Reckless Karma (Sinners & Saints #2) (25 page)

SCARLETT

I
told the doorman to let him up and I left the door open for him to storm in.

           
And
so he does storm in. I hear the harsh sound of his feet coming towards me. I’m
in Rebecca’s room standing and waiting, hoping for a very splendid spectacle.

           
He
almost passes the room, taking a second look at me before coming in.

           
“Hello,”
I say.

           
“You
fucking psychotic bitch.” He comes towards me.

           
“Are
you talking about that little accident today? It was child’s play.”

           
“Are
you really that fucked up in the head?”

           
“I
thought that’s what you loved about me.”

           
“I’m
not kidding, Scarlett!” he yells in my face.

           
“Neither
am I… you people still have yet to understand that. In this situation, Hugo,
let’s just say that you are the uniformed cop stuffing yourself with donuts and
whiskey and I?” I step towards him meeting his eyes. “I am the CIA… I do what I
want. I get what I want. I am God.”

           
He
grabs me by the arms, digging his fingers into me, and pushes me back until I
am slammed against the wall. It definitely hurts, but in a very pleasurable
way. I laugh at the unrecognizable eyes filled with hate and the need to kill.

           
“Well,
this is definitely Déjà vu,” I laugh off. “But the first time this happened
Gabriel had his hand around my throat… and I think I enjoyed that better.”

           
“I’m
gonna do more to you if you don’t stop. You come near my family again… I swear
to God I will kill you. I will kill you and gladly condemn myself to a cell.”

           
“Or
you can just kill yourself like Gabriel did.” He yanks me towards him and slams
me again on the wall. “Now that’s gonna leave a mark. Which is good for me.
I’ll need evidence when I tell the police you came and attacked me.”

           
“You
forgot I found your box.”

           
“A
box that doesn’t trace back to me.”

           
“A
box that isn’t even the original. I know Gabriel took it. Didn’t he? He took
it.”

           
“Yes,
he did. And the whereabouts of it died with him, but I suppose I understand
why. After all if that box got out… everyone would know the truth about your
mother.”

           
“What
the fuck are you talking about? Tell me.”

           
“No…
I’d rather you spend your whole life not knowing, mentally killing yourself on
not knowing. Hell, maybe deep down you do know. I always thought deep down
Gabriel knew. I bet maybe even August too. Gabriel always said he was the
smartest one of you all. Nobody expects the slow one to know anything.”

           
His
eyes soften and I am confused as to why. A comment like that should cause
another shove. Instead he lets me go and steps back and now I’m the one wondering
where his head is at. He looks at me and laughs. Laughs? He rubs his face,
sighing and his head turns and his eyes stop and now I’m happy again. He picks
up the picture of a passed out Rebecca and frowns. He shakes his head.

           
“One
day… all that pain you inflict will literally hit you back, and when it does, I
will be there.”

           
“Interesting
theory. Until then let’s just keep this going the way it should be going.”

           
“Where’s
Rebecca?”

           
“My
guess is on the rooftop trying to figure out if she should kill herself or
not.”

           
His
face falls and he begins to run out. “Don’t forget, Hugo. You’re not good at
stopping women from falling.”

           
I
can see the doubt on his face. The confusion about what he thinks he is doing.
Hugo’s no hero. He’s not even the villain anymore. He’s just another extra. He
leaves and I check the time on my watch. I called Patrick and told him to get
here. Hugo’s gone mad. Rebecca is in trouble. Blah blah blah. Hopefully this
night ends in bloodshed.

HUGO

           
It’s
like Déjà vu. When I arrive it is hard to separate the women. I see two people
on this ledge right now, Rebecca and my mother, and I don’t know which one to
save and right now I feel like the little boy who watched his mother jump off a
balcony and now I’m here again. A man hoping to stop a fifteen-year-old girl
from falling to the same demise.

           
“Rebecca,”
I say and slowly I walk towards her.

           
Her
head turns and she stumbles a bit. “What do you want?” she quickly asks me. Her
body is trembling.

           
My
heart is about to burst through my chest, but I have to stay cool. I have to be
me, so I pull out my gold cigarette case and light one. She looks at me
confused, too busy wondering why I’m so nonchalant to think of jumping.

           
“What
are you doing besides standing on the ledge of a very, very tall building?”

           
She
faces the ground again. I inhale and exhale as she wraps her grey cardigan
around herself. Her green pajama bottoms are rolled up to her knees and she
doesn’t have on any shoes.

           
“At
least my mother was well dressed when she dropped,” I say and her head faces me
again.

           
“What
did you just say to me?”

           
“Jewelry,
white dress, hair done. She was determined to jump. You don’t even seem like
you showered.”

           
“Wow…
you really are an asshole.”

           
“Yes.
I am.”

           
“This
is what you wanted, right? You told me! It’s my fault. I wanted it!”

           
She
thinks I sent the picture. Of course Scarlett has set this course. I’m pretty
sure Golden boy fiancé is on his way and she can’t wait. If Rebecca jumps, Scarlett
will pick up the pieces and Patrick will be entirely devoted to her.

           
“I’m
sorry.” I say what I should’ve said a long time ago.

           
“You’re
sorry?! Sorry for what? Sleeping with me or making fun of me or sending me that
picture? For what?!” The more she yells, the closer she is to falling by
fucking accident.

           
“For
everything,” I truthfully say and begin to walk closer. “I’m sorry that I
wasn’t the one who came that night when you and Scarlett were alone. Because if
I was there… you wouldn’t of been victimized and treated horribly like you
were. I’m sorry that when you came to me and asked me what happened that night…
that out of this spite and hatred for Scarlett I just made it worse for you.
The unfavorable truth I gave you made me no better than the woman who prides
herself in hurting others. Made me no better than your mother who might love
you but unfortunately just like my mother… they just couldn’t love us past
their bullshit. It wasn’t your fault. You’re a girl who deserves nothing like
the way you have been treated by us.”

           
Harsh
laughter comes out of her. “You really expect me to believe that you of all
people really came up here to give me some bullshit speech on how I’m better
than this? How do you know anything? You don’t know anything! You don’t know
what it’s like. To do what you’re told and to have to question yourself
everyday about how your life is going to work out… I feel like every day my
life becomes more and more of a hole of nothing but shit and I’m drowning in
shit!”

           
“That’s
a disgusting visual… but I can understand that.” I put out my cigarette and
walk closer.

           
“Don’t
come near me! If you do, I will definitely jump.”

           
“Then
what? ... Your mother will slowly deteriorate in guilt and despair… her life
will become nothing but if onlys. If only she had just talked to you herself.
And your brothers? Patrick? He needs you. I once thought about killing myself.
I’ve never told anyone that. I was ten. Ten years old and I wanted to die
because I thought my life would be just as miserable as the people around me,
but my brothers needed me. My brother August needed me. Rebecca, I’m not a hero
or a good person. I’m just someone who once saw his mother give up and whose
brother did the same thing and I’m just… I’m just tired of people dying on me
by choice. Cancer, car accident
—
give me anything besides the choice to die
willingly.”

           
“My
family is tearing apart because of me.”

           
“No.”
She doesn’t notice I’m close until I gently touch her hand. “Your family is
tearing apart because… that’s what families do from time to time. You can
either fix it or you could just add to the shit like I’ve been doing for the
past seven years.” I step on the ledge next her, holding on to her hand. She
looks at me shocked and I peek down and my fear of heights resurfaces. “I’m a
little dizzy up here, so how about either we fly together or we fall back into
reality. The latter maybe painful… but it’s worth it.”

           
She
sucks in a breath, her jaw clenched, looking at me and she exhales. “You really
believe that? The pain is worth it?”

           
“Not
to be typical… but there’s a woman who loves me for a reason I will never
really know. So I’m close to believing it’s worth it. When it’s confirmed, I
would really like to tell you… if you’re still here.”

           
She
nods and sniffs and that’s all I need to step back off the ledge and bring her
with me. She wraps her arms around me and I do the same for her. She cries and
I give her the escape she is looking for. Someone to just hold her. To take in
the pain and I feel it transfer into me and it is harrowing… but in this moment
worth it.

           
“Rebecca!”
I hear her brother screaming and coming up the stairs with most likely company.
I step back and she wipes her tears, the longing for my arms in her face.

           
“Hurry
up. Go,” she says. I quickly run towards the wall beside the door and hide once
Patrick and security come out.

           
“Are
you okay?!” Patrick asks his little sister once I sneak through the exit.

JORDANA

“I
can’t believe she left,” I say passing the joint to Ms. Eleanor.

           
“We
all face our demons in our own way,” she says before coughing out the smoke.
“Excuse me, darling.”

           
“But
without telling Hugo?”

           
“Jordana
darling, even the most selfless angels have moments of selfish actions. It is
only because of pain and fear. My dear Juliet is in pain and in guilt. The
death of her beloved friend, a girl whose life was impacted by a decision
orchestrated by Juliet and those around her has caused great grief and guilt in
Juliet. She has found love and happiness and the other has gone but above our
heads.”

           
“I
guess I can understand and she doesn’t want to be in the way of Hugo’s revenge.
She doesn’t want him to take care of him and her.”

           
“The
heart is a very indecisive organ.”

           
The
doorbell rings and neither of us bother with it.

           
“I
got it,” I hear Cody say.

           
“Ms.
Eleanor?” I get candid with her. “Do you think true love is a manipulation
created by the devil? If there is one?”

           
I’m
referring to my own love life given everyone else’s is just not going so great.
No one’s relationship is worth having. Not my parents. Not Hugo’s and Juliet’s.
Certainly not Gabriel and Karlie’s. Cody and Anika’s is just weird because it’s
Cody.

           
“My
dear, true love is one of the many splendid things created by no devil. You
just have to
—
what’s the clear words you young people say?” She
thinks to herself. “Get over your shit.”

           
I
smile at the crazed and annoying and wonderful woman who, no offence to my mom,
has probably given me more wisdom and nurturing than her.

           
“Uh
Jordana?” I lift my head from the couch and freeze mid-turn once I see who is
standing next to him.