Reckless Abandon (8 page)

“There,” she gasped into my neck as she wrapped her arms around me.

“Right there?” I mimicked my motion.

“Yes. Jer?” She leaned back against the cool ground.

“Yeah, babe?”

“I love you.”

And without any hesitation I told her, “I love you too, Nicole.”

Well, now I claimed her heart as well. I’m fucked.

Present

Eva

After cleaning up the stage and getting the club girls out of the clubhouse, I proceeded to make my way towards the boys’ rooms. Jax ordered me to take both Derrick and Hunter back to their rooms. The Derrick kid was a total baby-faced lady-killer. If that wasn’t an oxymoron, then I don’t know what is. It felt cruel bringing him back to his holding room; the kid has some serious fuckin’ issues. Although, I could have sworn I saw a chain around his neck, one that looked similar to someone in the service. Tags, maybe. Yum, a man in fatigues, hot! Shaking my head I went to Jax’s office, where I was instructed to wait for Hunter while Jax finished up with him.

I heard a pair of boots come down the hallway, and my eyes darted over as I knew that gait anywhere. Jamison, Jax’s father.

“There she is.” Jamison made his way over to where I stood, leaning up against a wall.

“James.” I tipped my chin in his direction; I didn’t want him asking why I was loitering by the Chapel.

“Tell my son I said hello. I have some business that needs my immediate attention.” Nicole. He must have caught wind that she was here. His baby girl, Nicole. What a fuckin’ shit storm. As soon as I could no longer hear Jamison’s boots, the door to Jax’s office swung open. A pissed off Hunter emerged and his dark eyes bored into mine. It was like time stood still, as the tension between the two of us was what it was that night he found out who I really was. Jax was next, and he sidestepped Hunter and honed in on me.

“Show him to his room, then come to mine.” His rough calloused hands followed my jawline. I didn’t like the tone in his voice or the sinful look in his eye. Something was wrong, very wrong.

“As you wish,” I replied to his command and walked towards the part of the club that was connected to the coke sweatshop, as well as Hunter’s room. Hunter- he was dead quiet. I felt his eyes like laser beams cutting into the back of my head. I walked with force as my heels echoed against the faux hardwood floors.

“Silent treatment now?” I asked over my shoulder as I led us.

Nothing.

We walked a little further.

“Still nothing?” I giggled lightly as I turned around and my smile fell as soon as I saw Hunter’s face. If looks could kill, consider me six feet under. I halted to a stop, as his eyes seemed to have lit with something. It was a mix of beauty and rage.

“I have nothing to say to you.” His jaw flexed under the florescent lighting. My eyebrow cocked itself.

“Good, ‘cause I have nothing to say to you either.” I went to turn back around and I felt his hands grab me. I was shoved up against the wall.

“Not here, he has camera’s on these halls!” I hissed as my shoulder blades slammed against the wall. Before I knew it, Hunter was leading us down the hallway to his room.

“What are you, nuts? What the fuck is the matter with you? You trying to get us both killed?” I unlocked his room and I was hauled inside.

“You have nothing to say to me?!” I was up between a door and a hard place. That hard place being Hunter’s jacked body. Sweet Jesus.

“Would you please explain to me what the fuck is going on?”

“How about you tell me what the fuck is going on?”

“What are you tal-.” His palms smacked the wall on either side of my head. I had a quick flashback to that night. There is one thing he doesn’t know about. That one thing, I’ll never give up. Hunter would kill me if he knew the truth.

“DON’T FUCKIN LIE TO ME!” I felt his body shake with adrenaline and fury.

“Stop it!” I shoved at his chest, earning me a few inches of space from him.

“Tell me now, Eva, or I swear to fucking God, that I’ll give you up so fast…”

“Are you threatening me? That’s funny considering you’re the one who’s fucked right now. You’re the one being held hostage by a rival MC. Jax’s father, Jamison, has a lot more in store for you and your brothers. I wouldn’t be so worried about what I’m doing. You should be worried about saving your own ass, Sabatino,” I shot back at him, shoulders squared.

“That’s what I always loved about you, Eva, that mouth. I told you it was going to get you into a shit load of shit one day. And guess what, today is that day.”

Hunter

Eva’s body stiffened against me. She was pissed, like I had just verbally slapped her with my words.

“Hold the fuck up.” Here she goes.

“You know, Eva, for being a Fed, you must have excelled in your MC class. You really fucked your way to the top, haven’t you?” I verbally spit those words in her beautiful face.

The fire ignited in her eyes.

“Well, I didn’t hear any complaints when I was riding your dick!” Instinctively, my hand reached out and my fingertips smacked her mouth. Shocked, Eva put her hands to her lips.

I was pissed at myself for letting her smart ass comment get to me, and for touching her like that. I wasn’t that type of man. My mother raised me better. I should have never put my hands on her, but fuck, she knows exactly what to say to get under my skin. I turned my back to her and pushed my hands through my hair.

“I can’t believe you just did that.”

“No? I can’t believe you just said that!” My temper flared again as my right arm flayed about in front of me. Eva backed against the wall. Fuck, she thought I was going to hit her again.

“So what is your problem then? If you’re going to be talking all this shit, you better have something to back it up, because I, for one, don’t appreciate your bull-fucking-shit.” I cut her off right there.

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“What? Tell you, what?”

“You’re fucking kidding me right now, aren’t you?” Eva pushed off the wall and stood up to me.

“Kidding you about what, Hunter? Stop with the fuckin’ riddles. Was I ever going to tell you about what?” Her red hair swung over her right shoulder as she raised her hand to massage her temple.

“My daughter.” The words sounded so foreign coming from my mouth, but fuck, did saying that make my chest swell with pride. I watched Eva’s dark eyes go wide, and she froze like ice.

“I-I have to go,” Eva stuttered, trying to avoid the situation. She rapidly turned her back to me as she reached for the door handle. I pulled her back against the front of my body. My fingers dug into the flesh on her hips, hips that bared my child. I walked us forward so the front of her body was flush against the door, forcing her face to turn sideways and her cheek to lie alongside the cool metal. As Eva closed her eyes, her sooty eyelashes contrasted against her creamy skin, and now flushed face.  No matter how mad I was at her, Eva was beyond gorgeous. Eva was a living and breathing goddess in my book, and I worshiped the shit outta that woman. She was my weakness,
is
and always will be. I can never explain that shit, but it what it is.

“You should have told me.” My jaw clenched and the muscles in my cheeks flexed.

“How did you find out?” Her voice came out as a whisper, I barely heard her.

“Does it matter?” I whispered against the back of her head.

“I can’t-” She started to pull away from me, but I held tight.

“You can, and you will. How the fuck could you do this? You were going to just live your little lie of a life and never tell your husband that he was a father?”

“Ex-husband.”

“Last I checked, you never signed the court papers.” She knew I was right. I could see her having a battle within herself. She fought the words that were about to be spoken.

“She’s not yours.” Eva inhaled a deep breath and looked upward. Her jaw flexed as a tear escaped the corner of her eye. My stomach dropped, but I knew something wasn’t right. She was fucking lying through her teeth.

“What the fuck, Eva?” I roared.

“She’s not, now let go of me and forget we had this conversation.” I eased off of her and let her open the door.

“She has my eyes, smile, hair color, even the dimples.” I pointed to my cheeks. “She’s beautiful, just like her mother….” My voice faded. The image of that little dark-haired toddler was etched into my mind. I couldn’t ever forget the face of an angel, my daughter. A daughter I never knew existed.

“Hunter-“ Her voiced cracked.

“At least tell me one thing.”

“What’s that?” She looked me in the eye. Her brown eyes now brimmed with unshed tears.

“Her name.”

“Isabella Rose.”

Eva waited for me to say something but I was in shock. She named her after my mother. I went to take a step toward her, but Eva hesitated and walked out, closing and locking the door behind her. If Eva thought my room was soundproof, it wasn’t. I heard the cry that she let out as soon as her hand left the doorknob. I kicked the metal chair cross the room and pounded my closed fists and forearms against a wall, hard enough to dent the dry wall. If Jax thought he was going to use my family against me, he was wrong. So fucking wrong.

Eva

I felt the first twinge of pain when Hunter asked about his daughter, our daughter. The life that we created together and the fatherhood he’s been missing out on. I was six weeks pregnant when I was re-assigned to the Devils MC. Yes, I knew, and hell-to-the no was I running back to Hunter and telling him the news. I wouldn’t risk my life and my baby’s life, just to congratulate him. I had to let the idea of Hunter go, but I knew in my heart that I would always have a piece of him with me.

My job was unaware of my pre-existing condition as I was heading full-throttle into Idaho to spark up a new investigation. Devils MC were totally opposite of the Hell’s Rebels and the Condemned Angels, completely ruthless.  They stood for everything corrupt, and I was scared shitless putting myself in that situation. However, the person that was now corrupted was myself. To keep my spot next to Jax, I lied. This lie will haunt me till the day I die. I told Jax that Isabella was his. I was early enough in my pregnancy to play off that he got me pregnant. He was a biker and how was he to know a woman’s menstrual cycle, or how the timeline played out. He never questioned her dark features- they were close enough to my natural hair color. Hunter didn’t seem to know this little part of my lie. If he did, he would have fuckin’ killed me back there.

Now, I have to work to keep both parties happy. Jax wouldn’t have told Hunter without a reason. I have to face him tonight, and I pray he doesn’t bring up his club business.

Nicole

As I laid on the bed, my mind raced. A knock sounded at my door, followed by footsteps. I thought it was Jax, but there was a different presence in the room. Turning my head I saw a man. Just looking at him, I knew. I knew he was my father.

“Nicole.” His deep voice filled the room.

I took in the man before me. In his late fifties, about 6’1”, stocky build, salt and pepper hair and beard, tan leathery skin¸ and a worn Devil’s MC cut.

“Donor,” I greeted as I sat upright.

“I guess I deserve that. The name is Kit.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he pulled up the vanity stool and sat down next to my bedside.

“Kit? Well Kit, I don’t want to hear what you have to say.” Memories flooded my mind of the night I discovered the entire nightmare. He saw my brain working.

“Your Mom…,” he started.

“You don’t have the fucking right to even speak of her, you son of a bitch!” I pushed off the bed, going toe-to-toe with a man I barely knew.

“You’re not the only one hurting here, Nicole. I miss her too, you know? She was the goddamn love of my life, and she’s gone because Vince killed her! With his goddamn bare hands.” He made fists between us. “If he weren’t dead already, it would have been a bullet from my pistol that would have taken his life.” He looked tough as nails on the outside, but from his words I could tell he was a broken man. I felt emotions stir deep in my stomach.

“I watched.” I turned away from him, crossing my arms across the front of my body.

“What?” He went to reach for my shoulder, but hesitated.

“I watched my father shoot himself! After he told me I wasn’t his. I went almost twenty years of my life calling the wrong man Dad. To find out that not only was my family was a lie, but so was I.”

“If I could do it all differently, I would, baby girl.” His deep voice soothed something inside of me. I didn’t want to feel comfort from this man. I wanted him gone.

“Do what differently?”

“Your mom was married to him, not by fate or love, but by force and family tradition. Rosalie met Vince when they were teenagers. Your Grandfather was riding with the Condemned Angels, and his daughter Rosalie had her future already planned for her, to bring in the next generation. Vince and I, we rode together plenty of times, chased tail, killed for one another, hell- he was my brother through patch. I was a part of a chapter that used to run with the CA’s. When I caught the eye of Rosalie, she caught the eye of Vince.”

“Go on,” I encouraged him.

“Her future was already in the hands of the Condemned Angels MC, there wasn’t anything I could do. I watched as he honed in on her, and slowly stole her from me. Even when she was his Old Lady, it didn’t stop our young love. We had an ongoing affair. You were a product of it, simple as that.” He took out a skinny cigar from the pocket of his vest.

“Your Granddad was no idiot, he warned Vince of mine and Rosalie’s friendship. That he didn’t trust my actions, my respect, or myself for that matter. It was an unspoken forbidden territory.”

“How long was it going on for?” I sat down on the bed, cross-legged, facing him.

“During their marriage- the first year or so. Then all of sudden, Rosalie didn’t talk to me for weeks. Weeks grew into months. Until one day I got a letter. She told me she was pregnant, the baby was mine, and she needed to do what was right for her. She needed to be safe and keep the MC and Kit happy, and I should move on with my life.

“But you didn’t.”

“I couldn’t. Seeing her with him, fucking killed me. When I didn’t hear from Rosalie for those couple of months, then to find out she was having you, it changed the game- for me at least. I was going to keep fighting for her. For our love. For our child. You. So I wrote her back, saying I wanted to know everything, be involved and know my child. A few days went by, I thought I had truly lost her, but then she wrote me back. And so, we became pen pals. I had Rosalie, one way or another- but in those letters, she gave me everything. Her thoughts, fears, dreams, desires, everything. You name it- we wrote it.”

“Eventually you moved on and had another family.”

“I did. I met Jade shortly after your mom married Vincent. Ryder was only a few months older than you. I had to go on living my life, Nicole. I couldn’t make it obvious that I was back and forth with your mother. Christ, I would have been stripped of my patch and killed right on the spot if Kit knew what was going on.”

“Well, he took his anger and hate out on her.” Hot tears rolled down my face. The pained look on his face said it all.

“Fucking Christ.” He drew in a drag from his cigar and ran his thumbnail across his lip.

“So, the feud between the Devils and the Condemned Angels…” I trailed off.

“It’s because of you, baby girl.” Tears blurred my vision. This was overwhelming; I couldn’t handle all this shit in one night.

“Can I be alone?”

“Yes, but don’t think this conversation is over.” He stood up.

“That’s fine, but keep your son away from me. I’m not into incest.”

“What?”  Kit’s voice boomed throughout the room.

“In case you’ve been blind, Eva isn’t the only one who is keeping Jax’s bed warm at night.”

“Jesus Christ! He won’t be laying a fucking finger on you.”

“Too late.” I avoided eye contact with him.

Without another word, Kit left me.