Past Regrets: Love and Friendship, Book 2 (14 page)

“Ryan,” she whispered hoarsely, full of silent pleading.

Hell, he didn’t want to wait either.

Angling his body, he pressed her against the wall.

“Cold,” she muttered.

“Won’t be soon.” He gripped his cock, positioned himself at her entrance and let gravity impale her more deeply. Ryan gritted his teeth, the snug warmth of her almost doing him in. His balls pulled tight. His pulse raced, his heart threatening to beat right out of his chest as Julia’s pussy flexed around his shaft and took him inside her. “Okay?” he demanded.

“No! Wait,” she said sharply. “Condom.”

“Shit.” He stilled, grunting as he squeezed her against the wall. It took everything in him, but he withdrew and set her on her feet, maintaining his grip on her shoulders. “Sorry. I didn’t think.” He’d presumed she was still on the Pill. She had taken them when they first married. He leaned down, then pressed his forehead against hers while catching his breath. The thought of a child was strangely appealing, but he didn’t voice his thoughts, not when Julia hadn’t seemed happy at the idea. “Turn around. Let me wash your back.”

She bit her lip and turned to present her back. He grabbed a bottle of body wash and squirted some on a bath buddy. Seconds later, his hand was covered with lather.

“I said I was sorry. There’s no need to give me the silent treatment.”

“I’m not.” She turned in his arms, a strange expression on her face. “I’m just as much to blame.” She took the buddy off him and indicated he should turn around.

Ryan turned, sighing inwardly, sorry the mood had passed. “Are you still going to let me make love to you?” He winced at his bluntness.

“I have condoms in the bedroom.”

His breath caught. “Why?”

“I bought them a few months ago when I decided I should have sex with someone in order to forget you.”

“Ouch.” Her words hurt, but given his lack of communication, he didn’t blame her. “And did you find a man?” She’d implied she hadn’t had sex for months, but maybe he’d misunderstood.

“No. You done?” The defensive note told him not to push.

He washed the last of the soap away. “Yeah, I’m done.”

After toweling off, he padded to her bedroom. While he was waiting for her, he pulled back the covers, desire simmering inside him at the thought of touching her again, despite his confused feelings. From the deep recesses of his mind he pulled an image of her naked, stroking scented body butter on her legs, one at a time. He recalled the slow caress of her hands, smoothing across her skin. It was so real—a true memory. He grinned, absently fondling his cock.

“I want you to know that having sex with you doesn’t mean I’m agreeing to continue our marriage,” she said abruptly as she entered the bedroom.

“What does it mean?” Ryan didn’t understand the brittle edge to her voice, the pain she was trying to hide.

“I’m scratching an itch.”

Okay
. Ryan forced a smile even though a part of him died. He’d done this. Even though he hadn’t meant to—his silence had hurt her and damaged their relationship. “Fair enough. Let’s do that scratching together.” Her bitchiness was a façade. He was sure of it.

“All right.” She dropped her towel and crossed the room to the bedside cabinet. She opened the drawer and pulled out a box of condoms. An unopened box, he noted, and some of the tightness in his chest dispersed.

“Come here,” he said in a rough voice. He sat on the edge of the bed and waited for her to approach, another level of tension easing when she came willingly enough. She wanted him. At least they had the sexual part of their marriage to help glue their relationship together. He could fix this if he loved her hard enough.

His avid gaze took in everything about her. God, she was beautiful with her trim waist and long legs. He drew her between his legs, pressing a kiss to the slight round of her belly, just below her belly button piercing. She froze, but he ignored her reaction to draw her down onto his lap. He settled his mouth on hers despite the hint of frost in her. Determined to break the reserve around her, he doubled his effort, sliding his tongue against hers, tangling his fingers in her hair and tasting the mint from recently brushed teeth.

A few seconds later, she moaned against his mouth—music to his ears. Her hands slid over his shoulders and suddenly she was participating instead of merely letting him touch her. Her breasts squashed against the wall of his chest, the eager pressure of her lips drawing a heated response from him. Yes, perfect, and he settled in to enjoy playing tag with her tongue.

They kissed, unhurried now that they were naked and near both a bed and condoms. Long, lazy kisses. Slow, seductive kisses until they were both breathing hard, and his cock was so rigid he knew he’d explode if he didn’t get inside her soon.

He shifted, tossing her on the mattress and covering her before she had time to protest.

“I need you, Julia.” He ran a finger up the soft skin of her inner thigh. He’d wait a little longer. Make this extra special for both of them. He shifted back, setting between the V of her legs to study her pussy and the narrow strip of blonde hair. So pretty. Where to start? Licking, he decided, and immediately ran his tongue from her entrance and up to her clit. Not a soft fluttery lick, but a hard, firm one that filled his mouth with her taste and stopped short of her clitoris. He lifted his head to grin up at her. “How’s that?”

“Good,” she whispered, arching her hips upward to increase the pressure. “Ryan!”

Still grinning, Ryan settled in to make her come. Not that it was a difficult task. She was swollen and trembled whenever his tongue neared her clit. He teased her for a while with slow, delicate laps, keeping her on edge but not giving her enough stimulation to topple into climax. Her juices seeped from her entrance, her spicy taste filling his mouth while pleading cries spilled from her lips.

“Oh, Ryan.” Her hands gripped his head in an attempt to focus his touch.

He glanced up to find her eyes squeezed closed, her bottom lip caught between her white teeth as her lower body strained upward, pushing into his face.

“Please. Please, Ryan.”

Aware of urgency thrumming through his own veins, he went back to work, this time concentrating on the straining bundle of nerves. Carefully, he took the bud between his lips, stroking with a barely-there touch of his tongue. She shuddered, groaned and fought to raise her hips, forcing him into greater contact. He gave it to her. Laving back and forth. Sucking carefully.

She cried out, trembled violently and he felt the rapid spasms of the tiny bud. He kept his touches light now, vaguely remembering this was what she enjoyed.

The tension melted from her limbs and torso, and she sagged in a sprawl on the mattress. “Oh, Ryan. That was an A grade orgasm.” Her throaty whisper brought a burst of satisfaction, like a jolt to the chest, and he smiled before pressing a light kiss to her sensitive clit.

Ryan fumbled with the outer wrapping of the condom box before he managed to extract a foil packet. Seconds later the latex was in place. He moved up her body, touched his lips to hers and slipped inside her. It felt like coming home. Ryan started moving and her hips shifted in counterpoint. The tight clench around his shaft forced a moan from deep in his chest. His breath caught as he watched her face, the minute shifts of expression as she started the climb to a peak again. He stroked into her faster, hurling himself greedily into the pleasure of the experience. She filled the gaps inside him, the loneliness. God, she made him feel whole.

Her arms wrapped around him, holding him tight. Ryan grunted, slammed into her. Once. Twice. And a third time, then his orgasm roared through him, white noise echoing in his ears. His lips sought hers again, anchoring himself in the present.

Aw, sweet. So sweet. He withdrew a fraction and pushed back into her heat. Lazy, easy thrusts even though he’d come. Julia groaned, her hips lifting. Taking her subtle clue, he reached between them and stroked her clitoris.

“Yes. Right there. No! Don’t move.” She grabbed his ears and tugged.

“Ow, woman. Bossy much?”

“Get me off,” she ordered.

Laughter spilled from him along with contentment. His finger worked her, and he watched her face again. Her eyes fluttered closed, arousal colored her cheeks in a delicate pink. Her lips were swollen. Her blonde hair tousled. Sexy. She came, shuddering and squeezing his cock in rhythmic pulses, looking beautiful.

“Was that up to your expectations?” he whispered after he’d withdrawn and dealt with the condom. He tucked her against the curve of his body.

Julia yawned. “Hmm, I need to get some sleep.”

Some of his feel-good attitude dispersed. He opened his mouth to say something, to ask if she hadn’t enjoyed their lovemaking before thinking better of it. Crap, questions would make him sound needy and lacking in self-confidence. Him. The guy who, according to Caleb, charmed females of every age with nothing more than a smile. The guy who fronted
French Letters
and held their fans in thrall. The man voted sexiest scoundrel for the last two years in a row by
Madam
magazine.

Julia’s deep, even breathing indicated she’d fallen asleep while he felt like a theatre prop—an object present to illustrate a point.

The next morning, Ryan woke alone. Gritty eyed, he sat up. “Julia?”

Frowning, he scrambled out of bed and padded to the bathroom. The faint scent of Julia’s perfume filled the air, but by the time he reached the kitchen he knew he was alone in the apartment.

“Damn.” He stomped back to the spare bedroom, indignation in every rapid step. He might have slept with a lot of women before Julia came along, but he was pretty sure he’d never sneaked out before they woke or left them feeling cheap and used.

Chapter Eight

“They can’t do this.” Julia strode across her mother’s bedroom, shaking the letter from the bank in her hand. She’d popped in early to see her mother and hadn’t expected a bombshell to greet her. She turned back to face her mother and Janet. “I’ve paid off the arrears. All the payments are up to date.”

Janet sent her a warning glance, one that told her she needed to pull herself together for her mother’s sake. Janet was right of course. Her mother needed tranquility now that her operation was scheduled.

“They have the right to call in the loan. It’s in the small print.” Regret weighted her mother’s demeanor. “I didn’t want things to end this way.”

“I’ll go and talk with them,” Julia said. “I’ll take Susan. She’s good with financial stuff. We’ll show them the budgets Susan has done and tell them about the bookings we’ve lined up already.”

The lines on her mother’s pale face deepened and her posture sagged inward. “I’m sorry, Julia. This mess is my fault.”

Janet sat on the bed and took Elise’s hand. “Don’t worry. Julia will take care of everything.”

Julia sought her mother’s gaze and held it, pushing out confidence despite the quivers of fear dive-bombing like fishing seabirds in the pit of her stomach. “It’s not your fault, Mum. We’re on target to open this weekend instead of next. We intend to use the first week as a trial to sort out teething problems and have our grand opening night as I’d originally planned. I’ll ring the bank and arrange an appointment.” She folded the bank letter and tucked it into the pocket of her jacket. “How are you doing this morning?”

“Janet and I are going out for breakfast. I fancy some fresh air,” her mother said, still looking as if she blamed herself.

“That’s wonderful,” Julia said in a bracing voice. She would fix this if it killed her because she hated seeing the defeat sitting on her parent’s strong shoulders, weighing her down when she needed to focus on her health. “Do you need help getting dressed?” She didn’t ask if her mother was strong enough for the outing, despite thinking it. Her mother deserved sunshine in her life after working hard for as long as Julia could remember.

“Janet and I will manage.” Her voice regained a fraction of her normal determination.

Julia brushed a kiss over her mum’s cheek. “I’ll leave you to it then. I’ll be in the club if you need me for anything.”

She spent the next two hours practicing a dance routine and going through arrangements for their first private function.

Susan, Christina and Maggie arrived together and joined her practice. The music came to an end and they stopped, panting with exertion.

“That was brilliant,” Susan said. “I managed to get through the entire routine without a mistake.”

“Did you get your confirmation from
Farmer Wants a Wife
?” Christina asked.

“You’ve received more details?” Maggie demanded.

Susan nodded, looking a little sick. “The first elimination event is in two months.”

“Where is the event? What do you have to do? Spill already.” Maggie glowered a little. “Don’t make me pull the deets out of you.”

Christina took a deep breath. “They’re busing us to a vineyard at Matakana, north of Auckland. Each of the farmers speed dates his group of girls, and he’ll pick his eight favorites to get to know better.”

“I don’t know what to wear,” Susan wailed. “I’m so nervous I know I’m going to fluff my speed date. Remember the speed dating thing we went to last year? I sucked.”