Ready for Love (8 page)
“It pays to lay all your cards on the table. That way, you both know where the other stands.”
“Good advice. Thanks, Mom, you’re the best. Well, I’ve got to get back to work. I just wanted to let you know how things went.”
“Thanks. Do you and Ryan want to come for dinner?”
“Not tonight.”
“Okay. Talk to you later.”
Kylie ended the call and smiled. Her mother always was her best sounding board.
†
In the sanctuary of her office, LJ tried to digest the meaning behind the conversation she’d just had with Kylie. From what Kylie had said, it was apparent that she didn’t judge LJ for her sexuality. For some reason that mattered to her more than it should, and that in itself was perplexing
LJ would be fooling herself if she denied that she was instantly attracted to Kylie Wilcox when they first met. The fact that Kylie didn’t condemn her being a lesbian was significant on so many levels. She thought of Holly and the deep bond they’d shared. No one would ever eclipse that relationship no matter how attracted she was to Kylie. Holly had been her everything.
“Nothing can or will happen even if she is so inclined.” The cold, relic-filled room listened as it always did without passing judgment or giving praise. Her heart became hollow, and she reined in her feelings, replacing them with the normal cold and impersonal ones—even though in the deepest recesses of her heart she cried out for warmth.
As the weeks passed, no matter how hard she tried, Kylie still couldn’t get a handle on LJ or understand her behavior. She was often detached, but there were times when she actually seemed to like her. Every so often, LJ would join her for lunch, and on those occasions, Kylie found her to be affable and amusing.
On one such day, Kylie had been working on trying to fit together an intricate piece when LJ came in with lunch as usual. She set it down and began to leave.
“Will you stay and share this with me? There is plenty, and I would appreciate any help with this artifact…it’s really frustrating me,” Kylie said. She’d wanted to do that many times lately but never had the nerve. Her problem with the reconstruction seemed like a perfect opening.
A slight smile crossed the doctor’s face as she turned back. “Come on now, Kylie, it isn’t that hard, is it?”
Kylie had to catch her breath, as that was the first time her boss had called her anything but Mrs. Wilcox. They sat there sharing a sandwich as LJ looked over the piece, then told Kylie the story of the discovery of the artifacts.
“In 2013 near El Castillo de
Huarmy
in Peru, archaeologists found an untouched royal tomb with sixty-three mummified women that dated to the Wari’ Empire. We’ve talked a bit about the Wari’, but do you know when their empire existed?”
Kylie chewed on her lip as she tried to recall the date. “Not sure. Somewhere around 800 CE?”
“Close. There is evidence of them existing from 600 to 1100 CE when they mysteriously disappeared.” LJ fingered one of the pieces of the puzzle. “It took some time, but finally I had enough funding to go to Peru with a team to see if we could locate a similar site. “We had a plane go up to scout for ruins using techniques like oceanographers do when mapping the ocean’s bottom. And we found a site.” LJ gave out a small laugh. “I’m usually very meticulous, but this time I really screwed up. Why, I don’t know, because it wasn’t my first rodeo, but it never occurred to me just how dense the surrounding jungle was to get there. We had to hack away at thick vines to reach the dig site.”
“Oh no, how long did it take you? Did you actually do the hacking or did the bearers do it?”
LJ was all smiles. “I wish. We all took turns, and eventually we came upon the identified coordinates.” A look of awe came across her face. “Then we cut away some vines around what seemed to be a pyramid-type structure. A wall appeared covered in glyphs. It was incredible to view a building that no one else had seen in hundreds of years. I remember thinking at the time that it must have been the way the archaeologists felt when they opened
Tut’s
tomb.”
Her face was so serene and beautiful as she retold the story that Kylie found herself mesmerized by the look.
“Well,” LJ said, sounding uncomfortable. “I need to get back to work. Thanks for sharing your sandwich.”
“Please tell me more. I heard about mummification in South America, but my knowledge is limited.”
LJ looked at her with a curious expression before nodding. “Okay. The earliest evidence of mummies was about seven thousand years ago with the
Chinchorros
in South America. They would take out all the organs and replace them with sand, grass, sticks, and ash. There is some evidence that they sewed up the incisions with human hair. After that they covered the bodies in mud, finishing by creating a mud face mask and a wig of human hair.”
“Wow. Have you seen any of them?”
“Yes. The process they used is very similar to what the Egyptians used thousands of years later.”
Kylie, fascinated by the information, wanted to hear more, but LJ finally stood and left, citing the work she had to do. As she watched LJ leave, Kylie could feel the air being sucked out of the room, and she was bereft at the loss.
†
As her attraction to LJ grew, Kylie became more and more confused about what it all meant. Her mind kept tracking back to the singer hanging on LJ and kissing her. She had always admired the female form and often would look surreptitiously at women, reveling in their beauty. Kylie rationalized it as merely identifying with women since she was one. She knew her fascination with LJ couldn’t be sexual and reasoned it was due to her admiration of a strong, in-charge woman. One she hoped someday to become like.
Yet, every day when LJ came into the workroom and stood close to where she was working, Kylie’s heart rate picked up. At those times, she had to concentrate on her breathing and resisting the urge to connect with LJ with a touch, if only for a brief moment.
Soon Kylie knew the sound of LJ’s footsteps, the smell of her cologne, and the different variations in her voice that indicated her mood. There was no doubt that she found LJ Evans fascinating, but something else was going on. Kylie felt excited and happy when LJ was around, much as she did when she first met Ted. That was not only disturbing but enticing.
†
LJ ignored the books and notations strewn all over her desk as she tapped her fingers on the wooden surface. As always, she was listening for Kylie to leave. Then she could let out the breath she’d been holding all day, thankful she’d made it without doing something she’d regret.
She was getting dangerously close to doing just that by always standing as near to Kylie as she dared whenever she visited the workroom. Kylie was intoxicating, and on more than one occasion, LJ had had to rush out of the room when her desire blossomed to want, then need. It was at those times she knew she had to keep from doing something she would regret. She’d then hide out in her office or at one of the museum’s displays to avoid Kylie.
When four thirty rolled around, she wondered why Kylie was still there.
Doesn’t she need to pick up her daughter? Is something the matter?
Maybe Kylie was sick and needed attention. She was about to go and check on her when she heard the familiar footsteps. Quickly she grabbed the reconstructed bowl she’d retrieved earlier in the day and hunched over the artifact, looking at it intently.
“I’m leaving now. I think I may be on to another piece, but at the moment my eyes are too tired to focus correctly.”
LJ looked up and stretched. “Yeah, that can happen. Sometimes you just need to walk away to get refocused.” She gazed at Kylie’s body before closing her eyes, willing her heart to slow down. When she opened them, there was that beguiling smile again, and she wanted to smile back but didn’t. She took her own advice and refocused on the bowl, afraid her eyes would betray her true feelings. Once Kylie walked away, she could begin to breathe easier, and she waited for that moment.
“LJ, would you like to have dinner tonight with Ryan and me?”
Closing her eyes in yet another attempt to try to gain control and distance herself from the temptation, LJ sighed. “I can’t tonight. Already have plans. Maybe some other time.”
“Sure.”
LJ’s heart sank at the note of sadness in Kylie’s voice and looked up to see disappointment on Kylie’s face. The fact she was the cause of it stung in a way she’d never experienced before. Kylie had always been kind, generous, and accepting of her, yet LJ remained standoffish. She longed to get to know her since she’d never had a real friend. Maybe Kylie could be that, because anything else was out of the question.
LJ listened as the outer door closed. Sadness, an emotion she hadn’t experienced since her gran died, filled her heart and prevailed long after Kylie had gone.
†
Several days later, Kylie was finally able to finish piecing together a rather complicated bowl just as LJ came in with lunch. She beamed. “Look, LJ, I have another whole one.”
When LJ reached over to take it, her hand brushed against her shoulder and Kylie had to catch her breath. For a moment, her eyes held LJ’s and she saw the reserve in them before dropping her gaze.
LJ took the bowl and ran a calloused finger over it as she examined the relic.
“What do you make of these markings?” Kylie asked. “They’re rather odd and a bit different from what I’ve seen piecing other artifacts together.”
“This is a strange marking, that’s for sure. It looks almost like a sun symbol but not quite.” LJ looked up at Kylie. “During the Wari’ period and beyond, the people in the area often adorned their jewelry, textiles, and artifacts with images of winged beings going toward a door that they believed led to the sun. We’ve consistently seen that same theme with the Incans, Mayans, and other South American civilizations. The most interesting thing about this image is the similarity it has with the Egyptian sun god Ra.” LJ fingered the piece again. “I’ve always thought it was fascinating that throughout recorded history the sun and stars have always been prominent in many civilizations. We see astrology components at Stonehenge, with the early Egyptians, and in all the ancient South American cultures. I don’t think it’s a coincidence.”
Kylie leaned in closer to LJ to get a better look and pointed to an area on the bowl. “It’s intact. I checked it several times to make sure part of it wasn’t missing. I noticed what I thought looked like wings around what appears to be a person. Do you see that too?”
“Yes, that is exactly what it is.” LJ took a step back.
“Do you think it’s Wari’?”
“Most definitely. There is something anthropomorphic about this winged being.”
“Are you saying that because this winged being has more human characteristics than others you’ve seen?”
“Yes.”
Kylie cleared her throat and took a step backward, trying to put space between them. For some reason, her body was trembling. She wanted to chalk it up to the excitement of the find, but something told her it had more to do with LJ’s closeness. LJ Evans was invading her thoughts, and she didn’t know why.
Picking up a magnifying glass, LJ leaned in closer, and her head almost touched Kylie’s. She had to breathe deeply to gather her wits. Being so near to Kylie made her senses peak, and it took all she could do not to act on her feelings. Focusing on the bowl was her only defense to keep herself in check. “I think we have a significant find here.”
LJ turned toward Kylie and saw the flushed look on her face. It puzzled her, and the only thing she could think of was the temperature in the room “Is it too hot in here for you? I can have maintenance turn the thermostat down if you’d like.”
Kylie flapped her hand in front of her face. “Yes, it is a bit warm.”
“I will call them to turn the heat down, then.” LJ pointed to the lunch bag. “I brought you a chicken Caesar salad and a strawberry smoothie.” When Kylie looked at her in confusion, she asked, “That’s right, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. When you’re done with lunch, see what more you can come up with in the area where this bowl came from. Let me know if you find anything else.”
LJ swallowed hard and left quickly. Once she was out of the room, she leaned back against the cool tiles of the wall.
Damn, what am I getting myself into?
She shook her head and muttered to herself as she returned to her office. “Get a grip and stop acting like a hormonal teenager.”
Kylie had been working at the museum for almost two months now, and with each day, she found herself increasingly captivated by LJ. Most days being around the woman was almost too distracting, and she was continually trying to find opportunities to connect with her and failing miserably. In the past, she hadn’t had a problem with feeling people out and making them comfortable, but LJ was the exception. It was perplexing, but she’d continue to try, knowing that eventually LJ would give in.
Kylie left work on Friday looking forward to the weekend so she could separate herself from her campaign to engage her boss. Her quest overloaded her senses in a way that was both damning and exhilarating.
Her parents were taking Ryan to visit her great-grandmother, which meant Kylie had the whole weekend to herself. She called Lynne and Jodie but neither could get away until Saturday.
After walking over the same area in her living room for the hundredth time, she could still feel the pull of the conundrum that was LJ. She needed to get a grip. Her increasing fascination was getting out of hand, and she had no idea how to curb it or what to do next. LJ obviously only wanted her to do her job and not to become friendly, and she knew LJ would not welcome any attempted intrusion into her personal space or life. But to Kylie, that was like waving a red flag in front of a bull, and made her even more determined.
Not able to stand the quiet of her house any longer, she decided she needed to be somewhere where there was noise and a multitude of people. With that thought, she grabbed her keys and jacket and headed out the door. The Rusty Nail had been calling to her ever since she saw LJ there, and she secretly hoped to see her there again. As she got in her car, she hoped to find LJ again in a setting other than work—even if her girlfriend was there.
Maybe tonight if LJ is there she’ll be alone.
“From my lips to God’s ears.” She snorted at the absurdity of those words and guided her car down the highway.
†
After buying a beer, Kylie went into the dancehall area and found a seat close to the door, but not too close. She looked over at the band setting up and frowned when she saw Cassie.
Damn.
She swallowed some beer and scowled.
Stay or go?
Too keyed up to go home to an empty house, Kylie decided to stay.
I’m already here anyway. What harm can it do?
Once the band began to play, Kylie glanced over to the table by the door where LJ had sat the last time. It was vacant. Her heart sank a bit, but the notion that the green-haired singer and her doctor weren’t a permanent item cheered her. The combination of mellow songs and beer helped relax Kylie. As they played their last song of the set, Kylie decided to take the opportunity to get something else to drink before the bar became too crowded. Putting her bottle down on the table and heading for the bar, she saw LJ sitting at her usual table listening to the music. Kylie’s heart jumped at the sight of her, but she kept moving. When the band stopped playing, Kylie was within a few yards of LJ. She turned and saw Cassie moving in the same direction.
Not tonight, slut.
Kylie hurried in LJ’s direction, only to have an onslaught of thirsty patrons engulf her.
†
It had been another emotional week for LJ. When she watched Kylie leave for the weekend, she vowed to get over her stupid schoolgirl crush. Mooning over someone who would never care about her like that was stupid and unproductive.
What’s wrong with me?
Lucinda Jane, you need a reality check.
She smiled, recalling her gran saying those very words to her.
Once again, she began chastising herself for her perceived weakness. The little voice inside her head told her what she needed, and she argued with it until she lost the battle.
After leaving the museum, she headed to her apartment to get a shower and then go out. She loathed herself because she knew where she would go and what she would do there. She needed release. To dominate and take so she could eradicate the barrage of thoughts involving Kylie. It was the only fix she could think of.
“You’re a
brainiac
and the only solution you can think of to the problem is a quick fuck.” She sat in her truck for a long time after parking near The Rusty Nail Dancehall. With her window rolled down, she could hear the mellow sounds of Cassie’s voice. “You can always leave now,” she whispered. Losing the battle, LJ got out and walked toward those swinging doors. For a moment, she paused, shaking her head. “You are pathetic, Lucinda Jane,” she mumbled before going inside.
The crowd was thinning out as the band took its first break of the night. LJ just sat there watching as Cassie walked in her direction. The singer leaned in, her lips lingering near LJ’s ear before she ran the gold ball over her earlobe.
“I thought you weren’t coming back,” she cooed before she bit down hard.
LJ scanned the room while Cassie was having her way with the ear. When she felt someone watching her, she knew instantly who it was—Kylie. For a moment her heart seemed to stop while she tried to comprehend why Kylie would be there.
“Hey, LJ, I thought that was you,” Kylie said as she approached.
At a loss for words, LJ swallowed hard before pushing Cassie aside. “It’s me all right.” She felt Cassie move to her side again as if she were protecting her territory. Irritated by the singer, LJ growled, “Wait outside for me.” With her heart hammering in her chest, she turned her attention to Kylie, not caring whether Cassie listened or not. “Do you come here often? It doesn’t seem like your kind of place.”
“And just what would my kind of place be?” Kylie countered. “I told you that my friends and I used to come here all the time in college. Tonight I was on my own, so I thought I would get out and relax while listening to the music.”
“Have you been here long enough to relax?”
“Not really. I was on my way to get another drink when I saw you.” Kylie smiled.
“You shouldn’t be drinking and driving.” LJ wanted to get away from this stilted conversation and do what she came there for—fuck Cassie and go home.
“I’m not going to drive drunk. Two’s my limit. This is the second time I’ve seen you here. Are you a regular?”
“I’m only here when I’m in the mood.” For a moment, LJ wondered what would happen if Kylie knew what that mood entailed. She slowly eyed the blonde and swallowed hard, needing to squeeze her legs tighter as pleasure coursed through her body.
Damn, this has to stop.
“It was nice seeing you, LJ.”
Kylie was turning to go, and LJ couldn’t help but feel anxiety and sadness at the thought of her leaving. “If you’re going out, I’ll walk with you.” LJ caught up with her and walked ahead of Kylie, clearing a path to the door. Her heart began racing harder when she realized Cassie was outside waiting for her.
Dammit.
But it was too late to do anything about that as the doors swung open and they walk out into the night air.
Kylie touched LJ’s arm. “You can do better than her, LJ,” she said as she glared at Cassie who was leaning against a car and tapping her foot.
LJ took her arm and led her to the side of the building. “I can do better? With who? You?” She didn’t mean to sound so angry, but LJ was clearly out of her element and that scared her.
An expression that looked like recognition crossed Kylie’s face.
“Yes,” Kylie whispered, “with me.”
LJ pulled her close and kissed her deeply, running her tongue over the soft lips, which parted for her. She stopped and took a step back, sneering at Kylie. “Is that what you want?”
“Yes.” Kylie put her arms around LJ’s neck and drew her in for another kiss.
All the bells and whistles in LJ’s head were going off, and she pushed Kylie away. “It will never happen.” Inside she was shaking, afraid to let her true emotions show and terrified of what might happen if she did. “I’m not going to be your experiment for a walk on the wild side,” she bit out. “Find someone else, because it won’t be me.”
“An experiment, you say. That’s not what this is.” Kylie was looking her straight in the eyes.
“Whatever.” LJ shook her head. “It will never happen. I don’t fuck my employees.” She turned away from Kylie, who was staring at her with what looked like a startled expression and walked over to Cassie.
Once they were inside, she roughly kissed Cassie, lifted her skirt, and rammed three fingers inside her. Cassie tried to do the same, but LJ yanked Cassie’s fingers away from her crotch. “No.”
“Hey, no fair.” Cassie went for LJ again only to have her fingers swatted away.
Cassie’s orgasm came hard and fast, but LJ didn’t let up. “Again, come again for me.”
Cassie cried out, “Stop, you’re hurting me.”
Horrified and ashamed at her actions, LJ wiped her fingers on the singer’s skirt, opened the door, got out, and then turned back to her. “I won’t come back here to be with you ever again.”
“You’re a cold, heartless shit. I don’t know why I got involved with you in the first place. Go on and go. I don’t want you around me anymore.” Cassie glared at her. “Get the fuck out of my life!”
LJ slammed the door and walked quickly away. In the lonely night, she headed for her truck, hanging her head in shame. Thoughts of Kylie, who she’d cruelly turned away, filled her mind, making her disgrace all the greater.
From the vantage point of her car, Kylie watched LJ enter the singer’s vehicle only to get out a few minutes later, looking furious as she snapped at the woman in the car. It hadn’t been difficult to see what was happening inside Cassie’s car, since it was parked under a streetlight. Feeling like a voyeur, she chastised herself for watching the sexual encounter in fascination, unable to look away.
When LJ had asked, “With who? You?” Kylie had realized what was behind her quest to be friends with LJ—her interest was romantic. She closed her eyes, relishing in the powerful feelings of arousal the kiss caused.
“God, what’s the matter with me? She’s a woman. I’m a woman.” But in her heart, she knew that being attracted to a woman didn’t matter.