Perfect Fit: Book 4 of the Fated Hearts Series (2 page)

My split lip throbbed and my heart ached painfully in my chest as I found myself walking to my car in the dark. It was a painful reminder that I still had a heart. If a person possessed a heart, then it could be shattered into a trillion pieces. That had happened to me once, and at the time, I thought the organ was lost to me forever. However, when it came to Chase it seemed like a fragment of my heart still remained.

Once again, I had lashed out at the only person in the world who meant anything to me.
Why?
If I was being honest with myself, and I always tried to be, I’d have admitted that I reacted out of fear. My hurtful comment was a knee-jerk reaction and a self-defense mechanism that I had been perfecting for years. I was going to lose him and then I’d have no one.
So, why not push him away and get it over with?

“Hey, your wallet fell out of your suit jacket.” A deep voice with just a hint of raspy sexiness echoed in the darkness behind me. I turned to see who the voice belonged to and found myself looking into the twinkling blue eyes I had noticed in the bar. I allowed myself a minute to admire the rest of his physical attributes. He was tall and lean, as he walked towards me with an almost predatory gait. This sexy stranger exuded confidence and sensuality that I wanted to sample for myself. His blond hair shone beneath the streetlights when he walked beneath them. The strands looked like they would feel silky between my fingers and I imagined gripping his hair while pushing my cock between his lush lips. “It must have flown out when Gray knocked you off your stool.” The last part was said with a bit of snark and familiarity that let me know he was acquainted with Chase’s boyfriend fairly well. “Although, you got a few good hits in yourself, Jagger.” So, he had opened my wallet, looked at my license, and saw my name.

I had hated that name since I was old enough to realize it was odd, which was probably around the time I went to school. The other kids made fun of it mercilessly and I had heard enough snotty remarks about my mom’s character and the reason I got the name to last me a lifetime. No kid should hear “I bet his mom was a groupie and he knocked her up,” followed by “No way Mick would tap that nasty ass. God only knows where it has been.” When people remark about how cruel kids are they have no further to look than in their own fucking mirrors. Monkey see, monkey do.

Somehow, hearing my name roll off the beautiful blond stranger’s tongue made it seem less offensive to me. There was no derision in his tone or in his expression. No, I only saw the same curiosity I felt about him reflected back at me. Even in the dim light, his eyes twinkled and implored me to be a little bad. I felt the effect of his crooked smile in the pit of my stomach and in my groin. “I go by JJ.” I told him.

His head tilted to the side as he studied me closely. “That name doesn’t suit you either.”

“It doesn’t?”
Who was this guy?

“No. It’s a name you give to a boy and
you
are definitely all man.” I felt my body heat rise as his perusal continued until my body tingled from head to toe, as if he touched me everywhere instead of just looked at me. “I think Jag suits you better.”

“Jag?” I scoffed a little, I couldn’t help myself. No one had ever questioned what I wanted to be called, but this guy had. “And just who might you be? It’s obvious you’re acquainted with Clark in there.” I liked to use Clark instead of Grayson because that is what Chase called Gray until he learned his real name. I used the name Clark to irritate Gray and it worked out pretty nicely.

“Clark? Oh yeah, that’s what Chase called him before he learned his real name.” The blond simply shrugged his shoulders slightly. “I can see the resemblance to Clark Kent.” The mysterious man walked closer and held out my wallet to me, which I accepted and placed back inside my suit coat pocket. “My name is Miller Brexler and I’m Clark’s best friend. You must be the fuck buddy.”

Hearing myself being called that hurt me somehow, even though I knew my place in Chase’s life. In actuality, the sexual aspect of our friendship was a rare occurrence. Chase wasn’t dialing me up every day, every week, or even every month. Hell, there were years that went by when we weren’t physical with one another. I’m sure our relationship was a hard one to grasp, but I didn’t feel like I owed this guy an explanation – no matter how sexy I found him to be or that he got my mind temporarily off of my troubles. Besides, Chase and I were over the minute he laid eyes on Gray, he just didn’t realize it at the time. I would accept the loss of his touch as long as I could have him as a friend. He was all I had. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“What are you going to be doing now that this avenue is closed?”

“Do you mean
who
am I going to be doing? Are you looking for a Dial-A-Dick friend, Miller?” I had gotten close enough to feel the heat that came off of his body, but I couldn’t say when exactly that had happened. It was if my body had moved on its own volition, reacting to the chemistry between us. “Would you like to submit a resume?” Miller’s nostrils flared slightly, which told me that I wasn’t the only one who felt the connection.

“As tempting as I find the idea, I think I better pass.” He raised his hand as if to touch me, but let it fall back to his side instead. “I think us hooking up might complicate things for our friends and their budding romance.”

I released a deep breath, unaware that I had been holding it. Had I wanted him to say yes or no? I just met the guy and it wasn’t like he had the only available ass in town. Still, I felt a keen disappointment over his answer even though I knew he was right.

“Alright then. It was nice to meet you, Miller. I’m sure our paths will cross again, yes?”

That crooked smile of his appeared again and it made me want to kiss it clean off his face. “Definitely. Drive safely, Jag. I’m going to head back inside the bar to make sure Gray doesn’t get into any more fights.” Miller began to walk backwards a few steps like he wasn’t ready to look away from me yet. He offered me one last crooked smile before he turned around and headed back to the bar.

I turned around and began walking to my car, even though I wanted to continue to watch him. His subtle reminder about my scuffle with Gray brought me right back to reality and reminded me how much I had hurt Chase. The self-loathing I felt was enough to erase the warm and tingly feelings that Miller gave me.

I pulled out my phone once I reached my car and tapped out a quick text to Chase. I knew he’d be working and I didn’t expect a quick response; I could only hope I’d get
any
response from him eventually.

I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. I’m truly happy for you, even when I don’t know how to express it. Please call me when you have a free moment so I can grovel properly – J

I didn’t expect him to answer right away, but I didn’t think he’d ignore my calls and texts for a few weeks either. They were the loneliest days of my life and I feared I had truly lost his friendship forever. Then I ran into him and Gray at a charity ball and I refused to go away until he listened to my apology. It was also the same night that he and Gray had their first dustup and Chase turned to me, needing his friend.

I hated to see him hurting so badly as I drove him home that night from the ball. I hated even more hearing the anguish in his voice and the sobs that wracked his body as he cried against my chest. I knew in that moment that the only way I could make up for the times that I had hurt him was to do whatever I could to make sure he and Gray worked out their problems.

I had seen the love Gray felt for Chase. Damn it, Chase deserved to be loved like that. I didn’t know why Gray froze the way he did in front of his ex-boyfriend, but I was certain it was some kind of misunderstanding. I had tried to tell Chase as much, but he didn’t want to hear it. Luckily, Gray showed up not long after we arrived back at Chase’s apartment. I let them have their private moment while I waited in the parking lot for Gray to return.

“Don’t let him give up,” I told Gray as he approached his car. “He wants time to think and you should give him time, but not too much or he’ll convince himself what he felt wasn’t real.”

“I’m surprised you’re not trying to take advantage of the situation and get him back for yourself.”

“You’re who he loves and who he wants. He never felt about me the way he does you, Gray. Don’t you fucking blow this, either.” My voice cracked, showing him my one vulnerability – Chase. “I need for him to have his happily-ever-after, Gray.”

“Because you couldn’t give it to him,” Gray replied. It wasn’t a question. “You love him.”

“I will never be what he needs and I would only cause him more hurt, but you can give him the love and life that I can’t. So, it hurts like hell to see another man make him happy, but I love him enough to let him go. Don’t fuck this up, asshole.”

I did him a real solid that night and I should have asked him for Miller’s phone number in return, but I didn’t capitalize on the moment. I simply went home to my lonely condo and thought about the blue-eyed man who had been in my thoughts a lot more than I was comfortable admitting.

I FOUND MYSELF
in unchartered territory once Gray met and fell in love with Chase Rivers. Alone. Even when Gray had been in a long-term relationship with Devon the Douche, he still made time for us to hang out. Once he and Preston started their own company, our buddy time had been reduced, but not nixed completely. That all changed when he truly fell in love; his whole world revolved around Chase and the private time he could carve out for them.

At first, I was concerned that he was rushing into another relationship too soon. Some people did that, they just didn’t like to be alone. Gray had been miserable the last several years of his relationship with The Douche Nozzle, so any good friend would worry. Then I met Chase and really got to know him, I could easily see why Gray was so enraptured with the guy. He was sweet, funny, and he loved Gray so much that I knew I could rest easy. Gray had done what so many dreamed about, but didn’t always achieve.

Gray found his happily-ever-after love; the kind that makes you sorta gag because it’s almost too sweet, but at the same time you can’t help but envy it just a teeny tiny bit. I never really got caught up in the one-guy-forever concept, because I just didn’t think I’d ever find
that
guy – the one I’d want to look at every single day for the rest of my life, forsaking all other tight asses until death do us part. The world was filled with tight asses just waiting to be claimed, so why would I want to tie myself to one? I just didn’t see it working for me.

I missed hanging out with Gray, but I understood that things changed and you had to adapt with the times or get left behind. That’s how I found myself joining a summer basketball league with a bunch of strangers, albeit some super sexy ones. I had a thing for basketball shorts and the way they hung on a man’s body. I loved how the silky fabric draped over the round curve of their asses then hung loosely over their legs. It made me want to slide my hands beneath the shorts to feel the hard length of their hamstrings and quadriceps. I was a complete sucker for a set of toned legs. My eyes locked on a particular scrumptious specimen on the opposing team. I had played against a lot of teams over the summer, but I was positive that I had not played against him. There was something familiar about him though.