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Authors: Gerry Bartlett

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BOOK: Real Vampires Know Hips Happen
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“Twenty thirteen. Did the lass’s blood not cure you?” Fergus nodded to me. “Welcome, Gloriana. It’s been too long.”

“Fergus. I hope Maeve is well.” I recognized Jerry’s cousin and remembered his wife as a friend here. Another Campbell. Would this friendly greeting help my lover realize I did have a place in his life?

“She’s tip-top. Started a business online. I’ll have to give you her card. Makes some mighty fine jewelry. Celtic. You’d like it, I think. Maybe could sell a bit in your shop.” He turned when Jerry punched his shoulder. “What?” He rubbed the spot. “I’m sorry I didn’t find the witch but that’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?”

“Stop yer blatherin’. Twenty thirteen? You mean two thousand and thirteen, man? The year is two thousand and thirteen?” Jerry swayed and the laird and Fergus both jumped to catch him. He threw off their hands and pulled himself together with a shake of his head.

“Lad, sit. Gloriana, give him your wrist again. He’s light-headed. Or maybe I should call for some synthetic.” Angus shoved everyone aside until he had Jerry in his leather recliner, then forcibly pushed the seat back. “Now, listen to me, boy. You were stuck with a potion that’s given you amnesia of a sort. Take it easy. Let us care for you.”

“Da, I can’t believe I’ve lost over four hundred years of my life.” Jerry gazed up at his father. “Nothing looks right except you, Fergus and those two.” He gestured toward where
Mara was trying to tug Davy out of the room. “Stay. I want to hear about my daughter. You owe me that, I think.”

She cleared her throat. “Yes, I suppose I do. She’s beautiful, Jeremiah. But willful. As long as Mac was alive, I didn’t worry too much about her because she ever wanted him proud of her. But she’s led a dangerous lifestyle since then, kept bad company. You were helping control her in Austin. She’d moved in with you.”

“Austin?” Jerry closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. “Where the hell is that?”

“It’s where we live, Jer. In Texas.” I realized he had lost the years that even included the formation of the States. “Um, in the New World.”

“What the hell was I doing in that wilderness?” He opened his eyes and stared at me. “We lived together there? Were we married?”

“No. We didn’t even live in the same house. The New World’s not a wilderness now. It’s a prosperous country and we lived in a large city there.” I moved close to him. If he wanted to drink my blood again, I was all for it.

“So we never married. Yet you claim we were together for four hundred years?” He ignored my outstretched hand. “You were my mistress?”

“I suppose you could call me that.” I frowned, not liking that term at all. “If you need blood, take mine again. Maybe it will help you remember things.”

“It didn’t before.” He jumped and looked down at his sporran, the man purse he wore over his kilt. “What the hell? There’s something in my pouch.” He clapped a hand over it. “Did you stuff a beastie in there, Mara? Is this another trick?”

I grinned and flipped open the flap. I knew what was happening. “It’s your cell phone, Jerry, set to vibrate.” Sure enough, his cell was lit up. I punched a button and held it to my ear.

“Hello. This is Gloriana, for Jeremy Blade.”

“I’m looking for Blade. This is Adams, his manager in Miami. We’ve got an emergency and I need a quick decision.”

I glanced at Jerry. He was frowning at me and the phone at my ear, clearly a mystery to him. “Look, I’m sorry, Adams, but Blade has been in an accident. He’s not in any shape to talk to you about business. You’ll have to take care of things yourself. Can you handle it?”

“You sure he can’t come to the phone? Talk to me for just a minute?” The man was clearly horrified.

“Positive. Make the right decision and I’m sure he’ll reward you. What do you think?”

“If you’re sure he’s not available. Seriously, he’s
always
available.” Adams obviously doubted me but had no choice but to take my word.

“Not this time. He hires only the best, so make the decision yourself.” I skipped out of reach when Jerry tried to take the phone then ended the call.

“What the hell are you talking into?” Jerry grabbed the phone out of my hands to study it.

“It’s a cell phone.” I wanted to cry as he turned it over in his hands, obviously at a loss to know how to even turn it on. I pulled mine out of my skirt pocket. “Here’s mine. You gave me the cover for it.”

“Now that’s just ridiculous.” He shook his head over the pink crystal case. “What does it do?” He put his black phone to his ear and frowned. “You were talking to someone. Who?”

I had to clear my throat to speak. “Your manager in Florida, that’s another state in the New World. You have businesses all over the United States, that’s what the New World is called now. You go by the name Jeremy Blade over there. I’m sure you can trust him to take care of things until you can handle them yourself again.” I smiled when Jerry grumbled about black magic, shook the phone then put it to his ear again.

“Son, don’t worry about business or these newfangled gadgets.” Angus took the phone out of Jerry’s hand. “Relax,
drink some blood. Get your strength back and I’m sure your mind will come back along with it.” He gave me a searching look. “Gloriana, perhaps you could give him some time with Mara. To ask about his daughter.”

“Oh, sure.” I realized Angus had a glass of synthetic in his hand which he gave Jerry. I was getting the bum’s rush. “You want me to get a room in the village? Or I can sleep in my car again.”

“Now, don’t get your feathers ruffled, lass. Just give them a little time.” Angus eased me to the door. “You have luggage? I’ll have a lad bring it in. You are welcome to stay here as long as you wish. You can even sleep with Jeremiah if he’ll let you. Give Fergus your car keys.”

“It’s a rental. I’d like to return it if I’m staying awhile. To Edinburgh. But I guess…” I didn’t know how to proceed. Jerry didn’t know me. Angus was sending mixed signals. He was offering hospitality but the attempt on Jerry’s life had arrived with me. I could read that suspicion in his mind. “Well, we’ll play this by ear. Give me my own room. Right now, I’d like to look around the grounds myself.” I glanced back. As long as Davy McLeod was riding herd on Mara, there was no danger she was going to make a play for Jerry, not if she wanted to keep that rock on her finger.

Davy was a handsome man, tall and blond with a keen intelligence in his bright blue eyes that dared anyone to do his fiancée wrong. I had liked him on sight. Mara didn’t deserve him and he sure didn’t deserve a woman like her, but men could be fools when in love. I glanced back at Jerry, my heart turning over. So could women.

“Fine. Do that. Will you be wanting one of the lads to accompany you? For your safety?” The laird really was concerned about me. I could see that. And he’d obviously seen how worried I was about Jerry.

“No, I’ll be fine.” He didn’t know that I had developed some superpowers lately. Not that I’d tested them against a witch. It wasn’t something I wanted to try either. If the men hadn’t found her, I probably wouldn’t either. I just needed
fresh air and time to think not surrounded by people who considered me an outsider. Plus seeing Jerry so confused was breaking my heart. I’d like a chance to shed the tears in private that were clogging my throat.

“If you’re not back in an hour, I’m sending a search party.” Angus kissed my cheek. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m worried about the boy. He does love you and has been moping about. He wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, but I gleaned enough to know it was trouble between you two. Your coming here was just what he needed. He does have his pride, all the Campbells do.”

“Just one of the reasons why I love him. And you.” I hugged him then followed Fergus to the car. I pointed out which bags to bring inside then walked along one of the rough paths toward a stream that ran down a hillside. Fog had rolled in and it was getting harder to see, but I just wanted some space away from Angus’s security cameras. I sniffed the air, trying to pick up some hint of whether another paranormal creature had been here recently. I got plaid and vampire but nothing else.

I was on a wooden bridge that crossed the shallow stream when I suddenly realized I wasn’t alone.

“Who’s there?” I clutched the handrail.

“The person you were looking for, Gloriana.” The voice was husky and definitely feminine.

“The witch?” I could make out a dark, cloaked figure walking toward me at the edge of the path. Her footsteps made hollow sounds when she stepped onto the wooden bridge. “The one who gave Mara MacTavish the poisoned knife?”

“Poison? I guess you could call it that. The knife was dipped in something more powerful than a mere poison. I’m not a witch. Those creatures are so beneath me. Literally.” Her laughter was a trill that contrasted sharply with her hoarse speech. “You should be thanking me, Gloriana. Now you have a chance to start over. A new beginning. No messy man baggage.”

She knew my name. So this was personal. Had Lucifer sent someone new to torment me? We’d had some serious issues recently. “Jeremiah Campbell is not baggage. He, he is the love of my life.” I cleared my throat. “Why do you care what happens to me? Who sent you? If you’ve come from hell, then you can crawl right back down where you came from. I’m still not interested in anything your boss has to offer.”

“Hell? You insult me. I have no truck with demons.” A wisp of power pushed me against the railing as she threw back her cloak. I still couldn’t make out her face, though. “As to why I’m here…? Well, I’ll get to that in a minute. And calling Campbell ‘the love of your life’?” The trill of laughter again. “How melodramatic, Gloriana. I swear you should have stayed on the stage.”

“Listen, you bitch! I don’t know who you are, but this isn’t funny.” I tried to strike out at her but couldn’t move my arms. Power. She was loaded with it. “I have loved Jerry for hundreds of years. And he has loved me. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“What amazing devotion. From him. And foolish waste on your part. There are so many men. In the sea.”

“Who are you? A Siren? One of the Siren sisters? How do you know so much about me?” I’d met the Sirens and found out I had been cast out of their ranks and made human just before I’d met Jerry in London all those years ago. If he hadn’t turned me vampire, I’d have died a mortal’s death back then.

“No. Nothing so simple.” She threw back her cowl and moved closer. Now I could see her golden hair and eyes the color of the sea. “I am your mother, Gloriana.”

“What?” I drew back, not a little scared by her. Her blue gaze was too intense, wild and terrifying. Her pale skin glowed with an unearthly light. And there were those pulses of power that reminded me of other beings I’d met recently and not fared well with.

“Unearthly. Yes, I am that. I’m reading your thoughts, of course. I am from Olympus.” She smiled when I flinched.
“Oh, yes. It’s a frightening thought, I know. We are very powerful there as you saw when you encountered the Storm God. That man is so crude. He told you that Sirens are a goddess’s by-blows. Bastard children. Accidents. I cannot like his phrasing but he is right. That is indeed how it comes about. For some of them anyway.”

“You are a goddess? And I’m one of your
mistakes
?” I put my hand to my stomach, sure I was going to be sick.

“Oh, my dear. What can I say? I get these urges, you see. To explore Earth’s, shall we call them, bounties. Human men can be quite amusing.” That laugh again. I wanted to shove stakes into my own ears to keep from hearing it again. “And they have something the toga-wearing gods upstairs lack. A certain, um, innocence. Thinking they can win my heart.” Her smile was tinged with sadness.

I just stared at her. What could I say? If the woman had a heart, it was not apparent to me.

“Now you know why you enjoy men so, Gloriana. It is your legacy from me and has nothing to do with being a Siren once.” She gave an elegant shrug. “Obviously you ended up there because one of my forays had unexpected consequences.”

“Consequences.” I sounded bitter but who could blame me? “Ever hear of condoms? The pill? Get a clue. What is your name anyway? I won’t call you Mother.”

“It’s that or nothing. I won’t share my name with you. It’s for your own protection.” Now
she
sounded bitter. “Zeus has no tolerance for bastard children in his realm. So those of us who make a mistake”—she smiled with a twist of her perfect mouth—“well, we either terminate it or play ‘least in sight’ until we give birth. Which I did when I carried you. I wanted just once to see what lying with a perfectly charming earthling wrought.”

“Nice. So I was an experiment. And my father? Did you just pick some random guy who took your fancy, sleep with him, then abandon him? Or did you do the Siren thing and end him?” I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation.
I’d had parents. Not the simple folks I’d imagined but a goddess from Olympus and some poor sap she’d used as a sperm donor. It made my brain hurt to imagine it.

“Really, Gloriana, you must quit judging me. I visited him in his dreams. He had many wonderful nights with me. He was left with fond memories. But, as a mortal, he’s long gone.” She smiled wistfully. “Of natural causes.”

“Gee, how kind of you.” My knees gave out and I sat down hard on the wooden bridge. To hell with my cute skirt. Jerry didn’t know me anyway. “So you dumped me into the Siren system and left me there. Whoopee. Why are you here now and what did you do to Jerry?” I looked up, teary in spite of a vow to be strong around this bitch. “Fix this. Fix
him
.”

“I’m here to help you discover your full potential.” My mother, which was the only way I could refer to her, sank down gracefully across from me. She wore the Olympus uniform: white toga with some kind of gold and diamond pin on the shoulder. She had a perfect figure. I bet she hated mine.

“I was doing fine without you. You have no business meddling in my life, and certainly no right to fool with Jerry’s. What’s with the poison on the knife?”

“Gloriana, listen to me. I was captivated by your beauty the moment you were put in my arms. I couldn’t just drop you back to Earth into some mortal family’s care. So I gave you immortality the only way I could. Perhaps not the best life, but—”

BOOK: Real Vampires Know Hips Happen
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