Plain Proposal (24 page)

“I don’t know, Miriam. I mean—”

“Of course you can go,
mei dochder
. You go and have a
gut
time.” Aaron stroked his beard, and Rebecca could have punched him.

Saul walked forward and nodded to Rebecca, then extended his hand to Aaron. “
Danki
, sir. I’ll have her home well before the supper hour.”

A smiled tipped the corner of Aaron’s mouth as he glanced at Rebecca, then back at Saul. “That sounds mighty fine, Saul.”

“
Danki, Daed.
I just have to go put the horse in the barn.” Miriam turned to go back to the buggy.

“You
kinner
run along. I’ll take care of that.” Aaron waved his arm for them to go.

“Danki,”
Saul said as he and Miriam made their way to Saul’s buggy.

Aaron waited until they had turned the corner before he attempted to scoop Rebecca back into his arms. Kicking, she fell out of his arms, almost all the way to the ground. “What are you doing?” she demanded.

“Taking up where we left off.” He winked. “Nap time, remember?”

“I am no longer tired!”

She marched into the house and slammed the door.

“Did you see the look on your
mamm’s
face?” Saul said as he got his horse into a steady trot. He shook his head. “I don’t think she cares for you spending time with me.”

Miriam was quite sure her mother didn’t approve of her seeing Saul. “
Mamm’s
heard the rumors that you might be leaving the community.”

Saul turned at the next gravel side road.

“This isn’t the way to the creek.”

“I know.” He pulled the buggy to the side of the road, no houses visible, only a few cows grazing to their left. “We can talk here.”

Miriam’s heart started to pound. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what he had to say. He twisted in his seat to face her, drew in a deep breath, and then let it out slowly.

“Like I told you, I got this job offer, and I wasn’t going to get baptized this fall. I’d made up my mind about that, but I started to change my mind because—because of Ruben and James. I wasn’t sure if I should leave them.”

Miriam could feel her face turning pinker by the moment. “Saul, we really don’t need to talk about this. I understand.”

“No. I don’t think you do.” He reached for her hand, and visions of him kissing her flashed through her mind. He intertwined their fingers, locking his eyes with hers. “I think I’ve always been
in lieb
with you, Miriam. . . since we were young
kinner
. That may sound crazy, but it’s true.”

Doesn’t sound crazy to me
. She held her breath as her heart danced.

“But, Miriam, every man in this community wants to be with you, and I never once considered that you might feel the way I always have.”

Miriam held up one finger. “That’s not true, Saul. We’ve watched each other and flirted for years. You had to have known I felt something too.”

“
Ya, ya
. I thought you liked me well enough, but I never felt like I was
gut
enough for you, Miriam. And I can’t give you what you want—a life here. I feel pulled to go do something else, and I want this job and the freedom to explore the world outside of our community. But since you told me you’d go with me, I can’t stop picturing us together now.” He pulled his eyes from her and sighed. “And I can’t let you leave here.”

Miriam was still reeling over the fact that he’d said he’d loved her for a long time. But now that the reality was set before her, it frightened her. She didn’t know anything about the world outside of their district. In her fantasies, this was the time when she would tell him how much she loved him and vow to follow him anywhere. Instead, she sat speechless.

“Anyway, I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t care about you, or think about you going with me, because it’s keeping me up at night now.” Saul looked up and stared deeply into her eyes. “I love you, Miriam. I always have.”

Miriam bit her lip as she blinked back tears. No matter their future, she couldn’t let him not know how she felt too. “I love you too, Saul.”

He let go of her hand, then pulled her into his arms. “It would be so unfair to ask you to come with me,” he whispered.

Miriam felt like she couldn’t breathe.
Why does he keep saying that?
Was he waiting for her to offer to go with him again? Being with Saul was all she’d dreamed about, but visions of her family kept popping into her mind. Could she really leave them and become part of a world that was foreign to her? Or could she stay here around all that was familiar—and not have Saul?

He eased away from her, cupped her cheek, then kissed her in a way that solidified her decision.

“I want to go with you, Saul. I’ll go anywhere with you.”

He smiled. “I can’t
ask
you to do that, but I won’t insist you stay. Are you sure? Is it really what you want, Miriam, to be with me as much as I want to be with you?”

Miriam felt herself trembling, unsure how much of it was from his kiss, the feel of his arms around her, or the fear of speaking the words she’d always dreamed about. She tried to calm her beating heart and prayed she was doing the right thing.

“
Ya
. I want to go with you.”

12

M
IRIAM SAT AT THE CREEK’S EDGE WITH
L
EAH AND
Hannah and watched as Saul edged onto the diving rock and prepared to jump. She heard Saul’s friends cheering him to jump, and his eyes met with hers right before he hit the water, like they’d done so many times before. But after their talk on the way to the creek, she knew things were different now. She felt a wave of excitement and confusion rush through her as she watched his head pop out of the water, searching until he found her.

“How are you doing, Miriam?” Leah asked. “We haven’t seen you since your
onkel’s
funeral.”

“I’m fine.” She hung her head for a moment but quickly looked back up.

“I like your cousin Shelby. I was sorry to meet her at such a sad time,” Hannah said. “She seems sweet, though.”

“She is,” Miriam said, then for reasons she couldn’t explain, she envisioned Shelby and Jesse alone together fishing at the Zook farm.
Am I doing the right thing by leaving with Saul?
It was all she’d ever wanted, to be with Saul. What would she do in the outside world? Would she work at a job outside the home? How often would she see her family? Would they join a church in the city?

Why haven’t I thought of these things before?

“So tell us, Miriam. . . Last time we were here, you went to go talk to Saul. How did that go?” Leah nudged Hannah. “It must have gone
gut
, since he brought you here today.”

Miriam smiled as she thought about the way Saul kissed her, and momentarily her worries drifted to the back of her mind where she hoped they would stay. “
Ya
, we’re dating.”

Hannah pressed her lips firmly together for a moment. “Be careful, Miriam. I don’t think Saul is the settling-down type, and I still keep hearing that he might not be baptized in the fall. Some say he won’t stay here.”

“He’s the settling-down type,” Miriam said smugly.

Leah leaned across Hannah again. “I don’t know.” She giggled. “But he sure is handsome, and I sure do like watching him jump.” Miriam knew jealousy was a sin, but it reared its ugly head just the same. “He asked me to leave here with him.”

“Who?” Hannah asked.

“Saul.”

Hannah’s mouth fell open, then she exchanged looks with Leah. When she turned back to Miriam, her forehead was creased with concern. “Of course you told him no, right?”

Miriam drew in a calming breath as she sat up taller. “I’m going with him. He has a job offer at a restaurant in Pittsburgh.”

Leah was now practically in Hannah’s lap as she leaned inward to hear Miriam.

“How did he propose? Tell us the details.” Hannah nudged Leah out of her lap. “This happened so fast. I can’t believe you’ll be leaving here. What did your parents say?”

As the questions slammed into Miriam faster and harder, she tried to gather her thoughts. And the first realization that hit her was—
He asked me to go with him, but he didn’t ask me to marry him. What does that mean?

Then she pondered some more. No, he didn’t
ask
her to go with him. She volunteered. “I haven’t told
Mamm
and
Daed
yet.”

Hannah brought her hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp, and Leah’s eyes got round as saucers.

“I’m going to tell them soon.”

“Will you be married here before you go?”

“I—I don’t know.” Miriam stood up. “I have to go.” She didn’t look back as she hurried toward Saul’s buggy, even though she heard Hannah call her name. Choking back tears, she squatted next to the buggy, out of view of everyone. She was breathing much too hard, and her hands were trembling.

“Miriam?” Saul squatted down beside her in the grass a few moments later. She didn’t hear him walk up, and she felt ridiculous. He put his hand on her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

She forced herself to stand up. “I’m sorry to cut your time short with your friends, but I’m not feeling well.”

“No problem.” He helped her into the buggy, then went around to the other side. Within a few minutes he had them back on the road toward home. “Maybe you got too hot. Do you want me to stop at that little store when we get into town and get you something cold to drink?”

She shook her head. “No, I’ll be okay.”

They rode quietly for a while, and Miriam knew she wouldn’t sleep tonight unless she asked Saul a few questions. “Do you think I’ll have a job in Pittsburgh?”

“Do you want to work?”

She shrugged. “Maybe.” They were quiet again, then she asked, “How often do you think we will see our families?”

“Pittsburgh isn’t that far.” He paused. “You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you?” Saul slowed the buggy to cross Lincoln Highway, then picked up speed when they turned onto Black Horse Road.

“Saul, I—I. . . Can you stop the buggy?”

Instantly Saul pulled back on the reins, then pulled off on the first gravel road he could. He turned to face her. “You haven’t really thought this through, have you?” He searched her eyes. “I love you, Miriam. And I can picture our life together. But I would never, ever push you into leaving here. You have to be sure, Miriam.”

“When would we go?”

“The end of August.”

“That’s only a month away.” She heard the alarm in her voice. Saul reached up and touched her cheek.

“Sweet Miriam.” He blinked a few times. “I think this is happening too fast for you.” He pulled her into his arms and cupped the nape of her neck, and she rested her head against his chest. His heart was beating fast, and she wondered if he was having second thoughts. “I want you to be happy, whatever that is for you. I won’t deny that I want you to make this journey with me, but you have to be sure.” He lifted her face and kissed her gently on the lips. “I love you.”

“How do you know that, Saul? We’ve barely spent any time together.” It seemed odd to be asking him the question when she didn’t have any doubts about how she felt about him. Only fears about this life-changing situation.

Saul was quiet for a few moments, then said, “Maybe I should be asking you the same thing.” Before she could respond, he continued, “Do you remember the day at the creek when Lizzie Petersheim brought her sister, Annie?”