Ravensong (32 page)

Leaning forward, he covered his face
with his hands and lowered his head. The position eased some of the
black spots dancing in his line of sight, but every nerve tingled
along the length of his arms and legs.

Who would send something
like this?
Julian was the first that came
to mind, but that wasn’t being fair. There had been the magazine
article questioning his sobriety. Thousands of people had read it.
Any one of them might be capable of playing a sick joke.

He chanced a peek at it through his
fingers. Strange that something so small could make him panic so,
but he remembered…he remembered how it felt to slide that needle
into a vein and fill it with sweet oblivion. If he tried hard
enough he could catch a trace of that feeling even now, even after
so many years.

He jumped when the knock came at the
door behind him. Lunging forward, he threw the bubble wrap over the
syringe and cringed.

“
Five minute warning,
boss,” shouted Dominic.

“
Shit,” Joshua swore, his
fingers tightening over the package.

“
Boss?”

“
Y-yeah,” Joshua stuttered.
His voice sounded frantic to his own ears. Grabbing the bubble wrap
and syringe both, he stumbled into the bathroom and threw up the
toilet seat, then he shook the syringe into the toilet, but rather
than flushing it down, he stood staring at it.

Such a small thing. Such an
unimportant thing, really. For some it was a life-giver – for him,
death, enslavement, oblivion – sweet, sweet oblivion. No worries,
no pain, no suffering, just oblivion. When he used, nothing else
mattered, no one mattered, just the drug, just the high.

“
Boss!”

Joshua dove for the handle and
depressed it. The toilet roared to life, swirling water into the
bowl, tossing the syringe around and around, until it was sucked
down and out of sight.

Joshua slumped back against the wall,
the bubble wrap forgotten in his hands. He was drenched in sweat
and his breathing was too quick. The tips of his fingers still
tingled with remembered feeling.

“
Josh?”

Dominic appeared in the doorway, his
face contracted with concern. Joshua looked up at him, but his eyes
immediately returned to the toilet. Dominic closed his hand on his
shoulder.

“
You sick?”

Joshua tore his eyes from the water in
the bowl and blinked at his bodyguard. He couldn’t process
Dominic’s question. The blood was still roaring in his
ears.

Dominic’s fingers tightened. “Sit
down. I’ll get a medic.” He turned to go, but Joshua caught his
arm.

“
No, wait.” He brushed the
sweat from his upper lip. “I’m all right.” He staggered to the sink
and turned on the water, then bent over and cupped it in his hands.
Bringing it to his face, he closed his eyes and let the coolness of
it calm the raging emotions inside of him. Slowly, feeling was
returning to his extremities and the black spots were
vanishing.

Dominic put a hand on his shoulder.
“You don’t look all right.”

Joshua lifted his head and stared at
his reflection in the mirror. The pupils of his eyes were dilated.
Reaching for the towel, he dried his face and ran it over the back
of his neck. He wished he had time to change his shirt, but he’d be
sweating again the minute the stage lights fell on him.

“
I’m all right, Dominic.
Thanks for the concern.”

“
What the hell
happened?”

Joshua’s eyes went involuntarily to
the toilet and he snatched on something Dominic had said himself.
“I got sick. Must have eaten something that didn’t agree with
me.”

Dominic frowned. “You sure? Why don’t
I get the medic to check you out?”

Joshua shook his head. “I’m fine now.
Come on. They must have taken the stage already.”

Dominic moved out of the tight
bathroom. Joshua started to follow him, but his eye caught on the
bubble wrap. Kicking it behind the toilet, he moved into the
dressing room. The box was where he left it. He knocked it off
under the table as he and Dominic walked toward the
door.

Julian was coming toward them as they
entered backstage. He gave Dominic a growl and glared at Joshua,
but his expression changed when he saw the look on Joshua’s
face.

“
What’s wrong?”

Joshua studied him suspiciously, but
nothing in Julian’s demeanor suggested anything but
concern.

Dominic blocked him from getting any
closer to Joshua. “He’s not feeling well. I want the medic to look
at him.”

Julian’s attention shifted to Joshua.
“What happened?”

“
Nothing,” said Joshua,
pushing past both of them. “Dominic’s over-reacting. I’m
fine.”

“
You’re also
late.
Avalanche
is
playing an instrumental waiting for you.”

Joshua hurried to the edge
of the stage and looked out. The crowd was swaying to the sound of
the instruments, rapt with anticipation. He hesitated and glanced
at Julian over his shoulder.

“
What’s BPI,
Julian?”

The manager exchanged a look with
Dominic. “How the hell should I know? What’s wrong with you? Did
you have a stroke or something?”

Joshua stared at him so long that
Julian squirmed. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m fine. Just
fine.” He emphasized the last words, then stepped onto the stage
and into the spot light.

* * *

Joshua glanced at the concierge from
the corner of his eye, then pulled out the seat in front of the
computer and sank into it. As he reached for the mouse, he was
shocked to see his hand trembling. Why the hell was he so anxious?
No one would question why he wanted to use the hotel computer. They
were available to all of the patrons.

He heard people enter the lobby behind
him. Glancing over his shoulder, he marked that they were
strangers, then returned his attention to the computer screen.
Sliding the cursor to the search engine, he punched in BPI with one
finger, then pressed enter.

Two girls behind him
giggled and Joshua’s attention was distracted by them. They were
staring at him, smiling and elbowing each other. He gave them a
ghost of a smile, then shifted his gaze to the concierge. Dominic
was upstairs, believing he was lying down for a nap. He’d snuck
down to the lobby so he could search the computer alone.

So far there were only two girls here,
but if there were more, he might be in trouble. He would never
forget how they had torn into him during the concert, all to get a
piece of him, not out of any real intent to hurt him.

The concierge was busy typing
something on his own computer and didn’t seem to be aware of the
attention Joshua was drawing. Glancing at the girls again, he
noticed they seemed content to stare at him, nothing more. He
forced himself to relax.

He scanned the options that came up as
a result of his search. The first entry made him narrow his eyes.
He moved the cursor to it and clicked. A blue and grey screen
popped up with the name Bayside Pharmaceutical across the
top.

Joshua sat back in his chair and
exhaled. Scanning the web page, he located a phone number at the
bottom. Reaching for a scrap of paper in his pocket, he looked
around the desk for a pen.

“
Can we have your
autograph?” asked one of the girls.

Joshua took the napkin from her hand
and reached for the pen. He glanced at the computer screen. “Sure,
if I can borrow this,” he answered.

She giggled with her companion, then
nodded.

Joshua wrote BPI’s number on his scrap
of paper, then canted a look at the girl. “What’s your
name?”

“
Melissa,” she said with
wide-eyed pleasure, “and this is my cousin, Angie.”

Joshua scribbled a note to Melissa on
one side of the napkin and Angie on the other, then he handed both
the napkin and the pen back. They huddled over it, but Joshua’s
attention was drawn to the area behind them. More people had begun
to realize just who he was and were working up the courage to
approach him.

“
See ya later, girls,” he
said, rising and hurrying for the elevators.

“
Thanks,” they called to
him in chorus as he punched the button.

He glanced over his shoulder, noting
that a few people were moving toward him. He punched the button
again, feeling a wash of panic. He shouldn’t have taken such a
risk. He could have asked Elena to use her laptop, but he hadn’t
wanted to get into an explanation with her. Not about this. There
was no way he could explain what happened without looking guilty.
For some things, there was no innocent until proven guilty clause.
For some things there was just the guilt.

The elevator bell chimed and the doors
swished open. Joshua didn’t wait for the people to disembark before
he pushed between them and moved into the corner of the small
chamber. They gave him a dark look before realizing who he
was.

“
Sorry,” he mouthed, then
punched the button for his floor.

As the doors closed, he could see
people hurrying toward the elevator and stopping with groans of
frustration as he made his escape. He leaned his head back against
the mirror and breathed a sigh of relief, then reached into his
pocket for the scrap of paper.

He stared at the number as the
elevator settled and the doors opened. The hallway to his room was
empty. He had no desire to be caught by anyone else, so he hurried
down the corridor. Pulling the key card from his back pocket, he
placed it in the slot and waited for the light to turn green, then
he pushed open the door and stepped inside.

He could hear the shower running, but
even so, he walked to the balcony, slid open the door, and stepped
out. Closing the door behind him, he walked to the railing and
looked down on the city street beneath him as he reached for his
cell phone.

He felt guilty hiding this from Elena,
but their relationship was still too new for him to take any
chances. He didn’t think she believed there was any truth to the
magazine article; in fact, she blamed Julian for it as much as he
did himself, but if she knew about the syringe, it might be a
little harder to ignore.

He punched the telephone number into
the display and held it to his ear. It rang three times before
someone picked up. Joshua heard the female voice on the other end
tell him the name of the company, but he couldn’t answer. He held
the phone to his ear and stared at the number in his
hand.

“
Hello?” she said, sounding
annoyed.

“
Hi,” he managed to say,
then leaned against the rail and stared into the hotel
room.

“
Can I help
you?”

“
Uh, yes.” He closed the
paper in his fist. “I…uh, received a package from your company
yesterday and I was just wondering…” His voice faltered.

“
Was the package damaged?
If you have it in front of you, would you read the number found on
the prescription on the upper right hand side?”

“
No, it wasn’t damaged,”
said Joshua. “I wanted to know who sent it. There wasn’t a packing
slip or anything inside.”

“
I see. You want me to tell
you who ordered your prescription?”

“
It wasn’t exactly a
prescription, but yes, I need to know who sent it.”

“
Well, sir, it would have
to be either you or your doctor.”

“
Really? Are you
sure?”

She gave an exasperated sigh. “Can you
give me the prescription number?”

“
It wasn’t a prescription,”
Joshua snapped, then closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. “I’m
sorry. Can you look it up with my name?”

“
I can try.’

“
It was sent to
Joshua…Joshua Ravensong.”

She fell silent, but Joshua didn’t
hear the sound of a keyboard. He waited for a moment, but he was
too nervous to wait long.

“
Hello?”

“
Joshua
Ravensong…
the
Joshua Ravensong?”

“
The only one I know,” he
answered.

“
I’m a huge fan,” she
breathed into the phone and now he could hear her nails tapping
against the keyboard. “A
really
huge fan.”

“
Thank you,” responded
Joshua.

“
Why haven’t you done any
movies lately? I’ve loved every movie you’ve ever done.”

Joshua wasn’t sure how to answer that.
“Ah…”

“
I wanted to get tickets to
this tour you’re on, but the closest stadium is more than three
hours away. That’s a little far for one night, isn’t
it?”

“
Yeah,” he said, shifting
anxiously. “Have you found anything?”

“
Hold on a moment. The
computer is being really picky today.”

Joshua stared through the glass doors,
wishing he could hear if the water had stopped running.