Protected (Book 1 in the Ariya Adams trilogy) (19 page)

“Okay
, so, rumors of Ariya’s saving a staked vampire have started spreading. People out there are not pleased that another …
person
is around to do that. I came here to warn you all to just be careful. But also,” she took a step towards James and rested her hands on his chest. I was not going to be a fan of hers if this continued. “I wanted to make up for the past. If there is anything I can do to show I’ve grown up, I want to do it, James. I want to help. Ariya is related to me and I want to be there for her. Hopefully by helping you with whatever may come from this, I can show you how far I’ve come and maybe, maybe we can go back to how things were before.”

My eyebrows shot sky high in astonishment. Well
, they had clearly been an item at one time. That explained why her legs were all over him when I’d walked into my own house. Ew, James had dated my great, great grandmother? I didn’t even want to think about how messed up that was right now.

Caroline looked livid. I swear if smoke could come out of her ears
, it would be happening right now. At least Emma’s “charm” didn’t work on everyone. James wasn’t stepping back from Emma, which hurt a bit. I tried to remind myself I was supposed to be turning off my feelings for him. I really wanted to go back to my original plan of getting to spend the evening relaxing with Caroline and not having to think about everything. Emma and, most importantly, James, were not two people I wanted on my mind after that lovely display of affection.

Actually, come to think of it
, I was a big girl and I could do whatever I wanted. I didn’t have to care about Emma or James for that matter. I smiled to myself before clearing my throat.

“Well
, I’m beat. It has been a long day. I’ll see you guys in the morning. Emma, it was nice to meet you. I’m sure I’ll be getting to know you better soon.” James finally moved away from Emma.

“You too
, Ariya! I’m sure we'll be spending time together. I’m going to run down and get some stuff from my car.” I stopped walking towards my room at her comment. Turning around, I was about to ask what she meant, but Caroline had it covered.

“You can’t stay here, we don’t have the ro
om,” Caroline spoke up harshly.

I
looked over at her, trying not to let the smile welling in my eyes shine at her loyalty. It was a four-person apartment with only two people living here. We had plenty of room. She was just protecting me, like she always did. How could I go through this without her?

“Of course she isn’t
, Caroline,” James started. “She’s staying with me.”

My heart sank. There went the grin from my face. My feet halted for a moment
, but I forced myself to kept walking to my bedroom and not turn around again. I felt sick. I would not cry over this. I wouldn’t.

I started changing into my comfy clothes and heard the front door shut. Good, I wanted everyone gone. There was a knock a
t my door and Caroline came in.

“She’s gone. And the boys are getting ready to leave
, too. It’ll be just us tonight. Can we still do something? Just hang out?” I gave her a big hug.

“Thank you.” I smiled at her.

We crawled into my bed and Caroline started laughing. “What’s so funny?” I asked.

“Nick just punched James and called him an idiot.”

I frowned at her. “But, I didn’t hear anything.”

“Vampire.”
She said pointing at her ears.

We laughed and I got some enjoyment out of the idea that Nick
was putting James in his place.

“Wait, you
can hear things that clearly?”

“Oh yes. I’m lucky you are more reserved in your extra-curricular with guys or it would be
way too difficult living with you.”

I burst out laughing. “I’m glad someone benefits from my lack of action. If I ever do become a vampire
, remind me not to live with you, though.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I can hear you and Nick already with my puny human ears.”

She laughed so hard she looked like she was about to start crying. It was the first time I was able to truly make a joke about everything we were going through. If I was going to get through this supernatural adventure
, I was going to have to do this more often. Of all the people in the world I was stuck going through it with, I couldn’t have picked a better person than Caroline. She understood me and she looked out for me. I was glad for her. Speaking of looking out for me, I wanted to try to get some details about the matter at hand.

“So Emma is an old flame
, huh?”

“
Yes. I’m sorry, Ariya.” Caroline looked sad for me.

Her features hardened at the mention of Emma. It wasn’t secret that Caroline was not thril
led with the current situation.

“
It’s fine, he isn’t interested in me anyway. It was just hard to watch it playing out right in front of me. I don’t know why I let him get me so worked up.”

“Well, I don’t know what is wrong with him. I’ve heard of Emma before
, but this is the first time I’ve seen her in person. Nick has told me about her. Nick basically just told me about how obsessed she was with James. She is a super jealous person. Nick said she was always acting like a snob and could care less about helping anyone other than herself. She was one of the worst I’ve heard as far as the blood … I mean, she just wasn’t nice.”

“
I think James started seeing it once they got closer. She begged him to turn her into a vampire and he refused. After awhile of that back and forth, she got really angry. Scary even, apparently. She left without a word and just disappeared. Obviously, she found someone who did turn her, but I don’t know any more about her and James. I’m so sorry she’s here. She just has fake pouring off of her. I don’t know why James would let her stay with him. I don’t trust her at all, especially after she’s been gone and now mysteriously returns when things are happening here.”

“It’s fine. Maybe she has changed and wants to help me.” Although
, I was a bit lost on needing her. “Are we really still in that much danger from Devon? Is he stronger than you guys think or something? Why would someone come all this way to help us? We haven’t needed help since Halloween, in my opinion. Or, is there something I don’t know?”

“You’re not in danger. I think she just wanted an excuse to come back to James. He’ll remember what she was like and hopefully she’ll just leave. He
’d better remember, at least,” she warned.

I smiled again. Leave it to Caroline to make me feel better in such a crappy situation. Reminding myself I was lucky to have such an amazing friend in my life, I slipped into comfortable conversation with her before my eyelids were heavy w
ith the exhaustion from the day.

A pounding at the door woke me up the next morning.
What on earth?
I stretched out for a moment, trying to get ready to head to the door.

Caroline wasn’t in the room with me. She must have snuck Nick back in after I passed out. The sun wasn’t too bright through my window shades
, so it had to be early still. I shuffled out of bed and walked to the door. I didn’t know who could be knocking so early, but it had better be good.

I threw the door open without even checking the peephole
, not caring that I was in pajamas and my hair probably looked like a rat’s nest. James was standing there in the doorway. He looked distressed and his hair was much more tousled than usual. He was wearing sweatpants, which I think is the first time I’d ever seen that. I’d never seen him in something so casual. He was always so put together and well dressed. I was sure I had a look of shock on my face.

“Ariya.
Hello,” he said in an irritatingly straight-laced manner.

I turned away from the door and decided I definitely needed coffee if I was go
ing to deal with anything James-related. I waved my hand to come in without saying anything as I stifled a yawn. He followed behind me, closing the door.

“Why aren’t you answe
ring your phone?” he asked, almost accusingly.

My phone?
I thought. “It’s off. I turned it off before I went to bed last night. Why are you knocking? You never knock.”

“
I thought it was better to knock than just barge in.” I almost laughed out loud. He basically pounded at my door in while I was asleep, and that was better than barging in?

“James
, it’s really early and, to be honest, I’m still exhausted. Did something happen? Do you need me for anything?”

I had started the coffee and made a mental note to check my phone to see if he really
had called or was using it as an excuse for something.

“I need to talk to you. Do you want to take a walk? It’s nice out.”
He was being extremely short, speaking in staccato sentences.

“Sure, can I have my coffee first and maybe
wait for the sun to come up a bit more? I'm sure you’d like that, too.”

He nodded
, but didn’t laugh. I thought it was a funny joke, vampire, sun, apparently not. I was determined to show I was not hurting, so I was trying extra hard to be casually charming, which was difficult given the fact that I had been abruptly awakened by James’ knocking. I especially wanted to remain cool, calm, and collected after I had been graced with the presence of the beautiful ex. We’d just be friends now, James and I. Everything would be normal between us.

Taking a deep breath
, I took in the smell of the coffee. There was something about it that made me feel ready to face the day. It was magic in a cup. It would only be a couple minutes, so I asked if I could throw some clothes on. James nodded. I kept talking as I got dressed in my room, opting for work-out clothes for the walk. What was a safe conversation to start out with?

“Did you write our paper for Human I
ntimacy yet?” I asked as I headed back out into the living room where James stood.

“
Yes, I finished it the day it was assigned.” He was still being short, which seemed strange since he had shown up here saying he wanted to talk to me.

“Wanna write mine?” I smiled.

See, I could play it cool when I was trying really, really hard. He didn’t answer, so I muttered
alrighty then
under my breath. I caught myself after I’d said it, realizing he probably could hear that since Caroline had just told me they had super hearing.
Great, because we needed more awkwardness between us.

I walked back out into the kitchen and poured the little bit of coffee that had brewed
into a cup and chugged it back.

“I’ll wait and have more afte
r our walk. Ready?” I asked.

James got up from the couch without a word and headed to the door. I locked up and we started walking in the direction of the woods
and to the trails. After a minute or two more of this silence, I pushed him.

“
You said you needed to talk to me?”

“Ariya, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking about how yesterday must have made you feel.” He stopped for a minute
, like he was trying to think of the right thing to say.

He looked down at his
hands. I don’t think I had ever seen him at such a loss for words. Even when things had been strained between us, at least he looked confident. Right now, he looked miserable.

“I never want to hurt you and I hope you know that. I didn’t know Emma was still around at all. It was
never a big thing between us. It was a long time ago and things ended, and I don’t know what impression you got after what happened when you came home yesterday to find her here and what she said but…”

“James,” I held up my hand to stop him and kept walking to show that it didn’t
faze me. “It doesn’t matter. We aren’t together. You made it crystal clear we’d just be friends, so that’s what we are. If you want to rekindle things with Emma, that’s totally up to you. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine. I’m over whatever it was between us and I agree that it is better to be just friends.”

I was wonderfully surprised at my cool demeanor in all of this. My insides felt twisted in knots, but I thought that sounded pretty relaxed. In actuality, I wanted to die after meeting Emma
, knowing she and James had something.

He remained still for a second, looked at the ground, and then continued back up to
me. “I never said I wanted to just be friends.”

Oh
my gosh! Was he insane?
I wasn’t okay dealing with some melodramatic boy who couldn’t make up his mind. I stopped walking and turned to face him, since he had also stopped.

“Yes
, you did. You said you couldn’t be distracted, that you didn’t want to continue anything. You didn’t know why you kissed me. It was a mistake. Remember? We talked about this already. There is no reason for you to explain anything to me and there is absolutely no reason to rehash things we already talked about.”

“Ariya, I’m sorry. I’m trying to do the right thing here.”

“I appreciate it, I do. It’s very…” I couldn’t think of the right word, “c
hivalrous
for you to be concerned, but honestly there is nothing to worry about here.” I was trying extremely hard to keep myself from getting flustered, and if he would just drop it, this would all be fine.

“Ariya, I do worry and I do think that Emma showing up deserved
, no deserves, an explanation. Nothing is going to be going on with me and Emma.”

“
It’s none of my business anyway,” I said, starting to get frustrated that he wouldn’t just drop it. We had stopped walking, so I decided to start up again to try and put some space between us. Why wouldn’t he just stop talking about this?

“Ariya,” h
e started and jogged a few paces to catch up to me.

I could feel that emotional
rush start speeding towards me again and I knew I just wasn’t going to be able to handle any crazy revelations that James felt it necessary to make. 

“James
, if you want to do the right thing then what I need you to do is to stick to what you said before. You wanted us to be just friends. Just friends means you don’t have to worry about an ex showing up. It’s not like there is something for her to interfere with. And if you are worried, stop. I can’t get pulled back and forth. That’s not fair to me and it will end up hurting me more. I don’t know what you want me to say to your being here this morning. If your purpose in coming here was to explain things to me, you don’t need to. I’m fine.” My voice was raised and I was glad that we were far enough away from my building that we wouldn’t be waking anyone up with our argument.

“You think it has been easy for me?
To watch you suffering? To know you’re sitting right next to me and I have to pretend I don’t care every class? You think it’s easy to have to ignore you when we are out as a group and all I want to do is be near you? Ariya, I don’t
want
to be your friend. I
have
to be.”

I was not going to let him do this to me. I was set on the fact that he didn’t care. Now, he was opening up and I didn’t want to hear any
more. It was pissing me off. He was an arrogant jerk of a vampire and I wanted this whole mess to just go away.

“Please don’t tell me anymore.
I’m sure you just feel awkward that you had a thing with someone I’m related to. I get why you were into me now…”

He cut me off, his anger evident. “You’re nothing like her. I never felt for her what
I feel for you.” I kept walking. I didn’t want to look at him.

“Please, look at me.” James touched my arm and pulled me
to face him so quickly, my breath caught.

No, this is wrong. I can’t get sucked back in.

“I … I want to think that you don’t care. I don’t want to know any more.” I looked up at him stuttering from being so flustered by all of this.

His face was pained. He was struggling with this. For the first time, I could see it. He wasn’t happy
, but for some reason, something made him feel the need to make this decision to be apart. Part of me wanted to just shake him and tell him I didn’t care what he thought was important. Didn’t he think this could be something? But, I stopped myself. If this was the choice he was making, what could I do to stop it? We were at an impasse.

“
James, I think you should go.”

He stepped closer to me instead of turning away. I wanted my muscles to obey my brain that was telling them to storm off, telling them to get away from him. He was right in front of
me and touched my face gently.

“
I’ll go. I just need you to believe me that nothing is going on with Emma.”

He looked into my eyes steadily and I almost forgot everything he had sa
id about us not being together.

“Why?” My voice came out breathy and he ran his thumb along my jaw line
like he had the night of our kiss.

I shivered.
He wasn’t breaking eye contact, and all of the feelings I have for him sprang to the surface. Who was I kidding about letting go of this? It wasn’t possible. My body felt weak and his hands on my face were my undoing. I let myself step into him further and he didn’t back away.

“Ariya,” he whispered as he
brought his head down to mine.

I closed my eyes. What were we doing? He didn’t want to be with me
, but now here, like this, I didn’t want to stop him.

“Please,” I said back.
It was hard even for me to tell if I meant please stop or please don’t stop, but he took it to mean the latter.

He brought his lips to mine and fire burst from deep within me. What was he doing to me? How was it possible to have these feelings for someone? I parted my lips slightly and it was encouragement for him. He pressed his tongue into my mouth
, and I exploded all over again.

We were moving
, and suddenly and my back was up against a tree. We were off the path at this point. His hand tugged at my ponytail, breaking the band that had been holding it, and he buried his fingers into my hair. This was heaven.

James’ hand ran up my leg, jerking
it around him as he shifted his body underneath me. He held me there, pinned to the tree. I obeyed the movement of his hands and wrapped my legs around his waist, locking them behind his back. His whole body pressed in to mine as his mouth relentlessly ravished mine.

I had to pull back. I would drown in my feelings for him, especially if this wasn’t going to continue towards anything. I pulled my mouth away
. The break in our connection felt painful, but necessary. I couldn’t keep going in the direction this was headed right now.

“James,
” I said. He pulled back and looked at me.

“We shouldn’t do this,
” he said, finishing my own thought for me.

“
Yeah.” I nodded slightly. I could feel that my face was flushed and my body definitely was not going to say no to him if he continued. I hadn’t even bothered unwrapping my legs from around him.

He looked upset at himself for even allowing this much contact with me
. I knew if I didn’t pull back from him right away, I really wouldn’t let him stop. Thankfully, I didn’t have to make the decision. I heard a fake voice behind me, and actually felt relief.

“I’m
sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” My legs finally reacted, and jerked away from James. I slammed back down to the ground. I saw Emma standing flawlessly dressed with a phony innocent look plastered on her face.

“No,
” I shifted further away from James. “You aren’t interrupting at all. I was just headed back to the apartment.”