Playing Pretend (12 page)

“Simple. I want to grow Callahan Industries, and in order to do that I need to find the best people in their respective fields.”

“Is that really all there is to it?”

Caleb gave me a sidelong glance. “Why else would I do it?”

“Because you care,” I said honestly. “You want to give those people a chance to live their dreams, like you’re living yours.”

He shrugged, and turned his face to look out his window. “I always thought this was my dream, but then I had no choice in the matter. Now, I work hard so that Braelynn will always have a future.”

I had so many things I wanted to say, but none of them seemed fitting. The moment had grown heavy with far too much sentiment, and I suspected Caleb would rather not talk about this with me.

We didn’t speak again until he stopped outside a worn-down apartment block a few streets up from where I used to stay. It wasn’t in the best state of repair, but the landlord had assured me it was clean, safe and livable.

Caleb scowled at the brick building. “
This
is it?”

I turned a deaf ear to his disgusted tone, and removed the piece of paper with the landlord’s contact and apartment number scrawled on it. I knew Caleb would be more than partial to this place, but I couldn’t allow his dislike to sway me from taking it. It was within my price range, and it may be another two or three months before I could afford to buy all the furniture I’d need, but I wasn’t afraid to make it work.

Caleb walked behind me as I climbed the stairs to the fifth floor. An ill-aged man greeted us, his balding head dripping with perspiration from the heat, and his white shirt stained with sweat. He smelled worse than the staircase, and I felt the disapproval coming in waves from behind me.

Caleb was not pleased.

Tough shit because this was all I could afford.

And I’d already paid the first month’s rent.

The landlord eyed Caleb while opening the sixth door down the hall, and walked in ahead of us.

“Comes with a fridge, and a gas stove. Bathroom has a shower-bath combo, and for an extra fee you can get cable.”

He coughed, and then looked at me with a bored expression. It wasn’t the Waldorf, that’s for sure, but with a bit of cleaning – okay,
a lot
of cleaning – I could have it looking semi-decent in no time. I’d have to invest in a Hazchem suit to clean the bathroom, and probably check the walls for a rodent or mold infestation, but it wasn’t
that
bad. Oh, who was I kidding? The place was a dump, and could easily pass for a set on The Walking Dead.

“Kadence, can we talk outside for a moment?”

I turned, and found that Caleb was
still
scowling. “We can talk as soon as I get my keys.”

I reached out for them, but Caleb was faster. He pushed the landlord’s hand away, and turned his glower towards me.

“You’re not living here,” he said, his voice low, and menacing.

“You don’t get a say,” I told him. “Besides, I’ve already paid the first month’s rent.”

“We’ll get it back. Now, let’s go. Hell will freeze over before I allow you to live here.”

Caleb and I stared angrily at each other, neither of us relenting. He had no right to tell me where I could or could not live.

“Uh,” the landlord stuttered, “No refunds.”

“Keep it,” said Caleb, his eyes never breaking their contact with mine. “She won’t be staying here.”

He pivoted on his heel and stormed out, and all I could do was stare after him. Until it dawned on me that he’d not only cost me a place to live, but also a month’s rent.

I marched out of the apartment, and down the stairs, and followed Caleb back to his car. It may have looked a little more formidable had my heels not started sinking into the grass.

“What was that?” I snapped. I regained my standing once my shoes hit the road, and straightened to my full height.

Caleb whirled around, and pinned me to the side of the car. His solid frame encroached on my personal space, his height forcing me to look up into arctic blue eyes. Even in heels I was no match for his stature.

“That was me telling you I’m not going to leave you in this Godforsaken dump,” he growled. I cursed my body for warming at his closeness - stupid thing was faulty - but was still able to hang on to my indignation long enough to put up a fight.

“This
Godforsaken dump
is all I can afford. Unlike you, I don’t have millions at my disposal to buy a fucking ivory tower.”

With a tight jaw, and an almost murderous expression, Caleb leaned in so close that were I to lick my lips, I’d lick his too.

It was a tempting thought, but now was not the time to think about kissing the arrogant schmuck.

“You may not be the woman sleeping in my bed, sweet Kadence,” – my insides quivered
– “
But you’ll stay in my house until you can find something
decent
. If you think I was ever going to allow you to live in a shithole like this, you haven’t been paying very close attention. Do I look like a man who would let a woman he cares about live
here
?”

I pursed my lips, keeping my face as impassive as I could, but I felt the determination slip. He’d surprised me, may even have left me speechless. He
correctly
interpreted that as me agreeing with him, which I would
never
admit to his face, and when his perfect, pink lips danced their way into a victorious smirk, I was genuinely torn between kissing him, and slapping it right off his face. I wasn’t exactly opposed to both, in that order.

“Didn’t think so,” he grinned, making no move whatsoever to step back.

“What if I said no?” I asked, willing my sensible side to negotiate her way out of this. It would have been better to stay with Caleb until I could find another place, but I wasn’t sure I could stay with him much longer and
not
get attached.

That’s if I wasn’t already.

“You don’t get a choice.”

I huffed, aware that my breasts brushed against his chest with the movement. His pupils dilated, but only slightly, and I hated how
unaffected
he was by me, while I was on the verge of dry-humping his thigh.

“What if you get tired of me? Will you expect me to just pack up and leave when you say so?”

Caleb pursed his lips, his eyes remaining fixed on my face. “If it ever gets to that, we’ll talk about it, but I would never leave you high and dry.”

No, he definitely didn’t leave me
dry.

Jesus, Kadence.

“What?” he asked, his brows drawing in.

My eyes widened.

“What?” I repeated. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You said ‘Jesus, Kadence’.”

“Did I?”

“What were you thinking about?”

I looked down at Caleb’s mouth, and when my gaze shot back up, I knew the exact moment he’d caught me.

“I don’t think -” that’s as far as the words made it before Caleb crashed his mouth to mine. He pressed me into the metal of the car, the heat resonating down my back from the remnants of the late evening sun. He slipped his tongue between my lips, and if I moaned, it wasn’t consciously done. My nails dug into his biceps, and I tried to ground myself, convince myself we should stop before we got carried away, but my common sense kidnapped my logic, and skipped town for a long weekend.

Where did that leave me?

Up shit creek without a paddle.

I had no control over my reaction to that kiss, not when my tongue tentatively explored Caleb’s, and not when my nipples pebbled beneath the lace of my bra. If Caleb were to reach between my legs, he’d find my panties damp, and on the verge of self-combusting.

Like me.

I was also on the precipice of that fire, and the harder Caleb kissed me, the more he took, the bigger those flames grew and grew and grew.

I was mindless, so much so that when he pushed himself away without warning, it took me a few seconds to come to. I was panting, he was panting, and we both stared at each other like we had no idea who the other person was. But I knew exactly who he was, the same man I’d given my first kiss to on that rooftop years ago.

“I’m sorry,” he exhaled harshly, “I shouldn’t have done that.”

Just like I said.

Same man.

My lips pulsed beneath my fingertips, and I wanted to tell him it was okay, but it wasn’t. I felt his
want
, and yet he was still going to play it off like a mistake, a lapse in judgment.

Well, if that’s how he saw me, there was nothing I could do to change it.

I squeezed my eyes closed, took a deep breath, and walked around to the passenger side. I ignored Caleb when he called out to me, and when he asked me if I was okay in the car. I didn’t want to talk to him, especially when my own judgment was so deficient, and as soon as we arrived back at his penthouse, I disappeared into the guest bedroom, and lost myself in the giant claw foot tub.

I GAVE MYSELF an hour before I ventured out of the room. If I was going to continue living with Caleb, I had to stop hiding from him every time he did something idiotic. There was no reason to make it awkward when we could both be sensible adults, and forget that it ever happened.

I was intent on going to the kitchen, and then wanted to watch a movie in the theatre room, but when I heard Braelynn fussing in the nursery I wanted to check on her first. I pushed the nursery door open, and found a dressed down Caleb pacing the length of the hardwood floor, while Braelynn wailed in his arms. Her face was scrunched up, and red, and so very wet with tears.

“C’mon, Brae, daddy’s trying here sweetheart. I can’t feed you if you don’t stop crying.”

The frustration in his plea was unmissable, and even in the face of my agitation I felt sorry for him. He was out of his element, but not even I had the heart to shoot a man down for trying.

“Everything okay?” I asked, taking a timid step forward.

“It’s fine.” Caleb kept his gaze trained on Braelynn. “She’s just being a little fussy tonight.”

His body language was defensive, but that was his standard reaction when anyone came near Braelynn. I’d helped him with her a few times already, even just to give him a break while he looked for a new nanny, and until tonight he’d never given any indication that he was uncomfortable with me being around her.

There were one of two ways I could handle that revelation, and for my own sake more than his, I elected to take the high road, and pay no mind to why he was being standoffish. As far as I knew he had no reason to be.

“Here,” I reached out my arms, “Let me.”

“I’ve got it,” grumbled Caleb. He resumed his pacing, which only made Braelynn cry harder and louder.

“C’mon, Caleb, there’s nothing wrong with accepting some help.”

“I don’t need your help,” he stated matter-of-factly. I ought to have told him it wasn’t necessary to snap, but I simply raised my hands in compliance and backed away.

I went to the kitchen, made myself a snack, and something to drink, and quietly wandered in the direction of the theatre room. It was one of the larger rooms in the penthouse, with six lush double recliners, and fully equipped with its own soda fountain and popcorn machine. With the huge plasma screen, and surround sound system in the living room, I couldn’t quite grasp Caleb’s need for this place, but tonight I was glad he had it.

I flicked through Caleb’s extensive collection, bypassing all the action flicks, and selected a high school comedy, The D.U.F.F.

I had my finger poised above the
play
button when Caleb entered. He was still holding Braelynn, and the little Miss didn’t look at all pleased. Without saying a word, Caleb handed her over to me, and sat down beside me in the adjoining recliner. It was the strangest thing, the way we seemed to move so fluidly together, like we’d been doing it for years, and yet the silence was still so awkward.

Caleb handed me Braelynn’s bottle, and turned his attention to the screen. His body vibrated with quiet displeasure, but when he made no attempt to talk to me, I went about feeding Braelynn. Her blue eyes latched on to my green, and she stilled, staring up at me in wonder. I stared at her in much the same way, really, completely taken by her. I couldn’t explain why it was so easy for me, why my instincts with her came so naturally, but they did, and I knew exactly what I was doing without being told. I had an inextricable connection with this little person, and each time I held her, each time I felt her little hand wrap around my finger, something inside me tethered itself to her.

She suckled with fervor, her cries replaced with hungry little moans while she ate her fill, and all the while Caleb remained still and silent at my side.

When Braelynn was done, I gently burped her, and settled back into the recliner. I situated her on my chest, with her head facing Caleb, and started watching the movie when I felt Caleb staring at the side of my face.

“How did you do that?” he asked, his voice quiet.

I tilted my head so that I could see his expression, and to my surprise it was forlorn, like he’d somehow failed his daughter by passing her off to me.

“She was probably irritated because
you
were,” I replied, rubbing Braelynn’s back with genuine affection. She was sleeping on her tummy, lulled by the rhythmic beat of my pulse beneath her ear.