Rapture 2: a BWWM, Alpha Male Romance (4 page)

FOUR

Alika

November 2, 2014

I had just finished pulling my braids into a cute ponytail atop my head, and was ready to embrace the day. When I walked into the living room area from the back of the suite, Rush was on the other side of the room flipping through the channels. I stopped to stare at him in action. I didn’t want to say anything just yet, I only wanted to watch. I couldn’t help myself. He was everything to be not just admired, but desired as well. Without even putting a ton of effort behind his actions, he always managed to make me feel as special as a newborn baby being introduced to its parents for the first time. He had given me the best birthday gift of my life—my entire life. I mean, just when I thought things couldn’t get much better, we went to see Fantasmic! in Frontierland last night, and if there is a stronger word than, ‘magical’, to describe it, please let me know what it is! Who’s ever idea it was to bring forth entertainment where you could witness the forces of good and evil doing battle…it was nothing short of brilliant. I was like a groupie out there watching that show! I don’t even know if I blinked more than twice! It was like watching a movie off of the screen and in living color on the water, at that!
On the damn water
! I couldn’t contain my excitement, even though a few times I tried to pull it all back so I wouldn’t embarrass myself in front of the man I loved. I might’ve even shed a tear or ten. The best part about it was that Fantasmic! wasn’t the only water show! And even though I couldn’t imagine anything being as beautiful as Fantasmic! I was eager to visit the one at California Dreaming…before seeing Fantasmic!
again.
After all the excitement of both parks, our plan was to return to Downtown Disney where would shut the night down at House of Blues.

As I gushed over the entire scene in my mind, my eyes never left the man who had made it all possible. The more my thoughts roamed, the wider the smile on my face spread. Minutes later, Rush turned in my direction and smiled upon the realization that I’d been admiring him.

“What, babe?”

“Look at you,” I said, making my way over to him and straddling his lap. I grabbed the remote from his hands and set it aside, then pulled his face to mine. “I need you to give me those lips right now, Mr. Cambridge.”

He smiled, and responded with, “Anything you want.”

When that man smiled at me, my heart fluttered. It was the level of intensity I felt with him that brought about that reaction. In this lifetime that I’d lived, I had never felt anything like it. I kissed him like my life depended on it, while his hands roamed the entire stretch of my back, then around the curve of my ass where he pulled me even closer to him. In that erotic moment, it was appreciation, it was admiration, and it was an overall feeling that I had found the one who had me captured and mesmerized. I couldn’t help but give into the passion of our tongues sliding across one another’s slow and soft. After many, many, long moments, we broke from what felt like a trance. I pulled back slightly, still breathing both his air and mine, and caressed the fine hairs that made up his beard.

“I
still
can’t believe that you brought me here for my birthday.”

I fought back tears of joy. My reaction to his gesture might’ve seemed juvenile to most, but there I was at the happiest place on earth with the man I adored. And I was there because he’d listened to me back when we first met and I told him that Disneyland had always been somewhere I wanted to go.

“I don’t know why not. I saw the sparkle in your eye when we talked about it. I was dying to make it happen,” he admitted.

“That’s so sweet.”

“And so are you, Alika.”

We grew quiet for a few seconds, I’m sure for different reasons, but then I broke the silence.

“So baby…”

“Yes,” he answered, rubbing his finger along the bottom of my chin.

“I wanna know what’s going through your mind. You’re ninety-eight percent here. I’ve been a part of you for a minute, and in my quest to be all I can be to you,
for you
, I’ve watched.”

A slanted smile crept upon his face. “Okay…
and
…?” he said, turning his head suspiciously, and looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

“And I’ve gotten pretty good at identifying when something is wrong. I know that we still have a day left in the celebration, and that it’s probably the reason you haven’t brought up anything, but I need you to tell me.”

“Babe, it’s okay. Let’s just enjoy the last day, and any open items that we need to discuss, can happen after we make it back.”

I gave him a side eye glance, and when he didn’t flinch even a little bit, I decided to let it go. I trusted him to tell me whatever needed to be said whenever he was ready.

“As long as you know that I’m not gonna forget. So don’t go trying to be slick and keep it to yourself.”

“It’s all good, babe.”

Rush never commented in a way of denial, so I knew what that meant. Even though he hadn’t told me yet, I suspected that it had something to do with his family because right before we left for Anaheim, his sister was trying to reach him on the house phone. She called several times, back to back, and each time it was clear that she was attempting to hide the urgency behind her voice. She sounded panicked, and when I mentioned to Rush that she wanted to speak with him…come to think of it…he hadn’t responded.

After I left to get my hair braided and returned back home, it was time for us to head to our trip, so the subject was never broached again. But I would get the truth sooner or later because I hated knowing that something was bothering him and he was going through it presumably alone. Family-related or not, I would be prying because at the end of the day, I was now his family as well.

FIVE

Rush

November 3, 2014

On the flight home from Anaheim, Alika’s excitement was still tipping the scales. It was cute to see her in such a space. She couldn’t say enough about the water shows, the views from our suite’s balcony, the food, and how she wanted to go back in the summer. All I could think about was how much she would regret that statement when we did take the trip in the summer. Disneyland in the summer was not just ridiculously crowded, it was scorching. Fall was much better. We were able to dress comfortably, and the lines weren’t three hours long! But hey, whatever she wanted, I was determined to see that she got it. So if summertime was when she
thought
she wanted to go, then summertime would be when she’d be there.

There was so much to do when we did finally land. It would be back to business as usual. I had to check in with Oscar to see if he had made progress with finding Janae.
Wow. Just thinking about that hits me in the heart with a heavy pang
. Nine years lost. If I did find her there was no guarantee that she would want our child to have anything to do with me.
Wow, there it is again
…
my child
. I have a child out there in the world that I made with someone. I’d been in so much shock about it that I’d allowed my feelings to numb up on me. As anxious as I was, I had no idea where any of it would go, if or when Oscar located her. It could very well be that she’s married by now to someone who has assumed responsibility for Hunter. It could very well be that she hates me to the core and has already prepared for battle should the day ever come where we had to discuss matters as they pertained to our daughter. There was no telling what I was walking into. But what I did know with every fiber of my being was that there would be no man or woman, no time or space that would keep me from seeking her out. If for no other reason than to let her know that when she was of age and wanted answers, where she could find me.

Shit
, I sighed.
This shit is heavy
, was all I could think. It was…heavy as damn concrete. I knew that I needed to gear up for what could possibly be a battle royal.

When we drove through the gates, Alika’s head lifted from the headrest and she looked around as though she was in foreign territory. I chuckled at her as the realization hit her that we were back to our reality. And as if on cue, I immediately went into business mode about all the pending items that needed my attention. I had to have a collective bi-weekly staff meeting, Alika and her assistant manager needed to sit down with their team, and I also had to go over financials with my new business manager, Davis. I was sure that Gigi had an earful for me. She knew not to contact me in Anaheim unless it was urgent, but I was willing to bet my last dollar that Jamie had tried pleading her case to Gigi knowing that Gigi was a direct line to me. Which also meant that Gigi was probably in the know about everything by now. Which
also
meant that now was probably as good a time as any to fill Alika in.

Double sigh
.

“Well, baby,” Alika said, stretching her arms outward. “Home sweet home.”

“Yep, home sweet home,” I replied, softly.

She leaned over to kiss me on the lips, then pulled back and rubbed her hand up and down my arm. “What’s going on inside that beautiful mind of yours, Rush?”

I turned to look at her curiously, and smiled. It might’ve been wrong to be turned on in the same moment that I knew there was something extremely important I needed to tell her. And she of course caught it.

“Uhhh…
that look
, as sexy as it is, is being used as a buffer. You’re trying to prolong a process. But I can tell that you’re ready to spill whatever is on your mind, so let’s go.”

I shook my head side-to-side in disbelief, blinking in the process. “How the fuck did you know that?”

“Listen. I’m a woman who takes my role seriously. You’re not the only one who pays attention, you sexy beast. Your woman watches everything. I have to stay on patrol,” she laughed. “You wanted to be the best boyfriend ever and wait until my birthday was over and now that it is, you’re ready to talk.”

I lowered my head as the reality of what all needed to be said swam around like darting fish. I hunched my shoulders in surrender. She had me. It was time to purge.

“So, come on,” she instructed, unbuckling my seatbelt. “Let’s get inside and get this over with so we can relax for the night.”

As we ascended the stairs into the house, I hoped with everything in me that relaxation would still be on the table as an option by the time I confessed everything to Alika. Although this situation had happened almost a full decade before her time, I could imagine that it would be mind-boggling for her as well.

~*~*~

The moment Alika and I walked inside, the aroma from the kitchen filled my nostrils. I could already tell that it was my chef’s signature Brazilian steak dish. The welcoming scent of garlic had made its way down the very long Spanish-tiled corridor.

“I see Hazel is at it!” Alika exclaimed, excitedly. “Let me go say hi, and then you pick the spot for our talk.”

“Damn, you’re bossy!” I exclaimed, playfully slapping her ass as she walked away.

“
Hey
!” she shrieked, rubbing her palm across the touched area.

“You know I do,” she purred, looking back over her shoulder.

While she went into the kitchen to speak to Hazel, I poured us both a Brandy & Coke and walked them out to the indoor patio where I sat them down on top of coasters, and slowly paced the floor in front of the window.

“Lord! The man don’ made us drinks!” she proclaimed, playfully taking a seat on the sofa and grabbing her drink into her hands. “I’m ready,” she instructed. “Lay it on me, baby.”

As bad as I wanted to grab my drink and down it, I couldn’t make myself do it. It wasn’t so much telling Alika as it was saying it aloud. It dawned on me that it was the one thing I hadn’t done—said out loud in any setting, that I have a daughter.

Alike patted the cushion to her right. “Come on, Rush.”

The period for contemplating was over. I stopped pacing; I abandoned my spot, and reached down for my drink before taking the seat next to her. I turned the glass up and in two gulps, emptied the contents. It was when I did that, that I could finally see the anxiety behind Alika’s eyes. There was no easy way to start, so I opted for just diving right in.

“I need you to take in every word, babe, because there’s a lot that I have to tell you.”

She nodded her head in affirmation, probably like,
Fuck the speech. Just spit it out, already
! She had taken to lightly tapping the side of her glass with her nail tip.

“Before we left for your birthday trip, I went to see Jacob.”

“Right. I remember. Jacob who Bart was mixed up with, right?”

“Yeah. I know I didn’t talk too much about that subject, but we all grew up together: Me, him, Bart, and Gavin. But I was really tight with Jacob’s family. Earlier in both of our athletic careers, I took responsibility for something that really belonged to him. Long story short, we got pulled over with drugs in the car, and I told the police that the shit was mine.”

“Okay…” she stated, anxiously.

“Well, there were a few reasons I did it. For one, he was a like a brother to me and I loved Miss Glenda, his mom, like she was my mother. And then also, he was days away from NFL draft. I felt it would fuck up his chances, so I took the rap knowing that my father had the power and resources to run circles around any damage they might try to do to my budding career. Jacob didn’t have that kind of backup. It’s ultimately what caused the beginning of the huge rift between my father and me. He used that one incident to pretty much form an opinion of who I was as a person.”

“Wow, baby. I’m sorry,” she empathized.

“Nah, it’s okay. I let that shit go a long time ago.”

“Oh okay,” she said, reaching over to caress the length of my arm. “I guess that’s why there was no rush to put us in the same vicinity,” she chuckled.

“Yeah, something like that. So, anyway, when I went to see Jacob, he told me something. It kind of put a lot into perspective because I’d wondered for years what had happened to the dude that I grew up with. The way we were, whenever you saw one, you saw the other; and if you didn’t, he wasn’t too far away. But when we grew all the way away from that brotherhood, it didn’t take long for me to realize that he had just gotten caught up in his new life. I chalked it up to him getting lost in the fame, and I just let him be. Then I’d hear all this stuff about him still getting into shit even though he had reached a status where he could leave the hood behind him—”

“I already know, baby. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of that. I’ve seen it. You can take the boy of the hood, but you can’t take the hood out of the boy…”

“Exactly.”

“You don’t have to tell me that that’s who Jacob is, or was. I got a good read on him the day I saw him with Bart. You were blessed to have him exit and not stain your life the way he did his own. I mean, look at where he is now.”

“Right,” I nodded, solemnly. “According to him there was a method to all his madness. After all this time, that man hates me. Honestly, I’d be lying if I said I gave even half a fuck because I don’t. The way I see it is if the people in your life can’t tell you what their issue is, the moment there is an issue, fuck ‘em. That’s really how I feel.”

Alika nodded her head and her lips moved as though she wanted to say something, but then she stopped herself. But just as quickly as she stopped, she blurted out: “If it’s ‘fuck ‘em’, why did you go see him, Rush? I just have to ask.”

“It’s a legitimate question,” I answered, taking a small pause. “I went because something was tugging at me. I didn’t go to ask him why he did what he did or any of that shit because at the end of the day, he failed at what he came for. But, knowing him as I once did, I felt that something was off. Yeah, people disappear all the time when they come into a whole other lifestyle. People you thought were your closest friends, you grow apart from. So, I resolved that a long time ago. But when a person just shows up in your life after so many years and comes in with malicious intent, it gives you pause. And that’s what happened with him. I mean, he’s pimping, selling drugs, and a whole bunch of other shit—but inside my establishments. Kinda felt like his ass got bored and decided that he was gonna dedicate his life to fucking with me. But why?”

“Yeah, well we see where that got his punk ass,” she laughed, then bent down to reach for the last of her drink. “Just give it to me, babe. You said there was a method to this fool’s madness. What is it?”

The words rested on the tip of my tongue. They rested there because I knew what I was opening up—an onslaught of questions that I knew would be forthcoming. Ones that I didn’t even have the answers to. My mind wandered to what my daughter might look like. Did she have green eyes like her mother, or dark eyes like mine? Did she reach up a generation and have blonde hair? And was it curly, or was it straight? Was she smart? Would she like me? Did she think she’d been abandoned? Had she ever been told anything about me?

“Rush…! Baby, come on!” she pleaded.

I looked into her eyes trying to see into the future to see how she would take the news, but of course there was nothing there.

“
Ru
—”

“I have a daughter, Alika. She’s nine years old, and her mother’s name is Janae.” I paused a few short seconds. “Janae is Jacob’s sister…”