Reckless Abandon (5 page)

“We don’t have to talk about it. I don’t really want to get into it right now.” The main door opens and closes. “That’ll be Monica. Do you guys have a spare office we can use to prep for the meeting?”

“Of course, I’ll show you.”

I head for the door as she slides back from her desk. We step over the threshold and turn to greet Monica. Only, it’s not Monica.

It’s Bo.

I don’t know if that gasp was audible as I take one step back. Rae turns left, looks between Bo and me, retreats to her office and shuts the door.

Traitor.

“November. Hi. You’re early ...” A bright-eyed smile escapes him as his hand reaches up and grips my shoulder.

I’m frozen. My tongue is twice its size, and cement seeps down my throat. Seeming to sense his breach in boundaries, Bo lifts his suddenly sweaty palm from my shoulder and glides it into his pocket.

Say something.

“Hi. I was just checking in with Rachel.” My eyes want to study the floor, but I don’t let them. I swallow hard and continue, “I was hoping you’d be here a little earlier so we could talk before the meeting.” I check my cell. “It looks like we’re running out of time.” My heart is racing so fast I feel like I have to run to keep up with it.

“No, we have time. Come with me.” I think he’s going to take me to his office; instead, he grabs my hand and heads to the back of the building. I tug my hand away before I can assess its sensation as he opens the far exit door. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

Bo steps outside and holds the door for me as I step onto a grassy lawn facing a thick tree line. He walks around the corner and leans his shoulder against the brick building, crossing his arms in front of him. My heart searches for an escape. We’re outside, so anywhere will do, but my pride roots her feet in place. I’m not going anywhere. I mimic his position as the foundation in my throat begins to crumble under threatening tears.

I allow myself a second to finally look into his eyes. They’re tired. He looks pale, but put together. Too many feelings pulse through me at once, and I can’t sort them out. The last time I saw his face, I was screaming at him. A few hours before that, I was kissing him. The thought of his kiss threatens to seal my throat again. I look over his shoulder when I start speaking.

“I don’t want today to be weird,” I start with a shaky cadence. “I mean, I know everyone knows everything, and whatever, but this project is really important to both organizations and I don’t want to screw it up.” I hug my torso and scan the grass.

“November ...” As soon as his voice hits my eardrums, my vision blurs with tears. If I blink, it’s all over. I look to the sky and silently beg for a downpour. Bo takes one step forward and deliberately, but gently, places his hand back on my shoulder.

“Don’t.” I turn my back to him in time for the tears to stream wildly down my cheeks. I purse my lips tightly to prevent a sob from giving me away. In record time, my shoulders shake in response to the sheer amount of tears they’re releasing.

“Ember, please don’t cry. Damn it. Please,
please
don’t cry.” Bo doesn’t raise his voice as he crosses in front of me and takes both of my shoulders in his hands. I tilt my head to the side and rest it on the cold brick, not meeting his eyes.

“Can I just...just have a minute?” My voice is reaching a weird octave and I’m straining to form words. This is an ugly cry. The kind saved for the bathtub or a best friend’s bedroom. This is not acceptable. I take a few deep breaths through my mouth and start dragging my fingers under my eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Ember. I was such an ass. I tried calling you. I stopped myself from showing up at your house, and I thought about not coming today. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. You have to believe me when I tell you I never meant for you to get hurt ...” He trails off as I shift and press my forehead against the building. He knows I’m about to bail, that’s why he’s speaking so fast. He wants to get it all out before I shut him down. I simply shake my head without turning around.

After a few seconds of silence, I hear the door shut and I look over my shoulder. He’s gone. I sink to the soft ground and bury my head into my knees. I just need another minute of this and I should be good. After a few minutes, the door opens again, but I don’t look up. A small hand brushes the hair away from my face and tucks it behind my ear.

Monica.

I look up and find her kneeling beside me, her eyes brimming with understanding and no judgment.

“I brought makeup,” she states plainly.

Breaking into soft laughter, I let her lead me up from the ground. “Thanks. You’re the best.” She opens the door and I hesitate.

“He’s gone. I stayed in my car until I saw him leave. Rachel’s in the meeting room. I met her in the hallway and she pointed me out the back door. She’s awesome. We’ve gotta hang on to her.” Monica smiles as we head into the bathroom.

I take several deep breaths as I touch up my makeup, and pray the remaining red splotches leave my face by the time the meeting starts.

“Do we have a few minutes to get our shit together in a spare office?” I ask Monica as we head out of the bathroom.

“Yeah, I brought our stuff in there. Follow me.”

We spend ten minutes preparing our notes before heading to the large meeting room. I see David Bryson, Carrie, Rachel, and what I assume is the legal team—including Adrian. Carrie and David carry on a quiet conversation, Rachel randomly shuffles papers, and Adrian watches my every movement until I meet his stare dead on. I give him a nod and a smile, but his smirk tells me he doesn’t buy it. We’ll be talking about this later.

The meeting goes smoothly. I don’t have to say much, since Carrie and David do most of the talking; and David and I have already met, so he knows what I do. David directs our attention to the legal team, who formally present the contracts we’ve all already gone through. It’s the first time I’ve seen Adrian on the job. I like it, he seems proud. He should be, he has an incredible game face that wouldn’t lead anyone to believe he knows anything about the giant elephants flying through the room. It’s decided that Monica, Carrie, and I will spend three days a week in Concord helping to develop and open the new DROP community center.

“This is the center Spencer plans to equip with a music studio ...” David’s voice is drowned out by the memory of that very conversation Bo and I had when he first drove me around Concord. I like that David calls him Spencer. I catch Rae and Adrian staring at me, each seemingly unaware of the other, and I refocus my attention on David.

When all the contracts are signed, David speaks again. “I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Adrian Turner, a contracted member of our legal team, for aiding in the success of this collaboration. I wish we could pay you enough to stay on full time, Adrian. We’re sorry to see you go. It’s been a real pleasure working with you.”

Adrian nods and starts a speech of thanks.

I’m trying to listen to him when Monica nudges my arm and slides me a note. It reads, “I’m going to kill you for not telling me.” I stifle a laugh and shrug in response. She kicks me under the table.

As people file out of the meeting room, I’m overcome with a twinge of guilt for what happened between Bo and me outside. I really wanted to talk things out with him boundary wise, but seeing his face and
those eyes
made it impossible. He respected me enough in my moment of tears to leave me alone, but I can’t leave Concord without another go at it. I thumb through my phone to the last time he called and text the number.

Me: Meeting’s over. Can we talk somewhere private?

Bo: Yes. Meet me at Les’s Diner. It’s on Main.

Me: Be there in ten.

“I didn’t know you were planning on leaving DROP, Adrian.” Monica’s voice pulls me away from my phone. It’s seductively accusing.

He shakes his head and shoves papers into his leather messenger bag. “Get that grin off your face, Mon. Like I’d stay here after all that ...”

“Uh huh ...” Monica’s grin elicits an eye roll from Adrian. “Ready, Em? We’ve gotta get back home so you can practice for the show tomorrow.”

Adrian’s brow furrows. “Won’t all of that singing and playing stuff just remind you of Cavanaugh?”

While he has a decent point for a guy, it annoys me—especially since I already told him about the band and the show. “You know what, Adrian? Maybe. If I sing and play it will be because of him in some way; but if I stop it will be all because of him. I like it, so I’m going to keep doing it.” I take a careful pause before turning to Monica. “We’ve got to head to Les’s Diner on Main first. I’m giving my chat with Bo another try.”

“What?” Adrian spits out as Monica’s eyes widen.

“Mon, can you give us just a minute?” I ask, one peg below pleading.

“Yep.” With raised eyebrows she leaves the room, but not before giving Adrian a careful once over.

Adrian paces toward me and then leans against the table a few inches from my body. “You talked to him already today?”

“We tried. I cried all over the brick wall ...” I sigh, and in an instant Adrian’s hand is on top of mine.

“You don’t
have
to do this, you know. You don’t have to talk to him right now.” He squeezes my hand.

“I do. I’ll be spending half of every week up here from now until god-knows-when. Even if I’m not going to be working with him d
irectly, I’m still in his friggin building. We need to set boundaries.”

Wow. That sounded professional.

“I’ll come with you.” Adrian interlaces his fingers with mine as we walk to the door and I don’t pull it away. My own reaction confuses me.

“Adrian, please.” I roll my eyes. “It’s fine. It’s just a diner, and no matter what he was trying to talk to me about earlier—it can’t happen.” I recall the hope in Bo’s eyes when he first saw me in the hall.

“You’re right. Sorry. I’ll be there tomorrow, OK?” His tone is brighter.

“Of course. See you then. Have a safe drive home.” I squeeze his hand once before pulling mine away.

He heads down to the back offices as I turn for the door. Rachel is standing in the hall a short distance from where Adrian and I were talking. I briefly wonder if she saw anything, and then realize it doesn’t really matter. I wave politely and head for Monica’s car. We head to Les’s Diner without a single word passing between us.

Chapter Five

Monica parks in front of Les’s Diner and both of our heads turn to Bo’s car, which sits empty. He’s inside already.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Adrian leaving DROP?” She asks as I unbuckle my seatbelt.

“Why do you assume I knew?”

“Because you didn’t so much as bat an eyelash when they said goodbye to him.”

I sigh. “Monica, he told me on Wednesday when we had dinner. He knows I’m not the ‘surprise’ kind of girl these days.”

Understanding spreads across her face. “Just don’t be into him because you’re trying to get away from Bo.”

“You’re awfully bossy the last few days. Give it a rest. Are you coming inside or staying out here?” I change the subject as I exit the car.

Monica chuckles and shakes her head, giving me a mocking look as she kills the engine and crosses her arms. Given her fiery temper, she’s been quiet about the ‘Bo situation,’ as she’s come to call it. I’m sure it has more to do with the fact that she doesn’t have all the details because, well, neither do I.

“Thanks,” I mumble as I get out and shut the door.

Steam from greasy cheeseburgers assaults my nostrils as soon as I open the door. I pretend to scan the restaurant, but I spot him before the door closes. Bo Cavanaugh stands out in any room he’s in. He nods as soon as I let my eyes meet his, and I head to the table. There’s a glass of water with lime waiting for me and an internal smile allows me to acknowledge his thoughtfulness. He pushes back from the table and crosses to my chair, pulling it out for me as I reach the seat.

“Thank you.” Sandalwood still trickles through his pores. I have to close my eyes for a second and breathe through my mouth to regain my equilibrium.

“How’d the meeting go?” he asks as he sits back in his chair. His smile is present, but his voice is distant.

“Fine, the ink’s drying as we speak. We’ll be up here three days a week until the project is complete.” I chuckle. “Though, I suppose you knew that since your signature was already on all of the contracts...and it’s your organization.” I roll my straw between my thumb and index finger, watching the ice bob around the limes.

His heavy sigh pulls my eyes upward. “November—”

“I’m sorry about what happened this morning,” I cut him off. “I just ...” I pause to breathe and slow myself down, preventing a ramble.

“No, it’s OK. I was surprised to see you. Honestly, I hoped that I would but—”

“You hoped you would? You said you wouldn’t even be at the meeting
...”  Oops.  He wasn’t supposed to know I saw the email.
“Carrie told us it would just be David and Rae,” I add in quickly.

“I thought I should try to avoid you at first because I was scared of hurting you again. Then I made you cry anyway ...” As he trails off, he reaches across the table and grabs my hand. His heat travels to my heart and a million memories of his touch flash through my brain. I pull my hand away and anchor it on my lap before my resolve passes out.