Perfect Freedom (30 page)

Theo tore himself out of his arms and reared up over him and backed away on his knees. Robbie tried to turn over but Theo held him on his back by seizing his legs and placing himself between them and lifting them over his shoulders. He pulled his hips in to him. Robbie had barely grasped what was happening before Theo had entered him. He shouted his welcome and moved his hips to draw him in.

After the initial pain, it became the most sublime sensation he had ever experienced—the godlike instrument advancing smoothly into him, deeper, always deeper, filling him with its glory. It was thrilling to be able to look at the boy who was taking him. There was an exultant light in Theo's eyes and his smile gloated down at him as he completed the long penetration. Their orgasms were quick. Theo's weight went slack on top of Robbie and they murmured repeatedly the one word of love they both knew.

The engine was cut to half-speed and they stirred and Theo withdrew gently, still feeling huge and hard. He pulled himself to his knees. His cock slanted out at a downward angle, long and heavy with latent power. Robbie lifted himself and knelt beside him and they put their arms around each other and looked ahead.

They were approaching a short strip of beach backed by a stand of tall reeds. A segment of moon cast pale light over the peaceful scene. Theo gave him a hug and sprang up and dived into the sea. Robbie followed him and they romped about in the water while the twins cut the engine and beached the boat. They were in their clothes again. They waved as they jumped ashore and disappeared into the reeds. Robbie supposed the evening had some logic but he had no idea what it was. As long as he and Theo were allowed to remain together, he felt no need to understand. They revived each other's erections and clambered back into the boat and Theo took him again. They dozed in each other's arms and awoke with erections once more. Robbie could feel their bodies attaining new heights of ecstasy with each confirmation of their passion for each other. They were growing together into perfect physical union, each alert and responsive to the other's slightest touch or move.

The twins returned during an exquisite lull filled with secret caresses and the yearning pledges of their eyes and loose, openmouthed exchanges of saliva. They put a bottle on the bow and stripped off their clothes and tossed them into the boat and plunged into the sea. Robbie and Theo laughed softly together and teased each other with their eyes and disentangled themselves and jumped in after them. They played together in shallow water until all four had erections. The brothers were remarkably free with each other's bodies. The twins made much of Theo's cock and held Robbie beside him to compare them. To Robbie, this seemed a pointless confrontation, but the twins seemed impressed by him. He was beginning to be proud of it. Maybe it was bigger than most.

They all scrambled back into the boat and rolled about together on the cushions, kissing and fondling each other indiscriminately. The bottle contained more
retsina
. They passed it from hand to hand and drank. Robbie displayed the skills of his mouth to sustain the erotic play and made them all laugh with pleasure. He was aware of a miracle taking place. Lust had provided him with a family. They really
were
all brothers; a lifetime of solitude had been wiped away. He was cradled in an interlocking web of warmth and affection and desire. It could happen only in an atmosphere of male camaraderie. Tears of happiness gathered in his eyes.

When the wine was finished, the twins rolled him and Theo over onto their stomachs and took them. Robbie was so stunned by the sight of the brothers copulating that it took him a moment to realize that he had been chosen by Tassos. The circle was complete. They had all had him. Shock was replaced by almost uncontainable excitement, the strange excitement of witnessing the act of incestuous love but above all the excitement of sharing with Theo, the extravagant embodiment of triumphant masculinity, his surrender to a man's desire. Theo wanted to be taken too. Each knew intimately what the other was experiencing. They were indissolubly one. They reached out to each other and wound their arms around each other and locked each other in an iron grip with their mouths joined while the twins found their satisfaction in them.

As soon as Robbie and Theo were free, their bodies lunged to each other and Theo was on his young partner, driving deep into him. They lay motionless together, joined and suspended in the profound harmony they could find in each other's bodies. The engine started and the twins moved around them and the boat began to back away from land. Robbie felt its balance shift as the twins returned to the stern. He lay under Theo's weight, welcoming it with all his soul, feeling the divine flesh swelling and throbbing deep within him, scarcely daring to breathe for fear of dislodging it, and tried to fit tonight's events into the confusing picture he was assembling of a life he hadn't known existed a few weeks ago and yet to which by nature he seemed to belong.

Dark hints of obscene jokes and schoolboy innuendo told him that everything he'd done this evening was vile and unspeakable but his three brothers had participated openly and unashamedly. If everybody here was
comme ça
all it meant was that he was like everybody else. He had known there was nothing strange about him; he had only to find the right place to be understood and accepted.

Why here and not elsewhere? Perhaps school wasn't life in a microcosm, as everybody liked to pretend, but a queer hermetic enclave in a world of freedom and tolerance. A boy as simply wholesome as Theo could enjoy being taken for another's pleasure. Only his own craving to worship the source of masculinity with his mouth still seemed an aberration. He didn't understand why he was different in this respect. It seemed such an integral part of everything that tonight had offered him. “Naturally,” Johnny had said when he had admitted that he wanted to suck Theo's cock, but it evidently wasn't natural to his brothers.

He supposed it wasn't important so long as he wasn't despised for wanting it. His brothers had encouraged him. He suspected that Theo might share his worship if he allowed himself to; maybe he didn't want his brothers to see him do it. Always an element of secrecy. It seemed to him that everybody was awfully mixed up about the whole matter.

He wasn't. He was sure that being joined to Theo and becoming one with him was a manifestation of some universal brotherhood of love. When Theo began to move in him, slowly and with total mastery of him, it was a culmination of the evening's joy, peaceful with the proven knowledge of each other's needs, brimming with acknowledged desire. They prolonged it, heading off the wrench of an unbearable ending, while the sky paled above them.

Eventually, a call from one of the twins intruded on their breathtaking absorption in each other. Robbie understood that their time had run out and they led each other to the ultimate overwhelming orgasm. The engine was cut back and they sat up, dazed that the world still existed outside themselves. They tidied themselves up with wet cloths. Theo looked into Robbie's eyes with smiling tenderness and they kissed gently and murmured their word of love as the twins brought the boat into the quaiside near where
Northern Star
was moored. Robbie had no sense of parting. He couldn't give any coherent thought to the day that was dawning. They belonged to each other forever.

He slept late and profoundly while life on board went on without him. When Stuart went ashore during the morning, he ran into von Eschenstadt at a waterfront café and joined him.

“Is it too early for beer?” Stuart asked. “I'm dying of thirst. It must be all that resinated wine.”

“Yes. Yes. An acquired taste, as I imagine all tastes are.”

“Come to think of it, I suppose you're right.” Stuart was intrigued by the German. He had been everywhere and done all sorts of things. Stuart saw in him a reflection of his own old ideal. He was a wanderer, rootless, self-sufficient, in contact with life itself, not with somebody else's idea of what life should be. They discussed their respective plans for the next month or two. As Stuart expected, Carl's were amorphous.

“I live where I find myself,” he said. “Is that not the best way?”

“I used to think so. I couldn't afford it.”

“Money comes,” Carl laughed and smoothed his thick yellow hair with a well-manicured hand. “People think I must be a rich man but I'm not. I think it has made my life more interesting.”

“And you've never married? That makes a difference.”

“Yes, but I've not always been alone. I've had some charming interludes. I would have made a poor husband. I am too much in love with the world.”

“You don't think you'll stay in Greece much longer?”

“Who knows.” His shirt was open down to his waist and he scratched his broad chest reflectively. “Another day. Another week. What you tell me about St. Tropez interests me. I am bored with the rest of the Riviera. Perhaps I will go to St. Tropez later in the summer.”

“You could always stay with us.” Stuart was pleased with the idea and thought Helene would be too. They still had to populate their mansion. “You could even go back with us on the boat.”

“Ah, my friend. I never travel on yachts with people I want to remain friends with.” He slapped Stuart jovially on the shoulder and tapped his glass on the table for another drink. “I have made my worst enemies on boats. To stay with you on dry land would be charming. I have another idea. You want to get on your way. It's getting late for a long sail today. Why don't you go to Hydra this afternoon? If you like, I'll go with you and introduce you to friends. I think we can risk a few hours on board together.”

They laughed. Stuart had never heard of Hydra but listening to Carl he gathered that it was another of the places that couldn't be missed. Carl admitted that he wanted to go there anyway and that the passenger boats were unpredictable. The Coslings would be doing him a favor as well as getting farther along their way. Stuart agreed.

“It's a lovely day for a sail, just enough breeze,” Carl said authoritatively. “You're planning to go to Delos of course.”

“Delos? Right next to Mykonos? The one they call the birthplace of Apollo?”

“Yes. One of the wonders of the Aegean. I know it well. We must plan to meet there.”

“I thought we'd make it one of our last stops, along about the middle of next month, before we have to head for home.”

“Perfect. Most tourists see it only during the day when boats bring groups over from Mykonos. I love it in the evening and early morning when it's deserted. There's no place to stay except for a few houses for the archeologists who work there. Fortunately, I have a friend working there now who has asked me to visit him. I'll accept his invitation for the first part of June and be there to welcome you. We will be friends. I've fallen in love with the Coslings.” He smiled his youthfully winning smile.

Stuart chuckled. “You're quite a fellow, Carl. I wish all Germans were like you.”

Carl winced. “Please. Must you remind me? I haven't gone back to my country for four years. Do you think me irresponsible? Should I go home and make a stand against dictatorship?”

“I don't know. I've had twinges of conscience myself. I even thought of joining the Loyalists in Spain a year or two ago. What do you think's going to happen?”

“Nothing, I hope, that will end by making us shoot at each other, my friend.”

“It sounds absurd, doesn't it? All the same, I think if we had a Hitler at home I'd feel obliged to go and try to do something about it.”

“Then you condemn me? Everybody tells me that there is no resistance to
der Führer
. If a leader has the undivided support of his country, what is one man to do?”

Everything, Stuart was inclined to reply but he was brought up against the imponderables of his own life. He had fought for and won greater freedom than he had ever bargained for. What was he going to do with it? This cruise was a time-killer, just as building the house and furnishing it and planning the gardens had been time-killers. Eventually he would have to come to grips with a life of leisure. What would he find to give some importance to his existence? Helene was finding a happy new equilibrium. Was he essential to it? Robbie had obviously outgrown whatever it was that had left him friendless for so many years. He had taken an interest in the boys last night and evidently got along easily with them. His painting gave him a direction in life. He was ready to get out on his own. Fathers quickly outlived their usefulness. He smiled ruefully at his new friend and shrugged. “Perhaps we'd better stick to our plans for Delos. When you come to see us in St. Tropez, I might've thought of all sorts of things one man can do.”

“I don't wish you to think ill of me. The world is complicated. Your Loyalists were communists. Surely Western Europe is anticommunist. America, too. We should all unite to fight communism. Wouldn't that be best for all of us?”

“If Hitler really wanted to fight communism instead of trying to grab all of Europe, it might be worth discussing.”

“It looks very bad, I admit, but I must go on believing that Germany will once more emerge as a great civilizing force in the world.”

“That's something we can all hope, but if I were you I'd find it pretty hard to believe as long as your compatriots tolerate Hitler. What about the Jews?”

“I can hardly bear to think of it. I have many dear Jewish friends.”

“I'm glad we agree about that. To me, that's the most appalling part of it. The rest could be considered old-fashioned power politics on a more or less brutal scale.” Stuart was glad the German had come through the touchy conversation without damning himself. He too had been rather friendless for the last few years. “If you're coming with us, do you have to pack or anything?”

“No, no. I'll run out to Mina's house and pick up a few things.”