Reckless Secrets (5 page)

When I came out of the bathroom, Logan stood at the bar with a fresh drink in his hand, bent in an intimate pose over Amber. There were talking softly and animatedly. Smiling. Laughing.

I swallowed hard. Amber was the kind of woman who brought out every one of my insecurities. On top of the conversation with Jason, nearly being caught and found out by Karen, and being baited by Harlan, I wasn't sure I could survive the afternoon.
 

I debated my options, like whether I should sidle up to the bar and claim my territory. Or was it better to watch and learn? What was Logan up to? The minute I turned my back, he went after Amber? Something felt off. Maybe it was me. Maybe I simply didn't belong here.

In desperate need of consoling in cookie form, I headed to the buffet. A cobblestone bar would have been better. But do you think the university had sprung for any? A cookie would have to do. Even though I was thin, almost gaunt, I felt a momentary stab of guilt. A woman like Amber would never let a cookie cross her lips. Screw her and a society that judges a girl because she enjoys comfort food.

I grabbed a small plate and a napkin, and was just about to step around a stocky guy student with his back to me so I could get to the cookies when he suddenly turned around and faced me.
 

"Ellie? Is that you? Funny seeing you here."

I froze. My stomach clenched. I could not believe my bad, stupid luck. This day was going from bad to worse to total disaster. "Schwartz. Didn't know you had the credentials to get into a party like this."

"Funny, Ellie. Ha, ha." His breath stank of beer and garlic. He swayed slightly, like he'd already been pre-gaming a little too hard. "I'm here with my roommate and his dad who's loaded."

I nodded and reached for the cookie tongs. "Good to see you." Not. But it was the best I could do to dismiss him.

"Heard you saw my man Austin during Halloweekend."

I stared at him and gave him a narrow-eyed glare meant to warn him to back off. "Yeah." I shrugged.

"You gave him shit for too long, Ellie. Don't know why he took it." His gaze slid over me, appraising me with an insult in his look, like I was beneath him. Not worth doing.

"Back off, Schwartz. That's my private business. I don't want to talk about it."

He swayed again and bumped into the table, rattling the serving dishes.
 

"Someone should give you a breathalyzer test before they let you walk home. Bet you blow a two."

"Very funny."
 

He sneered. Schwartz had held a grudge against me since I refused to sleep with him when he came onto me at a party shortly before Austin and I had started dating. "You really think you're hot shit, don't you?" He raised his voice with every word.
 

"Stop it, Schwartz. Leave the past alone. Austin and I are good now. Keep your nose out of it." I turned to go before things got uglier. When Schwartz was hammered, there was no reasoning with him. I had never told him my side of the story. I doubted he wanted to hear it anyway. I certainly didn't want to tell it. And if I knew Austin, he'd told a tale that made himself look good.

But Schwartz wouldn't let it drop. He grabbed me by the elbow. "You think you're so high and mighty. Regents' scholar. Dating a rich boy. You're nothing. Just a little cock tease.

"Austin said your mom was a much better lay than you. Hotter, too. He should have done your old lady again and forgotten about you." His voice had risen to a yell, an angry bellow.

The crowd of people around us went silent. My face flamed. At the bar, which wasn't more than fifteen feet away, Logan turned to stare at us. From his expression, I knew he'd heard every word. Everyone had. His was jaw set. His eyes were hard.
 

He stormed over. Without saying a word, he slammed Schwartz with a right hook that sent him staggering back into the buffet table. Dishes rattled. He landed on his ass in the plate of cookies, crushing them to crumbs. The coffeepot at the end of the table tipped over, soaking the white tablecloth.
 

I screamed. "Stop! Stop it."

Schwartz let out a roar and hurled profanities at Logan as he struggled to his feet to fight back, knocking over more dishes. Sending the pitcher of cream next to the coffeepot tipping over.

The scar on my left cheek pounded as if it were a fresh wound again. I grabbed Logan's arm as he cocked it to swing again. "Logan, don't. No! Please."

Chapter Three

The crowded room around me disappeared, replaced with images of coming home from college to do my laundry. Walking in on Mom and Austin. The images flashed before me again with exactly the same horrifying power, in exactly the same sequence as they always did. So fresh it felt like it was happening again. I trembled uncontrollably. As I grabbed Logan's arm, it was like I was trying to pull Doug off Austin again. Trying to save him.

I couldn't get rid of the images. Parking in front of Mom and my third stepdad Doug's house. Doug's car pulling into the driveway right behind me. Getting out of my car. Waving to him as I grabbed my laundry basket from the backseat. Doug waiting in the driveway, holding his briefcase.
 

Doug asking, "What are you doing here?" as I walked up the front walk.

Holding up my laundry basket. "I'm out of clean clothes. What are you doing here? I thought you were out of town."

"Caught an earlier flight home so I could surprise Melissa."

His key in the front door. The two of us joking with each other. Freezing in the entryway as we heard the distinctive thumping and moaning of sex. Turning toward the living room. Looking directly at Mom and Austin having sex on the couch. So shocked neither of us could process it. As obvious as it was, it just didn't make sense.

Doug dropping his briefcase. The roar that came out of him as he charged them and pulled Austin, naked from the waist down, off Mom. The sickening thud of his fists hammering Austin again and again while Mom screamed at him to stop. The blood from Austin's nose and lip spattering the cream sofa and the carpet, the wall behind them. Mom reaching for her clothes and phone.
 

Not thinking, just grabbing Doug's arm, trying to pull him away from Austin before he killed him. Flailing and failing miserably, a mere gnat toying with a raging bull. Wedging myself between them. The searing blow to my head that was meant for Austin. Staggering back into the end table. A lamp crashing to the floor. My ears ringing so loudly I couldn't hear anything but the sound of consciousness fleeing. Someone catching me before I went down.
 

Doug's bloody fist. His prized class ring gleaming through a coating of blood. Something sticky running down my cheek. Touching my face. My fingers coming away bloody. Stunned, confused, barely hanging on. My lip swelling. The taste of blood and violence.

Logan turned to stare at me, concern and confusion etched on his face, like he couldn't understand what I was so afraid of. Like he thought I should be happy he was defending my honor, playing my white knight.

Schwartz got his feet beneath him again. With Logan distracted and restrained, however feebly, by me, he slammed Logan with a fist to his left eye. Logan's head whipped back.

I screamed again, a banshee wail, and wedged myself between them as Schwartz wound up again, bracing myself for the blow that was coming.

Two dads who were standing nearby grabbed Schwartz and restrained him before he could deliver his next punch. Several servers appeared at Logan's side, ready to hold him back. Logan dropped his punching arm and waved them off as he wrapped his free arm around me. "I'm done."

They backed off, hovering anxiously nearby like they didn't quite believe him.

Amber crossed the room, stopping at Logan's side. She put her hand on his shoulder and surveyed the damage. A tiny smile played at the corners of her mouth as she grabbed several pieces of ice from a bucket on the table, wrapped them in a napkin, and held them gently against his eye. "That eye could get nasty." A look of admiration shone in hers.

President Lawrence, his face an angry red, finally broke through from the back of the crowd to see what the commotion was. Frowning slightly, and obviously trying to maintain his presidential composure, he turned his gaze to Amber in question just as Harlan appeared at the front of the crowd, too.

"It's nothing." She gave a delicate shrug of her shoulders and laughed. "Too much pregame exuberance. A little horseplay that got out of hand. A
boy
took a tumble." The way she used the word "boy" was a final insult to Schwartz. She spotted Harlan at the edge of the crowd. "I'm sure Harlan will make this good."

Even though she was saving Logan's butt, her purring voice sent a shiver down my spine.
 

"Absolutely," Harlan said. He was staring at Logan and me, still held tightly by the arm Logan had wrapped around my waist. His expression was hard to read, but I knew it meant trouble for me. He didn't like the way Logan held me so possessively. He would put a stop to it if he could.

I felt like I barely knew Logan. I freaked. I had to get out of that room so I could breathe. The way Harlan stared at me. The faces of the crowd. The cool, sexy confidence of Amber. The violence.

I slid out of Logan's grip, turned, and ran out of the room without stopping to get my coat. I ran through the main body of the field house, threading my way through the crowd. Past the boisterous beer garden filled with laughing people. Past the balloons in school colors. Past the streamers. And the band playing the fight song. Past the booth selling game-day sweatshirts. Out into the bracing cold of the November afternoon where my breath made puffs of white in the air.

I paused with tears in my eyes on the path up the hill toward the main body of campus away from the stadium, trying to catch my breath. In real danger of hyperventilating. I was still shaking.

"El! El!" Logan chased after me.
 

I heard him pounding after me, gaining on me. I should have started running again. But I couldn't make myself.
 

He caught me and wrapped his arms around me from behind, curling around me like he wanted to protect me from the world. "You're freezing." He pressed his head to mine and kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry. The things that douchebag was saying…I couldn't just stand by."
 

A sob stuck in my throat. He sounded so contrite. He deserved to know why I was acting like I was.

"I couldn't let him get away with it, El."

"It's—"

"Logan!" Harlan strode up the hill toward us, carrying our coats. "There you are." He shoved a jacket and an instant ice pack at Logan and gave me a hard stare as he held my coat out to me.

I took my coat from Harlan reluctantly and caught my first glimpse of Logan's eye. Schwartz had decked him a good one. His eye was swelling. But it wasn't as bad as the shiner he'd had when I first met him.

Logan helped me into my coat before shrugging into his own and putting the ice on his eye.

"I've taken care of things," Harlan said to his son. "That asshole will be feeling the beating you gave him for a while. That's what I always say—if you're going to strike, strike hard." He sounded proud of Logan, rather than upset.

Once his coat was on, Logan wrapped his arms around me again.

"Good thing Amber stepped in when she did." Harlan turned his gaze on me again, studying me in his son's embrace.
 

I knew from the look on his face I'd lost some respect in his eyes. Not that I cared, except for Logan's sake. If he admired striking hard, I was certain running displeased him. But I wasn't going to explain myself to him.
 

His gaze flitted briefly to Logan's arms around me again and his eyes narrowed. "Spend Thanksgiving with us," he said out of the blue, like he was just continuing a conversation that had been momentarily disrupted. It was less an invitation and more of a command. "Logan's mom will want to meet you."

I should have been pleased, but I didn't trust his motives. I looked up at Logan for confirmation he wanted me with him for Thanksgiving. Truthfully, the prospect scared me.

Logan hesitated. His arms felt stiff around me.

I opened my mouth to refuse just as Logan spoke up.

"Say yes. Please, El." It wasn't his usual tone of voice, the one that made me weak in the knees. He was trying to mask it, but I got the feeling he really didn't
want
me to go home with him for the holidays.