Parker's Island (8 page)

“Yeah, I’m okay.”  I actually smiled for the first time in weeks.

“You do seem better.  What’s going on?”

“I talked to my mom last night, really talked to her.  She told me to ask him out
,
again.  I realized
,
what do I have to lose?”

“I TOLD YOU THAT
,
WEEKS AGO!”
s
he said, angrily.

“I know
.
I guess I just wasn’t ready to hear it then.”

“So, when are you going to ask him, and what do you want to do with him?”
s
he smiled.

“Oh, I
guess I
hadn’t really thought about that.  I guess a movie’s out!”  I giggled at my own stupid humor.

“I don’
t know.  M
aybe you should
take him to see
Beyond Eternity
.  I
t might give him some ideas
,
”
s
he grinned, trying to embarrass me now.

“I don’t think so!  I guess I’ll just ask him out for coffee.”
             
“That might work
if it were a
business date.  Come on
,
Delaney
.  L
et him know you’re interested in him.”

“Dinner
,
then?”
I
asked
,
wait
ing for
her
approval.

“
Dinner’s good. 
And t
hen you can
him
for dessert!” s
he laughed.

“Why do I talk to you?”

“Because, were
b
est
b
uddies
f
ore
ver!”

I grinned at her and said, “Yes we are.  I’ll see you at lunch.
”

I walked into first period with a new spring in my step.  Even if he refused my invitation, I was filled
with
hope right at that moment.  It felt good to have a plan.  I suddenly felt in control of my own life again, something I hadn’t felt in months.

I took a deep breath and said
,
“Hi Logan.  How was your weekend?”

“
It was f
ine
,
”
he replied.

I was determined to end this uncomfortable silence we’d shared for the past few weeks, so I continued.  “Did you do anything fun?”

He looked up at me with what I thought to be relief
as well
that we were finally talking again.  “I spent the weekend reading.”

“Oh.  What did you read?”

“
I read a
couple
of
books
,
nothing
of
great
interest
.  H
ow about you?”

“Me, I pretty much stayed in my room all weekend.”

“You aren’t still grounded
,
are you?”

“No.
I just didn’t have
much of
anything to do.”  At least he was talking to me again.  I decided it was now or never.
I took a deep breath,
“Logan, would you like to have di
nner with me one night?”
There, I said it!  I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until I started to get a bit light-headed.  I took a few deep, slow breaths and
then
realized he never answered me.

“
I
…
can’t
.  I’m sorry
.” 

“Oh.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to
…
I
just
…
”
             
“You don’t have to explain.  It’s okay
.  I
t was just a thought
,
”
I rambled on, much too quickly.

“Delaney…”

“Oh darn, um, I left my book in my locker.  I’ll be right back.”  I almost ran from the room.
I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.  “What made you think he would actually say yes?”
I berated myself as I headed into the girls room.  I looked in the mirror and told myself, “Keep it together. You can’t go back there with red, swollen eyes!”

I splashed some cold water on my face and forced myself to not cry.  I had to make it through
the rest of the day
sitting next to the one guy I adore
d
,
but
who obviously d
idn’t
share the same feelings for me. 
Suddenly I was absolutely dreading the last three days of school.  I wasn’t sure I could sit next to him and keep it together that long.

By the time I was
able to force myself
to go back to class, I was 15 minutes late.  “Nice of you to join us
,
Miss Mill
er
,”
m
y teacher scolded.

“Sorry
,
” I said
,
looking down at the floor a
s I
quietly made my way back to my seat.

If Logan noticed that I didn’t come back with a book, he didn’t say anything. 
He asked if I was okay when I sat down.  “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”  If the silence was uncomfortable before, it was
unbearable
now.
 
Not another word was said between us the rest of the day.

I walked home after school feeling very discouraged.  I had made up my mind that I wasn’t going to shed on
e more tear over Logan Barnett. 
I would get through the next two days of
school
.
I would be polite and friendly
to him a
nd act as if it was no big deal
that he
had
turned me down
. 

As I walked into the house, I realized that I would have to tell my mom…something.  She was going to ask and I needed to be prepared to tell her that he wasn’t interested in me
,
without breaking down again.  I was determined to not spend another moment crying about someone I couldn’t have and who didn’t want me. 

The phone rang as I headed up the stairs, “The machine can get it
,
” I thought, still heading to my room.

“Delaney, where were you after school?  I was going to
give you a ride home.  Call me…
today!”
Molly ordered, dying to hear the outcome with Logan, no doubt.

I ignored the message and went to my room.  I threw my book bag on my desk, sat down on the edge of my bed and wondered how I was going to make it through the next two days.

The phone rang again, and fearing Molly would leave a much more detailed message, I grabbed it.

“Molly, I don’t feel like talking right now.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Are you going to tell me what happened with Logan or what?”
s
he asked.

“I don’t want to talk about
it
.”

“Oh, it went that well
,
huh?”
s
he said.

“He doesn’t want me.”  I almost started to cry, but held to my resolve of no more tears.

“Are you okay?”
s
he asked.

“I guess I have to be, don’t I?”

“Okay, he’s just one guy.  Why don’t you go out with one of the other 30 guys that have asked you?
  Brian Walters certainly wouldn’t turn you down.
”

“I can’t think about that right now.  And I am NEVER going to ask anyone out ever again!”

“So,
are
you plan
ning
on becoming a nun
,
now?”

“YES, that’s exactly what I’m planning!” I said
sarcastically
, irritated
with her
now.

“Come on
,
Delaney
.  Y
ou can’t just give up.
  It’s not like no one else is interested in you.  You’ve been asked out by every guy in school.
”

“Not the one that matters.”

“How do you know that you wouldn’t like someone else?  You’ve never even given any other guy a chance.  You might be surprised.”

“If it will get you to drop the subject, then maybe I’ll consider going out with someone else.”

“Yeah, right.  Well, do you want to go to a movie with me and Jason tonight?  We’ll see something PG!”

“No, but thanks anyway.”

“Delaney, are
you going to lock yourself away
again?”

“No!  I promise.”

“Okay.  I’ll let you go now.
Jason’s coming over soon.  If you change your mind about the movie, then call me.”

We said our goodbyes and I headed back upstairs.  I
walked over to
the
window
.  I
look
ed
outside
,
thinking about what I was going to tell my mom, when I noticed that expensiv
e car parked across the street. 
“I wonder who owns that
car
?
” I thought to myself.

I didn’t have too much time to
think
about the car because my mom and dad walked in just then.  “Here goes nothing
,”
I
said aloud
as I headed downstairs.

“Hi
,
honey.  How was your day?”
m
y mom asked with a wink, trying to send me a message without getting my father involved.

“It was fine.”

“Just fine?” s
he asked, looking concerned now.

“It didn’t go like I planned.”

“What didn’t go like you planned?”
m
y father asked.

“She had a math test today
,
dear
.
”
M
y mother
actually
lied
to my father
.

“Oh, well I’m sure you’ll still get an A
.  Y
ou always do
,
”
h
e said.  “We have to go
,
Sarah.”

“Where are you going?” I asked, thrilled that they were going
somewhere and I wouldn’t have to t
alk
about
Logan
anymore
.

“We’re going out to dinner with Mary and Dave
.  I
s that okay with you
,
honey?
 
Will you be okay?”
m
y mom asked, sounding very concerned.

“I’ll be fine
,
Mom.  What about Seth?”

“He’ll be home soon.  Can you guys fend for yourselves for dinner?  There are left-over’s in the fridge, or you could just have sandwiches.”

“That’s fine
,
Mom.  I’ll make sure he eats something healthy.”

“Make sure you eat
,
too
.  Y
ou’re looking awfully thin
,
”
s
he smiled, patted my shoulder and then they headed out the door, hand in hand.

The next day I headed to school
, determined to make the best of a bad situation.  I would not show Logan how upset I was
.
I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

I tried really hard to make small talk with Logan all morning, and finally just gave up and accepted the uncomfortable silence.  I was thrilled when it was finally lunch and I could stop pretending that
his rejection didn’t bother me.

“You’re not eating
anything again
,
Delaney?”
Molly asked me when she joined
our
table and saw me without a lunch tray.

“No, I’m not hungry.  I had a big breakfast.”

“I thought you weren’t going to lie anymore
,
”
s
he said, shaking her finger at me.