Passing It On: Growing Your Future Leaders (31 page)

Exodus 24:13–14
Then Moses set out with Joshua his aide, and Moses went up on the mountain of God. He said to the elders, “Wait here for
us until we come back to you.”

Numbers 11:28–29
Joshua son of Nun, who had been Moses’ aide since youth, spoke up and said, “Moses, my lord, stop them!” But Moses replied,
“Are you jealous for my sake?”

Numbers 27:18–23
So the L
ORD
said to Moses, “Take Joshua son of Nun, a man in whom is the spirit, and lay your hand on him. Have him stand before Eleazar
the priest and the entire assembly
and commission him in their presence. Give him some of your authority so the whole Israelite community will obey him. He is
to stand before Eleazar the priest, who will obtain decisions for him by inquiring of the Urim before the L
ORD
. At his command he and the entire community of the Israelites will go out, and at his command they will come in.” Moses did
as the L
ORD
commanded him. He took Joshua and had him stand before Eleazar the priest and the whole assembly. Then he laid his hands
on him and commissioned him, as the L
ORD
instructed through Moses.

Deuteronomy 1:37–39
Because of you the L
ORD
became angry with me also and said, “You shall not enter it, either. But your assistant, Joshua son of Nun, will enter it.
Encourage him, because he will lead Israel to inherit it.”

Deuteronomy 3:27–29
“Go up to the top of Pisgah and look west and north and south and east. Look at the land with your own eyes, since you are
not going to cross this Jordan. But commission Joshua, and encourage and strengthen him, for he will lead this people across
and will cause them to inherit the land that you will see.” So we stayed in the valley near Beth Peor.

These accounts contain all the important principles of mentoring and succession. If you study the relationship of Joshua and
Moses, first you will notice:

The mentee must submit to the mentor and possess a spirit of student and servant
.

As Numbers 11:28 reads, Joshua “had been Moses’ aide since youth.” Mentorship had begun. Notice that the mentee
aided
the mentor first. In other words, mentoring begins with serving the mentor. If you want to learn from someone, you have to
submit to him or her. To learn from someone, you have to be willing to serve. Thus, mentorship really begins with willingness
to serve.

The mentee must be teachable and must not be competitive with his mentor
.

The second thing we find about Joshua is that the Scriptures do not call him a servant of God. They always call him an aide
of Moses (see Exod.
24:13, Exod. 33:11, and Num. 11:28). That is important because you cannot be mentored when you compete with your mentor. If
you want someone to mentor you, you cannot attempt to be equal to your mentor. Joshua just wanted to be a servant of Moses.
He had the correct attitude.

The mentee must be present but not too pushy and aggressive with the mentor
.

Joshua stayed with Moses all the time. Yet Scriptures cite little that he said, so we can infer that he did not talk much.
He is quiet, but he is present. That fascinates me and intrigues me. Joshua was always with Moses because the prophet was
his mentor. Joshua followed where Moses went, but he did not assert himself.

The mentee will have access to the environment of the mentor but must never abuse it
.

Joshua had this kind of access. Scripture says the young man headed up the mountain with his leader (see Exod. 24:13). Joshua
accompanied Moses to the Tent of Meeting. This was a special tent that Moses had set up and where he met with God. They would
have intimate conversations there, and the only person who went into that tent with Moses was Joshua. A mentor can get you
into places. The Bible says Moses left the Tent of Meeting, and Joshua stayed (see Exodus 33:11). Perhaps he was just basking
in the greatness of God. A mentor can get you into the presence of greatness, and you can actually stay there because the
great one will start to talk to you. Even then, the mentee must tread lightly, being careful not to abuse the relationship.

The mentee must learn in silence when allowed into the privileged places of his mentor
.

No one knows what, if anything, God said to Joshua during those moments in the Tent of Meeting or if Joshua said anything.
Maybe Joshua’s experience there was to prepare him for future leadership. Joshua experienced God in a way that no other person
did because he was brought into God’s presence by his mentor. A mentor can open doors for you that no one else can open. Shared
influence and connections are important elements of mentorship and succession.

The mentee must never compete with, nor be jealous of his mentor
.

When Joshua perceived a threat to his mentor, he expressed jealousy. It was jealousy, not
of
Moses but
for
Moses, which are very different things.

The mentee must not usurp the position of his mentor, but must protect and defend it
.

We see Joshua expressing an interesting “menteeship” spirit. Joshua wanted Moses to stop the new “prophets” because the loyal
aide saw them as competing with his mentor. This is the kind of person you want to mentor. Joshua wanted to protect Moses
from competitors, not compete with Moses. It impressed Moses that this young man wanted to protect his position, not take
it. Moses realized that Joshua had an interest, not only in serving him, but also in defending him. Joshua was not looking
out for himself. He was protecting Moses’ turf.

The mentee must never abuse the privileges of his mentor
.

Finally, Joshua did not usurp Moses’ authority. He was in the presence of the God of Moses but never tried to claim Moses’
relationship with God for himself. The Scripture shows that not only did Joshua know his place, but he also wanted to protect
the greatness or authority of his leader. He wanted to make sure others did not encroach on the prophet’s powers.

As we see in the example of Moses and Joshua, mentorship presumes a “lesser” and a “greater” in a relationship. Mentoring
implies that the lesser is learning from the greater through interaction, interpersonal contact, observation, and experiences.
Mentors provide access to their lives, decisionmaking processes, bank of wisdom, and environment. The mentee has access to
the mentor’s relationships and resources. Resources can be people, material, and secrets the mentor might have. So mentoring
is a very personal—and in some cases a very private—relationship. This separates it from ordinary interpersonal relationships.

One of most important processes of mentoring is not just learning from the experience of the mentor, but also learning from
the situations the mentor will allow you to experience. The mentor is like a gymnastics coach.

One afternoon I was watching a documentary about gymnastics that showed how these amazing professional athletes train to become
world-class competitors. I watched the coach fasten the safety straps to a young girl. After positioning her on the mat, the
coach threw her into the air as if she
were a bird while he stood right below her. Every time she touched down, he caught her by the waist and threw her again. He
never left his post. I saw the initial fear in the girl’s eyes, but as the exercise progressed, I noticed the fear turning
into a smile of confidence.

The documentary moved on to the next day and there they were again, but this time the straps were off and the coach was still
catching her. Finally, the fifth day came, and the coach was on the sidelines with a smile of confidence on his face. He watched
his student pace the floor like a pro and with style, grace, and passion, complete her routine without a single mistake and
land with a sense of maturity that amazed even the toughest judges on the bench. He had successfully mentored a future leader
in gymnastics who eventually went on to compete in the world games.

Many times a mentor may seem to have set you up to experience a measure of failure, but he is really setting you up for success
and is standing by just in case you falter. Good mentors will provide opportunities for you to participate in a situation
that could teach you a lesson or allow you to use your gifts to prevail. The mentor knows that a mistake or temporary failure
is a necessary step toward learning and qualifying for future success as a leader.

In order to get the most out of the mentoring process, you must understand certain principles.

Must submit to the mentor
. It is impossible to learn from someone if you do not submit to that person. It is like a class that does not accept the
teacher’s authority. Submission does not mean that you give up your independence, uniqueness, rights, or will. It does not
mean that the mentor is smarter than you or more talented. It means the mentor knows something that you want to learn. Be
submissive to advice and instruction. I sometimes encounter people who ask me to mentor them but who then refuse my advice
or instruction. Right away that cancels our agreement. I cannot help someone who does not submit. Submission in this instance
means that you
understand and value the contributions that the mentor can make to your life. You are willing to surrender your time and your
ability to learn and receive from that mentor. Submission is the first act for the mentee.

Must accept that the mentor is acting in the best interest of the mentee
. You
have
to believe that whatever the mentor recommends, instructs, or advises is in your best interest. Your mentor’s instructions
may not seem to make sense at the time, and they might take you out of your comfort zone. The mentor’s counsel might seem
strange to you or put you in unfamiliar surroundings. You must trust the judgment and carry out the instructions (within reason)
of your mentor. Good mentors will never set you up for destruction. They will set you up for development, if you let them.

Mentors see your future far beyond what you see, so you need to trust their vision. Many times they will tell you do
not
do this or that, or to do something. They are preparing you for something they see for you ten years down the road.

Must be willing to accept the mentor’s counsel
. Do not ignore their instructions. We often claim that we submit to our mentors, and we still do not accept what they say.
If you want to benefit from the mentor, you must take the advice offered. If you claim I am your mentor and you do not take
my counsel, I will release you immediately. Do not waste my time, please. If you submit yourself to the teaching and guidance
of a mentor, the assumption is that you believe the person has something you need. To get the benefit, you have to accept
the counsel offered. When someone rejects advice, mentors often refuse to continue the relationship, ending the mentorship
opportunity. To continue is a waste of everybody’s time. The mentee must trust the mentor’s judgment. You cannot lead people
who do not trust you, and you cannot learn from someone you do not trust. Remember, a good mentor does not want anything from
you. The mentor did not pursue you. If the mentor gives you advice, he means it for your own good.

Must never abuse the privileges offered by a mentor
. A mentor will give you access to such things as her private contacts, environment, or home. Mentors will give you access
to the things they are reading, maybe their friendships and other relationships, or even their venues, markets, and audiences.
The mentee must be very cautious not to abuse any of those privileges.

If the mentor gives you her private number, you cannot give it to people
to prove you know someone powerful or famous. This is abuse. To have that number is a privilege. Alternatively, if the mentor
introduces you to one of her contacts, you cannot go behind her back to try to work out a deal for yourself with that contact.
That is an abuse of the relationship and an embarrassment to the mentor. It might have taken the mentor forty years to make
that connection, and she can give it to you willingly in forty seconds, but do not abuse it.

I expose my mentees to my television programs, let them meet my publishers, or give them the microphone to speak to ten thousand
people for a few minutes. I do that because I want to build their confidence and help them, but if the mentee secretly asks
the host to invite them alone to speak next time, the mentee is abusing the privilege. People have told others I am their
friend when they only met me once at a church somewhere and shook my hand. Do not abuse such opportunities offered by your
mentor. You can say, “Yes, I have met that person. I shook his hand some time ago,” but do not say that person is your friend
when it is not true. I may give you access to the head of a country because you happen to be with me. That does not mean that
you are his friend. I am his friend, and you should not disrespect him or me by calling him next week for a casual chat. He
does not know you, and that would be an abuse of the privilege the mentor offered. If you have a mentor, you will get access
to that person’s life. Do not abuse it. Respect, honor, protect, and safeguard the privileges given you by the mentor.

Must initiate or pursue learning from the mentor
. Once you have a mentor, the pursuit continues. You have to pursue what you want to learn from the mentor. If you claim you
want me to be your mentor, for instance, then you have to prove it by your hunger, passion, and willingness to submit to my
authority. The learner must not sit around and wait for the mentor to teach her or to develop her. Anyone worth having as
a mentor will be fully engaged in work and other obligations. The one who wants to learn must pursue the mentor by cultivating
the spirit of initiative.