Protect Me (19 page)

“I know that. Before… that reaction was just that, a reaction. It was what my life was like before. Before you. I know you’d never hit me,” she whispers as the words get caught in her throat.
 

I slowly turn her around so that her back is to my front. I want her to feel my strength wrapped around her and know that I’m here for her, but know that it might be easier for her to talk if she isn’t staring at me. Because, like I told her, I’m not sure I can keep my emotions in check.
 

When Lia is snuggled tightly against me, she begins. “I met Garrett my senior year of college. He had already graduated and was working for his dad. We met at the bakery I was working at, and I remember thinking he was so handsome and put together. Completely unlike me. I was a mess, finishing school full time and working just about as many hours as humanly possible.
 

“When Garrett came back in the next day for another coffee, we seemed to hit it off. I couldn’t believe this great-looking guy with loads of money and a
political background was interested in me. We started seeing each other whenever we could fit it in between my school time and work hours. Within a few months, I was graduating college and ready to begin my adult life,” Lia tells me.
 

“Garrett came from money and was kept firmly in line under his father’s thumb. He lived in the Governor’s mansion full time, but had a house in Daytona.”
 

“Wait, Governor’s mansion?” I ask as my body tenses uncontrollably against hers.
 

“Yeah, Garrett is Garrett Monahan. Only son of Warren Monahan, Governor of Florida,” she states.
 

Fuck me. I suck in several deep breaths before I can get the words past the lump in my throat. “Go on,” I tell her.
 

“Everything was great for the first year. Garrett moved into the house in Daytona and proceeded to work for his father from that location. I moved in shortly after he did. Garrett strongly encouraged me to quit the job I had just gotten. He said it was because he wanted me available at any moment’s notice for fundraisers, parties, or dinner meetings. I didn’t really want to, but Garrett wouldn’t be deterred. I didn’t see anything other than the politician’s handsome son. I didn’t see the monster lurking underneath until it was too late.
 

“One night after I’d lived with him about a year, we were getting ready for a fundraising gala. We were
arguing over a broken platter that happened earlier in the day. I accidentally ran into Gretchen, the live-in cook, as she was carrying the platter towards the dining room to serve Garrett and the campaign team. It crashed to the floor, breaking into a million pieces and sending the food flying. I tried to help her clean it up, but she wouldn’t let me. Garrett came into the kitchen and glared at me. He never said a word in front of Gretchen or the men at the table, but I could tell by the look he was giving me that we’d be discussing it later.
 

“And discuss it, we did. I tried to argue that it was an accident, which just seemed to enrage him further. It was the first time,” she whispers. “It was the first time he hit me.”
 

I tighten my hold on her as she says the words. Knowing that some jackass somewhere has put his hands on her, repeatedly, makes me see red. An ugly, vile shade of red that makes me want to do inhuman things to anyone who crosses me. I struggle to keep myself in check as Lia continues.
 

“He grabbed me by the upper arms and shook me until I practically saw stars. The blow came to my chest. It felt like my lungs exploded. I couldn’t breathe; I couldn’t see straight. I fell to the ground in a heap of nothing.”
 

“How often did he hit you?” I ask, not really wanting to know the answer, but knowing that I needed to ask.
 

“Not often at first. And he never hit me or marked me where I couldn’t cover it up with clothes or makeup. Markings to my face were rare, surprisingly. He didn’t want anyone to know what he was doing to me.
 

“Afterwards, he always came back with an elaborate apology which usually included flowers, a romantic dinner, or a weekend away.”
 

“How long were you with him?” I mumble through clenched teeth.
 

“Four years,” she says.
 

“Four years?” A fresh wave of anger courses through my body and radiates off the walls as they close in on me. I want to slam my fist into the wall and follow it up with my fist to Garrett’s face. I want to maim. Annihilate. End him.
 

“Yeah. I always thought it would get better. I thought that he loved me. Well, he loved the control. I knew it deep down in my heart that our relationship wasn’t right. After several unsuccessful attempts to leave, which resulted in more abuse, I realized I needed a food proof plan. I planned it out the best I could for months, knowing that the opportunity would one day present itself.”
 

“When did it? When did that opportunity present itself?” I ask.
 

“Ten months ago. We were preparing for the Governor’s Ball, just days after Warren won his latest
bid for Governor in the November election. He came home after celebrating all afternoon with his team and I could smell the whiskey on him before he even came into the room. I was completely ready since we were five minutes away from when we needed to leave. Garrett stumbled into our bedroom and glared at me. I had no clue what I had done this time so I tried to busy myself by gathering up his tuxedo for him and taking it into the bathroom.
 

“When I came out of the room, he stalked towards me and grabbed me around the neck. My dress was long and had a full collar because I was hiding the marks he left the night before. He squeezed until I became dizzy and almost passed out. It was the first time I prayed for it to be over. I wanted him to squeeze the life out of me so I could finally be free.
 

“When he let go, I stumbled backwards only to get a backhand upside the cheek. God that hurt so bad. I stumbled on my expensive designer heels towards the door, trying to flee his raging hands. He stormed after me and grabbed me just when I reached the top of the stairs. I stumbled in my heels and made a grab for him, knowing that I was going to fall down the stairs. He actually stepped back. My eyes locked on his cold ones as I started to fall.” Lia sniffles as I reach a hand around and stroke her wet cheek.
 

“I woke up later in the hospital. I had cracked or broken ribs, I’m sure, but I knew that this was my big
chance. Garrett was required to make an appearance at the fundraiser so while he was gone, I slipped the dress back on and snuck out of the hospital.”
 

“Damn, baby,” I moan as I offer all of the comfort I have in my embrace. I don’t even attempt to hide the tears in my eyes or the ones that escape down my cheek.
 

“Sadly, that wasn’t my first trip down the stairs, but I imagine you’ve heard enough for tonight,” she says.
 

“Fuck, Lia. I don’t know what to say,” I whisper.
 

“I don’t need you to say anything, Nate. Just hold me,” she replies.
 

So, I do. I wrap my arms firmly around her body, throw my leg over her side, and hold her. “How many times did you go down the stairs?” I ask, knowing I’m not going to like the answer one bit. One time is too much, let alone multiple times.
 

“Actually only one other time. It was the night I told him I was pregnant,” she whispers and my entire body goes still. My heart literally fucking stops beating in my chest. My nostrils flare and some sort of primal growl erupts from my chest.
 

“Pregnant?” I finally manage to bite out after several quiet minutes.
 

“Yeah. It wasn’t planned, believe me. Garrett thought I was trying to trap him with the pregnancy. I had been sick for several weeks and was on all kinds of
strong antibiotics. Apparently, birth control pills aren’t as effective when you’re on certain antibiotics. I had just found out earlier in the day and told him that night. He didn’t take the news so well,” she mumbles, her words small and frail.
 

“And so he pushed you down the stairs?” I demand.
 

“Well, he’ll never admit to it, but yes. I was walking down just fine. He was behind me and says he saw me trip over my pant leg. I woke up in the hospital the next day with a severe concussion and no baby.”
 

“God, I’m so sorry, babe,” I say. Sorry just doesn’t seem like a strong enough word to express what I feel for the pain she’s endured.
 

“It’s okay,” she says. After a long pause, she continues, “You know, after it happened, I actually felt relieved. Not relieved that I lost the baby. No, that broke my heart on so many levels that I didn’t even know existed. I felt relieved that a small, helpless child wouldn’t have to grow up and face what I did every day. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to protect the baby.”
 

“You would have been the world’s best mother, Lia. Do you hear me? You would have done everything and anything to protect that child.”
 

“Don’t you see? I already failed.”
 

I flip her around so that she’s facing me. I stare deep into her eyes as I take in all of the hurt and pain she’s experienced. Her heart is cracked open and laying
before me. I want nothing more than to pick up all of the pieces and make it whole again.
 

God, do I love this woman.
 

“Listen to me, beautiful. What happened to your baby was a complete tragedy and entirely not your fault. You did not push yourself down those stairs. And as far as feeling relief over what happened, that is your way of protecting that child. Deep down, you knew that the baby would have suffered the same fate as you, day in and day out. You wanted that baby, just not the life that was in store for it. If you want to honor that lost baby, then you fight. You fight and get your life back. Live, Lia. That’s all I want for you now. I want you to live your life on your terms. I want you to be happy,” I say sternly just before my lips lock on hers.
 

The kiss has urgency in it. I’m a complete bastard right now for even kissing her after the emotional rollercoaster she’s just been on. Yet, there’s something inside of me that can’t stop. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with what she’s told me. Maybe together, we can get past the grief and the hurt. I need to be as close as humanly possible right now.
 

“Make love to me, Nate,” she whispers against my lips. The words wash over me, surrounding me in warmth. Love. I want to shout those three little words from the rooftop and declare my feelings for her. But, I know that now is not the time to profess my love to her. Now, I need to cherish her and show her that not all love
is painful.
 

I roll her over until she’s underneath me. Our hands are tugging at clothes, our fingers clawing at skin, and our mouths fusing together in that amazing erotic dance that is only for Lia and me.
 

I rip my t-shirt over my head as Lia dives to unbuckle my pants. Once my t-shirt is free, I make quick work at removing her soft blue cotton shirt and follow it up with tugging at her yoga pants. God bless yoga pants.
 

I strip us free of all remaining clothing and reach for the box of condoms that I tucked into the drawer of the nightstand sometime last week. I rip open the package, but Lia grabs it from my hand.
 

“Let me,” she whispers seductively. Fuck me.  
 

I hold as still as possible as she painstakingly slowly covers my throbbing erection with the protection. I’m on my knees in front of her as she takes her sweet ass time, eyes roaming up over my body. Her hands feel like silk as she runs them up and down my length.
 

I growl when she finishes and flip us both around so that I’m on my back and she’s straddling me. I want her to be in control. I want her to know that she is an equal in this relationship and nothing will ever change that.
 

Relationship. Fuck, yes, we’re in a relationship. There’s no way in hell I’m letting her go after everything she’s shared.
 

Lia positions me at her entrance and slowly starts
to lower herself onto me. Damn, this woman feel sso right. Our moans mix in the night as she slides down, completely taking me in to the hilt. We both stay right there, without moving, as we revel in the sensations of me being inside her.
 

“I have to move,” she moans as she slowly starts to slide back up my shaft. I gently grab her hips to help guide her in her pursuit for pleasure.
 

“Do what you need to do, beautiful,” I reply as she starts to lower herself on me again with more urgency this time.  
 

I gaze up at her dark, soulful eyes. The blue in them appears black in the glow of night with passion dominating their depths. Lia starts to pick up the pace as she rides me. I realize that I’m getting dangerously close to saying the words I haven’t said to another woman in about fourteen years. Words that I want to say to Lia. And I will…when we’re both ready.
 

I grip her hips tighter, careful not to appear too rough. That’s something I’ll have to mentally watch for from now on. Lia bounces and grinds against me, pulling me so dangerously close to the edge. I feel the familiar tingling at the base of my spine as my balls tighten. I flex my fingers against her soft skin as I grasp on to what’s left of my control. Just when I think I can’t hang on any longer, Lia starts to moan. Her insides tighten around me, and I’m done. Gone. The orgasm rips through my body as I uncontrollably shake and spasm.
Lia stops moving on top of me, but her insides don’t. Her body continues to grip me like a vise. It’s enough that I could almost come a second time from the sheer pleasure of her body surrounding mine.