Real Leaders Don't Boss (38 page)

Recently, I had the privilege of meeting Gen. Tony Zinni, highly decorated retired U.S. Marine, former CENTCOM commander in chief, diplomat, presidential advisor, and confidant to several corporate CEOs. Zinni, along with Tony Koltz, recently authored
Leading the Charge: Leadership Lessons from the Battlefield to the Boardroom
(Palgrave McMillan, 2009).

Zinni says that there is a “deep desire among Americans for true leadership in troubled and confusing times.” He states that “the new leader must be able to operate at a blisteringly fast pace and be quick to harness ever-evolving technologies.”
²
If Zinni and others are correct in these assessments, that a major reordering of the world is occurring and that we are experiencing a “shake-up” like no other, it is clear that we need leaders who have the ability and toughness to place things in proper perspective and the perseverance to get up after being knocked down, be stronger than before, and succeed.

Real leaders aren't found only in the military, Congress, or the C-suite. Each of us can be the captain of our own veritable ship and an inspiration to those around us anywhere, anytime, and in any situation.

Consider the case of two volunteers. Mike Andres of Simi Valley, California, is an individual who, as a volunteer, is a real leader to those around him. He's not CEO of The Biggest Company in the World. Until recently, he served as a volunteer hole captain of the Northern Trust–sponsored Los Angeles Open golf tournament's special marshals. His role was to ensure that decorum wass maintained at all times during the tournament on the links at the Riviera Country Club.

Andres always took his job as a volunteer very seriously. He kept his team of volunteers informed via phone calls prior to the local tournament, with e-mail updates about participating golfers—stars and otherwise—and through other forms of communication. Beyond the basics, Andres made sure participants understood the mission of the tournament, were acquainted with the charities that benefit from tournament proceeds, and knew what was expected of them as marshals. He also carefully outlined possible expectations in terms of various participating golfers' preferences, issues, and idiosyncrasies. His goal, like that of the CEO of a major company, was to make sure his team knew the players, what to expect, and how to react to whatever situation might arise.

Ed Pagliasotti, a retired Air Force colonel, is another volunteer and real leader to others. He is the volunteer head of the Retired Activities Office at Naval Base Ventura County. His job is, in part, to develop other volunteers who can then ably assist former military personnel and their family members to navigate the military bureaucracy and receive the services they have earned.

He, too, takes his unpaid job very seriously and works diligently to maintain high standards amid what can be overwhelming layers of government bureaucracy. Despite the many challenges, Pagliasotti maintains his sense of humor and steadfast determination and direction. His commitment to personal quality and service is unforgettable.

In the workplace, commitment makes a difference, too. Years ago when I took over as chief of public relations at Blue Shield of California, the company and the healthcare industry were in turmoil. The San Francisco–based healthcare company had been around for nearly 75 years, but over the years its brand had lost some of its luster.

My goal was to enhance the integrity and brand of the company by boosting its visibility. We wanted Blue Shield to be instantly recognizable as delivering superior value and service to its customers. The solution, my team determined, was to partner with a highly visible, highly respected community leader—in this case, the San Francisco Giants baseball club. The partnership would include advertising at Pacific Bell Park (now AT&T Park) and promoting the Giants' and Blue Shield's anti-domestic violence campaign. It was a new and different approach for the health insurer, and initially the top leaders were opposed to the initiative. But I was convinced it was a good fit and a necessary alliance that would re-invigorate the brand by enhancing the organization's image in the city and across the state. It also would create a positive partnership with a very popular organization, the San Francisco Giants, one built around the prevention of domestic violence. Senior management at Blue Shield eventually agreed to the alliance, and 10 years later, the program is still going strong and so is Blue Shield. Mario Alioto, the Giants' superb corporate marketing vice president with whom I worked directly for many consecutive weeks to develop a mutually acceptable proposal, became a
close friend in this process of “shuttle diplomacy” between our companies. He, too, is a real leader.

As former U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates so aptly demonstrated in his tenure under both the Bush and Obama administrations, leadership is so much about relationships. To accomplish goals, to get things done in the government, in the workplace, and in your life, requires alliances with others. Without them, success—if achieved at all—will be short-lived. In other words, leaders can't go it alone. It takes troops who understand your vision to help achieve your goals. It's interesting to note that many leading business schools have only recently begun to realize the importance of experiential learning, critical skill development, and “people skills.” Learning how to effectively work with others has never been more important.

As a real leader you must have a keen desire to listen to all the stakeholders, starting with employees. CEOs must recognize that they can learn from interactions with employees and other key shareholders. The interaction, especially if frequent enough, instills two-way trust and the leader's vision is made real to all.

Many lessons from the workplace are interchangeable with the experiences in raising a family. As Amway co-founder and NBA Orlando Magic owner Rich DeVos said, “Leadership
is
what you do at home.” DeVos is a gifted leader who is certainly no stranger to adversity, having overcome many challenges on his way to the top of the business world. He's a man of great faith, an indefatigable cheerleader, and an articulate and staunch champion of the free enterprise system.

My wife, Joan, and I received similar good advice from our minister, who performed our wedding ceremony many years ago. He advised us to model leadership in our lives, to read books on marriage and then discuss them, never to go to bed angry with your spouse (both of us having had our share of yawningly long hours at work the next day because of it), and to reach agreement on our respective life goals before our wedding. He was a firm believer that each one of us needed to make a 150-percent effort in order for our union to survive and blossom.

Neither of us really used the terms
leadership
or
public service
to shape our discussion of the fundamentals of the kind of home we hoped to establish, nor was the term used in either of our parents' homes. But leadership and public service were more than abundant in Joan's home and in mine; they just weren't labeled as such.

We established several ground rules that we would strive to live by. They included:

Having a game plan
(what many organizations typically refer to as their “vision” and “strategy”). It consisted of a few foundations: to agree on the part of the country we wanted to live in where there was heterogeneity, diversity, and a good college because lifelong learning was an integral part of our ethos; to select a community where we could afford to live and participate actively; to get to know one another better before we started a family (which we would do four years later); and to share our experiences and our love with each other at the end of our respective workdays.

Setting a high moral standard
(businesses often call this their integrity or ethical principles). We strived to set a high standard of regularly practicing
our faith, remaining active in a denomination of our choosing when we began a family, and raising our children in the church because we believed it provided a key part of the foundation for a strong, healthy family.

Creating family traditions
(organizations sometimes call this corporate culture). We wanted to instill in our children an appreciation of people different from them; to broaden their and our knowledge of the arts, literature, and history; and to visit much of the United States and other countries. It was important that our children learn self-discipline, respect for others, proper etiquette, and how to overcome adversity, for experiencing some failure is an effective teacher and builder of strong character and resiliency. We also believed it was vital to our sons' development that they learn to love, have fun, be positive, be thankful for what they have, and assist others less fortunate.

Developing skills for success
(some businesses call this focus, execution, and risk-taking). We believed that our children needed to learn to be independent thinkers, self-sufficient, broad-minded, and secular as well as religious. We strived to expose them to people who were intellectually curious, who were well read and whose views weren't necessarily the same as ours. We also wanted them to have heroes—people they had read about or had seen—who were inspiring, courageous, and worth looking up to. The phrase “Mom (or Dad), I'm bored” was never tolerated in our home. We used books, Boy Scouts, athletics, concerts, art galleries, lectures, travel, friendships from various faiths, and numerous
family discussions to broaden their horizons and keep them occupied.

We had often talked about how best to prepare our children to enable them to hopefully reach their full potential. I'll never forget when my wife shared a quote with me from Alabama's legendary head football coach, Paul “Bear” Bryant, that in a few words captured many of the lessons we tried to teach our children: “It's not the will to win that matters—everyone has that. It's the will to prepare to win that matters.”