Parker's Island (7 page)

“I’m sorry.”

“Do your parents tru
st you?”
I asked
him
, not really expecting an answer.  Logan never talked about anything personal.

“I
r
arely see my father.” 

“
Oh, well ho
w about your mom?”

“She died, years ago.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I didn’t know…”

“I didn’t know her
,
Delaney.  She died giving birth.”

“To one of your siblings?”
I asked, hoping he didn’t have to bear the guilt of his mother dying while giving birth to him
.  N
ot that it
w
ould have been his fault.

“I’m an only child
,
”
w
as all he said while ushering me into second period.

We sat down at our table
and
the silence
was
deafening.

Finally he said, “So, are you
ever
going t
o tell me what movie you saw?” h
e grinned, certain I
c
ould
n’t forget
a movie that got me
into so much trouble and
grounded indefinitely.

“Beyond Eternity
,
” I sighed.

“Oh.”

“It was horrible.  I spent most of the night in the lobby.”

“I
t
couldn’t have been that bad.”

“It was pretty…
well, explicit!”
I said,
and
then felt myself blush.

“I see.”

“Not to mention that we were all supposed to go as a group, and suddenly it was three couples…and me.”

“Why didn’t you bring a date?”

I stared at him for a minute, and finally whispered, “
Because
he said he’s not much into movies.”
  I bent over and got my book out of my back
pack then,
trying to avoid his
piercing blue eyes.

“Delaney, I’m sorry…”

“Hey, it’s no big deal.  The movie was horrible
,
anyway.”

“I…I didn’t realize you were asking
me
…” 

“Can we just not talk about it anymore, please?” 

“Sur
e,
”
h
e said, looking down.

The rest of the day was spent in
an
uncomfortable silence.  I was actually looking forward to the two classes I didn’t share with him, so I would stop seeing the pity in his eyes.

I sat down next to Molly during
6
th
period, looking
devastated
once again.  “What happened?” s
he asked.

“Nothing.”

“You are such a bad liar!”

“I told him that when I asked
him
to the movie
that
I was asking him to be my date
,
” I whispered, not wanting anyone else to hear how humiliated I was.

“So, what did he say?”

“He apologized.”

“For what?”

“I’m not sure.”

“What does that mean?”
s
he asked.

“It means he was sorry that he didn’t know I was asking him out.”

“So, now
’
s your chance to ask him out again
, and t
his time he’ll know what you mean.”

“NO!  I’m not going down that road again.”

“Fine, then be miserable!” Molly said, obviously growing tired of my constant
gloom
.

“I’m never going to get this
.  W
ho need
s to know this stuff
,
anyway?!”
I said
,
frustrated that I was struggling with my math assignment.

“You just need to square the
seven
, otherwise it
’
s right
,
” Logan said after glancing at my assignment for a mere two seconds.

“How do you do that?” I asked.

“Do what?”

“
Know
the answers to
everything?”

“I don’t know anything
,
”
h
e said, sounding upset.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine
,
”
he
said
a little
too quickly.

“I’m thinking you’re not.  Is there anything I can do?”

“No, but thanks.”

“So
,
you never told me what you did over spring break?” I asked, hoping to keep him talking.

“Nothing
,
really.”

“Did you spend Easter with your dad?”

“I stayed home and read
,
Delaney
.
I don’t know what
he
did.”

“You didn’t even see him?”

“No.  I told you, I hardly ever see him…unless he wants something.”

“Who did you spend Easter with?”

“I told you, I stayed home and read.”

“That’s terrible.  Don’t you have any other family?”

“No.  My grandfather died when I was a kid, and you know about my mom.  That’s it.
”

I wanted to reach out and touch his hand, but thought better of it.  “I’m sorry
,
”
w
as all I could manage to say.

“Don’t be.  I don’t mind being alone…it beats the alternative.”

“Is he really that bad?”

“He’s…
he’s okay.  Let’s get back to work.”

He helped me with my math assignment
and every once in a while I thought he was looking at me like he wanted to talk about something, but he just kept working
through our math assignment
.  He had pulled his chair around the table and sat next to me
.  H
e was so close that I don’t think I heard anything he said.  I was disappointed when the bell rang, but we walked to our next class together
, and I actually felt like I understood him a little better. 

The weeks flew by.  My countdown was almost over.  There were only three days of school left.  While everyone ran around worrying about senior pictures, yearbooks and the stupid grad party,
I spent my time locked in my room.

I was no longer grounded
.  T
hat ended after the second week, but I also knew I wasn’t up for all the merriment the end of the school year seemed to bring to most.  I preferred to suffer in silence, and not b
ring anyone else down with me.

I was in my room getting ready for bed when my mother came barging in without knocking.  “I’m sorry
,
Honey
.
I should have knocked
,
”
s
he said when she saw that I was putting on
my nightgown.  “You are so beautiful.  A young woman now
, a
nd what a figure you have
,
”
s
he said, looking proud.

“Mom
, p
lease.”  

“What?  I am your mother.  But, seeing you like th
is
reminds me
that
,
well
,
you’re growing up.
  The
boys must be noticing you?”

She was fishing for some insight to my personal life, even though I didn’t have one.
“I’m sure you didn’t just come in here to watch me get dressed for bed.  Was
there something on your mind?”
I asked, feeling mortified by the
intrusion
.

“O
h
, I almost forgot.  Your senior pictures arrived today. 
See, you are
so beautiful
,
”
s
he said, pulling them out of the envelope to show me.

“Oh.  Great.”  I
said
,
not thrilled about another
reminder
that the end of the school year was fast approaching.

“You don’t seem very happy anymore
,
Delaney.  I wish you’d talk to me.”

“I’m fine
,
M
om.”

“Your dad and I have both noticed how unhappy you are.  You never leave your room and you don’t even go anywhere with Molly anymore.  Aren’t you
two
still friends?”

“Of course we’re still friends.  Molly
just
has a boyfriend now
and I don’t want to be a third wheel.”
  She and Jason were officially a couple now, and
although
I was happy for her,
I
couldn’t bear to be near them
and their overt affection for one another
.
  I didn’t think Jason was the right guy for Molly, but I didn’t butt in.

“Oh, I see.  What about you?  Isn’t there someone
,
some boy
that
you like?”

“I thought you didn’t want me to date?”

“That’s not true.  We just want you to be up front about it, and we’d like to meet him and know that he comes from a good family.”

“A good family?  Are you serious?  Look
M
om, I know you’re worried about me, but I’m fine, REALLY!”

“So, then there isn’t anyone you
’
r
e
interested in?”
s
he asked, looking me in the eyes, searching for what she knew to be the truth.

“I...no..
.yes
.  O
h
,
it doesn’t matter.”

She sat down on the edge of my bed and said, “What’s his name?”

I sat down too and put my head in my hands.  “It doesn’t mat
ter
.  W
e’re not dating…
and I guess we never will.  School’s almost out and then I won’t ever see him again!”  The tears stre
a
med silently down my face.
             
“Is this the same young man that you’ve been pining away for all this time?”

I was so confused, and I desperately needed to talk.  I was surprised how easy the words flowed once I started.  I was also surprised how quietly my mother sat there, intent on every word without once interrupting me. 
             
“
…
s
o that’s it.  He turned me down,
and
now schools almost over
and I won’t ever see him again.”