Reckless Karma (Sinners & Saints #2) (27 page)

           
“Then
let’s go away. Get out of here. Take a vacation. I love you and I don’t want
you to be this hurt.”

           
“That
sounds good.” He sadly smiles. “Next week maybe… go to St. Barts? Get on a
boat?”

           
I
smile. “Yeah.”

           
A
boat with Patrick sounds a bit stifling, but well worth it if it keeps him
mine.

17

JULIET

“How
dare they
?!
” my mum snaps as we watch my little
brother Gregor play in the yard. “To forbid my daughter to go to the funeral.”

           
“Jessica,
sweetheart. There’s no helping when fussing,” my dad says.

           
“Charles,
they have disrespected our family. Juliet was more of a friend to their
daughter than anyone.”

           
“It
was out of guilt,” I say to myself. “Mum.” I speak up louder. “Mum, just leave
it be. It’s okay. I hate funerals anyway. I don’t blame them.”

           
“What
happened to that poor girl was not your fault.”

           
“Your
mother’s right, rabbit.” My dad gives me that reassuring smile that does
nothing for me right now. “You need to stop beating yourself.”

           
“I’m
not,” I come to my defense.

           
“Really?
Well then why did you come all the way out here without telling your new
boyfriend?”

           
“I’m
glad you said it,” my mum chimes in. “Yes, he has a vulgar reputation, but he
is a Voncliff for Christ’s sakes. You’ve finally done well for yourself and now
you will ruin it behaving in a rude matter.”

           
“Seriously,
Mum? And Dad how do you know I didn’t tell him I was coming?”

           
“Well,
I hope you didn’t because if you did tell him and he did not come with you then
he doesn’t love you. No one lets someone they love grieve alone or thousands of
miles away.”

           
“It’s
not that simple, Dad. He has enough on his plate already. Trust me.”

           
“Rabbit,
nothing is simple. That’s why you have the ones you love with you.”

           
I
don’t bother arguing anymore. I stand up from my chair and step on the grass
from the patio. Gregor kicks the ball into his net.

           
“Good
kick, Gregor!” I yell and he smiles at me. His long dark brown hair covering
his green eyes. He pushes it out of his face. He squints his eyes my way and
looks confused. He points and I wonder which one of us he’s pointing at.

           
“Who’s
that?!” he yells. I turn around and someone is standing by the white gate on
the side of the house. Someone I didn’t expect to see. He’s standing there with
a black leather duffle bag in his hand, a white shirt and black jeans and black
blazer on. His sunglasses on until he takes them off. I wonder if I’m dreaming
for a bit as I walk over to him. The closer I get, the more I realize I’m not.
The more my heart beats and the more frustrated and excited I am that he’s
here. Why is he here?

           
Because
he loves you, you bloody idiot.

           
“Hi,”
I say.

           
One
blue, one green pierced in me with pain, anger, love.

           
“Hi,”
he says back.

           
“Hi,”
I laugh. “I already said that.”

           
“Yes,
you did.”

           
“Well,
this is a pleasant surprise.” My dad sneaks up beside me. He opens the gate.
“Come in. Come.” Hugo graciously walks past me and my mother doesn’t give him
any breathing room. She hugs him and my mum does not hug.

           
“Your
mother doesn’t hug,” my dad whispers.

           
“Apparently
she’s come undone.”

           
Hugo
awkwardly hugs her back.

           
“It
is so lovely to finally meet you, Mr. Mandrake.”

           
“Thank
you, Mrs. Spears. It’s very wonderful to meet you too.”

           
“Oh,
please call me Jessica.”

           
I
roll my eyes.

           
Hugo
faces my father and shakes his hand. “Sir, I’m honored to meet you as well.
Juliet speaks in high regard of you.” He sticks out his hand and my dad
welcomes it.

           
“Well
thank you, son. She too speaks in high regard of you.”

           
“Dad,
don’t tell him that,” I say and he laughs.

           
“Just
telling him what he already knows.”

           
“Yes.
Juliet likes to keep a lot of things from me.” Hugo forces a smile in my
direction. He is pissed.

           
“I’m
Gregor,” my little brother says looking up at Hugo.

           
“Hi
Gregor. I’m Hugo. You got a good kick out there.”

           
“You
want to play?”

           
“I
was never really much for sports, but maybe you could teach me.”

           
“Okay!”
Gregor excitedly runs to the net and Hugo sits his things down on the lounge
chair.

           
“I’ll
have Sophie fix us something lovely and bring you a cup of tea,” my mum says
still excited.

           
Hugo
goes out to the yard with my little brother and my hand covers my heart,
smiling.

           
“See
I told you,” my dad says placing his arm around me. “I’m glad the boy loves you
too. Someone’s got to.”

KARLIE

I’m
sitting at the kitchen table still staring at the DVD as I drink my coffee.
Forget about the box, this is my Pandora. Watching the DVD means something. It
means so much and I’m too scared.

           
“You
know there’s a device you could put that in, right?” I laugh at my mom.

           
“I
know, ma.”

           
She
comes and sits next to me. “You have to stop,” she tells me, combing her
fingers through my hair. “You have to stop this torture, baby girl.”

           
“I
know.”

           
“That
boy wasn’t good enough for you.”

           
“Ma.”
I get annoyed when she does this.

           
“The
only good thing he did for you was give you two beautiful children.”

           
“Ma,
I know you will never be fond of him, but…”

           
“But
he was your first love… but he doesn’t have to be your only.”

           
I
ball my hand into a fist and bring it to my mouth.

           
“I
know.”

           
“I
love you… and I’m proud of you. When everything happened, I felt like such a
failure as a mother.”

           
I
look at my mother, appalled she would say something like that.

           
“What?”

           
“I
didn’t protect you.”

           
“Yes,
you did.”

           
“I
chose to send you away. I should’ve fought for you.”

           
“Ma.
They threatened everything. They threatened to have us kicked out of our
apartment that was owned by a friend of theirs, of course. They threatened to
get you fired and to just ruin our lives and I begged you to let it go, Ma. I
begged you. I never want you to think this was your fault.”

           
“Baby,
there is always more a mother can do.” She kisses me on the forehead. “Remember
that. I love you and I’m proud of you. You are a good woman. Remember that.”

           
She
leaves and it continues to be about me and this disc. It continues to be about
me and Gabriel. It’s always about me and Gabriel. Hell, I’m even tired of
hearing myself saying that. I groan and grab the disc and shove it into the
kitchen drawer along with the forks. Why forks? It was just the drawer that was
the closest.

JULIET

“You
really didn’t need to get a room here,” I say to Hugo after he’s checked into
the Shrangri La Hotel at the Shard. “It’s practically an hour away from my home
which had plenty of rooms. My parents were more than happy for you to stay
there. Hell, even Gregor wanted you to sleep in his top bunk.” I laugh but he
doesn’t. He just sets his stuff down and takes off his blazer as I sit on his
bed. He crosses his arms over his chest and just looks at me.

           
“Soooo.
Yeah, you could’ve stayed there.” I just say something.

           
“I
figured they wouldn’t want to hear us argue.”

           
“So
we are going to argue?”

           
“Yes.”

           
“About?”
I smile like an idiot.

           
“About
the fact that you are an idiot. An asshole. An idiot.”

           
“I
agree with all three, no matter how repetitive.”

           
“Don’t
make a joke of this.”

           
“It’s
my defense mechanism. So Jordana texted me and filled me in on the kids. I’m
glad they’re okay. Scarlett is insane.”

           
“Rebecca
tried to kill herself.”

           
“Yes,
and you saved her.”

           
“Yes,
and you ran.”

           
“No,
I didn’t.”

           
“Yes,
you did.”

           
“Listen,
I’m not going to argue about this, Hugo.” I get up from the bed and walk over
to the window of the suite that faces London and all its beauty in the night.

           
“So
it’s okay for you to push me but not for me to push you,” he fires back.

           
“Well,
I’m a hypocrite.”

           
“That’s
right you are.”

           
“I’m
not gonna explain why I left. I’m just gonna say I’m sorry and that I was
coming back.”

           
“You
don’t need to explain. I know already.” He shakes his head in frustration. He
paces the room. Walks to one corner then the other. It’s like he’s suddenly
developed a case of OCD.

           
“You
needed me, I know,” I say.

           
“Damn
it, Juliet! No!” he shouts. “It’s about you needing me!” He claws at his chest.
“This was your karma. The pain and guilt you feel for her death. This is your
karma. You anticipated, hell you prepared for it! You pledged to yourself long
ago that when the time came you would diminish every ounce of happiness you
earned. I knew from the moment I found out about what happened. You just
completely shut down and ran because you feel you owe it to her. You don’t. You
don’t owe her misery. If anything you owe her the opposite because you are
still here. I know you, Juliet. You pride yourself on being different and
living your life to the fullest until you are asked to pay your debt. I’m angry
at you for being weak like that because that is not you. I’m angry at you for
not telling me. For not asking me to come with you because you shouldn’t even
be shocked that I’m here. I love you. I love you with everything in me.”

           
“She’s…”
I try to keep my lip from trembling. “She’s supposed to be alive. I’m the one
that pushed her. I kept pushing and pushing all because of something stupid and
she jumped.” My voice cracks beneath the truth. “I killed her slowly and I
still don’t understand why she forgave me. I still don’t understand why she was
my friend… my best friend. Why every time I needed someone she was there for
me. Why?”

           
“Why
not? We’re all fucked up, Juliet. Every person in this world is fucked up. We
are the evidence of that.” His hands clasped around my face as I cry. One blue.
One green. Gazing into mine forcing me to see beyond the dread. “And if you’re
scared of karma, well I can promise you I will fight the bitch back with you.”

           
I
can’t help but laugh and he sadly smiles. “You can’t use my words against me,”
I say.

           
“Yes,
I can. You can save me but I can’t save you? That’s not fair.”

           
“Life’s
not fair and we’re not supposed to save each other.”

           
“No…
we’re supposed to save ourselves… but it doesn’t hurt to help each other out,
right?”