Perfect Imperfections (6 page)

CHAPTER 10

“I don’t want to go back to work just yet.”

Kim made this admission to Cheryl as she went through the line of handmade jewelry. She had come in a little early for their lunch date to go through the new collection displayed at Cheryl’s store of handmade jewelry.

“Why?” said Cheryl. “Won’t you get bored just sitting at home?” Simultaneously, she smiled at one of the customers as she handed her the sealed store bag and bid her goodbye. “I hope you enjoy your purchase here today. Do visit us again,” she told her and then she turned to Kim and said, “What do you want to do? Continue flying?”

“No. I mean I do enjoy the experience and the places I get to visit,” said Kim. She had gone around the aisle and came back to the counter where Cheryl was making some entry on the computer. “But I want to take some time off and figure some stuff out.”

Cheryl was just a year older to Kim, but had been quicker at everything. Kim admired her for her ambitiousness and she already had a successful business of handmade jewelry, which she sourced from various places around the world. She was a feminist in every way, fiercely independent and that made it very hard for her to be in a relationship longer than a month. She was yet to find a man who would not get intimidated because she could look after herself.

“What stuff?” Cheryl eyed her over her purple cat-rimmed glasses.

“Oh, I don’t know.” Kim flopped on the stool next to Cheryl. “That’s what I don’t know. I don’t know what and that’s driving me crazy. I want to figure it out.”

Cheryl listened to Kim with a deadpan look. “Okay, taking time off makes sense,” she said. “But you better not fall into that pit where getting out and finding a job becomes difficult just because you have been ‘unemployed’ for too long.”

“I know,” said Kim. “And, anyway, I don’t know how comfortable I’d be in a nine-to-five job. Maybe, I should do something like you are doing. You know.”

“I know. I know you’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah! And for a change, I can afford to take some time off without worrying about the finances.” A hint of sorrow laced those last words. Cheryl just placed her hand into Kim’s and gently squeezed it.

“But before that I want to invite you and Beth and Bill and the others for dinner one of these days,” said Kim, quickly changing the topic. She didn’t want to think why they had all the money these days. It felt wrong that Richard’s life insurance claim had cleared and, at the end of it all, he had provided for his girls just like he had promised Judith so many years ago.

***

With all the pain and drama and loss, the Noyes family could have done with a happy moment. And so, when Kim decided to have her close friends over for a dinner get-together it became the center of focus from all three of them. It was a perfect time to celebrate Kim moving back home and Sam had got the job as the sales coordinator at the Duke Mall near City Center as well.

So Kim went all out to get the guest list ready, even though there would not be more than twenty people. She worked on the menu as well. She wanted to have a mix of the different cuisines she had experienced and enjoyed. When the menu was finalized, she realized she couldn’t get everything done on her own so she went ahead and hired some help to get things organized. She had not intended for it all to turn out this big with the decorations and stuff but when it came to details, she didn’t want to compromise. She wanted to have a happy moment for Sam, for Judith, and it felt nice that she could do that for them without having money be a concern. Also, she had Dave to help her out.

Kim realized that the insistent ring of her phone that she has assigned to Dave’s contact was not going to go away until she answered “Yes?”

“Just checking? Did the guy I send for the flowers come in?”

“Yes, I gave him the details of how I want the flowers arranged. How did you get him to take such a small order? I mean they are supposed to be the best and I am sure they don’t have the time to decorate house parties.”

“Yeah,” he replied. “I happen to know them, so…”

“You happen to know a lot of people,” she said and that brought a smile to her face. It really did seem that Dave knew everyone, and that always made things happen for Kim.

“Did your friends confirm if they are coming?” she asked him. “I don’t want to be short on food for last minute add-ons.”

“Yes, they’ll be there,” said Dave. “Suzanne just needed to find a babysitter which she couldn’t. So they’ll have to drive to her mother’s place to drop the kids off for the night which means they might get a little late but Saurabh said they’ll be there.”

“Okay, now go, I have work to do and remember to get the license for drinks.” Kim hung up and went back to the grocery list that she was working on with Judith.

Like every party that anyone plans, Kim felt she could have done better with a little more time. She had personally prepared most of the dishes and the ones that were to be made on-the-go were prepped and systematically kept in the order that they would have to go out in. Her need to be organized was put to use well and she had detailed instructions for the two hired helps and the server written and stuck to the refrigerator with magnets. She was stepping into the freaks category with the hired helps, but they knew not to tick Kim off with their jokes. She fussed over the flowers and cushions, and the beer cans that were stacked in the corner of the rooms.

Sam walked in just when Kim was waiting for the guests to arrive. She fluffed the cushions for about the twentieth time, when Sam said angrily, “Will you stop fussing? We are not having the Queen of England or the Sheikh of Dubai coming over; just your friends. Will you relax?”

Then Sam asked, “Did you figure out what you are wearing?” Just then there was a ring at the door. “There, that must be Cheryl or my friends.” Sam said and went to answer it.

“I didn’t manage to buy anything like I had initially thought, so I’ll just wear the first thing I can find in my closet.” Kim hurried into her room, trying not to panic.

From inside the room, Kim could hear Sam at the door greeting her friends. “Hey, you guys are on time! That’s a marked improvement from how you were.” Kim guessed them to be Neel, Becky and Anita, Sam’s friends. She then entered her room to find a beautiful white chiffon gown laid out on her bed with dull gold bangles, dangling earrings, and a long chain with a pixie pendant and with a note at the side table that read ‘For my Love’.

Of all the things Dave did to pamper Kim—and he did a lot of pampering—this had to top it all. She couldn’t help but smile ear-to-ear as she got dressed, and the smile did not fade as she went back into the living room where Bill, Cheryl and Beth had already arrived amongst Sam’s and Judith’s guests.

Dave came in behind Kim and whispered, “Perfect!” He then slid his arm around her waist and escorted her to Saurabh and Suzanne to introduce them to her.

The party was just as Kim had expected. It was easy, everyone mingled around, the hired help did just fine, and even though she would have loved to check on them, she reminded herself that she needed to be out with the guests.

“Really, what is the point? They are doing a fine job without you breathing down on them,” Beth teased.

The music, which Bill had taken charge of, was perfect for the evening. Everything was just perfect, but could have been so much more if Richard was there to be a part of this. The thought was like a piercing dagger that left Kim felt teary.
No I am not going to this to myself.
She thought and forced to make sense of what Dave and Sam were talking. It seemed like Sam had introduced some of her friends and Dave interrogated them with a series of questions.

“….so Jake, where is this gallery that you said you have leased?” Dave seemed unusually interested in Jake, a slim guy with a slight hunch, with a mop of ruffled brown hair. But he came across as confident in his faded jeans and buttoned down white shirt. That is why Dave was grilling him; he was too casual for Dave’s standards.

Sam looked at Dave and nodded, “Dave, please.” There was a plea in her voice.

Dave gave her a wink and walked to his other friends.

Kim raised an eyebrow at Sam and asked “Who is he?”

“He came to the mall to talk about exhibiting some art pieces. He is new to this place, so I invited him over. I was just being polite,” Sam justified. “Please tell Dave not to go all big brotherly on me again. It’s embarrassing, especially in front of strangers, and strangers whom I am not interested in.”

Then she hastily went away to join Jake and her other friends.

Just then, the music was turned off and the growling crowd was silenced by the clinking of a spoon to a glass. The two hired helps swept in and went around offering everyone a glass of champagne and Dave voice was heard loud and clear over the murmur.

“Now that I have everyone’s attention, I would Kim, the host of this lovely party, to come join me here.”

Kim was a little surprised and a lot embarrassed with whatever it was that Dave was planning to do. Dave knew she did not like to be put on the spot this way, then why was he doing this?

Kim could feel her face flush as she walked across the room and stood beside Dave with a big question-mark on her face. Judith stood close on the other side of Dave with Sam; both with broad smiles on their faces. Kim looked at them and then back at Dave, who was now on one knee with a beautiful blue box with Tiffany embossed in silver on it held out in front of him. “I know you like it simple and this is as simple as I could make this.” He slowly opened the box and said, “Will you marry me?”

The room went quiet and every eye was on Kim. But instant of the expected reaction of squeals, tears of joy, and nervous laughter, Kim went pale as if the blood had drained from her body.
What was Dave doing? Why was he doing this?
Kim struggled to clear her mind and the reality of the moment finally dawned at her. Dave was asking her to marry him.
Marry
him?
All of a sudden, the room seemed too crowded and she felt claustrophobic. It finally hit her that she didn’t love Dave, didn’t love him enough to marry him. At least not just yet and maybe never. She finally gathered enough courage to look up from the ring and into Dave’s eyes as hers blurred with tears and Dave knew
it was over
. And leaving him there in the middle of the room down on one knee and a ring holding an ocean of promises that Kim knew Dave would have kept, she just walked out, locking the door behind her.

CHAPTER 11

“Kim?”

Kim turned to look. She had been in her seat shading her eyes from the sun. The person whom the voice belonged to was unknown to her.

“Yes?” she replied.

“Kim, right?”

“Yes, that’s me. And you are?”

“Jake… Jake Benson.”

“Okay, Jake Benson. Nice meeting you,” said Kim and turned back to face the sea.

“So you have no clue who I am?” said Jake, placing his hands in his pocket.

This annoyed Kim. She clearly didn’t recognize this person who seemed determined not to move. She got up, dusting the sand off herself, picked up her shoes and bags, and looked at him, and then a faint flicker of recognition crossed her face.

Jake saw that, and a mild pang of worry grew within him. Perhaps he realized that jogging Kim’s memory would be like opening a can of worms, but now it was too late. “I am a friend of Sam’s,” he said hastily, “really, just an acquaintance. You might recall I was at your place a few months ago for a dinner party.”

The last few words were softly-spoken, almost mumbled.

“Jake, the art gallery guy?” said Kim, finally recognizing who he was. She hadn’t been able to put a face on the guy, but she remembered the conversation now. She could not remember a lot of that night anyway, but the part that she really wanted to forget had been haunting her since the past three months. Every second of that ill-fated proposal was as fresh as it had happened just minutes ago.

Kim put her oversized shaded on and hunted in her bag for her car keys. “Nice to meet you, Jake,” she said. It was a second attempt of ending the conversation, but she failed again.

“Sam has been helping me set up my exhibition,” continued Jake.

“Well, I am sure she is doing a fab job for you,” said Kim, walking towards her car. But Jake began matching his steps with her.
Why is he not getting it that I want to be alone?
— Kim thought.

“What are you doing tonight?” he asked, with a smile plastered on his face.

Now, Kim stopped. She looked at him straight in the eyes and said, “Listen, Jake, I don’t know if I can put this without being rude. But, I really don’t know you well enough to have a conversation with you. So, if you don’t mind…”

“I know, and that’s why it will be perfect,” said Jake. The smile still hadn’t vanished from his face. “A few friends and artists are meeting at the Jetty Lounge tonight. Just for drinks, you know. No one really knows anyone who will be coming, so it will be perfect. We are all headed there, but you could come around eightish.”

“And, why am I invited?”

“Just like that,” said Jake as he began to walk away. “You do look like someone who could use a drink or two in the company of strangers.”

“What!” exclaimed Kim.

But that outburst was lost on Jake, who was already jogging to catch up with a group of guys who seemed to have been waiting for him, definitely the other revelers of this party that was going to happen. But, Kim was beside herself in her angry thoughts.
How arrogant and presumptuous of the guy to think I’ll just come! What does he think?

But, that chain of thought soon changed.  The moment she was in the car, and she closed the door, she realized how lonely she was. Maybe it was the claustrophobic environment of the car, but it reminded her that it had been months since she had been in the company of anyone. Even her closest friends had not seen her for weeks. Her mother and sister had resigned themselves to the fact that Kim would come out of the solitude in her own time. Forcing her to do so would be a retrogression.

Though Jake’s invite had been abrupt, there was a challenge in it. Kim was reminded of her slightly younger self, where she had taken up a job as a cabin crewmember just because of the adventure involved in it. Somehow, the invite had appealed to that younger self of hers, and, unknown to herself, she smiled. It seemed like a nice idea to hang out with a bunch of people who didn’t know what a horrible person she was. When those thoughts began to enter her mind, she made her decision.

That evening — the evening when that ill-fated proposal had been made — had turned into a nightmare instead of a celebration. However, the nightmare had been the most acute for Kim and, try as she might, she couldn’t wake up from it. She had spent days after days, nights after nights, in half-sleep and in some kind of unconscious limbo with thoughts oscillating between her feelings for Dave and why she walked out on him. She had asked a million questions to herself, but hadn’t found an answer that was acceptable enough. She had spent hours staring at her phone, wanting to call Dave and to explain the whole thing. What would she say? —
I am not ready to marry you as yet? I didn’t mean to humiliate you, but I did? —
what was it that she could really say to him?

And these questions would be followed by a sharp ache. She knew that the only person who could have helped her to understand this situation was Dave. He would have understood her perfectly without her having to say anything. Perhaps he understood her even how, and that was why he never called. Perhaps he understood it all without her having to say anything to him.

It was over. But the bigger problem was that Kim didn’t know why she couldn’t come to terms with her decision.

The morning after the party had been dull and quiet. Kim had walked out of her room to find Judith and Sam already up and sitting with their coffee mugs. She grabbed her own coffee and sat at her usual spot by the window. Judith had been so enraged that Sam had to keep pleading with her not to say anything to Kim until she herself wanted to talk. But Judith had had it with Kim’s ways of doing things as she pleased. Richard had stopped her before, but that day, there was no Richard.

Judith wanted to give Kim a piece of her mind. She looked at Sam, who merely nodded to indicate her despair, walked up to Kim, and stood next to her for a moment.

Finally, Kim looked up at her mother. Her eyes were red and her face was slightly swollen. She had been holding her tears back, but now they gushed down her cheeks in a flood. Judith had not seen Kim in that state ever. Kim had always been her strong girl, but that day, she was so helpless, a broken mess.

In the weeks that followed, Kim just retracted into a shell. She refused to meet or talk with Beth or Cheryl. She stopped going out. She became so reserved and formal even at home that it became a matter of concern.

***

“Ma, is everything okay?” Sam asked. She had just entered the home and placed her keys on the counter by the entrance, and had found Judith pacing the room frantically.

“Kim is not at home,” said Judith, worried. “Her phone is in her room. She hasn’t been at home all day, Sam.”

“Have you called Dave or Bill, Cheryl, Beth, anyone?” Sam began to rummage in her bag for her phone.

“All of them, but not Dave, but I asked Bill to check if at all she was with him. He told me Dave has been in office all day and Kim hasn’t come by.”

The moment Sam got her phone, it started to ring. It was her friend, Sharon. She took the call and spoke quickly, “Hi Sharon… cannot come tonight. Sorry, but I’ll have to cancel on you guys. Kim hasn’t been at home all day and we have no idea where she is.”

“Aha, bad timing,” Sharon said at the other end. Then she added after a moment, “Heard Jake bumped into her this evening. I’ll check with him and let you know.”

“Ah, great!” Sam said as the line got disconnected. She told her mother, “Ma, Jake saw her today. Maybe he knows where she might have gone.”

And just then, they heard the jingling of keys. The door swung open and Kim walked right in, closing the door behind her.

“You people are home early,” she said in a low uninterested voice.

“Kim!” Judith greeted her with an angry yell as she walked towards her. “Don’t you dare pull off this kind of a stunt ever again! Do you have any idea what I’ve been through? I called everyone who even remotely knows you. Probably they are all still looking for you somewhere.”

Kim just stared at her mother, speechless for a moment. A spate of fury arose within her.
What was mom thinking? —
she thought.
After everything, she goes and makes another spectacle of me? Everyone will now look at me liked I am a deranged nutcase that needs to be looked after.

She wanted to yell at her mother too, but she was just not in the mood to get into an argument. She reminded herself that living with a parent meant letting them know your whereabouts at all times no matter how old you got.

Sam understood the tension and cut in, “Where were you all day, anyway?”

“Just went to the museum and then was at the deli and then at the Marina,” Kim said. She went and sat on the sofa. “By the way, I bumped into Jake. Don’t know is he your friend or your business acquaintance?” Kim tried to behave as though everything was all right. However, her mom, who was still steaming, huffed away into her room and closed the door to make sure she didn’t say anything to make matters worse.

Sam got into the kitchen and began heating some milk. “Want some hot chocolate? Making some for myself,” she said. Then she realized Kim was still awaiting a reply. So she added, “Jake… he is the guy I introduced to you people… that night…” The mere mention of
the night
was painful for Kim, whose expression began to rapidly change, so Sam went on, “I met him through Sharon. He is new to this town. Setting up his gallery, and I am helping him with that. It’s just an exhibition at the Mall to advertise his upcoming art exhibition, and the big launch of the gallery. Beyond that, I don’t know much about him. But, he is cute, isn’t he?” She ended with a wink.

“He invited me to a party tonight,” said Kim, taking her mug of hot chocolate.

“Interesting!” said Sam in a singsong voice. “So, are you going?”

“I might. Though I won’t know anyone there.”
And that is the only reason why I am considering going.

“Let me know if you are planning to drink. I will come pick you up if you want.”

“Why? Don’t you have any plans for tonight?”

“I have, but I am not planning to drink. So, you can call me once you are done and want to be picked up.”

“Sam…”

“Yeah?”

“In all this that happened, I haven’t thanked you or mom. So, thanks.”

Sam looked up from the hot chocolate she was blowing at. She said, “We may not understand your reasons, Kim, but nobody hates you. I hope you know that. And, when you are ready to talk, if you want to, we are going to be there.”