Reckless Karma (Sinners & Saints #2) (29 page)

           
“Gabriel
what’s wrong?”

           
“What’s
wrong?” I laugh in a way I have never laughed before. It’s filled with pain and
anger and I feel like my heart is running out of beats. It can’t beat anymore,
not when I know all of this.

           
“This
is the root,” I mumble.

           
“The
what?”

           
“You
did those things to my mother. Those… disgusting things.” It slides out my
teeth like poison. Venom fills my veins and I am left with nothing more but the
sting from it. “You really thought I was like you? That I could do that?!”

           
He
holds his hands up and he’s afraid. He’s afraid
—
the laughter comes
pouring out of me. How could he be afraid when he is the monster?

           
“My
mother was ill. She hated herself. She hated her life! She slowly died on the
inside for years! Begging someone to help her! No one would. You destroyed her!
You killed her! You ruined me! You ruined my brothers!”

           
“No!
Your mother was ill, yes, but that was her. I had nothing to do with that.
You’re my family.”

           
“How
could you touch your fucking family, you sick fuck!” I grab him by the shirt
and pull him from the chair. His lifeless legs weigh him down and I throw him
on the floor.

           
“Gabriel
stop!” he begs.

           
I
ball my fists and I prepare to beat his face. I punch him over and over and
over again. The blood becomes normal to me as his spills from his face. He
continues begging and screaming, but no one comes to help him just like no one
came to save my mother.

           
The
punching isn’t enough. It isn’t taking away the pain. It’s not enough. It’s not
enough. I look around the living room and the lit fireplace gains my attention
and more importantly it leads me to the fire poker. I walk over to it and
snatch it up. I walk back over to him and stare at his helpless body.

           
“Gabriel…
please!” he cries out. All the begging and pleading only makes me angrier and
then I think about my mother. And then I think of Karlie. It’s all his fault.
If he hadn’t of did what he did, my mother would still be alive and I wouldn’t
have been sent to live with Ms. Eleanor and maybe I would’ve been a better
person when I met Karlie. Or maybe I wouldn’t have met her and she would be
safe. Safe just like mother would be if this piece of shit hadn’t degraded her.
Hugo wouldn’t have seen her jump and I… I don’t know
—
I
just want it all to end!

           
I
raise the fire poker with both hands over my head.

           
“Gabriel.
No!”

           
“Shut
up!” I scream and strike him with the poker over and over again until I can’t
recognize his face anymore.

HUGO

           
There
is an echoing silence and when someone finally speaks up, it’s loud and painful
in my ears.

           
“Well,
I’ve seen fucked up things in my day… but that by far was definitely the most
fucked,” Jordana says and I think everyone agrees.

           
We
didn’t watch the videos fully. Just enough to see. Each one started with a
child or a teenager in a bedroom. Each one scared and alone until someone
walked in and that person who walked in was always recognizable to us. They are
well known. Well respected. Well powerful. They’d talk to the scared prey.
They’d speak sweet and kind. They’d brush their hair back the same way I would
do with a woman. Then they would touch them where they shouldn’t and that’s
when we would stop the videos.

“One
of the men in those videos has even ran for President,” Cody chokes out.

“Thank
God he lost,” Anika says.

“I
don’t want to see anymore, guys,” Poppy says and holds on to Jaz.
   

“I
agree,” Margaret Jacobs says.

“There’s
one more,” Karlie says. “The white one. Play the white one.”

Cody
does as she says grabbing it from the box. Two folders with two names pop up.
One is Theodore Brayson. The other is Stuart Mandrake. Cody clicks on Theodore
Brayson’s. Video files with dates on them as well, but there is one in
particular that I recognize. 4-04-99. Also the date of the code. 4499.

“Click,”
I say loud enough for him to hear. He does and there she is. The blonde little
girl with big grey eyes. Except she’s not scared. She’s numb. She’s cold. She’s
not bothered by the way her father smells her hair and rubs her knee.

“Is
that?” Someone tries to get it out and all I do is answer.

“Scarlett.”

“Well…
I guess we know the root of evil,” Juliet says as Cody ends it before it goes
too far. He ventures off to my uncle’s folder. There is only one video file. No
date. Only a name.

“Hugo,”
Juliet says as my head tilts, my eyes burning into the name. I think Cody looks
back at me.

“Hugo,
I don’t think we should play that one,” Jordana says.

“This
is what Scarlett showed Gabriel to snap,” Karlie breathes out. “I agree. Hugo,
we shouldn’t.”

“You’re
right,” I say. “None of you should see it.” I pull the USB out of the drive
hard and head to my room.

“Hugo,”
Juliet says following me. Once I get to the stairs and look up, I get nauseous.
The steps seem longer than usual to me. I walk up, holding on to the banister.
I’m hot and I begin to sweat. I feel Juliet close by and all I want to do is
tell her to get away, but I can’t. I can’t speak. I can’t think. I can’t
function. I get to my room and open up my laptop, turning it on. I insert the USB
as Juliet reaches me.

“Hugo,
maybe you should wait.”

           
I
say nothing.

           
“Hugo,
you already know what’s on it. Don’t do this. Please.”

           
I
go to the file and I go the video. My finger hovers over the touch pad. For a
moment I try to force myself to reconsider. It doesn’t work so I click play.

“Boys!”

           
My
mother is in the kitchen, smiling as she lights up candles. “Boys!” she calls
again. She’s wearing this green shirt and white pants. “Is the camera on?” she
asks.

           
“Yes,
mam,” the person holding the camera says. Most likely one of our live in
nannies. Really they were hired to watch my mother.

           
“Okay.”
She smiles so bright and normal and she picks up the cake and the camera
follows as she brings it to us.

           
“Wow,
is that a cake?!” I see the younger me ask so innocently on the screen.

           
“What
is this?” Juliet asks me.

           
“It’s
my birthday,” is all I say.

           
“Gabriel
recommended chocolate,” my mother says and Gabriel smiles proudly as August and
I gaze at the birthday cake. It would be the last birthday cake she prepared
for us.

           
“You
look so happy,” Juliet says and my heart fills and begins to overflow with
every emotion until the words fall out.

           
“We
were.”

           
“Make
a wish,” my mother says and the camera zooms in on her smile. “Make a good one
too.”

           
I
did. August didn’t. He just backed away from the candles, but that didn’t
bother Mom.

           
“My…”
The tears fall as my mouth opens. “My wish was… for her to get better.”

JULIET

Here
comes the snap I predicted.

           
“What
is this?” He looks at me, questioning once the video ends. “Wh- why would this
be on it? Why isn’t anything else on it?”

           
“I
think… Hugo, I think your brother erased them… and placed this in the folder
instead.”

           
“Why?!”
he yells and I let him. He needs to shout. “Why would he do that? Why would he
do that?!” He throws his laptop on the ground not caring about the damage. “He
didn’t need to do that. What did he think, I wouldn’t be able to take it? D-Did
he think I would break down just like he did and go off and kill someone?!
Huh?!” I’m the anchor in this situation and I’m alright with that. This is it.
This is what I’ve been waiting for. Hugo Mandrake is officially breaking down.
He’s officially becoming human.

           
“I
think that’s exactly what he was doing, Hugo,” I tell him and he wipes all the
stuff from his desk. He picks up the chair and throws it across. It hits
against the wall and glass breaks from the picture frame he had and I think
that was Monet. Just a lot of shit is getting torn up right now.

           
“I
didn’t need him to do that! I didn’t need him to save me from the truth! I
needed to know.”

           
“And
now you do.”

           
“I
don’t know anything anymore.” His hands come over his head as he starts to cry.
“I needed to know…” His tone calms down and he holds on to his head as the
truth comes pouring out. He’s trying to fight it, but he can’t. “I wanted to
know…” He’s sobbing now. “I wanted to not hate her anymore.”

           
He
falls to his knees and the tears that have been inside for years come pouring
out. “She didn’t have to die. I didn’t want her to die. I loved her. I miss
her. I want my mom back, Juliet.” I drop down to my knees in front of him and I
wrap my arms around him as his head falls to my chest and the loud cry escapes
from within.

           
“I
know,” I whisper. “I know.”

           
“I
want them both back.”

           
And
I wish I could give them back to him. I wish I could make everything better for
him the same as he wished he could do for me. But we can’t. We are nothing but
human and with humans nothing is controlled. It’s all beyond measure and we
just have to deal with it. We have to survive.

           
“We
don’t need to see all that bad stuff, Hugo.” We part and look up and see August
standing over us, saddened by his brother’s outburst. I separate myself from
Hugo and let August take my place. He gets on his knees and faces his brother. For
the first time August is the one tall and clear while Hugo is confounded and
vulnerable. “Gabriel didn’t want us to see the bad stuff. You didn’t need to
see that. You’ve seen enough.”

           
August
slowly places his hands on his brother’s shoulders. He leans in and wraps
himself around Hugo, who accepts bringing his arms around him. Tugging on his
shirt, using him as an anchor. I sit back and watch the two brothers breach a
new territory in their lives. They have now found where they come from. They
have found the root of the lies and the betrayal and the heart of their
mother’s tortured soul. Hugo has found out the hatred of his mother was all for
nothing and that no matter what… he could’ve never been able to save her. He
could’ve never been able to save Gabriel… but Gabriel could save him. He could
save Hugo with the very act of keeping one door closed forever and I am
grateful to him for that.

KARLIE

These
were never the answers I wanted. Pandora’s box was literal in this situation.
They weren’t my answers. This whole time I wanted to open that box, thinking I
would get everything because destroying Scarlett was all that mattered, but so
many people have been destroyed due to us all. Due to us dwelling on our own
bullshit, not being able to see the truth. Now it’s time for me to face my
truth. So I can move on.

           
His
face appears on the screen once I press play. He is unrecognizable. Nothing
about him is vibrant or alive anymore. He is pale and drained. His cheekbones
are too narrow and his eyes hang low.

           
“Karlie.”
He says my name like it is torture for him. “If you’re watching this…” he
closes his eyes. “No. When you’re watching this… it means… it means I am one of
the fallen.” He opens his eyes and my heart stops like it used to when he would
kiss me. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. That’s the first thing I want you to
know. Everyone who resembled darkness had their hands wrapped around my throat
before you even could help me breathe again. No matter how much your light
shined on me… I was too enraptured. Too weak. I should’ve stayed with you. I
should’ve fought harder, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to. I wanted to be
sad. I wanted to condemn myself. I don’t know why. I guess I’m just like her…
and now I know why she was so sad. So sad. The things I’ve seen done to her.
You can’t unsee that. So that’s why I erased what I saw…. So Hugo doesn’t see
it. If you’re watching this, that means August has given the DVD to you along
with the box. Then again, hopefully he doesn’t because maybe the truth is just the
end to all. Leaving nothing but misery. Karlie, I hope you are living a life
full of passion and good and everything you deserve, which is greatness. I hope
you have met a man who is worthy of you. I hope you have children as beautiful
as you.” He chuckles. “You know I had a dream that you were playing with our
baby. I dreamed of a kid that we made together… and the selfish part of me is
sad to know that will never become true. But it’s all for the best. Hugo will
probably be angry at what I did… but although I know he is stronger than me… I
didn’t want to take the chance of scarring the image of the mother that is
already broken in his eyes. I love you, Karlie. I love you more than this world
and this world is no longer a place for me. Too much pain is too much to bare…
so this is my last will and testament… and I leave you with my heart. I leave
you with love… and my brothers. If you want them. I wouldn’t blame you if you
didn’t… but even through the torture you experienced… I know you’re gonna make
it and that although changed… the real you will still rise into the woman that
is strong, that is loyal, that is caring, that is you. That is someone I could
never imagine being in a world without. That world is non-existent… and I’m
gonna make sure it stays non-existent.” The determination in his eyes says
everything. I wanted it not to be true. I wanted it not to be a possibility.
“Goodbye.”