Playing Pretend (26 page)

“Just forget -” Caleb cut me off by placing his finger on my mouth.

“Do you want me to define what we are?” he asked.

I sagged against him. “No, I’d rather you didn’t. I don’t expect -”

“Well, I’m going to anyway.” Caleb relaxed, and put a sliver of distance between us. I stiffened in response, preparing myself for the part where Caleb told me what we had was
pretend
. “I haven’t had a girlfriend since middle school, and I know that I have a history of bedding numerous women,” – I so did
not
like where this was going – “But I think what we have here is a little past pretending. This thing between us, it not only affects us, but Braelynn too, and every choice I make has to be in her best interest as well as my own. It would never be my intention to hurt you, but I also can’t promise you anything right now.” I felt it, that first fissure in my chest. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to enjoy this, whatever it is, because what we have right now, is the realest thing I’ve felt in years.”

Our eyes remained locked, and I searched for some kind of truth. I was afraid I’d never find it.

“You’re not just a fuck to me, Kadence.” He said those words as if he knew I needed to hear them. “I care about you.”

“I care about you too,” I whispered, and God was it the truth. “And Braelynn.”

“Then why do I get the feeling you’re not completely convinced?”

Just be genuine,
I told myself. But wasn’t that what would get me hurt in the end? Maybe so, but I’d always worn my heart on my sleeve, and I didn’t know how else to be. I’d never changed who I was for a man, and I wasn’t about to start now.

“Because I’ve spent the last five years waiting for something bad to happen, and I’m usually never wrong.”

Caleb touched my lip. “There’s always a first time, and this might just be it.”

I WRUNG MY HANDS
together, and looked around at the warehouse. Servers walked around, dressed in their black attire, and finished setting up the tables. It was the same industrial warehouse we’d used for Caleb’s fashion show, and it was one of the few spaces in the city that worked with the concept I had in mind for the launch party. Old vinyl records hung from the ceiling, with low lights in between. White sectional sofas stood in the corners, with a combination of tall and regular tables covered in white linen. The stage was to the far left, in the center of the back wall and decked out in state-of-the-art music equipment. I just hoped tonight was a success, and that Caleb wouldn’t regret putting me in charge of such a monumental project. It was a big night for Callahan Industries, and for Caleb, but it was an even bigger night for me.

I finalized the program for the evening, making sure that everyone on my team knew exactly what was expected, and left to get ready. The elevator doors opened into the penthouse, and I was caught by surprise when I heard Caleb arguing with someone in the living room. It was a woman’s voice, her American accent laced with a Hispanic twang. When I rounded the corner, Caleb was scowling at the woman, his posture rigid and defensive. The woman stared him down, challenging him, and I was momentarily thrown by how beautiful she was. It took me a minute, but I recognized her. Natalia Rodriguez. Her dark hair was pulled up into a high ponytail on top of her head, and her make-up was flawless. She was wearing a black fitted dress that cut off mid-thigh, and mile high heels that brought her to eye level with Caleb. Something akin to dread and despair unfurled in my belly, making the remaining nerves seem inconsequential.

I held my breath.

“You can’t just show up after all this time and expect me to welcome you back into
our
lives with open arms!” yelled Caleb. His face was red, and his features were pulled tight in anger.

“You have no right to turn me away either!” Natalia’s voice was more of a screech, so loud and ear-piercing.

This time Caleb bellowed and his voice boomed through the penthouse. “The hell I don’t! You left, Natalia. You decided you weren’t ready for motherhood!”

My heart stopped beating.

And the other shoe dropped.

Caleb and Natalia were so busy screaming at each other they hardly noticed that Braelynn’s cries were coming from the nursery. I went to her, not caring that the sound of my heels on the floors made my presence known. With Braelynn in my arms, I also felt comforted, like I could avoid what was happening in the living room a little bit longer.

“You are not getting anywhere near my child,” said Caleb, his voice coming from the hallway.

“She’s mine too,” replied Natalia. “You can’t keep her from her mother.”

I squeezed my eyes closed, and held Braelynn closer to my chest, placing a kiss on her forehead. A silent promise that no matter what happened, she would always have a special place in my heart. I waited a beat, hearing silence on the other side of the door.

“Okay, kiddo,” I opened the door. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Caleb looked away from Natalia when I returned to the living room, and she scowled at me. I wanted to sympathize – it couldn’t be easy seeing another woman holding your child – but all I felt was a need to protect Braelynn. And contempt. For the woman who was too selfish to keep this sweet baby girl.

Caleb took a step closer, and I instinctively mirrored it in the opposite direction. I caught the shock in his eyes, and the disbelief that I would want to protect Braelynn from him of all people. I had no right, but from where I was standing, I was the only one looking out for Braelynn right then. I didn’t need a better reason than that.

“She’s fine,” I told him, careful not to raise my voice and startle the little Miss even more. I rubbed her back, soothing her until her crying had stopped.

“Kadence, this is -” started Caleb.

“I know who she is.”

Natalia made an unladylike sound. “Of course you do.” Her red lips curled in displeasure. Bitch. “You’re the whore Caleb is parading around with.”

“Natalia,” barked Caleb. “I am five minutes away from having you escorted out by security.”

“Why not have
her
escorted out? I’m the mother of your child, and she’s just -”

“I warned you, Natalia. Do
not
test me.”

Natalia looked ready to claw my eyes out, but then Braelynn let out a sound, and I saw her resolve shatter. It was slight, but her face went lax, and her eyes softened with curiosity. I held Braelynn a little tighter.

“It’s time to feed her,” I stated. “Henry will be here in an hour.”

Caleb’s nod was sharp, agitation rolling off him in waves. “I’ll feed her, and you can get ready.”

“I’ll do it.” My eyes darted between Caleb and Natalia. “I’ll leave you to continue your conversation. Alfie will be here at 8:30 to take us to the party.”

Before Caleb could say anything more, I grabbed a bottle for Braelynn, and decided to feed her in the nursery, away from all the tension, and resentment simmering between Caleb and Natalia. Instead of thinking about what happened now that Natalia was back, I placed all my attention on feeding Braelynn, making sure that she was calm, and unaffected. By the time that was done, and I’d gotten myself ready, Henry had arrived to take care of Braelynn for the night. I was back to feeling nervous, and that only intensified when I entered the living room and saw that Caleb and Natalia were talking outside on the terrace. The urge to go outside and tell him it was time to go was strong, but not stronger than my need to get away.

One thing at a time,
I told myself. The event was my immediate priority, and for the time being I needed to put Caleb and his deplorable ex-girlfriend out of my mind. Alfie was waiting for me in the Atrium, and when he asked me where Caleb was, I shrugged.

“He’ll meet me there.” I didn’t know if that was true, but I wasn’t waiting around to find out. Alfie frowned – I wasn’t sure he was capable of anything more than impassive indifference – and when he saw Caleb he looked displeased. He looked back at me, the pity on his face so blunt, and discernible that it made me feel sick.

“Let me take you,” he said, ushering me to the elevator. His deep baritone voice was the gentlest than I’d ever heard it. “Mr. Callahan can find his own damn ride.”

WE’D JUST STOPPED outside the warehouse when my phone rang. It was my mother, so I decided to steal an extra five minutes before I faced the press waiting outside.

“Hi Mom.”

“Hi sweetheart. How are you?”

“I’m great.” I swallowed, and pasted on a smile as if my mother could see me. “I just arrived at the party.”

“Oh, well in that case I won’t keep you long. I wanted to wish you luck for tonight.”

“Thank you,” I replied. I dropped my head against the back seat, and stared up at the roof of the car. Alfie had already climbed out, and I was glad for the privacy.

“Are you okay? You sound tired, sweetheart.”

She had no idea.

“I’m fine,” I lied. “Just a little nervous.”

“Why do I get the feeling you’re not being completely honest with me?”

My mother was a little too perceptive, and as much as I needed to talk to her, now wasn’t the time.

“I’m fine, Mom, really. I have to go, but I will call you tomorrow, okay?”

My mother paused, and I knew that she wasn’t pleased. She hated it when I kept things from her. “I think you should come here for a few days. We can catch up, and you can get away from the city.”

And away from Caleb,
I thought, mentally saying the words I knew my Mother wanted to. I’d called her several times after my date with Caleb, and she had no qualms at all about airing her concerns that I was going to get hurt, that I had possibly gotten in over my head. I was afraid she wasn’t wrong.

But I couldn’t think about that now.

I did however like the idea of seeing her again.

“I’ll book you a flight,” she added. “I think it will do you the world of good.”

“I agree,” I sighed. “I really have to go, Mom. I’ll speak to you in the morning.”

“Good luck, sweetheart. I love you.”

Alfie rapped his knuckles on the window, letting me know my time was up.

“I love you too, Mom.”

I slid my phone across the screen just as another call came in.
Caleb.
Without much thought, I silenced it, and let it go to voicemail. I tucked it into my purse, and opened the car door. Lights flashed, and I tried not to think about the first time Caleb and I stepped out as a ‘couple’. It was a night not much different to this one – clear skies lit up by city lights, warm air, beautiful, perfect – except I knew this time it
was
different. Everything had changed. I was alone, while Caleb was at his penthouse doing God knows what with his ex, and I hated how keenly I felt his absence at my side. I wanted to be brave, and courageous, and more importantly, I wanted to feel
in control
.

Alfie helped me out of the car. “Ready, Ms. Kavanagh?”

I nodded.
Show time, kiddo.

I stepped up to the press gauntlet with a smile on my face, standing tall and facing the cameras with as much confidence as I could. The paparazzi yelled their questions, asking where Caleb was, and if we were still happy. I kept quiet, and gave them a few pictures before having Alfie escort me inside. A few of the guests had already arrived, and the servers were all circling the room. So far, everything was going according to plan, which allowed me to relax just enough to focus. I saw Aaliyah, and Annabelle, and they waved me over. I greeted my colleagues while winding through the crowd, sure to engage with the guests as well.

“You look like a million bucks,” said Aaliyah. “And this place looks amazing.” She too was a vision on her royal blue chiffon V-neck, sleeveless gown, her black hair curled, and clipped to the side in a classic style that suited her to perfection.

“Thank you,” I replied. I had to admit, rubbing my hand down the smooth material of my red lace dress. It was backless, with a scalloped neckline and a Watteau train. Impeccable, and classy.

Caleb picked it out.

“Where’s Caleb?” asked Annabelle. I looked away for a moment, and when I looked back, both her and Aaliyah gave me expressions of worry, and confusion.

“We decided to come separately. He was having some trouble with Braelynn.”

And her mother.

I’d become a very good liar, and hiding things from my friends made me feel a little sick. There was no away around that though, not really. Aaliyah was too close to Caleb, and Annabelle was his employee. Our personal life didn’t need to be anymore interwoven with them that it already was. And I was also tired of everyone being in my damn business.

Aaliyah caught my discomfort, and being the good friend she was, she drew the attention away from me. “I’ve heard the band playing tonight is amazing.”

That did the trick. Annabelle, dressed in a vintage floor-length ivory gown, launched into her impression of the first band that was being signed by Caleb’s record label. FiftySeventhStreet was an indie band, who had an eclectic sound who had the potential to be the next big thing. That’s what I’d been told. They were making their debut tonight, right alongside Callahan Records, and if I knew Caleb, they were going to be as big as he predicted. I’d yet to meet them, and was on my way to doing just that when I saw Alfie approaching me. He’d never been far from me, but the look on his face told me it wasn’t good. I immediately thought about Caleb, worrying that something might have happened to him or Braelynn. I frowned when he handed me a manila envelope.