Rebound (31 page)

“Well done, Ms. MacNamara.”

“Why thank you, Mr. Strausburg.” 

She may have been flirting a little. Childish, yes. But oh so gratifying! 

Cute: check

Successful: check

Xander seething with jealousy: check

“Here’s my card. I was serious about helping you with grad school, not that you need my help. But just in case. And if you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to give me a call.” He smiled at her. She took the card from his hand and said,“Thanks Brent, I really appreciate it. It has been great working with you all.”

They stood there for a second and then she felt a hand on her arm.

“Excuse us Brent, I need to steal Katrine for a moment.”

“Yes of course, Mr. Abbot.”

Xander led her out of the conference room and into his office, closing the door behind them.

“I don’t want you talking to him or seeing him Katrine...I mean it!”

She just gave him a look. The look that said,
yeah like you have any room buddy
...

“Look, I know I messed up and I have no right to tell you not to see or talk to someone. But god! The thought of someone else touching you makes me sick. It makes me want to punch something.” His fists were in a ball and he was obviously furious.

“Why, Mr. Abbot, now you know exactly how I felt.” She turned and left, slamming the door behind her.

WAhhh! Don’t talk to any other man because it makes me sick. Wah, wah, wah!!!! 

F -U- a-hole!

Xander shook his head.

“Damn it Abbot, way to go! You just made it worse. FUCK! What is wrong with me?”

 When he saw Brent talking to Katrine, he wanted to go over there and punch him in the face, scoop her up in his arms and run. She was his, no one else’s. His! 

Well, that was true until he totally pulled a Chernobyl on the whole relationship. Now he was going to have to deal with the consequences. 

Her perfect little nose, her big brown eyes, her full amazing lips. He couldn’t stop looking at her in the conference room. His eyes went to her automatically, he couldn’t help himself. It was her, his Katrine.

“Well not yours anymore, you douche...”

“Katrine, do you want to join us for a celebration cocktail hour?” Hal asked.

“Thank you for the offer Hal, but I think I’ll take a rain check.”

She saw that Brent looked disappointed. 

Sorry Brent, although it would be fun to drive Xander into a jealous rage, I just don’t have the energy...

The office was eerily quiet. They had all said their goodbyes. Everyone said how they would miss working with her and hoped they would see her again soon. She showed up two months ago, scared, with a moth eaten resume and now look at her. She was proud of herself and all that she had accomplished in such a short time. She smiled all the way back to her desk and gathered her purse. Then that smile fell. There was one goodbye she had yet to make. A goodbye that
had
to be made. She needed closure. 

Now I need a rebound for my rebound...that just sucks.

Katrine reluctantly walked to his office door. Xander was looking out the window with his hands behind his back. The urge to put her arms around his waist and lean her head against his shoulder was so strong that she grabbed the edge of the chair. It seemed so second nature to her, but she resisted the temptation. She had to for her own sanity.

“Hey Xander, I’m leaving. I just wanted to say thank you for the opportunity. I have learned so much. And thank you for all the rest.” Her throat started to close as the tears started to well up.

Damn it, don’t cry!! 

 He saw the tears and came over to her. He cupped one cheek with his hand, like he often did.

“Katrine, please don’t cry. I hate it when you cry. I know sorry doesn’t cover it, but I am, really and truly. I said I wouldn’t hurt you, but I did. I never meant to fall in love with you either, but I did.”

She blinked up at him.

Did he just say what I think he said?

“Yes, I love you. There I said it. I have never felt this way about anyone. You are the woman I have waited my whole life for. I’m in love with you, Katrine.”

She just stared at him for a minute, a little shell shocked.

“Oh Xander. I’m in love with you too.” She said it very softly and sighed.

He kissed her lightly on the lips and smiled. The feel of his lips on hers was enough to bring her to her knees. She wanted to fall into his arms and kiss him until she couldn’t think straight.

“But… you want to know the difference between you and me, Xander? The difference is that I would never do what you did, to someone I claimed to love. Never.” She pulled away.

“Please Katrine, we can work something out. I got scared. I didn’t know how to handle my feelings. Please.” He hated to beg, but he needed to, big time. If she would only give him another chance. He would probably just screw that up too, but he would try his best not to. He learned from his mistakes. And he would prove it to her. He loved her and she loved him. He was going to convince her, he knew it. 

“Didn’t know how to handle your feelings? For Christ’s sake Xander, your are a grown man and a CEO of a huge corporation. How can you be an expert in business and such a novice at relationships? And you got scared? That is such BS. And a spoonful of shit, is still shit, no matter how much sugar you put on it. By the way, love…it isn’t a mystery and it isn’t hard. You just do it. You love someone and let them love you back, a no-brainer, case closed. And the thing is Xander, the cold hard truth of the matter is... I don’t have the time...the energy...nor the inclination to teach you how to have a grown- up relationship. I’ve been through too much! And honestly I am just too damn old to bother. You’re just going to have to grow up all on your own.”

“Goodbye Xander. I will miss you so much. I love you.” She kissed him gently on the lips one last time and walked out, leaving the keys to the office and the emerald earrings behind. 

After she left, Xander sunk into his chair and put his head into his hands. And for the first time since his mom died, he cried…              

Three months Later

Katrine tied the strings of her running shoes and she put on her hat. She grabbed her iPod and locked her front door. She inhaled deeply as she walked down the steps in front of her building. She looked down the sidewalk in each direction. What path should she take today? She stretched briefly and then decided to head left towards the park. But first she needed to find her theme music for today’s run.

Tori Amos, nah... 

Silver Sun Pickups, maybe later...

‘Green Eyes’ by Coldplay. Never again!

Now, this one is perfect...

‘Glorious’ by Muse started playing in her ears as she took to the asphalt. Her feet started their rhythmic dance with the road and she was in her happy place. The trees were just starting to turn and the pavement was littered sporadically with golden leaves. Bushy squirrels made their way around tree trunks. The air was starting to cool and the autumn breeze smelled crisp and refreshing. The sky was clear, with stringy white clouds lightly draped across the blue. It was one of those perfect days. 

Katrine loved autumn. It was a transitional season. Transitional… she had felt that way for over a year. First with David and the divorce. Then Xander and that affair’s sordid demise. Now grad school. But the transitional phase was almost at an end, she knew that much. Katrine felt more comfortable in her skin than she ever had before. It was funny that in a way she had both of those men to thank. But she wouldn’t give them too much of the credit. It was her choices and her inner strength that helped mold her current state of wellbeing. She wanted someone to compliment her life, not to complete it. That was an inside job. Teddy completed her a little, but that was different story all together.

When Teddy came home from his summer away, she screamed and cried. She held him until he begged her  “Okay mom, chill.” He was so happy to be home and he had missed her too. School started shortly after and then they fell back into their wonderfully comfortable routine. But this time it was a little different. Instead of going home after she dropped him off at school, she drove to her new job.

She took Hal Smith up on his offer and started working in his marketing department. It was entry level, but only until she finished her MBA program. Who knew, maybe she would move up more quickly than that. It was a definite possibility. She had also taken Brent up on his offer. He introduced her to the dean of admissions, and after she aced her entrance exam, she was a shoe-in. She started in January.

She smiled at the thought. Back in school after all this time. It felt right; she knew it was where she was supposed to be. Hal said she could work around her school schedule. She felt lucky and she felt like she deserved it. She had suffered her fair share of heartache. Too much of her time and energy had been spent on love that had failed and men that had let her down. Katrine was ready for the new, splendid phase of her life to start.

David and Ariel were marrying in the spring. She wished him the best, but told him not to expect her to show up.

That would be a “no gracias” and a”hell to the no”! 

I would rather get a hot poker in the who-ha. 

But she was over him and she had let the anger go, once and for all. She would always love David, in the way you love the father of your child. She hoped one day she and David could be friends. She thought it was very probable. He was her past. She and Teddy were the present and future. That was just fine with her.  She was enjoying being single. After being with one person for so long, the change was nice. It felt liberating in all honesty.

Brent had been giving her the full court press, but she wasn’t interested in dating anyone. She might give him a shot when she was ready, maybe not.

Ian had finally decided to forgive her, much to her relief. At first, he wouldn’t return her phone calls or texts. He shut her out completely. So what do you do when someone won’t return your calls? You show up at their house. That is groveling 101.

When he saw her at his front door, Ian knew she was serious about being in his life. She told him about Xander and he seemed genuinely sorry about what had happened. He didn’t gloat, not one bit. That showed character.

“I am so sorry if I hurt you in any way, Ian. That was never my intent. I really do care about you. I hope you know that. I would like it very much if you would forgive me and I would love for you to be in my life.”

“I hope you’ve gotten the whole asshole stage out of your system. Now you can give a good guy a chance,” He’d said.

“Like I said before Ian, when I am ready for something serious, you will be the first to know, for real this time.”

They had become really good friends and they saw a lot of each other, on a platonic level. She still thought there was potential there, but only time would tell. She just hoped Ian would be patient enough to let her figure it out. But if he needed to move on to someone else, then she would deal with that too. She didn’t like the thought of that one bit. But you can’t have your cake and eat it to, at least not for long.

She was just now getting over the whole Xander fiasco, or “Project X” as Maddie liked to call it. Her rebound love affair. Her foray into the world of no-strings attached, casual sex. Well, she sucked at the casual part, but the rebound part had been a success. 

One definition for rebound is, increasing strength after a previous decline. Another is to bounce back or make a recovery. After her affair with Xander, she did all three. She had come back stronger after her divorce, she had bounced back from her grief and she had recovered from the demise of her marriage and the loss she had felt as a result.  Katrine owed Xander a little bit of the credit. He made her love again and that was a big deal after being married for such a long time. The experience helped her get over her divorce and put the past to rest. That was the idea from the beginning. The emotional scars from the divorce were still there. But a scar is a reminder of a past injury, not an open wound.

She had not spoken to Xander since their last meeting in his office. He had called her and he sent her flowers once, but that was it. After a few weeks of not returning calls and returning the flowers, he got the hint. He had his chance and he’d blown it. She couldn’t bring herself to talk to him. Just hearing his voice…she would have caved. In order for her to get over him and move on, she had to cut him out. It was hard, she wanted to see him so bad it hurt sometimes. But it had gotten easier and she hoped eventually it wouldn’t hurt at all anymore. She knew that a part of her would always yearn for him, for what might have been. But she hoped that part would become smaller as time went on. 

He seemed to give up pretty quickly and she was both relieved and saddened by that fact. She imagined it was out of sight out of mind for him. He fell in “love” with her, but it was more like he thought he had. She was the first woman he had dated that consecutively and probably the first one he ever let himself get close to. Maybe he let his guard down because he knew he would be leaving, so he felt more comfortable being himself. But he would have to answer those questions for himself; she was just speculating. She knew he cared for her, but he wasn’t sitting at his desk pining for her, she had no delusions about that.

 Xander had definitely made an impression on her heart. Once that happened to Katrine, it could never be erased. And she hoped he would think of her and the time they spent together fondly. He could have been the one, if there was a such thing. But now she hoped there was no such thing as a one true love. She wanted many other chances to fall in love. Maybe one day she would find someone she could spend the rest of her life with, but until then she would have fun looking. 

But no regrets, not any.