PAYBACK (A Bad Boy Romance) (10 page)

F
inals came
and went without any contact with Cason. I tried to focus on my exams but my mind was stubbornly determined to bounce back and forth between the possibility that I was pregnant and the fear that Butcher might harm Cason if he found out.

I’d expected to hear from Cason by now but either he was laying low or he’d abandoned me.

I winced at the possibility.

Please, not that
.

Cason’s rejection would kill me.

It was also time for me to pack. Graduation was looming and Butcher had already instructed his men to pick me up the day before. I wasn’t going to be able to walk with my class.

Butcher wanted me home now.

The urgency of his request was odd. He’d always pushed education over building a relationship with him but now, he seemed anxious to have me home.

I wish I’d felt a stronger connection with Butcher. He was my only family but he was a stranger to me.

Sometimes I’d caught him looking at me oddly but it was gone before I could question it further.

Most times I thought I was imagining it because what was I suggesting?

My brother was not lusting after me. The very thought disgusted me.

Was it possible that Cason was right, that Butcher wasn’t my family at all?

An uncomfortable shudder shook my body.

I would have to pick between Cason or Butcher.

Cason was my future but Butcher was my past.

I didn’t want to choose but I would.

If Cason was right about Butcher, he had to answer for what he’d done.

My stomach roiled as the urge to puke overcame me. My nerves were shot.

Why hadn’t Cason called yet?

Please God, don’t make me a fool.

I grabbed a box and started packing my things, mentally saying goodbye to four years of my life. I hadn’t entrenched myself into university life but I would miss Paula, the librarian.

She’d been kind to me when no one else noticed I was alive.

The door opened and Johnny walked in. I jumped and glared at his entrance. “How about knocking first?” I suggested with a glower.

Johnny was my brother’s right hand man. He’d always reminded me a weasel. Tall, thin with a wiry build, he slouched and slinked, which I found really distasteful.

And now he was just walking into my apartment like he owned it.

“What do you want? I’m not done packing yet.”

“Where were you last week?” he asked, poking around my things, snooping. “You weren’t home.”

I narrowed my gaze. “And what business is it of yours where I was?”

He turned to cut a short glance my way before returning to his search. “Oh, I could care less but your brother cares a lot. Where were you?”

Was Butcher watching me? How would he know I hadn’t been home? The thought was nearly as distasteful as Johnny was ugly.

“I stayed with friends.”

“You don’t have friends.”

I blinked at the insult. “I have friends.”

“Yeah? Name one.”

“I’m not going to dignify that with an answer.”

“I’d hate for your brother to think that you were out being a slut. I don’t think he’d take to that very well.”

“Her name is Paula,” I gritted out. “I spent a few days with my friend, Paula. She’s the campus librarian. You wouldn’t understand because I doubt you’ve ever cracked a book in your life.”

“You do spend an awful lot of time in that library,” Johnny agreed, seeming to buy my explanation. “Guess it won’t take much to follow up.”

Fear sharpened my voice. “Get out, Johnny before I call my brother and have you tossed out.”

“Who do you think sent me?” Johnny grinned, giving me a look that chilled my blood. “Timeline’s been moved up. Your brother wants you home tonight. Don’t worry about packing this shit, you don’t need it. College is over.”

I balked. “This is not shit and I’m not leaving it behind. What has gotten into you? I’ll talk to my brother myself. Now get out or I’ll call campus security.”

“Holly…you always were an uppity bitch,” he murmured with a laugh. “Considering where you came from…seems funny to me.”

“What does that mean?”

He continued to chuckle. “Sweet little Holly…the princess. I hope the princess saved herself for her prince. I’d hate to see how that ends if she didn’t.”

I swallowed, feeling nauseous. “You’re insane. Get out.”

Why was he talking to me like this? I had a bitter taste in the back of my throat.

“I’ll be back to pick you up in an hour. Whatever you haven’t managed to pack stays behind.”

I started to protest but Johnny was already gone.

I didn’t have any way to contact Cason. Fear made my palms sweat. I wanted to back out. Something felt terribly off.

Why does Butcher want me home tonight?

Did he know about me and Cason?

Damn it, Cason…I need you. Where the hell are you?

I cast a nervous glance at the clock, feeling the tick of every tock as my hour slipped away.

I had no choice but to pack as Johnny directed.

If I was going to help Cason, I couldn’t let anyone know that anything had changed.

I rose and went to the mirror, pinching my cheeks when I saw how pale I’d become.

My hands were sweating and I looked as twitchy as a narc around a crew who were onto him.

How am I going to pull this off?

I didn’t look very excited to be going home; I looked terrified.

I guess I’d just have to figure it out and wing it.

Or else things were going to end badly for us all.

I
picked
up the phone on the first ring.

“Something is wrong,” Tito said. “I saw Johnny Malco go up to her apartment and she came out carrying boxes.”

“Graduation isn’t until tomorrow,” I said, frowning. “Why would she leave before accepting her degree?”

“They can mail her degree. Butcher is moving up the timeline for some reason. I don’t have to tell you that I got a bad feeling.”

“Me too,” I agreed grimly. “We got to get her out of there.”

“No, we got to let her do her part. We can’t let Butcher know anything is up. Don’t blow it.”

But I wasn’t good with that.

I was on edge. I hated being apart from Holly, especially knowing that she was heading into the lion’s den.

And if she was pregnant?

It was too early to tell but it was all I could think about.

I wanted her pregnant with my baby.

If Butcher found out Holly was pregnant, I was afraid of what he would do.

“Did you meet up with your Fed contact?” Tito asked. “What’s the word?”

“We need evidence that shows Butcher was responsible for the murder of Shay Trunnel and the injury to my sister.”

“And you’re placing your faith in a woman you hardly know,” Tito said, shaking his head. “This is going to end with both of us bleeding out our ass.”

I believed in Holly. I couldn’t explain my dogged faith. Was I blind to what was right in front of me? Was Holly playing me?

I had no way of knowing for sure.

Seeing as my original plan was shot to shit, I had no choice but to believe Holly would come through for us.

“You’ve gone soft,” Tito declared, his nostrils flaring. “What the hell happened to you? What about Christine?”

Anger flared. “Don’t,” I warned. “No one loves my sister more than me, including you.”

Tito had been in love with Christine for as long as I could remember but Christine had seen him as a brother. I think Tito had always hoped that eventually she’d change her mind.

And now, there was almost little chance of that happening.

“You’re putting all our lives in her hands,” he said, his voice rising. “We should’ve stuck with the goddamn original plan but you pussed out. Why?”

I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t owe anyone any explanations. I glowered and jerked open the fridge to grab a beer. “The plan was flawed to begin with,” I said, slamming the beer. I wiped my mouth, adding, “We finally have a chance to do things that might actually work. We got one shot to make this happen. Holly is the key that makes this work.”

“Only if she’s suddenly switched teams! I don’t get why you think she’s suddenly going to betray her fucking brother for you!”

“Because she fucking loves me!” I roared back, startling Tito.

I hadn’t meant to reveal so much but I needed Tito to relax, to believe with me because I was holding on by a thread.

“Love?” Tito repeated, incredulous. “Are you…are you kidding me? You’ve barely known each other for a week.”

“I know,” I bit out. “Don’t you think I know all this? I can’t explain it. I don’t understand. There’s something between us. I…I know she won’t betray me.”

Tito sighed and grabbed a beer as well before dropping into a chair. “Man, I hope you’re right,” he said, tipping back the bottle. “Because if you’re wrong…we’re all fucked.”

I nodded.

A beat of silence passed between us. We were both processing a lot of shit. So much was riding on Holly.

But I was left with my own conflict. Tito was right; it was a tall order to ask anyone to believe that Holly had true feelings for me, especially after how we’d started off.

What I didn’t say was that I didn’t know how to make heads or tails of what I was feeling either.

Love was a foreign concept for me.

I reserved all my love for my sister.

I didn’t let girls get attached.

Dealing with the drama of a woman clinging on my leg was something I didn’t need.

I’d shaken off more clingers than I could count.

Holly didn’t cling. If anyone was guilty of holding on too tight, it was me in this scenario.

I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I missed her soft body pressed against mine.

A piece of me felt ripped away.

Never in a million years would I have imagined that I’d be so twisted around by a woman.

But I was.

Maybe I ought to admit to Tito that I had feelings for Holly, too.

Would that make the difference?

Tito was my best friend, my crew brother.

However, even though I knew in my heart things had changed for me, I couldn’t quite get the words out.

Like a coward, I remained silent, filling my mouth with beer instead of the words that I should’ve said.

I
walked
into the house my brother owned, a huge sprawling mansion that he’d bought before I was in the picture. My memories of the place were sporadic, certain holidays, such as Christmas but most of the time, Butcher had kept me at arm’s length.

But even if I’d grown up in this place, I don’t think I’d ever consider it home.

The house was too big, impersonal and there were weird sounds at night.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was haunted but I sure didn’t like wandering the halls at night.

I went straight to my room, needing a minute to compose myself. My brother expected to see me at dinner. He’d already chosen a dress for me and it was waiting for me on the bed.

The dress was not to my tastes and made me uncomfortable. Tight and short, it wasn’t anything I would choose for myself.

But I didn’t want to make waves so I prepared to wear the dress.

A quick shower, a little make-up and a blow-out for my hair, I felt more settled. I shimmied into the dress, grunting as I tried pulling it over my curves. Eventually I managed to get the dress on but my breasts were spilling out in an obscene display.

I groaned.
How ridiculous
.

I wouldn’t be caught dead in this hot mess of Spandex and ruching.

Closing my eyes I tried to imagine that I was meeting Cason for dinner instead of my brother.

Would Cason like to see me in something like this?

Something sexy?

Thus far, I’d been pretty lacking in the sexy department. I didn’t even own a cute bra and panty set. I never saw the point in throwing away good money on such frivolous things when I could spend that money on more books.

I guess it would be fair to say that Cason had seen me at my worst: drugged, dirty, smelly and he’d still found me sexy.

That thought warmed the cold knot growing in my stomach.

I would need something to keep me going while I tried to find what Cason needed to bring justice to his sister and her friend.

I stared into the mirror, seeking courage from the woman staring back.

You can do this
, I told her.
Be brave
.

I was different, no longer content to play the part of the shy girl. Butcher had always managed my life and I’d gone along with whatever he’d dictated. But that was over. I didn’t need him telling me what to do or how to act.

I drew a shaky breath.
Time to face the boogey-man
.

Slipping into the high heels that accompanied the dress, I ignored the gaudy jewelry. I already felt like an idiot, I wasn’t going to look like a hooker, too.

I exited my room and found a guard posted at my door.

“Mr. Brannon is waiting for you in the dining room,” he told me, his hands folded in front of him, his stare hard.

I nodded and hurried away, disconcerted by the presence of a sentry at my door. Was Butcher protecting me or keeping me prisoner?

I couldn’t say which direction my thoughts were leaning. Everything was jumbled in my head whereas before I’d been oblivious to certain cues that would’ve been alarming to most people.

Now, my nerves were a tangled mess.

Just as the guard had said, Butcher awaited me in the dining room, dressed in a tailored suit that made him look like an overdressed gorilla.

My brother had never been particularly svelte. He liked his sweets far too much to maintain his figure. He was barrel-chested and his gut had begun to round out.

In a way, he looked like the historical photos of King Henry VIII. And since learning what Butcher had done to Cason’s sister and her friend, the comparison seemed quite appropriate.

Butcher’s eyes lit up as he smiled with approval at my dress. “It looks stunning on you, Holly. Just as I knew it would.”

Somehow I found my smile and took my seat at his side. “You shouldn’t have,” I murmured, shaking my napkin out onto my lap. “You’ve already done so much for me.”

“I enjoy spoiling you,” Butcher said, then he noted I wasn’t wearing the jewelry and his smile faded to a frown. “Was there a problem with the necklace and earrings?”

“No, I’m just not into all that much jewelry,” I answered with a brief smile.

“When I buy something for you, I like to see you wear it.”

The displeasure in his tone was mirrored by his expression.

I nodded, licking my lips. “I’ll remember that next time.”

“See that you do,” Butcher said, seemingly pleased with my answer and ready to move on. “Congratulations on your achievement. I am very proud of you. Straight A’s and the Dean’s List. Very good. Money well spent.”

“I’m thinking of going into some field with research capabilities. I love to read,” I said, trying to make conversation but Butcher waved me off.

“Not necessary. You have your degree and now it’s time to focus on the future.”

“Well, that’s what I’m trying to do,” I said, frowning. “I didn’t just spend four years of my life busting my butt for nothing. I want a career.”

We were interrupted by our dinner arriving. I grimaced at the rare steak bleeding on my plate. I hated rare meat. I could barely stomach looking at the bloody mess much less put it in my mouth.

But my brother had no such obstacle and immediately tucked into his steak, cutting a big piece and stuffing it into his mouth. Of course, his full mouth didn’t stop him from talking either.

“I’m very proud of you, Holly,” he said again, his knife scraping against the fine China, causing me to wince. “But we have matters to attend. I have something to share with you that you might find confusing at first but once you get over the initial shock I think you’ll see how it’s really not that big of a change.”

I reached for my wine glass, needing to fortify my nerves, but stopped short when I remembered I might be pregnant. Instead, I sipped my water. “What do you mean?”

Butcher leaned back, wiping his mouth. “You’ve always been very special to me,” he began. “From the first day I saw you.”

“Well, that’s good to know considering you’re my brother.”

“Actually,” he said, leaning forward, pinning me with his gaze. “I’m not.”

“Not what?”

“Not your brother.”

I was thankful I hadn’t eaten anything yet because I couldn’t swallow very well.

“I’m sorry, what?” I cleared my throat, stalling as I tried to process. It was one thing for Cason to suggest the theory, quite another to have it confirmed by the source. “Did I heard you correctly?”

“You are not my sister.” Butcher repeated, seeming pleased with my reaction.

I stared.

Had I just fallen down the rabbit hole?

But apart from the shock, I was overcome with relief.

Butcher Brannon wasn’t my brother.

I wasn’t related to the man who had done such despicable things to Cason’s sister and her friend.

My relief was short-lived; I needed answers.

“Are you going to explain or do I have to pull it out of you?” I asked stiffly.

His smile disappeared and his brows knitted with displeasure. “Watch your tone,” he warned as if I were an unruly child who needed discipline. “Remember who you’re talking to.”

“No, actually, I don’t know who I’m talking to,” I said, my temper rising. “All these years you pretended to be someone you were not. So what am I to you? Why did you tell me you were my brother? I can’t understand why anyone would do that?”

Clearly, my reaction wasn’t what he’d anticipated. Maybe Butcher was so accustomed to people jumping when he snapped his fingers that he didn’t remember how to deal with opposition.

“Who am I?” I asked, tucking my hands in my lap when I saw them trembling. I didn’t want Butcher to see how I was holding everything together by the thinnest thread. I was trying to be brave but nothing felt safe, most of all, Butcher seemed far more dangerous as a man rather than simply my brother. “Where did I come from?”

“I took you in, that’s all that matters,” he said.

“No, I need to know my story,” I disagreed hotly. “You’ve dropped a bomb in my lap. You have to expect questions.”

“Fair enough,” he grudgingly allowed, leaning back in his chair to regard me with hard eyes. “Your mama sold you to me when you were five. For your own protection, I told everyone you were my sister. Having my name has afforded you opportunities that you never would’ve had otherwise.”

So in Butcher’s mind, he was the hero. Somehow I found that a stretch.

“Why would my mother sell me to a stranger?” I asked, trying not to get emotional about the shocking truth of my origin. I tried to separate feelings from reason because I needed to remain calm. “And why would you agree to buy a child?”

“Your mama was a whore,” he answered simply. “And a drug addict. I felt bad for you. So, I gave her a wad of cash, had her sign away her rights and then she went away, true to her word.”

But I didn’t believe it. “Did you kill her?”

“She went away,” he answered, sipping his wine, unperturbed by my question but I could tell pressing harder wouldn’t yield results. “As the years went by, I realized there was something special about you. I enjoyed playing the part of your foster brother because I saw that you were a worthy investment.”

Investment?
Good God, I wanted to vomit
. “An investment implies you have plans for the future. What are your plans for me?” I asked coolly.

His smile was alarming. “See? That’s what I’ve always sensed about you…your ability to cut through the bullshit to get to the point. That’s a talent, girl. One I hope to benefit from. I think we’ll make a good team.”

Team?
What the hell was he talking about?
I held my breath, waiting for him to finish.

Butcher reached for my hand and it was all I could do to keep from jerking away to avoid his touch.

“I want you to be my wife.”

* * *

I
think my face froze
.

I mumbled something about needing to the use the restroom and then fled to my room.

It was stunning how calmly Butcher had proposed to me, as if I hadn’t spent my life believing he was my brother.

As much as I had wanted to believe otherwise, Cason had been right.

My entire childhood took on a completely different meaning. The reason Butcher had sent me away was so I hadn’t formed a brotherly attachment to him.

He wanted me to think of him romantically.

I wanted to puke.

Was he insane? Butcher was much older than me, by twenty years.

Had he planned this all along? And if I wasn’t a Brannon, who was I?

I needed Cason.

Tears burned behind my lids.

Suddenly, my door opened and Butcher was there. I gasped and wiped at my eyes, feeling violated with him in my space.

“I know this is a big shock,” Butcher started gruffly. “But give it time to sink in. I’ve always loved you, Holly. I want to give you the life you deserve.”

“Who am I?” I asked, ignoring his declaration of affection. “What was my mother’s name? What’s my real name?”

“Don’t dwell on the past when the future is far more interesting,” he advised. “Get some sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.”

But I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to leave.

“I’m going to get my own apartment,” I said as he started to close the door. My statement caused him to pause, his gaze narrowed. “If I’m not family, you shouldn’t have to pay my expenses. You’ve already done too much. I don’t want to burden you any further.”

“Maybe I wasn’t clear,” he said. “You are going to be my wife. End of story.”

And then he shut the door.

I ran and turned the lock with trembling fingers. He probably had a key but even the pretense of locking him out gave me some semblance of security.

Was I a prisoner here?

Sick, twisted, and perverted.

Butcher wasn’t right in the head.

How could I have missed such a huge red flag?

Perhaps I sensed something was wrong, which was why I had always sought solace in books.

But what could I do now?

I could run.

But that would leave Cason with nothing.

I couldn’t do that to him.

I fell back onto the bed and closed my eyes, my head starting to throb.

I didn’t know what to do. I felt trapped.

And useless.

How would I manage to find what Cason needed?

I didn’t think I could stomach playing along with Butcher, pretending to feel romantically toward the man I’d always thought was my brother.

I shuddered.

Good God, that’s what Johnny had been alluding to back at my apartment. Disgusting little weasel.

No one knew more than Johnny about Butcher’s dealings.

Chances were Johnny knew where I came from.

I must’ve fallen asleep for when my eyes popped open as a hand clamped over my mouth, all was quiet and still.

I bit back a scream when I realized it was Cason.

“Oh my God,” I exclaimed, hugging him tightly. “How’d you get in?”

“The window. Butcher’s arrogance is his mistake. He has shit security around the perimeter of the house. All I had to do was climb to your window.”

“How’d you know it was mine?”

“I didn’t,” he admitted with a rueful chuckle. “I figured I’d have to take my chances. Luck was on my side.”