Rebound (6 page)

“Here, here!” Jane said in response.

“Except when they’re in book form. You love those books when the girl falls in love with the scoundrel. You have a secret fetish for bad boys, Katrine,” Paige teased.

“Hey, me and every other woman.” Katrine admitted.

Katrine kept the fact that her new boss rode a motorcycle to herself. That would not help her credibility in the “not crossing the line” situation.

“Oh god, those books you two read… She fights falling in love with him, and he fights falling in love with her. He is mean, she gets mad. They end up together anyway. Hot sex ensues… And don’t get me started on all of those lame names they come up with for genitals and sexual acts, like ‘he nuzzled her core’ or ‘impaled her with his member.’ Impaled? What is she, a rotisserie chicken? Jesus Christ are you kidding me with that! I read one once where he was doing things to her “nub”. Excuse me, but what the fuck is a nub? Did she loose a limb?” Charlie complained.

“I have one better. I read one where it said he ‘parted her folds’. Excuse me if you have to ‘part’ my folds, orgasm is the least of my worries. Getting to the first plastic surgeon to get that mess trimmed off pronto would be on the top of my to do list!” Katrine added.

“Hey push multiple kids out of your parts and see how your skin holds up, friend. Mine looks like a turkey waddle.” Paige joked. 

“Gross. I’m never having kids now!” Jane cried.

“And can you tell me what in the hell is it with all of those orgasms those chics have? I mean two, three, sometimes four mind-blowing, eye rolling “releases”, during one sexual encounter. That is just morally irresponsible. Women will start thinking that is actually attainable in the real world. Men don’t have a chance to live up to those expectations… Hey don’t get me wrong I wish it were true.” Charlie was on roll now.

“I know, I’m lucky if my husband hangs in there long enough for me to have one,” Jane giggled taking a sip of her mojito.

“And do not get me started on the penis sizes!! Do any of these guys ever have their stuff described as average or just enough? OH NOOOO... it has to be so big she could barely take him all in, and it was so big it almost bent. He was almost too big...are you kidding me with that?? Maybe I haven’t slept with enough guys, but if I ever say he was almost too big, just fucking shoot me! I am so stretched out after giving birth my husband could put three of his dicks in there. So I say bring it on, Mr. dick is too big. Bring it on!!” 

And with that Charlie was spent. They were in tears as the food arrived. Silence took over their table for a few minutes while they started to eat.

“You seem to know a lot of details for someone who doesn’t like those books Charlie...” Izzie teased, raising one eyebrow. 

Charlie just grinned and batted her big brown eyes. 

“By the way, I enjoy intellectually stimulating novels as well as the steamy romance. Paige back me up on this.” Katrine pleaded.

“Yes it’s true.” Paige and Katrine had a two woman book club. Paige was tired of yelling at the other girls for never reading the book selections. So they dropped the book club farce and now they just called it girl’s night out.

“It’s good to read a sexy romance every once in a while. Most of us are too embarrassed for movies these days, so we read our porn instead,” Paige said matter of factly.

“Speaking of steamy novels. Have you all read those books all of the suburban wives are wild for? They are supposedly super dirty, even for romance novel standards.” Izzie inquired.

“Read them.” Paige, Charlie, and Katrine all said in unison.

They all laughed.

“Yah, who knew the housewives of America had a hidden longing for bondage and butt plugs,” Paige said with a grin.

“Hey, I’m sure husband’s across the country want to send that author a Christmas ham, because if their wives are reading those books, they are getting laid! And not the missionary style, “hurry before my show starts”. I mean, nails in the back, biting the pillow kind of laid!” Charlie said, as Paige and Katrine nodded in agreement.

“Speaking of getting laid... You are now on the single list my friend. And it is time for you to get you some! I’m sure it has been a while, knowing you.” Izzie teased.

“Yes, you need some hot, no strings attached rebound sex!” Jane chimed in. 

“Jane!!” Katrine could not believe she just said that.

“She’s right. Nothing helps you get over a heart break like some amazing, no holds barred sex with a hot guy. You need to get the first one out of the way. That will be the hardest after being with the same guy for so long. Like a Band-Aid—rip it off and get it over with. Then you can focus on healing and all that other crap before you find a new long term relationship, if you choose to go down that road again,” Izzie said. 

 Izzie never did. Short-term serial monogamy was the closest she came to a relationship. She said she had dated too many assholes in her 20s to bother in her 30s. Katrine knew she would cave like the rest of them when she met the right guy.

“Okay, some tips when you have ‘the rebound sex’... Always put your hands above your head. That will lift your boobs to where they used to be. Presentation is crucial when you are single,” Charlie advised. 

“Yah, when you are married your husband has to take it as is, or pay for the surgery.” Paige said with a smile.

“I am a lost cause. After three kids it doesn’t matter where I put my arms, if my bra is off then my tits are in my fucking armpits. Be glad you had Teddy in your twenties Katrine. I am sure yours bounced back just fine. Those of us who waited until our thirties, well let’s just say the body does not bounce back as well, if at all.” Complained Charlie.

“Come on Charlie. You look great, it can’t be that bad,” Jane said in a doubtful tone.

“Not that bad, huh? Well what would you call the fact that when I bend over my tits look like an apple in a skin sock?” She paused to gauge their terrified faces. 

“I think that qualifies as pretty fucking bad.” Charlie said.

“Well I guess it could be worse... they could look like a grape in a condom.” Jane said with a straight face. They found that hilarious and they all burst into a fit of laughter. Katrine totally forgot about her bad day. Between the drinks, the delicious latin food, and the laughs, her frown was upside down alright.

Chapter 8

They decided to make a night of it and go out dancing. Luckily there was a place a block away from where they had eaten dinner. The girls walked out into the warm night air with a few more drinks in their systems and a few less worries.

When they made it to the bar, the place was not bursting at the seems quite yet, but it would be soon. The music was loud and the lights were dim. They made their way to a small candlelit table in the corner. The white chairs were  more like small rectangular shaped foot stools, sized more for feet, rather than for a behind. 

People watching was the best part of the night. They rated the other women’s outfits and admired the cute guys, just soaking in the scene. Katrine didn’t get out all that often, so she was particularly amused by the drunken mating rituals taking place all around her. 

After a while the place did become very full. They were gossiping and enjoying their drinks when a man approached their table. He was tall and good looking, that is until he smiled, revealing a mouth full of ultra-white, piano key teeth. Katrine cringed. She hated those fake teeth. They gave her the creeps.

“Good evening lovely ladies, you look like you could use some company.”

“Um, there are five of us at the table, so what would give you that idea?” Paige said frostily.

“I meant male company. I was admiring you all from over at the bar and couldn’t help but notice that you all need some meat in your little female sandwich.”

They all looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Was this guy serious? He couldn’t be. They waited for him to say ‘just kidding’ or walk away, but he didn’t. Okay, maybe he was serious. He asked for it…

 Charlie reached into her purse and took out her phone, putting it to her ear. She crooked her finger at the man, urging him to lean in close.

“Hold please. Here, the phone is for you.” she said, handing her pink phone to the obnoxious stranger.

“Uh, okay. Who is it?” he asked, a little apprehensively as he reached for the phone.

“It’s Summer’s Eve… They say you’re just the douche they’ve been looking for.” she said straight-faced, as she leaned to hand him the phone. That did the trick. His hand dropped, he turned around and he briskly walked away, leaving the girls in hysterics.

“Damn, Charlie. You are hard core sometimes. Remind me never to get on your bad side.” Izzie said, as she wiped her eyes.

“He obviously couldn’t take a hint, so I needed to use a more direct approach. Serves him right. Meat in our sandwich, what a dick,” Charlie said swigging her light beer.  

Leave it to Charlie to totally emasculate a total stranger with one sentence.

“Wow, Katrine. There is a smokin’ hot guy checking you out, girl,” Izzie said.

Katrine tried to be smooth and casually turned her head to see for herself. But when the whole table was craning their necks, all stealth went out the window. The man in question was indeed very good looking. Shorter than she usually liked, but his face made up for the loss in vertical inches. He was very slender with dark curls that fell to his shoulders. He looked like the waif, musician type. 

“Oooo, yummy!” Jane added.

“Well, looks like you still got it! You will be off of your sexual drought in no time,” Paige yelled. The music was very loud, so they were all yelling in various octaves.

Later when they were dancing, said hottie came up behind Katrine and started to dance with her. It had been so long since she had danced, and with a random guy too. She felt exhilarated and nervous all rolled into one. Musician or not, the boy could move. A familiar, sultry voice was singing “make me feel, like I’m the only girl in the world.” That is how she felt at that moment, moving with this handsome stranger. She lost herself in the bass and thump of the music. Everything else around her fell away, her divorce, Teddy’s departure, and her new boss.

More drinks, more laughs, and more gyrating with random guys was pretty much how the night progressed for Katrine. She was really enjoying herself and wondered why she hadn’t done this sooner. It wasn’t something she would want to do every weekend—she was too old for that and the recovery was much harder these days. But now that she was single, she wanted to get together with all of her friends more often. 

When they decided to call it a night, Katrine went to get her car out of the valet. She had stopped drinking two hours before and did a lot of dancing, so she felt safe driving the six minutes to her place. 

“Why didn’t you give that guy your number?” Jane asked. “He was a hottie, Katrine.” 

“He asked, and yes he was hot, but I decided to leave it in the bar, you know? It was perfect for one night and I will leave it at that. I guess I’m not ready to give out my number yet. Especially to a guy I’ve rubbed my butt against on a dark dance floor.”

“I know whachya mean. He waz too sssskinny anyway.” Charlie slurred.

They all giggled.

“Yes, good point! If the guy’s ass is smaller than mine, no deal.” Katrine said.

She hugged the girls goodbye. As she drove away she saw Jane and Paige help Izzie stumble into a cab. Charlie was holding onto a light pole, with an unlit cigarette hanging out of her mouth. 

Katrine pulled up to her place and parked out front, parallel to the side walk. As she was locking her car a black motorcycle drove past. It slowed down a little and then took off. It made her think of her boss. He would have had plenty to say about her tonight.

“Bite me boss man, I had fun! And it was fruitful!!!” she yelled at the fleeing motorcycle.

Okay, acting like a mental patient in front of my place again, really need to work on that.

Katrine was excited when she woke up the next morning. She had an appointment to get her hair cut. Tristan León, of the León Salon, was a dear friend of hers, not to mention the owner of one of the top salons in the area. Tristan was gorgeous with deep olive skin, brown eyes, and dark black curls. He spoke with this very southern, slightly euro accent. You had to hear it to believe it. The accent was suspect to say the least. Probably more suspect to Katrine because she knew he was from New Jersey. His secret was safe with her. He was a shopping partner, shoulder to cry on, gossip buddy, confidant—and she didn’t have to do his laundry or have sex with him. It was a win, win! 

The salon was beautiful, sleek and very modern, decorated in whites and grays. There were many water features and Asian-inspired accents that gave the salon a tranquil, spa-like quality. The ambient music also added to that vibe.

“Kaaahhhtrrrrene! Oh it is so good to see you. You are an absolute vision!”

“Hi handsome. It’s been too long!” 

They embraced and did the European two cheek kiss thing. Katrine found the two cheek tricky. What cheek did she start with? She was afraid that she would end up doing a partial lip kiss, or worse end up kissing a nose, and that was just awkward. 

Tristan always washed Katrine’s hair himself, instead of one of his many minions. She loved that fact because he gave the most amazing scalp massages, plus it annoyed her to have to tip a separate person to rub some shampoo on her head. The warm water and the glorious smell of the mint shampoo he used instantly relaxed her. His rhythmic massaging was putting her in a trance like state, so nice. 

As they walked to the chair Tristan regaled her with stories of his latest dysfunctional conquest. He was always in the midst of some dramatic romance, he preferred them hot, young, and emotionally unbalanced.

“Sweetie, you really need to date a different type of person, you might surprise yourself. Someone a little more stable and less high maintenance.” Katrine advised.

“Are you offering angel? You are divine, but I haven’t tried that brand of different since I was in school. I prefer my tuna rolled in seaweed, dawling.”