Rapture 2: a BWWM, Alpha Male Romance (5 page)

SIX

Alika

He just said he has a daughter
.

I sat my glass back onto the coaster in slow motion. It felt like the day I had my first fight in fourth grade when the girl ran up behind me and punched me in the back with all her might and I didn’t even know she was coming for me. When that happened, my reflexes urged me to turn around, and I beat the dog shit out of her without mercy. But with
this
moment, all I could do was to be stunned. There was nobody to punch, and there was nobody to lash out at. There was just someone who needed me, and who in that moment…I didn’t know how to give myself to. Instinctively, I wanted to cry, but that would’ve been a very selfish act…an extremely selfish act. So I had to use every ounce of my internal strength to keep those tears at bay. It wasn’t the time. But fuck if I wasn’t dying inside. I couldn’t find the words to speak. I was hoping for Rush’s phone to ring, or for someone to knock on the door and break up the moment so that I could go somewhere and exhale as deeply as I wanted to, but none of that happened.

“Alika…?”

“Yes,” I said slowly. “I heard you.” Then I turned to smile at him, with great effort, and all I could do was nod my head. I had to let him know that I hadn’t tuned out.

“I have Oscar trying to find her for me so that I can get all of the details. I don’t really have any.”

Wow
.

“So is that why your sister was calling so frantically before we left for Disneyland? Does she know?”

“Yeah, she knows. She called the house because she can’t call my cell. I’ve added her number to auto-reject.”

“
Why
?”

“Because she and her old man both knew about my daughter and said nothing. In fact, my father’s answer to it was to pay for her to go away.”

“And
the baby’s mother
took him up on his offer,” I found myself saying, before I could keep the words from coming out. “I’m sorry, Rush.”

“No, baby, it’s okay. You have every right to feel that way. I might too if I weren’t so concerned with how I’m gonna make this work.”

“Yeah…” I said softly.

My heart was shattering in a million pieces at the thought of what all of this could mean. What if he saw the child and instantly fell in love with the mother? I mean, realistically, she’s given him the most beautiful gift God could possibly create. And whether or not the baby was made out of love, which was something I was deathly afraid of asking, there now existed an instant bond between mother and father that might very well eliminate me from the equation altogether.

Stop with the selfish ass thoughts, Alika!

I tried my best to shake the way I was feeling so that I could be there for Rush, but I was finding it so hard to do. My mind had reached a point of exhaustion in a short amount of time, and all I really wanted to do was fall asleep and wake up brand new. And maybe even in a world new enough where I didn’t have to wait for the reaction from the man I loved when he found his daughter
and her mother
. In a world where I didn’t have to watch them become a family without me.

All of a sudden, I became angry—with myself. I was a girl who was dismissed when she could no longer be cared for by family, and who subsequently grew up in foster care because of it. I grew up without the love of a mother or a father, and yet there I was worried about how all this was going to affect
me
without worrying about the little girl in all of the drama. Her little life was about to change overnight to epic proportions. And it was in that very moment, having that epiphany, that my heart went out to her. She was a part of a family who wanted her gone so badly that they paid for her existence to remain top secret. Yeah, this was going to encompass a whole lot of tricky shit that nobody saw coming. Just that alone made me realize that now was the time I needed to be there for my man and not nursing my own non-existent wounds.

I moved closer to Rush and placed my hands inside his. I held my head low momentarily before speaking so that I could choose my words carefully.

“That’s a lot to take in baby,” I acknowledged, looking into his eyes. “I can only imagine what it feels like for you, and I’m so sorry. I’m here for you. For whatever part you want me here for, I’m there. We’ll deal with this together.”

“Really?”

“Really. You’re where I want to be. And so anything that comes with that is what I’m signing on for. I love you, Rush. With all my heart, I love you.”

“And I love you with everything in me, Alika. Thank you,” he told me, pulling me to him in a tight embrace.

“So…” I started, still holding onto my baby. “You said that you needed to see if Oscar had any news for you. When are you gonna do that? I think the sooner the better. You should probably go check emails and check your office for messages. We need to get you some resolve soon. Okay?”

He nodded his head at me. I could see in his eyes that he was happy. But I could also tell that he was anxious and deeply concerned about how any of this would pan out for him.

“You go do that, and I’m gonna go eat that delicious meal that Hazel cooked. If you’re done by the time I hop in the shower, then I can lather you up in the steam,” I flirted. “But if not, then I’ll bathe solo and hang out until you’re ready. That sound good?”

“Sounds good,” he responded.

“Okay. Kiss me,” I instructed, pulling his lips to mine.

“Love those kisses,” he complimented, after our lips parted from our short kiss.

“Me too,” I said, slightly blushing. “I’ll see you in a little bit,” I said, getting up from his lap, grabbing both of our glasses and heading back inside toward the kitchen for dinner.

~*~*~

November 7, 2014

By the time the weekend rolled around, I was beat. Rush had tried to tell me that it was jet lag and all the excitement of our trip and then finding out about his daughter. He reasoned that it was enough to knock anybody down for a few days and insisted that I stay in bed. The true workaholic that he is, though, he headed into the clubs to check on things. Instead of lounging around our bedroom flipping through channels on the big screen and finding nothing, I decided to head into the media room. Once there, I plopped down onto the oversized sofa, and elected
The Wolf of Wall Street
. I pulled the fleece cover across my lower half and dialed the number of someone I hadn’t talked to in forever.

“It took you long enough to finally call, heffa! I’ve been wondering what was going on in your world,” Tracie shrieked into the phone.

“I know, girl. Life has been one big ass whirlwind. And it’s been good.”

“You sound like it,” she said, chuckling.

“I’m trying to get all the tea, girl. Spare no details. I’ve been itching for this shit.”

“I know you have. And I don’t want to rehash the super old shit, so I’ll condense that part. Curtis was all bad. Like,
way
wrong. That experience had me running for my life—
literally
.”

“Oh my God, Lika,” she gasped. “Did he hurt you?”

“It’s kinda hard to really answer that because I was so far into survival mode when everything was taking place, I don’t know if
hurt
is the right word for how I felt. All I knew was that I needed…no I
wanted
, to live, and so I set out to do whatever I had to do to ensure that happened. If I never felt that I had purpose before, when I was there in that situation, my desire for a good life hit me dead on.”

“Damn. Okay, so you managed to get away from that situation. Please tell me that he hasn’t had the nerve to try contacting you.”

“He
can’t
contact me. Number is different. Life is different. And now, poof! So much about that asshole.”

“Yes! I’m just glad my friend is okay. I was so worried, and then I was pissed at myself for how I reacted to the situation. It was probably the reason that you didn’t contact me, huh? You thought I was in my feelings.”

“I did feel that way. You told me not to do it, and I did it anyway, like some stupid ass naïve ass female. So, there were no hard feelings toward you. You know I love you like a sister. I felt that you were right and that if you never wanted to talk to me again, you were well within your rights not to.”

“There’s never gonna be a time where I won’t want to talk to you. Not ever. You’re my girl.”

“Cool. That’s good to know and I feel the same way.”

“Alright then. So, with all that mushy stuff out the way, and you knowing that you’re stuck with me, give me the juicy stuff I’ve been dying to hear.”

I began to prematurely blush and I hadn’t even spoken his name yet. If I didn’t know it before, I knew right then…in that moment, that I was all the way gone off of this man.

“Alika! Are you listening? Details, girl!”

“Oh okay,” I responded, trying to stop smiling. “His name is…”

I debated on whether or not to mention his real name, or what me and pretty much the rest of the world, called him.

“Alika!”

“Okay, okay! His name is Hunter.”

“Mmm, that sounds all kinds of sexy right there. I
love
that name. He sounds hot.”

“How the hell can a name sound hot, Tracie? You’re crazy, girl.” I laughed.

“Well, it does! It’s not like it’s a common name. I mean, maybe a last name, but for sure not a first. Unless Hunter
is
his last name…?”

“Nope, it’s his first.”

“
See
!
Sexy
!” she giggled. “The only Hunter I’ve ever even heard of is this hot ass baseball player that used to play for Chicago. A fine ass
white guy
at that! Bitch, are you swirlin’ out there in Cali?!”

Oh no
…
Hell no
!

“What the hell do
you
know about baseball, Tracie?” I asked, hesitantly.

“When I dated Omar’s married ass, he was all into sports, so I had to learn some stuff too. It actually wasn’t that bad though. Personally, I like basketball because it has way more action, but his favorite was baseball. Shit, it’s still the most boring sport of all of them, but those dudes wear the hell out of a uniform! Like a second skin hugging in all the right places.”

“You gonna be alright? Sound like you need some alone time or somethin’!” I joked.

“Whatever, girl!” she guffawed. “You got me all sidetracked bringing up that name. Wait…
that’s not him, is it
?”

My hand immediately went to cover my mouth in shock. I felt silly, but I couldn’t help it. Once Tracie got all excited about uniforms and actually knowing who Rush was, I felt jealousy attacking me from all angles. And now I regretted brining up his name at all. But it was way past too late, now.

“Alika…!”

“
Yesss
, you pest! It
is
him.”

“You have got to be kidding me! You’re with Hunter Cambridge?
Rush
Cambridge?”

Just as I was about to confirm that my gleeful friend was indeed correct, the other line beeped in my ear signaling another phone call. I pulled the phone away from my ear to look at the caller ID.

“Trace, hold on, I have another call.”

“Ugh!” she growled. “Hurry up!”

I laughed as I clicked into the incoming call. “Hello?”

“Hi Alika, it’s Jamie.”

“Hi Jamie. I’m sorry, but Rush isn’t here,” I said, in an attempt to rush her from the line.

“That’s fine. I wanted to talk to
you
, actually.”

I squinted my eyes in confusion, wondering why I would be the one that Jamie wanted to speak with. But I didn’t question it. “Okay, Jamie. Let me clear my other line,” I told her going back to Tracie.

After promising Tracie that I’d call her back, I was back in conversation with Jamie and waiting to hear what she wanted.