew you loved him…
and I guess I
knew
you’d end up with him one day.  He better treat you right
.  I
f not
,
he’ll be sorry
.
”

“I wi
sh I could explain everything…
it’s
really
not what you think.”

“I have to go.  Take care of yourself.”

“You too.  Good
night
.”

“
Goodb
ye
,
Delaney.”

I sat there for a few minutes trying to figure out exactly how I felt.  I knew that Brian needed to hear that it was over between us and as upset as I knew he was about it, I did feel like he had some closure and he was
no longer
waiting for me.  I finally got up and walked outside to find Logan.  I was barefoot and
I wasn’t wearing a jacket. 
I realized
that
I
had
locked the door behind me.  I called for Logan when I realized I’d locked myself out of the house.  I was freezing and I had no idea where he was.  I strolled down the path to the beach and saw him sitting on the sand looking out at the ocean.

“Hi,”
I said, and sat down next to him.

“What are you
doing
?  Y
ou must be freezing
,
” he said while removing his jacket and wrapping it around me
.

“I kind of locked the door behind me, so I couldn’t g
et
back in.  I hope you have your keys.”

“I have them.  I’ll have a key made for you tomorrow.  I didn’t think about it.”

“It’s your house.  I don’t need a key.”

“Does that mean you’re leaving?”
h
e asked, looking worried.

“
Why would you even think that?  There’s no place I’d ra
ther be!” I said, and hugged him.

“I thought
…maybe since you talked to Brian…”

“I love
you
…
I have feelings for him,
yes,
but it’s always been you. 
I tol
d
him
goodbye and h
e wished us well.”

“
Really
?”
h
e
aske
d, skeptically.

“Well, he wished me well…and
he
threatened you.”

“That
sounds
more like it.”

“Can we go in now?  I’m freezing.”

 
We got back into the house and
sat on the couch together. 
He wrapped a blanket around my shoulders
. 
Duchess found her way up on to the couch as well, and soon I found myself out of room and very close to Logan. 

“You’ve spoiled her
,
”
h
e said, grinning.

“She’s a good girl.”  Just then Duchess rolled onto her back, and pushed me with her back legs, throwing me full force into Logan.

I was
knocked over
, thrown back onto his lap.  He caught me and had
his
arms around me.
  I looked up into his eyes and knew I should get up, but I couldn’t.  He looked down at me, and touched my cheek with the back of his hand.  Just like before
,
it sent electricity coursing through my veins.  I trembled
and my breathing quickened
.  “Are you
still
cold?”
h
e asked, breathing a bit faster himself.

“No
,
actually I’m really
quite
warm.”

“I can’t tell you how badly I want to kiss you right now
,
”
h
e said, even more out of breath.

“I, I better say goodnight
,
” I said, and he helped me sit up.

“Goodnight
,” h
e said, as I headed upstairs.

I crawled into my lonely bed
,
closed my eyes and
immediately
thought of
Logan.  I
like
d
picturing Logan
.  I
t helped me stay awake.  I was afraid to
sleep for
fear of once again having my re
cu
r
ring nightmare.  Every night I would wake up
in a panic
as Chad’s face
leered at me from above.  The dreams were becoming more and more frequent as my pregnancy progressed, and I knew that I needed to start thinking about what to do with the baby
;
Chad’s baby.

Logan and I
had managed up to that point, to keep our relationship strictly platonic. 
But, a
s the
next few weeks
wore on,
it became increasingly difficult
to over-look the growing desire between
us.  We were sharing a home, meals, taking daily walks on the beach
, spending our evenings watching movies and playing card games,
and Logan h
adn’t missed one of my doctor’s
appointments.  It seemed only natural to want to take that next step.  There were only two problems:  He was married,
but
not to me; and I was pregnant,
but
not by him.

“I don’t know why you won’t let me get you some new clothes.  You can’t keep wearing the same two pairs of sweat pants throughout the rest of your pregnancy.  You still have three months to go.”

“You’ve done enough for me
.
I don’t want you to buy me anything.”

“Delaney, I have more than enough money.
  I
’d buy you the world, b
ut right now,
I’d settle on just getting you
some clothes.
”

“
I’ll
buy a few things, if it will make you happy.”

“Come on
,
then
.  L
et’s go shopping.”