Rank (5 page)

Without responding, I put my jeans back on and buttoned my shirt.

“I’ve never, um, you know; I’ve never enjoyed it quite like that before. If you know what I mean,” she said.

“Really?” Shit. That was only going to make it worse when she clued in that it wasn’t meant to be anything more than one time in a truck.

“Do all the girls you’ve been with enjoy it like that — to that intensity?”

“As far as I know, unless they were faking.”

“Jesus, you can’t fake something like that.” She combed her fingers through her hair and checked her makeup in the mirror.

I smiled, feeling a little cocky, and put my hat back on.

“Call me.” She gave me a peck on the cheek.

I nodded, although I had no intention of ever seeing her again, and turned the engine on so I could roll down the window to get the windshield to clear up. She hopped out of the truck and ran across the parking lot to a room on the first floor. She fumbled through her purse for the key card, then opened the door. She waved before she went inside. I pressed the defogger button. As I waited for the windows to clear, a girl came out of a second floor room and ran along the veranda to the stairs. When she reached the sidewalk, I noticed that she had strawberry coloured hair.

“Shae-Lynn?” I shouted out the window.

Her head spun to see who had called her name. She was crying. I left the truck engine running and got out.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She wiped her palms across her face. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine. What happened?”

“Nothing. What are you doing here?”

“Dropping someone off.”

“Who? Tawnie?”

I frowned and looked up at the door on the second floor that she came out of. “Is this where Blake is staying?”

“I have to go. Lee-Anne’s going to be worried about me.”

“I’ll drive you.”

“No thanks.” She rushed across the parking lot headed towards the highway.

“Shae-Lynn, get in the truck. I’m not going to let you walk along a pitch black highway.”

She waved her arm over her head in a don’t-worry-about-me way and kept walking. I hopped in the truck and pulled out onto the highway. I drove slowly on the shoulder behind her with my head hanging out the window.

“Leave me alone, Billy.”

“I’m going to drive two kilometres an hour all the way back if you don’t get in the truck.”

She kept walking. A couple cars passed and honked.

“Uh, Shae-Lynn, I’m pretty sure it’s not all that safe for me to be driving like this.”

“Then go,” she snapped.

“I’m not leaving you here, so unless you want to witness me getting killed when a semi-truck rams up my ass, I suggest you get in the truck.”

She stopped and looked up at the sky. After an eighteen-wheeler honked at us, she shook her head in exasperation, then got in the passenger side.

“What happened?” I asked again as I shoulder checked and pulled out into the lane.

“None of your business.”

“Did Blake hurt you?”

She stared out the side window for a while before she mumbled, “No.”

“I’m going to beat the truth out of him if you don’t tell me.”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal. He wanted more from me than I felt like giving, so I left.”

“Didn’t he offer to drive you back?”

She didn’t answer.

“What an asshole. I’m going to beat his ass.”

“I didn’t give him a chance to offer to give me a ride. I just left.”

“I didn’t see him running after you.”

She shook her head, unimpressed. “What kind of guy expects a girl will sleep with him after one date? A girl doesn’t do that unless she is a complete slut. You know that, right?”

I glanced at her and gripped the steering wheel, wondering if she saw right through me and already knew what I’d done with Tawnie.

“Why would he even think I was like that?”

“He was just hoping you were. You did go back to his room with him.”

“So? He said we were going to watch a movie.” She glared at me and her lip curled. “You think it’s my fault.”

“No.”

“Is ‘let’s watch a movie’ code for ‘let’s have sex?’”

“No, not necessarily.”

“Do you hope that girls will be slutty enough to sleep with you after just one date?”

I winced, positive that she had already figured it out. What the hell. If she already knew I was a dirt bag, I might as well be honest with her. “If a girl is going to offer sex on the first date, I’m not going to turn it down. But I don’t expect it.”

“Do you ever end up liking the girls who give it away on the first date?”

I knew what the answer was, but I didn’t say anything. My non response obviously confirmed what she already suspected. She sat back and stared out the passenger side window. We drove for a while in silence before I said, “I’ll take care of him.”

“No.” She pointed at me in a threatening way. “I don’t want you talking to him about it.”

“I’m not going to
talk
to him about it.”

“I don’t want you fighting with him about it either.”

I turned into the arena grounds and drove over the grass field. Most of the participants had left, so there were only a few campers and trailers speckled around.

“I’m serious,” she said. “If you do anything, I will never speak to you again.”

“That’s too bad, but I guess that’s the way it’s going to have to be.”

She groaned and fought to hold back a scream. “Don’t be an asshole, Billy.”

“Making sure Blake knows that it’s not okay to treat you like that doesn’t make me an asshole.”

She stared at me, letting what I said sink in. Her expression fluctuated and I had trouble reading it before she said, “He didn’t do anything wrong. He was just too eager. I want to forget about it. Promise you won’t do anything.”

“What do you care what I do to him? You weren’t even into him in the first place.”

The crease deepened between her eyebrows. “What makes you say that?”

“I could tell.”

“How?”

“I just could. Turns out Cole might actually know as much about women as he claims to.”

She rolled her eyes to disagree. “You guys don’t know anything.”

“So, you did like Blake?”

“No, and I don’t want everyone knowing that I was stupid enough to go to the hotel room with him. It’s embarrassing and it makes me look bad. Please don’t make it into a big deal.” She started crying. “Promise?”

I didn’t like seeing her cry, so I nodded.

“Say it.”

Although Blake needed to be set straight, the hurt tone of her voice was killing me and I wanted to make her feel better, so I gave in. “I promise.”

Satisfied that I’d given her my word, she got out of the truck, swung the door shut, and ran over to the motorhome. There was a little red truck parked in front of our camper, which meant I had no place to sleep. I stretched out on the bench seat and spent the rest of the night thinking about Tawnie, Blake, and Shae-Lynn.

By the morning, the only thing I had figured out was how I was going to handle things with Blake, while still keeping my promise to Shae-Lynn. The door to the camper opened at about six and Cole kissed the curly haired girl goodbye. As she got into her little red truck, I walked over to the camper.

“Hey,” he said, still sounding half asleep. “Did you sleep in the truck?”

“I wouldn’t call it sleeping.” I stepped inside and undressed to take a shower. “You have to drive back to Saskatoon. I’m too tired.”

“I don’t want to go all the way home,” he whined. “Can’t we just go straight to Vancouver Island?”

“I’m not going with you. This was a one time deal.”

He frowned and sat at the dinette. “What happened with Tawnie?”

I leaned on the bathroom doorframe, not intending to answer. “How well do you know Blake?”

He shrugged. “Same as you do. Why?”

“He tried to take advantage of Shae-Lynn and left her to walk home by herself along the highway. I had to pick her up.”

“Is she all right?”

“I don’t know. She wouldn’t really talk about it.”

Cole shook his head and his fingers tightened into fists. I smiled because I knew my plan would work just fine. He glanced out the window in the direction of the Roberts’ motorhome, already plotting to defend her honour. There were a bunch of empty beer bottles on the table in front of him.

“You know you shouldn’t drink when you’re on that medication.”

“I didn’t,” he said as he cleared them off the table. “That chick was a lush.”

“She drank six beers all by herself?”

He smiled the kind of smile that made it hard to stay mad at him. I shook my head, tired of being his babysitter, then closed the bathroom door.

“Hey, you didn’t answer the question about Tawnie,” he shouted through the door.

I turned the water on so I couldn’t hear him.

Cole drove for the first four hours back to Saskatoon, then we stopped for lunch. He went to the restroom in the restaurant and while I was sitting at the table waiting for the waitress, my phone rang.

“Hey, Mom.”

“You didn’t call yesterday. I was worried.”

“Sorry. We’re fine. Cole didn’t win any prize money.”

“I heard you bought a horse.”

Shit. I had seriously forgotten about that. It hadn’t occurred to me that it was going to be hard to never see Tawnie again if she was taking care of my damn horse. I rubbed the stress in my neck, cursing the rodeo gossip grape vine that worked at the speed of light. “How’d you hear that?”

“Doreen Roberts called yesterday. She’d been talking to Lee-Anne, so I got the whole story. What are you going to do with a horse?”

“I don’t know. She’s fast though. I can probably resell her for a profit if she does well in the next couple competitions.”

“Why don’t you get Shae to ride her? She’s better than that other girl.”

It was a good idea, but she’d never go for it. “Shae-Lynn’s got Harley.”

“How are those little Roberts girls doing?”

“Well, they’re not so little anymore.”

“I hope you’re keeping an eye on them around all those rowdy cowboys now that their mom’s not with them. Their dad doesn’t even know they’re touring.”

“They’re fine.”

“How’s your brother?”

I looked up and saw him coming back from the restroom. “He’s right here. You can talk to him yourself. Love you.” I handed the phone to Cole as he sat down across from me at the table.

“Hey, Ma.” He took his hat off and scratched his head as he listened to her. “Tell them to reschedule it…Why can’t they do it earlier?…I don’t care if that’s the only time the psychiatrist is available. I’m already registered for Luxton… I’ve been fine in case you hadn’t noticed…Whatever.” He sat back and slouched down. “No… It’s a waste of time…” He rolled his eyes and sat back up to lean his elbows on the table. “Listen, Mom, I know you’re just trying to help, but I’m twenty-two years old. I don’t need my mom confirming doctor’s appointments for me — especially when I’m not sick.” He shook his head while he listened. She talked for a long time then he said, “Yeah. Bye.” He hung up and handed the phone back to me. “Why’d you do that? You know I hate talking to her about that kind of stuff. Now I’m upset.” He stood, put his hat on, and left the restaurant.

I ate by myself to give him time to cool off. Then I ordered him a clubhouse sandwich and took it back to the truck. He was sitting in the passenger seat with earphones in, so I climbed into the driver’s seat and headed towards the Saskatchewan border.

I worked my ass off once we were back in Saskatoon — on the ranch six days a week and bartending most evenings. On the Tuesday before Cole was supposed to leave for the Luxton rodeo, he showed up at the ranch as I was coming off shift. The owner’s fifteen-year-old son wanted to get on the circuit, so Cole and a couple other local riders were allowed to ride the rough stock whenever they wanted in exchange for giving the kid a few pointers.

“You want me to go with you to that hospital meeting tomorrow?” I asked.

He reached over the side of the truck bed to grab his bull rope. “Nope. I’m not going.”

“Why not? Just tell them you’re doing fine and be done with it.”

“Mind your business, Billy.”

“Mind your business, asshole.” I turned to walk to my truck.

“We’re practicing on Wide Load today.” His tone changed the way it always did when he wanted something from me. “You want to stay and coach?”

“No.”

“Come on, you’re the only one who has ever ridden him.”

“I’m retired.”

“If you get on a bull I’ll go to the meeting tomorrow.”

I shook my head, not interested in his manipulation, and kept walking. “I have to get to the bar.”

The Palomino was already busy when I got to work. The owner was helping the servers, so I picked up the slack. At about ten o’clock, a girl leaned her elbows onto the bar and squeezed her arms to accentuate her cleavage. It caught my attention. When I looked up at her face, I realized I knew her. Although she and Lee-Anne were best friends because they spent so much time on the road with each other, I’d technically known Rochelle for longer. We’d been in the same class every year since kindergarten. She never liked me all that much. “Hey, Rochelle. That is a very nice top you’re wearing.”

“Shut up.”

I smiled and slid her a vodka cooler on the house. “You’re always so mean to me. Remind me why that is.”

“Grade nine. We had to do a presentation on our hobbies. You did yours on bull riding. Dean Kline asked if you were ever scared. You said no, because whenever you got nervous about falling off you would imagine landing on two giant soft pillows like Rochelle’s.”

I chuckled as I remembered. “That was funny. Get over it.”

“It wasn’t funny, you jackass. It was humiliating.”

“Why? It was a compliment.”

“I was fourteen. Having boys only pay attention to me because of the size of my chest was embarrassing. It made me self-conscious.”

“For your information, the teacher gave me a zero on that presentation and,” I pointed at her impressive cleavage overflowing her low cut top, “You’re obviously not self-conscious anymore.”

“Shut up. I’m not here to discuss my emotional scars. I’m here because someone wanted me to deliver a message to you.”

I poured a mixed drink for the guy who was standing beside her. I took his money then turned to look at her. “Who’s that someone?”

She slid an envelope across the bar. It had my name written across it in curly writing. I handed two beers to a guy and took his money, then flipped the envelope over and opened it. Rochelle scrutinized my face as I read the note.

Billy, Here is your cut from my first win on Stella. She’s doing great. Thanks again for letting me ride her. I guess you’ve been too busy to call, but I just wanted to let you know that I can’t stop thinking about you, or our night in Coleman. I’d really love to see you again, Tawnie.

Rochelle was still watching me to see how I was going to react, so I tried to not show any expression. I put the note in my back pocket and served a few more customers. Her second drink was done before I was able to get back to her.

“Do you have a message you’d like me to pass on to her?” she asked.

“No. Thanks.”

Her eyebrows angled. “Why haven’t you called her? Were you just using her?”

“No offence, Rochelle, but it’s not really any of your business.”

“Well, it kind of is when she calls me crying every night upset because you haven’t called her.”

A guy was shouting an order at me, but I ignored him. “What’s she crying about?”

“She likes you, obviously. Girls don’t do what she did with you in a truck unless they really like a guy. You know that, right?”

I rolled my eyes, not surprised that even the women weren’t clear with what meant what, and I shook my head because obviously there was no such thing as privacy on the circuit. “I can’t believe she told you that.”

Rochelle made her eyebrows dance up and down. “Apparently you’re quite something.”

“Shit.” I turned around and pulled two cases of beer from the cupboard to restock the bar. When I turned back around, an older guy who was already pretty gunned was leaning with his arm over Rochelle’s shoulder and talking too close to her face.

I couldn’t hear what he was mumbling, but she said, “No thanks,” and pushed his arm away.

He went in for another sloppy hug and was trying to cop a feel, so I reached over the bar and shoved him. “Why don’t you go sit down, buddy?”

He stumbled back a little and frowned at me. “What’s your problem?”

“She said no. You need to go sit down.”

He stared me down for a few seconds, but must have realized he couldn’t take me. He flipped me the bird and staggered away.

Rochelle took a sip of her vodka cooler. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

She checked the time on her phone. “I need to get going.” She closed her purse. “Just so you know, Tawnie is really sweet and she’s coming off a bad break-up. I realize you’re not really the boyfriend type, but it would be good if you could at least be nice to her. I don’t want her to end up feeling like a worthless piece of shit.”

“I’ll call her.”

“Good man. I’ll see you around.” She stood and started to walk away.

“Hey, Rochelle.”

She paused and looked over her shoulder.

“I’m trying to be a better person, so I would like to apologize for hurting your feelings when we were in junior high.”

She turned to face me, tilted her head to the side, and closed one eye as if she was contemplating something. After a while, she said, “All right. I forgive you.”

“Thank you.” I winked. “But you do have to admit you have the nicest rack in town.”

She shook her head in disappointment. “Geez Billy. Why did you have to go and ruin a perfectly good truce?”

I shrugged in mock innocence. “It would feel weird if you didn’t treat me like I was an asshole.”

“Yeah, that would feel weird.” She chuckled, then left.

The bar closed at two and I didn’t get out of there until closer to two-thirty. I drove back to my mom’s house and sat in my truck looking at my phone. I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Finally, I took a deep breath and scrolled through my contacts to find Tawnie’s number. Before I had a chance to call her, my phone rang. The call display showed, Shae-Lynn’s name, so I answered. She was crying.

“What’s wrong?”

She had to inhale a couple times before she was able to speak through her crying, “My mom and dad were in an accident.”

“Are they all right?”

“My mom’s in the hospital with a concussion and a broken arm. My dad just has cuts and bruises. They’re fine, but the trailer rolled and they had to put two of the horses down.” She started sobbing heavier.

I didn’t know what to say, so I just sat there listening to her cry.

Eventually, she calmed down a little and sniffled. “I’m sorry to call you so late, but I really needed someone to talk to. You’re the only person I thought might still be awake. I’m sorry if you were sleeping.”

“I was awake. Where’s Lee-Anne?”

“She got on a plane to meet them down in Texas. I had to stay here to take care of the animals. It’s really quiet in the house when nobody else is here.”

“You mean scary?” I chuckled. “Do you want me to come over to keep you company?”

“Yeah, would you?” She sounded as if a smile had crossed her lips. “It’s only a seven-and-a-half hour drive.”

“Okay.”

She paused as if she was worried I would really do it. “I was joking.”

“I know. How about I just talk to you on the phone until you either feel better or fall asleep?”

“Really? You don’t mind?”

“Sleep is overrated.”

She hesitated again as if she was reluctant to impose. “Do you have an unlimited long distance plan?”

“Yeah, we can talk all night if we need to.”

“Are you working, or on a date or something? I don’t want to keep you from anything.”

“I just got home from a shift at the bar.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to sleep?”

“I can’t fall asleep right after I get home anyway. You’re doing me a favour to keep me company.”

“Okay. Um.” She inhaled and thought for a few seconds to come up with a conversation starter. “Are you going with Cole to Luxton?”

“No, he’s on his own. Are you still going?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed, reminded of why she called in the first place. “I guess I’ll have to wait and see what happens with my mom. She might not feel well enough to come with us.”

“A concussion won’t stop her.”

“Oh? You’re a concussion expert?”

I chuckled. “Actually, yes.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot all the —” She stopped abruptly and made a squeaking sound. “Oh, my God.”

“What?”

“I heard a noise,” she whispered with panic in her voice.

“I knew you’d called because you were scared, not sad.”

“I’m both, Billy. I freely admit that. If you were here and heard what I just heard, you’d be terrified.”

“It was probably nothing. You should turn the TV on so the house won’t seem so quiet.”

“I’d have to get out of bed and walk to the living room to do that. What if there is already someone hiding in one of the closets?”

I laughed because she sounded dead serious. “Why would someone be hiding in your closets? Either they’d be busy burglarizing the house or attacking you, not hiding.”

“Thanks. That helps a lot. Remind me not to call you the next time I’m holed up in my room, scared to death.”

“How are you ever going to move out of your parents’ house and live on your own if you’re too scared to stay by yourself?”

She gasped as if she couldn’t believe I had the nerve to mock her. “Look who’s talking. You live at your mom’s house, tough guy.”

She had me there, but I didn’t live at home because I wanted to. “I had my own place before my dad died. I only moved back to take care of my mom.”

“Yeah.” She dragged the word out, unimpressed. “I heard about ‘Billy Ray’s Hideaway’. I wouldn’t exactly say you were living there all by yourself. Rumour has it you took a different girl home every night.”

Jesus, rodeo gossip was worse than ever. “I don’t know who you’ve been getting your information from. I occasionally entertained a lady friend I met at work. It wasn’t every night.”

“Just admit that you don’t like being home all alone either.”

There was some truth to that, but not because I was scared to be alone. “Having another person around has its benefits, but we’re probably not talking about the same benefits.”

“Okay. That’s enough. Spare me the details of your sordid love life.”

“You want to explain how a girl who can get on a horse and chase a raging bull around an arena is scared to stay in a house by herself?”

There was a pause as she thought about it. “I do better if I don’t have any time to think about the danger.”

I smiled, knowing that well. “Cole’s like that too.”