Prayers and Lies (18 page)

But I didn’t see. All I saw was my eleven-year-old cousin—her dark blond hair pulled back in a tight braid, her shorts too tight and far too short. Reana Mae, who suddenly seemed light-years older than me, was raving about her uncle—her own blood rela-tive—who was older even than Nancy. Too old even to be talking about. I sat dangling my feet in the river, feeling a headache coming on.

“Bethany!” Daddy’s voice pierced the heavy silence of the valley. “Time to come in now!”

I stood uncertainly. Reana Mae stood, too, and I made a grim assessment of her appearance. She wore short shorts and a midriff-baring top that had been Jolene’s once. She was tanned and taut and sleek like I’d never seen her before, and her figure was definitely filling out. I hadn’t seen Reana for more than a year, after all. Not since Jolene lost the baby. And in that time, Reana Mae had grown up in a way that I hadn’t. For all my junior high maturity, Reana Mae had left me in the dust. She was a small but complete woman-in-training, while I was still a child. And there was nothing to be done about that.

“You’ll stay and have supper with us, Reana Mae,” Mother said as we reached the cabin.

“Oh no, thanks, Aunt Helen. I got a stew on the stove at home. I better get on back before it burns.”

Mother and I stood on the porch, watching her run up the road, her long braid flapping behind her. Mother’s lips were set tight and her forehead furrowed. Her hand, resting on my shoulder, tightened slightly as Reana rounded the bend in the road and left our sight.

“You pray for her, Bethy, okay? You keep Reana Mae in your prayers.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I whispered. I already did that, of course. But I knew then I’d have to pray harder.

The next day, I waited until mid-morning for Reana to come. Nancy, Melinda, and Tracy had already left for the beach, and Daddy had driven into St. Albans with Aunt Belle to get groceries. Finally, Mother took my hand and pulled me toward the door, saying, “Come on. Let’s go see how they are.”

We walked up the road, stopping here and there to pull a handful of lilac blooms from the bushes.

“Mother?”

“Yes, Bethany?”

“Why do you suppose Reana Mae didn’t come this morning?”

“Well, she probably has chores to do.” She smiled down at me, brushing my bangs from my eyes. “But I know she’s glad you’re here.”

We stopped at the gate and stared for a moment at the little house. The curtains were drawn, green paint peeled from the walls, and torn blue plastic still flapped from the roof. Finally, Mother pulled me forward by the hand and we climbed the broken step to the porch and knocked. No reply came from within.

“Jolene?” Mother called. “Reana Mae? It’s Helen and Bethany.”

We knocked again, but no one answered. Even Bo seemed to be gone away. Finally, Mother said, “I’ll bet they’re at the store.”

So we walked on up the road toward the store. Mother hummed as we walked, her hand still holding mine.

We opened the screen door to the familiar smells of smoked ham and vinegar. Ray’s store always smelled of vinegar. I guess it was the pickles.

“Hello?” Mother called out.

“Well, hey there, Helen! How’re you, honey?” Ray appeared behind the counter, wiping his hands on a gray apron. “And Bethany Marie! Lord, child, I’da hardly knowed you. Look at how growed up you are.”

He hugged Mother and patted my hair. “You all have a good trip down? What can I get for you? Bethany, how ’bout a Snickers bar?”

“We had a fine trip, Ray, just fine. And I do need a few things. But mostly we’re looking for Jolene and Reana Mae. I thought they might be here.” Mother glanced around the store.

“Nope, Helen. Not today.” Ray handed me a candy bar. I glanced at Mother and she nodded, so I took it.

“I expect Reana Mae’s somewheres about with Caleb. He’s got the day off. Maybe they’re fishing out behind the house,” he suggested.

“What about Jolene?” Mother asked. “Any idea where she might be?”

Ray shook his head, frowning. “Ain’t no tellin’, Helen. Just no tellin’ where that fool girl is.” He glanced down at me the way grown-ups do when they don’t want you to hear something.

“Bethany, why don’t you go on out to the porch and eat your candy,” Mother suggested. “I’ll be done here soon, and we’ll walk to the beach.”

I sat as close to the screen door as I could without them seeing me and listened intently.

“It’s bad, Helen, real bad. Bobby Lee ain’t been home for months, and I hear tell he’s got an apartment in Charleston with some woman. And Jolene is takin’ it hard. Either lyin’ in bed stone-cold drunk or goin’ out God knows where drinkin’ whiskey with God knows who. She don’t talk to nobody ’round here—especially me and Loreen. Don’t cook, don’t clean, don’t take care of Reana Mae.” I heard him sigh. “Lord knows we tried. We been tryin’ all these years. But Jolene, she just don’t seem to care about no one but her own self.”

“What about Reana Mae?” Mother asked.

“Well, me and Loreen look out for her as best we can. She’s growin’ up fast, that one. Does all the cookin’ and cleanin’ that gets done down there. Course, there’s Caleb, too. He watches out for her. Between the two of ’em, they keep the house goin’. He works for me most days. Does a good job, too. Works hard. And Bobby Lee sends money now and then. He don’t come home hisself at all, but he does send money. I’ll give him that.

“Me and Loreen try to help out. But Jolene, she don’t want no help from us. Blames me for her troubles with Bobby Lee, you know. Won’t let us do nothin’ for her. Damned, bullheaded fool—just like her mama.”

“Well, we won’t give up on her just yet, Ray. We’ll keep praying and trying, and someday we’ll get through to her. She’s not a bad person, you know. She just had a hard start, that’s all.” Mother’s voice was firm.

“Well, I reckon we’ll see, Helen.” Ray sounded doubtful. “I reckon we’ll see…. Now, what can I get for you and yours today?”

Five minutes later, Mother and I were walking toward the beach, each carrying a bag from Ray’s store. By the river’s edge, we saw Nancy and Melinda lying on their towels, their portable radio blaring. Tracy sat on her towel, pen and paper in hand, composing another letter to Paul. Out in the water we could see two heads bobbing toward shore. As we got closer, I saw it was Harley Boy and Ruthann. I waved as they neared the shore, running down to meet them.

“Hey, Bethany!” Ruthann slogged onto the beach and gave me a wet hug. “You’re here!”

I grinned at her. At least someone was glad to see me. Harley Boy trudged up beside her, his eyes carefully avoiding Nancy and Melinda’s oiled-up bodies stretched out on the ground.

“Hey, Bethany, how’s it goin’?” he mumbled.

“Fine, Harley Boy.” I smiled at him. “Just fine.”

“It’s H.B.,” he mumbled again.

“What?”

“He likes to be called H.B. these days,” Ruthann explained. “Thinks it makes him sound older.” She laughed as his cheeks reddened.

I hadn’t seen Ruthann or Harley for nearly two years, but they looked about like I remembered them. Taller and older, but still like themselves. Still kids, like me.

“Did you bring your swimmin’ suit with you?” Ruthann asked, flicking me with water as she toweled her dark hair.

“It’s back at the house. But I’ll go get it.”

Mother smiled and told me to go ahead. She was going to sit a while with the girls. I took both grocery bags and ran down the road, my bare feet stumbling now and then against a rock or stick. My feet hadn’t toughened up like they did every summer. Coming around the last bend toward our cabin, I caught sight of Reana Mae disappearing into the woods at the end of the road. I ran faster, calling out to her, until she finally turned. She wore tight shorts again, this time with a tiny bathing suit top. She smiled as I arrived before her, panting heavily.

“Hey,” I said, smiling. “Where you been?”

“I had chores to do,” she answered, not meeting my eyes.

“You wanna go swimming? Ruthann and Harley, I mean H.B., are down at the beach.”

“H.B.,” she snorted. “Like that makes him a man.”

I simply stared at her, trying to catch my breath. I’d always thought she liked Harley Boy. I knew he liked her.

“Anyway,” I finally gasped. “You wanna come?”

“No.” She shook her head, glancing back toward the woods. “I’m gonna take a walk.”

“But you’ve already got your bathing suit on,” I began. She shook her head adamantly.

“Maybe later,” she said, edging away. “I’ll come later.”

“Where you going, Reana Mae?”

“Like I said, I’m gonna take a walk.”

“You want me to come with you?” I asked, knowing the answer would be no.

“Naw, that’s okay, Bethany. You go on down to the beach with the kids. I’ll come later.”

Looking up, she suddenly colored slightly, grabbed my hands with both of hers, and said earnestly, “I promise! I’ll be there in just a little while.”

Then she turned and ran toward the woods, disappearing almost immediately into the thick brush.

I stood in the road and watched her go. Where was she going in the woods? Why didn’t she want me to go with her? Where had the old Reana Mae gone? And who was this new girl-woman in her place? I shook my head as I pulled on my bathing suit. Well, at least Ruthann and Harley Boy seemed glad I was there. At least they still wanted me.

“What’s up with Reana Mae?” I asked cautiously, lying on the wooden raft that floated halfway out in the river.

Ruthann leaned up on one elbow to look down at me. “Caleb Colvin,” she spat. “That’s what’s up.” She grimaced at his name. “Ever since he came back, Reana Mae don’t do nothing with us anymore. It’s always Caleb. I reckon she’s purely in love with him.”

I laughed. “Oh, Ruthann, that’s just silly. She’s not in love with Caleb!”

Ruthann didn’t answer. She just shook her head knowingly.

“Oh, come on,” I pleaded. “He’s way older than her. Why, he must be eighteen, at least. Plus,” I added triumphantly, “he’s her uncle. How could she be in love with her own uncle?”

“Happens,” Ruthann said grimly. “Happens sometimes. Anyways, it’s God’s own truth, Bethany. Ever since he came back, Reana Mae don’t want nothin’ to do with me … or with H.B.” She glanced down at Harley floating on his back in the water. “Poor Harley Boy,” she continued in a whisper. “He’s plain crazy ’bout Reana Mae, always has been. And she won’t even look his way. Not since Caleb came around, leastwise.”

“She sure seems different,” I muttered.

“You got that right. She
is
different, and that’s the Lord’s own truth. She don’t like school no more—not even English class—and she don’t even go half the time. Hides out in the woods till the bus is gone.”

I stared in disbelief. “She skips school? What does Jolene do?”

Ruthann snorted. “Jolene? Well, she drinks liquor, that’s what she does. She drinks herself dead drunk.”

Ruthann sighed, shaking her head. “I guess it must be hard on Reana Mae, what with her mama bein’ that way and her daddy always gone. Still,” her voice sharpened as it rose, “she don’t need to be so hard on poor H.B. It surely ain’t his fault.”

Late in the afternoon, just as I was thinking of heading home, Reana Mae walked onto the beach, stripped off her shorts, and dove into the river, swimming cleanly out to the raft.

“Hey, ya’ll,” she said, not even out of breath as she pulled herself onto the raft.

“Hey, yourself.” I smiled at her. With her hair plastered to her head and her bony hips showing, she looked more like the Reana Mae I knew. More like a little girl. Then she arched her back to squeeze out her braid, and her small breasts stood erect, straining against the tiny bra of her bikini. On her other side I could see Harley Boy staring at them intently. I looked away.

“Where you been all day?” Ruthann asked, squinting at Reana Mae in the late afternoon sun.

“Helpin’ out at the store.”

She said it so smoothly, so easily, it sounded just like the truth. I stared at her, my mouth slightly open, and she returned my gaze steadily.

“Granpa needed some extra help today.”

I saw Ruthann shoot a glance at Harley Boy, and I knew they didn’t believe her.

“Ruthann says there’s a new drugstore open up by Crayville. You wanna walk up there tomorrow and see if they have any good comic books?” I asked, praying she’d say yes.

“Sure,” she said lightly, dropping her arm across her eyes as she lay back on the raft. “That’d be fun. They got real good makeup there. I need some new eye shadow.”

“You know your daddy wouldn’t let you wear that.” H.B. leaned over her. “You know he wouldn’t want you to.”

“Well, if he ever comes back home, he can tell me that hisself, Harley
Boy
. Meantime, why don’t you keep your big ole nose in your own goddamned business?”

The anger in her voice hit me like a shock wave. I could only stare at her.

H.B. looked at her miserably for a minute, his cheeks reddening. Then he rose abruptly and dove into the dark water, swimming furiously for the shore.

Ruthann eyed Reana Mae coldly. “Why do you have to treat him like that?”

“Why does he think he has to pry into other folks’ business?” Reana spat back.

Ruthann stood, too. “I’ll see you later, Bethany.”

She dove into the water and swam toward shore.

I sat quietly for a long minute before venturing, “I think he’s right, though, Reana. I think Bobby Lee wouldn’t like it if he saw you wearing eye shadow.”

She turned to squint at me, shading her eyes against the sun’s slanting rays. “I reckon you’re right. Probably he’d hate it. But he ain’t here, is he? He ain’t here to tell me nothin’. And Harley Boy.” She sighed, flopping back onto the raft. “Well, he just needs to stop pesterin’ me, that’s all. Always followin’ me around, tellin’ me I’m going to hell if I don’t straighten up. He’s got just like Ida Louise.”

“I think he just likes you.”

“Yeah, well, he better get over that, right quick. ’Cause I ain’t never gonna like him, not like that.” She laughed derisively.

We sat on the raft a while longer, neither of us speaking. I felt like I was in a foreign land, unsure of the landscape. Why was Reana so angry with Harley? Why had she been so mean? She of all people knew what it felt like to crave affection. This angry young woman was a stranger to me.